[ He's latched onto the number of thirteen years because that's what everyone keeps telling him, but the truth of it all is that it does feel like it's been much longer. With all the loops and starting over at the beginning again and again, it could be twice that amount. But who knows, really? With time not being a fixed construct within the Dark Place, even Alan can't tell how long it's truly been. "Too long" seems to be the only answer.
He watches as Jesse moves to stand between him and Tim, feeling resignation fall over him like a cloak landing on his shoulders. If Tim's here, it's not just to say hello. ]
If I get out of here. [ He knows he needs to believe in it for himself, as Jesse keeps reminding him. But the path in front of him is long and winding, and winds back on itself, so he really has a hard time not doubting that what he wants will ever become reality. ] I figured. As much as I want you to stay, Jesse, you can't. Not forever.
[ He smiles a sad sort of smile when she protests, stating that she's not leaving. He watches how the gun in her hand moves as if responding to her upset. He knows that she'll argue and try to hold her ground, but the truth is, Tim's right. It's not safe for her here. It's not safe for Tim either, but Alan's still trying to find a way to send him home too. Somehow.
But just like that, Alan can sense the same thing Jesse's picking up on. Oh no... The darkness is stirring, rumbling, coming closer. Alan feels a spike of fear shoot through him. He really still is afraid of the dark even all these years later. He's terrified of the darkness carving him out again, pushing who he is down and burying him beneath dark waves. If it's going to happen, he doesn't want Jesse or Tim here to see it. Jesse's already seen it, but she doesn't need to see it again. Neither does Tim.
His expression having turned grim, Alan's gaze shifts to meet Tim's. He knows that truth; he's always known it. That doesn't mean he likes it, but there's no choice. No point in arguing. Jesse won't accept that, of course. ]
I know. You're right. He's right, Jesse. You... you have to go.
[ It hurts to have to say those words, and Alan feels his posture drop as his shoulders slide forward. He doesn't stop it, because while he could put on a brave face and look unbothered, it would be a lie. It's unavoidable; they have to go, but he hates it. He hates it with everything he has. ]
I'll see you again sometime. And I know I'll run into you again, Tim. [ He puts on the biggest smile that he can manage and forces himself to straighten up again. Now he has to put on that brave face, and he'll do it as best as he can. ]
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He watches as Jesse moves to stand between him and Tim, feeling resignation fall over him like a cloak landing on his shoulders. If Tim's here, it's not just to say hello. ]
If I get out of here. [ He knows he needs to believe in it for himself, as Jesse keeps reminding him. But the path in front of him is long and winding, and winds back on itself, so he really has a hard time not doubting that what he wants will ever become reality. ] I figured. As much as I want you to stay, Jesse, you can't. Not forever.
[ He smiles a sad sort of smile when she protests, stating that she's not leaving. He watches how the gun in her hand moves as if responding to her upset. He knows that she'll argue and try to hold her ground, but the truth is, Tim's right. It's not safe for her here. It's not safe for Tim either, but Alan's still trying to find a way to send him home too. Somehow.
But just like that, Alan can sense the same thing Jesse's picking up on. Oh no... The darkness is stirring, rumbling, coming closer. Alan feels a spike of fear shoot through him. He really still is afraid of the dark even all these years later. He's terrified of the darkness carving him out again, pushing who he is down and burying him beneath dark waves. If it's going to happen, he doesn't want Jesse or Tim here to see it. Jesse's already seen it, but she doesn't need to see it again. Neither does Tim.
His expression having turned grim, Alan's gaze shifts to meet Tim's. He knows that truth; he's always known it. That doesn't mean he likes it, but there's no choice. No point in arguing. Jesse won't accept that, of course. ]
I know. You're right. He's right, Jesse. You... you have to go.
[ It hurts to have to say those words, and Alan feels his posture drop as his shoulders slide forward. He doesn't stop it, because while he could put on a brave face and look unbothered, it would be a lie. It's unavoidable; they have to go, but he hates it. He hates it with everything he has. ]
I'll see you again sometime. And I know I'll run into you again, Tim. [ He puts on the biggest smile that he can manage and forces himself to straighten up again. Now he has to put on that brave face, and he'll do it as best as he can. ]