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synthneon2023-09-19 12:40 am
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-09-19 12:40 am
oceanview || ❝ hold hands with my demons and creatures of night. ❞
Someone who can hear me and drink from the light
To see things from the same side
Is there anybody out there?
no subject
But even though he tells himself it's nonsense, when he walks down the hall and stops in front of the women's bathroom, something prickles in the back of his mind. He tries the doorknob, but it's locked. He rattles it once, and then again, harder this time. It still doesn't budge.
There's no escape. I can't get out... I can't get out! Even those words don't sound right. Did he say them? Maybe he said them once, and then he scratched them out.
But either way, a locked door is never good. There's a thud sound as Alan's fist connects with the wooden door. He'd thought earlier that he might vent his frustrations with a wall, but this isn't how he imagined that going. Let me in. Out? In.
He raises his fist again, intending to strike the door harder. Maybe Jesse's in trouble in there and she can't answer. Or she simply can't hear him, in which case, he needs to get louder. But before fist can hit wood, he spots something from out of the corner of his eye.
Paper? A manuscript page!
Alan drops to one knee to pick up the page, and in the absence of anything sounding like screams or a fight from inside the room, he momentarily abandons his efforts to knock (pound) upon the door.
All Alan has to do is read the first two lines and he knows. ]
Oh... [ How many times had he done this? 5? 50? 500? Okay, maybe 500 was too much for this specific manuscript. Overall? Sure. 50 was a good number.
50 times of writing this, and rewriting it, and trying to get it right. Sometimes no one died. Sometimes Jesse- Faden, the Director, died. Other times, things just didn't work out how he thought they would. Lose the fat. Make it clear. Be clever.
Only, how clever was he really, when people died because of what he wrote? There's a crinkling sound as his grip on the paper tightens. He knows this page. In this attempt, number whatever out of 50, Faden died. Killed, to be precise. Scratch did it, and he laughed as he did. Laughed at Wake for not being able to write the ending.
The scene written on the page flashes into Alan's mind, and the paper crinkles even further as he forms a fist with his hand. Wake used the materials he had. The connections he had. The people. The places. Wake put them in to make it true. He sees a bathroom, and a redhead, and Scratch. Scratch is laughing. The floor is cracked.
The redhead is lying facedown. Not moving. Not anything.
She's dead. It's my fault he got out.
Alan grinds his teeth together. His thoughts still slip away from him too easily, too quickly, and he knows that in so many ways, he is still drowning in the pull of the Dark Place. But Scratch- Scratch must be stopped. He must stop him.
He's not a hero. He's not even much of a fighter. He failed and let Scratch escape. ]
I can fix this. [ It's one of the few sentences he's said with any kind of clarity since Anderson tried to question him for the first time. ] I'll fix this.
[ I'll catch up with you eventually! The words echo in his head, but this time, they're not just an echo of something from the past. He will catch him and put an end to this.
For now, though, he needs to find out if Jesse's all right. He doesn't pound on the door with as much force this time, but it's still loud enough to hopefully catch her attention. And unfortunately, to also catch the attention of the waitress. ]
Excuse me, sir, can I help you?
[ Well, crap. ]
no subject
She thought back on the events she just relived? Witnessed? It felt like Polaris had been... drained. Blocked? Something about the Darkness that double had made Polaris's signal weaker to send out. Almost like she was weaker to use.
« I really need to talk to Emily. How can Darkness block out resonance? I'm not really a scientist so that's definitely not my area. But, I have the feeling we need to know. »
Thud.
Jesse looks up from the floor again and around once more. Her eyes travel to herself in the mirror. Once again her reflection is... wrong. Well, not wrong, but not a reflection. Her other self in the mirror is in the outfit she had seen her mirror self wear in the one in the FBC--the one she had on when that double killed her. That's when she sees the blood running down her forehead and her temples. A dark spot seeps through the outfit where her heart should of been...
Jesse steps closer. It's not the weirdest thing she's seen but it's definitely one of them.
The not-mirror self pulls her hand from the surface of the mirror and then points to the door to the bathroom. The bathroom in the mirror is destroyed with every small detail that led to her fate that round. Jesse hesitates for the briefest moment before looking at the door on her end. Part of her braces for something horrible to come through like before. It doesn't matter that it's daytime. Not when the light is dim and can flicker at any moment. ]
Pu ekaw ot sdeen eh. [ Her not-mirror self speaks, but it's not that Jesse hears her really. It's more like... feeling the vibrations in her mind. Resonating like Polaris does. Is she really talking to herself...?
The not-mirror self raises her hand and slams against the surface of the mirror as if to make her desperate point. ] PU ekaw nala!
[ Suddenly, there is more banging. Knocking that she should of heard coming from the bathroom door. She glances to the door, then back at herself in the mirror. She looks desperate, and not just because of the blood rolling down her face. Desperate, and afraid, and worried. Herself lets out a scream of frustration and slams on the mirror once more as if she's not being heard. ]
PU EKAW NALA!
