[ I've gone so deep. Deeper than before. Found ways to dive deeper. Sinking. Drowning. How do you swim up when everything is pulling you down?
The things that used to pull him back up don't work anymore, or at least, not as well. Jesse's touch could pull him back. Her calling to him could pull him up. But when the waves are crashing on the shore of his mind, the water soaking him and chilling his skin, he can't hear. Can't feel. Can't see. I'm drowning. I'm lost.
Home is an illusion. Their reality is an illusion too. What's real anymore? Is Parliament Tower looming over the darkened city real? Parliament Tower... why do I know that name? Alan's memories wash in and out with the tide; sometimes he remembers things from their reality, from home, and sometimes he doesn't.
Who is the woman with the red hair and green eyes that catch the light and flash brightly? I know her. She's important. Jesse Faden. You- you can't take her from me. The Dark Presence has taken so much, and Alan is terrified to even think about what will be left when it's done. If it's ever done. Maybe it won't stop until it's taken everything from him and he's no longer the man called Alan Wake.
The sheer horror of that is enough to jolt him, and when he does, he's greeted not by more horror, but the gentle feel of Jesse taking hold of his hand and sliding her fingers in between his. His shoulders drop as the built up tension fades, and his own fingers curl against hers.
Whether it's a return or a reunion, Alan knows one thing, and that's something the dark waves can't tear away from him. He's safe with Jesse. It might be only a feeling in his head, but he feels sheltered when he's with her. Secure. No one can break in and steal him away when she's here, at least not for good. His mind might wander, and he might sink, but he comes back. He returns because she calls him back.
His fingers curl further into her hand and he presses his forehead against hers a little more. It's not enough to be uncomfortable, and it's not going to knock either of them over, but he needs to feel. He doesn't want to lose this either. These feelings. Jesse. She's a part of his life now, even if that life isn't very much of one, not anymore. He wants to wake up next to her every morning and see her there every day. He wants to be there when she comes home at night.
But what good is dreaming when he's still trapped? Still, if all he can do is dream, then he wants to dream about that life with Jesse, even if it never becomes more than a dream.
He sees her pull the manuscript page closer, almost protectively. If she wants to keep it, it's probably safer with her anyway. She might lose it when- if the loop resets, but he has just as much chance of losing it in the Dark Place as she does of losing it to the loops. One of them might as well have it, anyway.
The clouds in his eyes seem to clear, and Jesse's small press pushing their foreheads together further grounds him. ]
Hi, Jesse. [ He manages to smile at her; it's small, and it doesn't quite negate the still scared look in his eyes, but it softens his haunted expression just a little. ] And... thank you.
[ For not giving up on him. For not letting him give up. For coming to find him. The list of things he wants to thank her for is quite long and would take more time than both of them have. ]
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The things that used to pull him back up don't work anymore, or at least, not as well. Jesse's touch could pull him back. Her calling to him could pull him up. But when the waves are crashing on the shore of his mind, the water soaking him and chilling his skin, he can't hear. Can't feel. Can't see. I'm drowning. I'm lost.
Home is an illusion. Their reality is an illusion too. What's real anymore? Is Parliament Tower looming over the darkened city real? Parliament Tower... why do I know that name? Alan's memories wash in and out with the tide; sometimes he remembers things from their reality, from home, and sometimes he doesn't.
Who is the woman with the red hair and green eyes that catch the light and flash brightly? I know her. She's important. Jesse Faden. You- you can't take her from me. The Dark Presence has taken so much, and Alan is terrified to even think about what will be left when it's done. If it's ever done. Maybe it won't stop until it's taken everything from him and he's no longer the man called Alan Wake.
The sheer horror of that is enough to jolt him, and when he does, he's greeted not by more horror, but the gentle feel of Jesse taking hold of his hand and sliding her fingers in between his. His shoulders drop as the built up tension fades, and his own fingers curl against hers.
Whether it's a return or a reunion, Alan knows one thing, and that's something the dark waves can't tear away from him. He's safe with Jesse. It might be only a feeling in his head, but he feels sheltered when he's with her. Secure. No one can break in and steal him away when she's here, at least not for good. His mind might wander, and he might sink, but he comes back. He returns because she calls him back.
His fingers curl further into her hand and he presses his forehead against hers a little more. It's not enough to be uncomfortable, and it's not going to knock either of them over, but he needs to feel. He doesn't want to lose this either. These feelings. Jesse. She's a part of his life now, even if that life isn't very much of one, not anymore. He wants to wake up next to her every morning and see her there every day. He wants to be there when she comes home at night.
But what good is dreaming when he's still trapped? Still, if all he can do is dream, then he wants to dream about that life with Jesse, even if it never becomes more than a dream.
He sees her pull the manuscript page closer, almost protectively. If she wants to keep it, it's probably safer with her anyway. She might lose it when- if the loop resets, but he has just as much chance of losing it in the Dark Place as she does of losing it to the loops. One of them might as well have it, anyway.
The clouds in his eyes seem to clear, and Jesse's small press pushing their foreheads together further grounds him. ]
Hi, Jesse. [ He manages to smile at her; it's small, and it doesn't quite negate the still scared look in his eyes, but it softens his haunted expression just a little. ] And... thank you.
[ For not giving up on him. For not letting him give up. For coming to find him. The list of things he wants to thank her for is quite long and would take more time than both of them have. ]