ᴊᴇssᴇ ғᴀᴅᴇɴ | ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦʳᵉᶜᵗᵒʳ. (
outlierdirector) wrote in
synthneon2023-11-29 09:38 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try
no subject
He's lucky he only got the camera. [ A shrug happens. ] I don't think I would be cut out for it. Being famous. I wouldn't want that many people around me or... trying to get in my life. Or even knowing I exist.
[ She glances back at him again. ] No. That's not what... I just... [ A sigh. ] Trusting people. Believing they believe me. It's hard. I don't do it anymore.
[ Jesse raises her eyes at the tug on her mind. Eyebrows crease. The sun is setting, but it feels like the rays are... hidden? Shrouded? The woods seem darker--as if the sunlight is being blocked from entering.
« This feels wrong. This isn't right. It's so... dark. Is this what it's been like outside? Why you told me to stay indoors? »
Polaris shimmers around her.
Jesse takes a small step back go be closer to Alan. Strength in numbers. Right? ]
no subject
[ The press and crowds and fans might be part of it, but that's not all that drew Alan to becoming an author in the first place. ]
If you're looking for a quiet life, being a writer isn't the way to go.
[ Alan just looks at Jesse for a moment, a thoughtful look taking his face. He hopes his gaze doesn't make her uncomfortable, and he eventually shifts to briefly looking at something ahead of them in the woods. But he says: ]
I don't know why, or what it is... writer's intuition, maybe. Something's telling me I can trust you, and believe what you say.
[ It could be because there's no one Alan really trusts, apart from Barry. The kidnapper is a kidnapper, and Rose drugged him. And the environment around here isn't really good for settling the nerves. There's something almost rock solid about Jesse, in a way. Alan can't explain where these brain waves are coming from, but something tells him he can trust her. Maybe even rely on her.
And if that's the case, he needs to be someone she can rely on in turn. ]
Hey, I forgot to ask... [ His gaze shifts again when she steps closer to him. ] Do you have a flashlight or a gun?
no subject
[ Jesse hardly notices how he looks at her. Her attention is divided between the darkening woods and the conversation with Polaris. She only pauses in her footing when he speaks again. A moment passes before she turns and looks over her shoulder at him. The controlled expression slowly fades into something of confused surprise. It's obvious what he's said has left her speechless until his next question. ]
Noo... [ « I've never fired a gun. Or owned a gun. Obviously. » ] Why would I need one?
no subject
Honestly? Not really. Maybe it started out that way, but now I just feel blocked. None of my ideas work.
[ And that's probably ironic, given the situation that they're in right now. ]
Why? If we get surrounded or cornered, you're going to need one. It's dangerous out there. [ Without hesitation, he hands over his own flashlight. If she's never fired a gun before, he figures he should keep it and let her handle the flashlight part of things. ]
no subject
[ She glances to the side, then back to Alan. ] Maybe you just need the right inspiration. A muse, right? That's something writers need. [ A pause. ] That's actually why you came to Bright Falls, isn't it? A change of scenery to try and get inspired for a new book.
[ « It makes sense. » ]
Surrounded? Cornered? By what? [ Jesse barely takes the flashlight into her hands before he's moving forward with the gun. She quickly catches up to walk beside him. The flashlight is pointed down so they can see what they're walking on as the woods continue to darken. ] What makes it dangerous?
no subject
That's another thing I forgot to mention: I'm the worst person when it comes to making plans. Which you've already figured out, but at least I can admit it. [ And then his expression sobers again. ] Why do you think my intuition's broken? You're still here, aren't you? You didn't run or push me away when you learned what's happening. If anything, you seemed even more determined to stick around.
[ And that counts as reliable in Alan's book. ]
So far, I haven't seen anything that counts as inspiration. [ Except for maybe her, but if I tell her that right now, won't she just run away? No, I think I need to keep that to myself. ] I do have some ideas, though.
