You're handling your issues just fine. Well, a lot better than I am, anyway, and that's saying something. I think I was never good at handling much of anything. [ His recollections of his life before all this happened are sketchy at best as she well knows, but maybe there's something that could jar his memory. Old newspapers, perhaps. He has this lingering feeling that he wasn't anyone's favorite person thirteen years ago. Oh, he had his fans, and he was married, but he just has a feeling that he was more popular because of the trouble he caused than anything else. ]
That's probably more accurate. I can't pretend to know a lot about Polaris, except for what you've told me. And honestly, I don't remember. Maybe I had a vision or a dream about you and that's what gave me the idea to try and reach out. I don't remember it, and that's what's weird. I don't think I'd forget anything about you.
[ He'd have to search his memory and navigate the holes in it, but something tells him that he never forgot Jesse. Maybe the darkness tried to make him forget, but he likes to think that if he did forget, he'd feel a certain emptiness still hanging over him. He feels a sort of emptiness because so many pieces of his life seem to be hidden from him, but one thing he doesn't feel is a disconnect from Jesse or Polaris.
Maybe a disconnect happened because of how far down into the ocean he was, but that's not the kind of disconnect he means. ]
I don't know if that's possible. I barely remember anything from thirteen years ago, and I definitely don't remember much about anything that happened before all this started. It's like trying to picture someone else's life. I don't know if I was happy, or if things at home were good.
[ Did Alice and I go on dates? Did we take walks around the city because we both had the time? I wish I could remember. Not that I want to talk about Alice around Jesse. I know she says she doesn't mind, but I can't keep bringing her up. ]
... Wait. [ Alan's tone changes as he pulls himself out of his questioning thoughts about his past. ] You lost the connection? The Hiss got in? What? Did you tell me about this and I forgot?
[ His hold on her tightens even as she leans more into his shoulder. Before he answers anything else she says about the other versions of themselves, he makes a decisive movement. It's not harsh or meant to be uncomfortable, even though it takes some shifting around for him to do it. Jesse still feels cold to him, so he decides in that moment that they need to go back to the bed where she can warm up and he can keep holding her. ]
Do you mind if I...? [ He trails off, knowing she'll get the idea once he slides his arms beneath her legs and back. He starts to stand up slowly, waiting to see if she'll tell him to stop. If she does, he won't go through with this, because he wants to do what she wants. ]
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That's probably more accurate. I can't pretend to know a lot about Polaris, except for what you've told me. And honestly, I don't remember. Maybe I had a vision or a dream about you and that's what gave me the idea to try and reach out. I don't remember it, and that's what's weird. I don't think I'd forget anything about you.
[ He'd have to search his memory and navigate the holes in it, but something tells him that he never forgot Jesse. Maybe the darkness tried to make him forget, but he likes to think that if he did forget, he'd feel a certain emptiness still hanging over him. He feels a sort of emptiness because so many pieces of his life seem to be hidden from him, but one thing he doesn't feel is a disconnect from Jesse or Polaris.
Maybe a disconnect happened because of how far down into the ocean he was, but that's not the kind of disconnect he means. ]
I don't know if that's possible. I barely remember anything from thirteen years ago, and I definitely don't remember much about anything that happened before all this started. It's like trying to picture someone else's life. I don't know if I was happy, or if things at home were good.
[ Did Alice and I go on dates? Did we take walks around the city because we both had the time? I wish I could remember. Not that I want to talk about Alice around Jesse. I know she says she doesn't mind, but I can't keep bringing her up. ]
... Wait. [ Alan's tone changes as he pulls himself out of his questioning thoughts about his past. ] You lost the connection? The Hiss got in? What? Did you tell me about this and I forgot?
[ His hold on her tightens even as she leans more into his shoulder. Before he answers anything else she says about the other versions of themselves, he makes a decisive movement. It's not harsh or meant to be uncomfortable, even though it takes some shifting around for him to do it. Jesse still feels cold to him, so he decides in that moment that they need to go back to the bed where she can warm up and he can keep holding her. ]
Do you mind if I...? [ He trails off, knowing she'll get the idea once he slides his arms beneath her legs and back. He starts to stand up slowly, waiting to see if she'll tell him to stop. If she does, he won't go through with this, because he wants to do what she wants. ]