[ If Alan were sitting up and not lying beside Jesse with his head on her shoulder, he'd move to put his head in his hands. Sometimes the decisions he has to make seem overwhelming, but even when they threaten to become too much, he remembers how hard he fought to get out of the Dark Place so he could come home. He wanted to come home, so even if everything becomes more overwhelming to the point that he's not sure how to deal with it all, he knows it's worth it. ]
No, I think I need to do these tests and just get things figured out. But if you wanted to talk to her and see what she says, that's a start.
[ And I need to start somewhere. ]
What do you mean, you wouldn't say you deserve it? Of course you do. After everything, after Ordinary, after all the loops... you could have left, but you didn't. [ She could have found someone richer, more settled, someone who could give her a good life. What kind of life can I give her?
Out loud, he says: ] Yeah. Together sounds good. [ He wants to kick himself, to call himself an idiot. He wants her to have a good life, but he's not willing to let go of her either. And knowing her brand of stubbornness, she won't let him let her go. ]
... Maybe. I don't know. I do know that you wouldn't ever be a homewrecker. Not intentionally. I know you would, you'd leave rather than stay and...
[ It's something he's still wrestling with, and maybe a part of him will always wrestle with it. As she knows, he loves Alice, and he holds regrets for not being there when she needed him, but he loves Jesse too. Jesse became so important to him so quickly, and he barely had the time or the grasp over his own mind to process it all.
Still, he doesn't doubt Jesse's sincerity even for a second, and he's grateful for it. Her next words come, and his gray eyes that look conflicted, maybe even a little troubled as he works through everything, lock onto hers. He can read her, and he can venture a guess as to the meaning behind those words.
It's not a competition between Jesse and Alice. He loves both of them, and as far as he's concerned, Jesse doesn't have to measure up to anyone. All she has to do is be herself and be the person he's fallen in love with. ]
She doesn't have anything or anyone to measure up to. I'm sure that other me would say that without hesitation. All she has to do is be herself. [ All you have to do is be yourself, Jesse.
It's Alan's turn to hope that Jesse can hear the sincerity in his voice. ]
Yeah, that sounds good. I'll help pay for it, too. [ He's still trying to wrap his head around the thorny legal matters about his assets and possessions, and a lot of it just makes his head hurt, but it's something he can't avoid forever.
He lapses into a brief silence as he nestles himself a little further against her, not wanting to take up too much space or get too close that it becomes uncomfortable, but being close to her reassures him that this is real and not just some nightmare that he'll jolt awake from, finding himself right back where he started again. ]
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No, I think I need to do these tests and just get things figured out. But if you wanted to talk to her and see what she says, that's a start.
[ And I need to start somewhere. ]
What do you mean, you wouldn't say you deserve it? Of course you do. After everything, after Ordinary, after all the loops... you could have left, but you didn't. [ She could have found someone richer, more settled, someone who could give her a good life. What kind of life can I give her?
Out loud, he says: ] Yeah. Together sounds good. [ He wants to kick himself, to call himself an idiot. He wants her to have a good life, but he's not willing to let go of her either. And knowing her brand of stubbornness, she won't let him let her go. ]
... Maybe. I don't know. I do know that you wouldn't ever be a homewrecker. Not intentionally. I know you would, you'd leave rather than stay and...
[ It's something he's still wrestling with, and maybe a part of him will always wrestle with it. As she knows, he loves Alice, and he holds regrets for not being there when she needed him, but he loves Jesse too. Jesse became so important to him so quickly, and he barely had the time or the grasp over his own mind to process it all.
Still, he doesn't doubt Jesse's sincerity even for a second, and he's grateful for it. Her next words come, and his gray eyes that look conflicted, maybe even a little troubled as he works through everything, lock onto hers. He can read her, and he can venture a guess as to the meaning behind those words.
It's not a competition between Jesse and Alice. He loves both of them, and as far as he's concerned, Jesse doesn't have to measure up to anyone. All she has to do is be herself and be the person he's fallen in love with. ]
She doesn't have anything or anyone to measure up to. I'm sure that other me would say that without hesitation. All she has to do is be herself. [ All you have to do is be yourself, Jesse.
It's Alan's turn to hope that Jesse can hear the sincerity in his voice. ]
Yeah, that sounds good. I'll help pay for it, too. [ He's still trying to wrap his head around the thorny legal matters about his assets and possessions, and a lot of it just makes his head hurt, but it's something he can't avoid forever.
He lapses into a brief silence as he nestles himself a little further against her, not wanting to take up too much space or get too close that it becomes uncomfortable, but being close to her reassures him that this is real and not just some nightmare that he'll jolt awake from, finding himself right back where he started again. ]