[ He watches her to make sure she has the flashlight and that she's following along with him. ]
It's in the pages: they're apparently called Taken. They were people once, before something got them. [ Darkness, the devil, doesn't it all come down to the same thing? ] The gun is obvious, but the flashlight helps make the gun work. I know it doesn't make sense.
no subject
Jesse's eyes, however, train downwards at what he says. She doesn't voice the thoughts and quite frankly she doesn't need to. It's obvious by the haunted look in her eyes that she's simply used to feeling that way. Maybe because she's told it to herself for so long, or it was something that someone else told her that has been negatively reinforced. Either way, the struggle plays out in her eyes. ]
No one should rely on me. I'll let everyone down. I'll let you down. I always do. [ The words sound hollow despite how she speaks as if she believes them. She may even be scared of the words. ] I'm not a leader or a heroic figure. I'm just...
[ She trails off once more as those defensive walls come up. ]
None of this weirdness is inspiring? Really? [ Jesse glances up at him. Something in her tells her that's a lie.
« He's tied into all this somehow. Isn't he? »
Polaris shifts. ]
"Something got them"? [ The sentence is parroted but, there's a hollowness. Something like familiarness. Fear to some degree. ] They... the Taken, things. They only come out at night?
no subject
If it ever does. ]
You haven't let me down so far, and somehow, I don't think you will. I couldn't tell you why; I just have this feeling that you're not going to let me down. Now, I might let you down, 'cause I've done it before, to other people, but-
[ I believe in her. Is it because of that dream? I don't know. I just can't shake this feeling. ]
No, it's just weird. [ If anything around here is a potential inspiration, I'd say it's her. But that would definitely turn her off. ]
As far as I can tell. They don't like the light anyway, so it makes sense they just stay hidden when it's light out. Well, it doesn't make sense, but you know what I mean.
no subject
« I'll just have to trust that he knows. And, that you know where we're going. Why we're bothering with any of this. It's just... hard. Trusting in people. » ]
Maybe. [ Which is as much of an admission of agreeing with him that she'll give for now.
She nods. ] Like vampires. Sort of. Do they hiss?
[ Jesse pauses. Polaris tugs at the back of her mind. She grabs onto Alan's arm and pulls him down with her. An axe sails past both their heads. Her green eyes snap upwards towards where the axe went. There's no sign of it.
« Did it... did it just disappear?! What the fuck?! »
She whirls around to look behind them, flashlight pointing forwards. The light catches the edge of something that dodges back into the shadows. The hand on his arm curls into his sleeve more. ]
What the hell was that?
no subject
No, they don't hiss. Sometimes they say things, or shout them. They don't always make sense. You can understand what they're saying, but it's why they're saying it that's not clear. [ He already has a sinking feeling about them, but he doesn't want to be proven right.
He doesn't have much time to talk more about the Taken, because it seems as though they've stumbled upon one. Or several. The axe goes flying above them, and then seems to vanish. Alan's crouched down after Jesse pulled him down with her, but he's looking around. If there's one, there could be more. ]
That was a Taken. Your first one. [ He's still peering around, looking back over his shoulder and then looking in front of them again. ]
There might be more where that one came from. And that's why we need to get you a weapon.
no subject
Jesse's green eyes move back to Alan, wide and unsure. Not quite afraid, but definitely unsure of what to do with something she can't really see. She won't be a sitting duck for whatever this is. She tugs on his sleeve and starts moving again. Their destination hasn't changed. ]
My first one. Great. Just the sort of first I wanted. [ Jesse shakes her head and keeps the flashlight beam pointed ahead of them. ] I don't--I've never used a gun before. I don't know how to use one!
[ The woods shift in a way that sends electric shocks up her spine. It's a familiar feeling. Things altered from the way they should be. Reality shifting into something different. Fingers curl tightly into Alan's sleeve and her pace picks up rapidly. Almost as she's trying to escape what's happening around her. ]
We have to go. Now. [ There's an edge of panic in her voice. Fear. Her pace keeps speeding up every few steps. ] We can out run them, right? Because, we can't stop. We have to leave. Right. Now.
no subject
Maybe I shouldn't have told you, but... at the same time, you needed to know. To be ready. If- if you want, I'll show you how to use a gun. I learned how when I was doing research for my books.
