Okay. I- I've asked you to do so much for me already that I don't want to ask you to do more, but... [ His eyes lower once more even as he sees her shift and feels her gaze lock onto his. ] Can you help me with this? And then I won't ask you for more after that.

[ He just knows that if he was left to his own devices to find things that add his own personal touch to her apartment, he'd take hours to do it, and then at the end of it all, probably come home empty-handed.

He wouldn't be lying if he said that re-learning how to live is one of the hardest things about this. Living and surviving are two very different things, and Alan's realizing he's having to completely reframe his way of thinking and acting. ]

I know that, I do. I tried so hard to come home; we tried so hard to make it happen. I'm not leaving, I'm not going to disappear. I'm here and I'm staying here, but I forgot what it was like to live with someone else. To wake up to you every morning. [ I used to wake up to A- No, that's in the past now. I'm with Jesse now. ] I like waking up to you every morning.

[ A flash of that old determination of his has come up out of nowhere, and it seems to be stubbornly hanging on for the time being. ]

Clothes. Okay. I think I can manage clothes. [ Somehow. ]

And yeah, I know. I know you're right, I can't keep living like this. It's not living, is it? [ He shakes his head once, and then he adds: ] I'm sorry that I'm so bad at this. I'm really trying to get better.

[ And having said that, he makes himself lift the cup again and take another sip. The coffee's cooling off, but that doesn't bother him. ]