[ The not-mirror self doesn't so much shout as she cries out that time. Then, in a blink of an eye, the twisted face of Alan Wake shows up behind herself. He smirks and puts his hand on her shoulder. The resonating voice echoes in Jesse's mind.
In a blink of an eye, they're gone.
The bathroom is normal. The mirror is normal and so are the lights. Everything is the way it should be.
She hears the banging at the door again and her attention fully moves to it then. Jesse squares her shoulders, exhales, and forces herself to calm down. Her heart is still racing a million miles a minute while she unlocks the door and grabs the handle. Maybe seeing outside the room will calm her back down. She'll just... go about normal, have breakfast, get Alan back to the cabin, and then contact Emily. It sounds like a strong plan.
A plan that seems to die the moment it forms as she opens the door.
Her gaze first lands on Alan, then immediately to the waitress standing there and waiting. Her eyes dart to find Alan's hand raised. So, he was banging on the door. Why? Was it weird that she just got up and walked to the back? She knows what happened in it was weird, but, it shouldn't have been enough to get Alan to leave the booth.
Behind the waitress is Steve, aviators pulled up on top of his head, glancing between everyone at the whole situation. His eyebrows raise as if to ask the Director if she's alright, but he can tell by the look on her face it isn't. With a quick nod he clears his throat and interjects in the conversation. ]
Sorry, ma'am. She gets travel sick time to time and we're just worried how she was handling settling in. I'll get them back to their seats. [ Steve gently guides the waitress away from the two. ] I'll pay the extra if it disturbed any guests who are here to enjoy, what'd you call it, Deerfest...?
[ « And that's why he's my best ranger. »
Jesse immediately turns her attention back to Alan. She gently pushes him forward to be able to step out of the bathroom and close the door behind her. A brief moment passes. What should she say? Should she say anything? He's not really all there anyways. Would saying anything really matter?
She hasn't even noticed the manuscript page in his hand.
"PU EKAW NALA!"
The message resonates inside her, echoing, like if she had yelled down a large tunnel. The message needs to be passed on.
« Will it really matter if I pass it along? Maybe he's too far gone to hear it. It might not matter. That was... a different time, right? A different shift in reality. It might not matter now... »
The message still persists.
Jesse lifts her hand and places it on Alan's chest. Then, she pushes him up against the wall with just enough force for him to feel it's not just her. It's not just Polaris. It's an echo from another shift before this one she's standing in. How many shifts had their been--how long ago was it? ]
Alan. [ Her tone is stern and direct, low enough so no one else can hear. Her voice wavers. She's scared, despite her best attempts to hide it. Her fingers curl into the shirt he's wearing, but not enough to ball into a fist or push into the fabric further. Just enough pressure to try and get his attention. ] Alan.
Wake up. [ Does this even sound sane? Will he even understand what she's trying to say? ] You need to wake up.
[ "Pu ekaw t'nod uoy fi uoy evas t'nac I." ]
no subject
Something has shifted inside him, however, and he feels as though maybe some of the swirling darkness leftover from the Dark Place has faded. Maybe it's finally letting him go. Knowing that Steve has the waitress situation in hand (man, he really wishes he had money on him right now, cause he'd love to buy the guy the biggest stack of pancakes on the menu), he turns his focus back to Jesse.
The manuscript jogged his memory, in a way, and now he remembers that he'd written about her before, and more than once. Maybe the manuscripts were never completed, destined only to be written and revised until he was satisfied. But each time, there was a connection. Maybe he doesn't want to feel it. Alice is still out there, after all. He hasn't always been the most stand-up guy, and yet he knows that it would feel wrong to him to develop a connection with someone else when he's still married to his wife. But even so, he can't pretend there isn't a connection.
Still, even with the jolt to his memory from the manuscript, something still doesn't feel right. But it's hard to fix something when you don't even know what needs to be fixed. He could spend hours racking his brains trying to bring to mind whatever it is, or he could just wait and let it happen on its own. If it ever does.
His gaze is still on her even as he navigates his thoughts and tries to find some sense in them. Somehow, he can tell he's a little bit more lucid than he was previously, and so he intends to run with that. His eyes snap to hers when she places her hand upon his chest, and they widen when she pushes him against the wall. He opens his mouth to protest, but then he feels the resonance from her and Polaris, but- there's something else there too. ]
What are- What are you doing? [ There's a strange echo present, almost like a callback from another time, but he hasn't a clue what that means. Is it related to whatever happened in the bathroom? Why did she lock herself in there? ] Jesse.
[ Director. Faden. Proper titles that he should probably use, but he isn't because somehow, the name just slipped out like he'd used it before. But when? Where?