[ He's still following along with her, but when her fingers curl again into his sleeve, that's when he says: ]
Are you sure you still want to do this? You could leave now and pretend you never got involved. You never met me, you never saw any of this. But yeah, we can outrun them. I've done it before. They're fast, but there's things that can slow them down. Fallen trees. Rocks. Hiding works too.
[ And at that moment, another Taken lumbers into view, and this time, Alan grabs at Jesse's hand, intending to pull her further into some trees to hide. ]
no subject
[ Jesse is pulled into the trees by his hand over hers. She doesn't pull away. Instead, her gaze moves around to look at where the Taken is. The fear seems to have been replaced by a panic and a haunted look in her eyes. It's not of denial or disbelief. The haunted look implies familiarity. Her gaze drops to the ground and then moves back up to him. ]
We can't stay here. [ The statement also seems to act as an answer to his question. ] Wake, we can't--
--Logging is a hazardous occupation!
[ Jesse visibly jumps as an axe sails through the air, lodging itself in the tree next to her. The words the Taken yell echo in the words around them. She looks side to side, clamping down on Alan's hand. It's so dark, and everything looks so different...
Polaris shimmers in the distance.
She knows the look of her friend anywhere.
With her hand still holding Alan's, she starts running in the direction Polaris pulls her. It may seem like she's running blindly to anyone else. Alan may not be able to see or sense Polaris. Maybe he can tell that Jesse isn't just darting in one direction in a panic. ]
no subject
[ Alan's gaze shifts to meet hers, and if she's looking, she'll be able to see that there's fear in his expression. He's not a fighter, not really; he's just a writer whose experience with guns comes from shooting them at a firing range. Shooting actual moving targets that are armed with axes and other weapons is a whole other can of worms.
So if she's afraid, then so is he. ]
No, we definitely can't stay here. [ His hand tightens on hers, in something that's equal parts protective and afraid. ] The problem is, I don't know where we can go.
[ He doesn't have time to think about that, though, because he's interrupted by the Taken's exclamation, and yet another axe sailing through the air. And this time, Jesse takes off running, and since they're holding hands, he has no choice but to follow after her. He's not about to stay behind and leave her to fend for herself. He brought her into this, so he's going to stick with her, even if he has no idea where the hell she's going.
He might not be able to see Polaris in her entirety, but he can see a faint shimmer that's so faint, part of him thinks it's in his head. But Jesse seems to be running in that direction, and well... Maybe it's time for Alan to show her that he really does believe her, and trusts her too.
He keeps running along after her, doing his best to keep from being too loud; he's really not the most in shape, and he gets winded too easily (almost embarrassingly easily), but he doesn't want to be the reason they get killed by a Taken. He thinks he spots a glimmer of light up ahead and he wants to tell Jesse to stop there, but he has to catch his breath first. Maybe if he tugs at her hand, she'll get the message: the message that's about something else other than his inability to run long distances. ]
no subject
Anyone would. ] Held captive by some dark force. That's what you're saying without actually saying it.
[ Her hand molds well against his protective hold. She wouldn't say she's entirely paralyzed with fear. There is fear, but, she is willing to push past it to get what needs to be done. It'll be easier with someone at her side is what she's decided. An odd decision considering she's been alone in more ways than one for so long.
« I don't want to go through something like that again by myself. »
Polaris continues to guide her through the night. Some points feel like she has to drag Alan along with her. He's clearly not used to running such long distances. She isn't either, but that drive to get away is stronger than anything else at the moment. So much so that it only seems to subside when she finds exactly what Polaris was taking her to.
A lamppost on the edge of town.
Jesse practically falls against the post, breathing heavily, back to Alan. Her head is lowered, some of the red hair coming free from the pony tail to help hide her face. It's not the Taken themselves that have scared her so much. Shades from her past, things that are too similar to Taken. Except the kids weren't shadowed and talking what would seem like nonsense. They were...
Her eyes shut as she leans her head against the post. It happened eight years ago. Memories fade, but those ones don't seem to. None of those memories do. They feel etched, permanently carved into her mind. Trauma, PTSD, it doesn't matter what anyone would call it to her.
