[ If that time does in fact come soon, Alan knows without question that he wants to help. He wants to lend whatever knowledge he has that might be useful to the Bureau to them. To Jesse. It does give something to hold onto, something to focus on along with the longing to just be home with Jesse for good. Having goals gives Alan focus and determination, and given his uncertainty about writing again, it helps.
She says yes just like he thought he would, but somehow, it doesn't really do much to lessen the guilt he feels. ]
So... So by that logic, I should clean up this mess because I'm the one who made it. I don't want to be like the old Bureau who doesn't solve problems, especially problems that I created. Problems I'm responsible for making.
[ He's just stating what he believes to be true. She might present arguments to the contrary, but a lot of the responsibility for it all does rest on his shoulders. But in all honesty, he doesn't want to talk about this anymore either.
It's something that should be put in the past now that it's over so that they can both move on.
And moving on together is what Alan wants most. He knows that she responds to him touching her anywhere that he can reach, but he wants to find that one place that makes her respond the most. The obvious place is her breasts, and she guides his hand to rest against hers. He cups it in his hand and gives a light stroke followed by an equally light squeeze. He's certain it's a sensitive area, and the last thing he wants is to cause her discomfort. She doesn't seem to be anything but enjoying the feel of his touch, but he has to be sure.
But there's no mistaking the way she gasps and moans for anything but sheer pleasure, and Alan takes that as the encouragement he needs. She breathes his name against him, which only confirms it further. ]
Jesse, I love you. [ His tone is something she's thought of as unique to him, and it's the tone he uses just for her, when he has something specific he wants to express. She's heard variations of it before, in moments when he was desperate and trying to hold on, and in moments when it seemed like he was losing his grip. But now, in this moment, there's just love and a need to state that love out loud, to drive away any doubts that might somehow be lingering. ]
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She says yes just like he thought he would, but somehow, it doesn't really do much to lessen the guilt he feels. ]
So... So by that logic, I should clean up this mess because I'm the one who made it. I don't want to be like the old Bureau who doesn't solve problems, especially problems that I created. Problems I'm responsible for making.
[ He's just stating what he believes to be true. She might present arguments to the contrary, but a lot of the responsibility for it all does rest on his shoulders. But in all honesty, he doesn't want to talk about this anymore either.
It's something that should be put in the past now that it's over so that they can both move on.
And moving on together is what Alan wants most. He knows that she responds to him touching her anywhere that he can reach, but he wants to find that one place that makes her respond the most. The obvious place is her breasts, and she guides his hand to rest against hers. He cups it in his hand and gives a light stroke followed by an equally light squeeze. He's certain it's a sensitive area, and the last thing he wants is to cause her discomfort. She doesn't seem to be anything but enjoying the feel of his touch, but he has to be sure.
But there's no mistaking the way she gasps and moans for anything but sheer pleasure, and Alan takes that as the encouragement he needs. She breathes his name against him, which only confirms it further. ]
Jesse, I love you. [ His tone is something she's thought of as unique to him, and it's the tone he uses just for her, when he has something specific he wants to express. She's heard variations of it before, in moments when he was desperate and trying to hold on, and in moments when it seemed like he was losing his grip. But now, in this moment, there's just love and a need to state that love out loud, to drive away any doubts that might somehow be lingering. ]