Alan. Wake up. His expression shifts into one of confusion, because he thought he was awake. Confused and uncertain as hell, but awake. ]
I'm trying to. [ Trying to navigate the darkness that still lingers that causes him to see things that aren't there, things that happened years ago now. ] I want to wake up.
no subject
« I've waited to come here. I waited until the time and date YOU sent to us. Now, I'm here, and I don't understand anything. You called to me, to US. Now it's all so, so screwed up. What went wrong? Did I do it? What was I supposed to do? »
『 It was powerful but it was coming from far away. And made weak because of the distance... Faden sensed a drowning man. A man desperate to escape. 』
She can hear the echo of that Hotline call in her mind crystal clear, as if she had just gotten it again. Was he rebroadcasting it? What went wrong?
『 Wake needed a hero. 』
« How can I help him?! Help all of us. We're stuck here until... until what? Forever? When does this AWE begin and when does it END? »
Jesse pushes against his chest again to ground him. Focus him. Make him listen to her. Polaris and she aren't invasive like the Hiss. It's a quite frequency that builds, and builds, and stretches out, and offers to help. A guiding star.
Jesse.
Had he called her by her first name before? Besides now, when they met this time. Face to face, not over the Hotline. ]
Alan, please--[ her voice wavers again as the fear is truly evident now. She's not afraid of him but for him; for all of them here in this hellhole of a altered world event, ]--you have to listen to me. You have to wake up.
I can't...
[ « I'm going to fail him just like I failed Dylan. Aren't I? »
A pressure comes from her hand as if Polaris is adding vibrations to every punctured word. A vibration that maybe, just maybe, can get through to him. Wherever he is, wherever he's drowning. A lake, behind that goddamn door in the Motel, in his own head. ]
I can't save you. Not if you don't wake up. So, please. Alan. Wake. Up.
no subject
It's happening again. Bright Falls, it's happening again. [ He hears a familiar echo of ringing inside his head: the ringing of a telephone. Calling the Director. Calling for a hero. Was he rebroadcasting?
...I need help.
It isn't the first time he's expressed the idea of needing someone to help him, but he doesn't remember if he's ever expressed it so directly, even in his own mind. She presses on his chest again and although it doesn't feel like a hard push the way a strong punch would, he gasps.
Alan, please... ]
I can't... [ What good is waking up going to do, when he can't do anything? ] What good is it if I write the things I see? It doesn't change anything. It never changes anything! [ He can't write themselves out of this, not when he barely knows what this entails.
Wake up! If he thought it would help, he'd punch himself in the side of the head in an effort to snap himself out of whatever this is. Jesse's voice sounds desperate, afraid, and he wants to help make her not afraid. It's his fault she's afraid; he wrote about her and put her in the crosshairs and hurt her somehow. Maybe not directly with his own hands, but he wrote it, so it might as well be. It's still a result of what he's written. He wants to help her, but how can he, when he's afraid too?
Alan. Wake. Up. He suddenly goes rigid, head snapping up from where it was threatening to fall and hang low. Eyes wide and more than a little wild, he stares at Jesse as though he's never seen her before. ]
no subject
[ She knows he may not understand the technical terms, but she hopes that he understands what she's saying. Bright Falls will happen again and again because that's the nature of it. But, they can stop it every time. He just needs to work with her! ]
It can change! You stopped it the last time it happened. You wrote the ending, didn't you?!
[ There is a pause and he suddenly snaps to attention. She thinks maybe she has finally gotten through to him after loop after loop. Maybe they finally did it this time. Except, it isn't really Alan Wake looking back at her then. It's not the double either. She's not sure who it is that is staring at her, but it's clear they have no idea who she is. ]
...Alan?
"You know, I thought I might be tired of this game by now. But, it's just so much fun!"
[ The voice sets a chill down her spine. In an instant, Jesse spins on the balls of her feet. Her hands point up with the Service Weapon materializing between them. She fires, and the Darkness ripples.
A familiar face with slicked back hair, trimmed beard, and slick suit steps out of the shadows. He brushes off the shoulder where the bullet would have hit. ]
"And, let me tell you why it's so fun, Miss Director. Because I get to find new and inventive ways EVERY time! Oh, MAN." Mr. Scratch slides his hands into his pocket and glances at Alan, clicking his teeth. "I'd uh, ring and tell him the good news, but you know the old saying. Lights are on and nobody is home! So, let's just cut to the chase and let the poor rat run in another circle."
DIRECTOR!
[ Jesse feels a familiar pressure against her back. She looks behind her, seeing Agent Steve Sevestapol behind her back-to-back. He nods, cycling the gun back in his hands. She glances to the side again.
Alan's gone.
Darkness swirls around them and somewhere in the distance she hears Agent Saga Anderson and Agent Alex Casey shouting for her. It's happening again. They're going to loop back. Its a different start this time, and Polaris doesn't even need to tell her. She just knows.
The FBI Agents finally join with the members of the FBC, making an odd square with their backs together. The laughter carries in the air and they all know this stand will be their last. ]