She doesn't know why Polaris led her to the light. If it helps, it's certainly not helping her sort and beat back the memories unearthing in her mind. Her hand is still on an iron grip on the Writer's. He might pull it away now that they're.
Well, safer. ]
no subject
Yeah. More or less. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be held captive by anything, forget about some evil dark force. [ He huffs out a humorless laugh. ] That sounds like something from a bad movie, but it's too real.
[ He's trying his best to not just be dead weight that she has to drag along, but he knows all too well that he's not accustomed to this. Maybe he will be if this constant running to escape keeps happening. It's a mixed bag, really; he doesn't want them to keep running for their lives, but he does want to stop feeling winded after just a few minutes of running.
I really should have worked out more.
He starts to move closer to the lamppost when they finally reach it, but he changes his mind at the last minute when he sees Jesse fall against it. He keeps back from it, but not far enough that he's outside the light it's casting. He can catch his breath here and let her use the post to support her, if that's what she needs.
But he's still close enough to keep holding her hand, and although her grip is like a vise on his, he squeezes her hand, hoping to reassure her. They might have been thrown together by his actions or by the story or whatever, but they're doing this together. That means it shouldn't feel out of place to try and offer whatever support he can give.
And right now, it looks like she needs that. He can't tell what's going on in her head, but he's not backing away either. ]
no subject
[ She was a kid when everything happened in Ordinary. There was only so much they could do, so much the parents would allow them to do. Not that it mattered much once they all disappeared. Still, none of it is something she wants to repeat.
Ever.
« I just want to find my baby brother. I want to move on. I want to know I'm not crazy and someone else out there knows these things happen. They're real. I know they are... but no one else seems to believe it. They just pretend the poster is back on the wall and that life is normal again.
Why did you make me come here? I don't want to go through this again. I don't--what does this have to do with finding Dylan? None of this goes back to it. I just want to find my brother. Why are you making me go through something like this again?! »
Jesse presses her forehead to her arm against the lamppost. Her fingers curl into her hand. Tight enough that the nails bite into the palm of her hand. Blood pools underneath her nails.
« I hate this. I hate this. »
Alan would have no idea why she's reacting the way she is. Some part of her knows it's not fair to him. He's come to her for help--for whatever reason--and she's shut down. That's not good enough. She needs to be better. ]
Dung Munkeys. [ Despite her best efforts to control her voice, the tremors and fears can be heard in it. ] That's what my brother and I called them. Not ...not these things. But something like them. People who weren't people anymore.
no subject
Trapped? [ He tilts his head to one side. ] Who tr- Never mind. I shouldn't dig around into things that aren't my business. But- for whatever it's worth, as long as we're working together on this, I'll do what I can to keep you from being trapped again.
[ And then he smirks a wider one this time. ] That's not saying much since I can't even go three feet without sounding like a deflating balloon.
[ Throwing his better judgment to the winds, he steps up behind her, moving in a little closer and puts his free hand on her shoulder. If she jerks away, he'll know to back off. ]
.... Dung Munkeys? That's a name. [ He doesn't sound disbelieving or dismissive, just curious. ] So... this seems familiar to you, then. In a not good way.
no subject
Her eyes open to stare at the ground beneath them. The light is still pouring over them. The sounds of the Taken have disappeared for now. All she's left with is that feeling of the hand curled around her and as if cold water has splashed over her. Afraid, cold, and alone. Just like she felt when they took her brother.
Polaris can only do so much to ease her.
She feels his hand on her shoulder and it helps pull her from the memories swirling around. The lump in her throat is forced down, leaving both hands tremoring uncontrollably. What can she tell him? Should she tell him more? Maybe it was too much already. What if he leaves her behind if she says more? What if it pushes him away because he can't handle how the world is?
Why does any of it matter? Alan Wake is a stranger to her. Yet, she feels closer to him than she has anyone in years.
« Is it just because he's living through this...? That doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean he'll stick around. Or even want me, crazy weird Jesse Faden, to stick around. He's famous. What reason would he have to have me around...? Why do I care about any of it? I... I just...
