[ He's keenly aware of her eyes on him as he tries to eat the energy bar. And that's half the problem, really; it could be the best tasting thing on earth and he still would have a hard time eating it. He hasn't explained to her or anyone what trying to eat is like... what trying to do anything remotely close to normal is like.

They wouldn't understand, would they? It's just eating. It's just living in the world like millions of people do every day. But to Alan, it sometimes it feels like climbing the tallest mountain in the world: climbing up a few paces and then falling back fifty paces. He glares at the energy bar as if it's offended him, but he tries to push that expression away by the time he tries to catch Jesse's eye again. ]

It's fine. It's- I'm sure it tastes great, I just... [ I can't tell her what this is like. It'll just make her feel worse, and I've done that enough times already. ]

Don't worry about it. Don't worry about getting me things. I'll get used to the energy bars. [ And the hundreds of other things I'm still trying to get used to.

He watches her set to work preparing her own breakfast, and as smells start to spread through the room, he feels his stomach turn. He can't remember how he could go through life with ease, without the internal protest at everything he couldn't do when in the Dark Place. If he could just shut those reactions off, maybe things would be better. ]

You like pancakes, right? Or was that Steve? [ He can't remember it very clearly, but he dimly remembers one or both of them getting pancakes somewhere. Before all hell broke loose. Because of me. ]

Like what? [ His tone is actually curious now. ] Tell me something that's different. Something that- that we have now that we didn't have thirteen years ago.

[ He wonders idly if she'll notice that he said "we", not "you" or some other word that keeps him separate from things. Separate from their world. ]