oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[outlierdirector]

a different path,
the same road.

When I thought that I fought this war alone
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try CODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[crazyisinevitable]

[ Maybe with Alice, it was love at first sight. Maybe it was love at first sight with Jesse too. Maybe Alan is just the kind of man who falls in love quickly and deeply. He doesn't look at himself and say he's a one night stand kind of man. He loved Alice deeply and completely, even if he didn't always know how to be in a relationship, and maybe that's the reason they went down the path heading for divorce.

Maybe he could be different with Jesse, or maybe nothing will change at all...

I want to be different. I need to be different. Better.

He feels her melt against him, feels her body pressing against his, and he knows in that instant that he wants to be one with her. How that looks, he's not sure. One in the physical sense? Is it too soon for that? They're already on that threshold, coming closer to that point, but maybe they should wait. Wait for what though?

Alan doesn't want to wait. He wants to be hers, and for her to be his, so he leans in even more and returns the kiss first, and adds a brief tracing motion with his tongue along the edges of her mouth. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ Jesse couldn't pin point the moment she fell for Alan. The night they met could have sparked it, or it could have been the day after. She isn't sure she'd call the feelings she had at the Coal Mine love, but, it was definitely attraction. Why else would she have kissed him? Why else would she have felt the wave of panic when the Dark Presence swept him into the Lake?

It couldn't have been love at first sight. Could it? Wouldn't she have known?

Maybe she couldn't tell because she's been too paranoid to trust.

He traces her mouth and a needy moan comes from her. Somehow that small gesture has always sent sparks up her spine. She turns just enough under the water to place her back against the wall. Hands grip him to come fully against her. Something of a whine or frustrated sound leaves her as she tries to press against him in the right angle to lose herself in him.

Just like before.

Could it work like before when she's missing Polaris? ]

[crazyisinevitable]

[ Alan knows he's felt a swell of emotions almost constantly ever since he met her. There was a feeling like his head was spinning the night they met, and that feeling continued when they kissed, and then... When he found himself falling into the lake, he felt panic and fear and something best described as loss. He felt as though he was losing something that he'd only just found, and now it was being snatched out of his hands.

He didn't know then if he'd ever get it back, or if this was the end.

But it turns out that it wasn't the end; they found each other. They're here. They're together. A moan of his own escapes him when her hands grip onto him and he feels her tugging him in closer. Then she presses herself against him and he reacts immediately, pressing himself against her in return. They need to become one. They should become one.

... Shouldn't they? He wants it, and she seems to want it too, so why not? Why shouldn't they lay claim to each other?

Even though he doesn't know the exact doubts running through her mind, he's convinced that it can work. It will work. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ Haven't they already claimed one another already? More than once, if memory serves right. Which she knows it does because she seems to be the only one who claims that what happened in Bright Falls was real. Alan Wake isn't dead. He's missing in the lake. The lake isn't just a lake, it's a doorway somewhere else.

Not that anyone believes her.

Just like Ordinary.

Psyche evaluations lost her the job. The loss of a job lost the apartment.

But, she can't just ignore what's real.

Polaris is real. Ordinary is real. Bright Falls is real. Alan Wake is real. The way they press against each other and grind their hips is real. All of this is real, even if it's somehow in a fictional story. ]

Alan.

[crazyisinevitable]

[ Maybe they're the only two in the whole world who believes that what happened in Bright Falls is real. Alan knows it is; it's too real, sometimes. But the one thing he would say is real in the best sense is meeting Jesse. Being with her. Talking to her. Holding her. He wants this; he wants more.

He doesn't want to be greedy, but he knows that he wants to have so much of this closeness with her; he wants it until it fills them both up and they're finally satisfied. Not that he thinks he'd ever come to a point where he no longer wants to be filled up with that heady feeling that makes him feel like he's floating. Flying. Dreaming but not dreaming, because it's real.

A wordless sound escapes him then; it's a sound of desire, of wanting. Maybe one day they won't have to want anymore because they'll find that it's all real. It's theirs. They won't have to wake up from a dream, because it won't be a dream. It'll be their reality.

Shouldn't you be waking up now? ...Waking up from what? And no, I don't. I want to stay like this with her for as long as we can. I don't want to wake up or blink or turn around and realize she's gone. Maybe this connection or whatever the hell it is won't stay forever, but I'm not going to end it before we're ready.

They're so close now that personal space isn't even a concept, so Alan doesn't have to move very far at all to plant a kiss on her mouth. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ The people of Bright Falls seem to know something happened, but never talk about it. "Strange things happen", they say. The Breakers know things happen--otherwise the older Breaker wouldn't have insisted on her leaving. Everyone else in the world seem content to simply say that Alan Wake disappeared.

Or, he's a mass murderer.

He tried to kill his ex-wife.

The claims are so outlandish but everyone believes them.

She kisses back needily, hungrily. Hips grind to his to try and explain what she wants. Touching, kissing, being together as one with no spaces between. It's an almost chaotic feeling, but not nearly as primal as the first time they were intimate. Instead, everything is driven by a deep sense of... what she supposes is truly love. It can't be only heated passion.

Fingers trail down his arms and then to his sides. She wants him to touch and kiss those places he knows make her walls fall down and focus only on him. She's missed it. This. Him. Just being with him and talking to him. Hearing the sound of his voice. ]

[crazyisinevitable]

[ Maybe that's for the best. Maybe they should just leave it at strange things happening and not go digging in further for more information. For Alan, he believes that what's going on is so out there that maybe people shouldn't try to understand it. Somehow, it's almost comforting to think that there are people out there whose world consists of waking up, eating breakfast, going to work or school, and then coming home to have dinner. It's an ordinary life, a normal one, and none of them have to worry about the weird and supernatural.

But he doesn't want to think about that now. He just wants to think about her, about feeling her and making her feel good. The neediness in her kiss isn't lost on him, and he moans in pleasure when her hips grind against his. He gets the message loud and clear, and he starts touching her everywhere his hands can reach, pressing kisses to her mouth, neck, collarbone... anywhere that he can reach.

If he can excite her and make her feel good, and make her feel loved, that's the most important thing to him. ]

[outlierdirector]

( cont here )