I want someone to understand. That can't be him. It wouldn't be.
Can it? »
Jesse closes her eyes again and finally forces herself to let the breath she's been holding out. ]
It's what they looked like. After they turned. [ Her head tilts towards him, but she doesn't look up nor moves her gaze towards him. Just a small notion that most likely says more than she realizes. ] They... they never changed back. Whoever they were, they weren't them anymore. They couldn't be. They didn't want to change back.
[ Her hand manages to squeeze his. As she speaks, her tone turns hard. Bitter. Angry. Hurt. Maybe even a hint of betrayal. ] Weird things don't happen in just Bright Falls. They--it happened back home--when I was a kid. It... it wasn't what the government said it was. There wasn't an "industrial accident." No accident could do that! They lied! They covered it up, and took all the evidence away. Everyone just listens to what they said blindly. They don't ask questions! They don't listen to someone who was there!
[ « No one believes me. »
Jesse hides her face in her arm to remove an evidence of tears. She's strong. It doesn't bother her. She can prove it on her own.
Her and Polaris.
Against the world. ]
I thought... I didn't know Bright Falls was the same kind of weird... just weird... she told me to come here. I thought if I did... I... I didn't know any of this was like this. People becoming ... things ... I didn't... [ Jesse stops and shuts her eyes tighter. ] I'm just here because she told me to be here.
no subject
His fingers curl around her shoulder more, hoping he's doing something useful. He just wants to reassure her, to calm her, to make her feel like she's not alone. ]
It sounds like they might be... well, similar. Unfortunately. I don't know if they can change back either. I want to hope so, but- Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear.
[ He squeezes her hand in return as he continues to listen, noting how her tone of voice changes. Whatever happened to her, it's clearly left its mark. And Alan knows he'd be angry too if he was in her shoes. Government coverups. Shifting blame. Taking evidence. It sounds like typical government behavior, if you ask him. ]
Well, I'm asking questions and listening. If it wasn't an industrial accident... what was it? I want to hear your answer, not the hogwash the government was putting out there.
[ Alan moves in a little closer, pausing at the last second. ]
For what it's worth, if it's worth anything at all, I'm glad that you're here.
[ And throwing caution to the winds once more, Alan lifts both arms and slowly slides them around her in a hug. He doesn't pull her closer, doesn't really move at all other than to wrap his arms around her. They've only known each other for a day, if that, and he's already doing this. If she doesn't want it, he'll back off. But something tells him she needs the comfort right now, even comfort from an almost-stranger. ]
no subject
Jesse is about to force herself to answer but the words leave her mind the moment Alan wraps his arms around her. She stops entirely, eyes wide, staring at the ground. Part of her can't understand why he's doing it. They're strangers, he has no reason to care, no attachment. That part of her just doesn't understand why he is bothering. The other part is wanting to grasp onto anything that might prove there's someone else who understands.
« Does he really understand? Does he really believe me? How could anyone? This is still different from Ordinary. Good. Nothing like that should ever happen again. But... what if he really does believe? »
Her green eyes close. She hasn't pulled out of his hold but she also hasn't leaned into it more either.
A few minutes pass before she can bring herself to say something. Anything. ]
Bad things came out... like this. [ Jesse knows it's not specific enough. She's not willing to divulge all the details. Most the details. ] One of those bad things it... it changed some of my friends. Made them violent. [ Her head lowers slightly. ] All of the adults disappeared. It was just us kids. We stopped it--my brother, me, my friend. T-then the government came... they asked questions. They took my brother. I... I got away, but...
[ « Dylan was right behind me. I didn't mean to leave him. I don't know how we got separated. It's my fault. » ]
no subject
And in all honesty, he can't explain what it is that made him stop and hug her. He wouldn't call himself the comforting type, although he's not the type of person to just ignore someone who could use a hug or a hand to hold, even if that someone is still a stranger to him in many ways.
But the fact remains that Alan felt the need to carry out the gesture, and so he listened to that feeling and that need. Maybe he doesn't really understand her just yet, but just maybe he's already started to believe her.
When she finally speaks, he doesn't let go of her, but he doesn't tighten his grip too much either. ]
Bad things? [ He's trying his best to understand. This is all something he's never encountered before in his life, except for in nightmares. ] Bad things created from the darkness? Honestly, I'm just talking out of my ass here, but what else could make things like this happen? [ Maybe that's why he's latched onto her. She's seen firsthand what the darkness is capable of. ]
It's bigger than us. That's what I'm getting. [ What else could make people just disappear? What could turn ordinary people into these... these things? ]
What happened after? Did you ever get your brother back? [ That must be why she's here: she's looking for leads to help her find him. Maybe I can help with that too. ]
no subject
Jesse shakes her head. ] No. No. Not from darkness like these Taken things. We called them Dung Monkeys because that's how they looked. It... the thing that changed them wasn't anything like darkness. Not by how it looked, anyways. It wanted ... I think it wanted to be our mother. Turn us into it's children, or something.
This dark thing you keep talking about? It's not the only thing out there.
[ They called it the Not-Mother because that's what it was. Something that made the other kids drink a milk like substance and change them into their little ...monkeys. It's why they killed their teacher. Why the parents locked everything down. But her parents wouldn't listen. None of them would. Then... they all disappeared. Was it her fault? Had her wish in frustration made them disappear because of the Not-Mother?
Jesse looks up at his question. She finally turns her gaze up to him. The tears are gone but their traces are evident. ]
No.
[ It shows on her face as well--the time it's been. Nine years and she's no closer to understanding any of it. Other than the fact it was real and it happened. ]
Just me... moving from home to home. And, my friend.
no subject
[ Alan can't quite manage to keep the dry tone out of his voice. It's not Jesse's fault; it's no one's fault. ]
So there's more things out there that go bump in the night. Maybe not here, but- maybe they are here. Maybe something about this place draws them in.
[ Alan's not much of a fighter, or a fighter at all, really, given his focus on writing books, but his expression is more grim than it is fearful. That's not saying he isn't afraid, but he's trying to steel himself for worse things coming their way. ]
Well... [ He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and glances behind them briefly before turning back to her. ] You have at least one more friend now, if you'll have me.
no subject
« I really would seem crazy to him. Just like everyone else. »
Polaris disagrees, but Jesse still can't bring herself to do it.
Her eyes widen at his next statement. At first, she's not sure what to do or what to say. It's been so long since she's had a friend that isn't Polaris. She's still not sure he truly believes her either. He hasn't run away nor has he called her insane. There's just a part of her that can't seem to truly believe a famous writer like him would give her the time of day.
She forces herself to give him a small smile. It's the best she can do. Maybe being a writer makes it so he can read people easily. ]
You said you had to get to the old coal mine museum to meet a kidnapper. Right? [ While her tone is still filled with emotion, there is a lightness in it that wasn't there before. ] How fast do you need to be there?
[ Jesse is already glancing up at the light and then hesitantly taking a few steps out of it. The darkness is still heavy around them, but there's no sounds of shuffling Taken. She nods to herself before reaching up and taking one of his wrists.
« Any idea on which car is best to ride in? Can you help me find one? »
Polaris tugs her mind in a direction with a shimmer. Jesse immediately begins heading that way, gently guiding Alan along by his wrist. It's only a few steps down the street, so the lamp post is still in view if they need it.
The old jeep seems almost abandoned. Convenient. Jesse frowns at the idea before taking a quick look inside the driver window. It's unlocked. Even more convenient. She quietly opens the door, leaning inside and looking around the dashboard. Her hand goes to the visor at top and the keys slide out.
« This really is like a movie. »
She motions for Alan to take the passenger side. If they need to shoot, he's the one with the gun training. She slides into the old jeep and quietly closes the door behind her. The keys slide into the ignition and with a quick turn the jeep comes to life. She slides the backpack she wears off and puts it between them.
The police lights and cars begin to get closer.
Jesse puts the jeep in gear and pulls into the road. A moment later and they are leaving town for the woods. ]
All the pages I found are inside the backpack. In case you needed them.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)