[ Alan knows that on some level, but if there really is no going back, then what is he supposed to do with himself? He's not a writer. He doesn't have connections. Alice has more than likely moved on, and he hopes that she did, simply because it's not fair to expect her to wait around for him. But then that begs the question of where he's going to live, what he's going to do, and how he's going to get by in a world he hardly knows how to be in anymore.
Why did Wake call Faden Director? Did he subconsciously recognize that he felt lost and needed direction? Wake frowned, because after all the things he had already made happen to her, it wasn't fair to saddle her with something else she hadn't asked for. No, Wake thought that he needed to find his own direction, and he couldn't ask Faden for help.
A part of him wants to ask Jesse for help, at least in the sense of giving him something to do. He has no career, not anymore. Could he possibly find a job within the Bureau? That feels like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, but maybe he could be a janitor cleaning floors at night. That's safe, isn't it? He can't cause a crisis of reality with a mop.
Something in his mind rebels at the thought of trying to put a plan in place for his future. There's so much he needs to figure out: living and work arrangements are just part of it. What happened to his bank accounts? Does he even have any assets anymore? The thought of all the things he needs to work out makes him want to run. Except running isn't a viable option, not here in the real world. ]
I don't- It's probably not safe for her to meet me. [ I won't be the reason she gets put in harm's way again. And there's no "where" for me to go to. ]
Yes. Yeah, I want to know that. If you want to tell me.
[ He has to push down the urge to recoil when she holds out her hand. She isn't going to hurt him, or come at him with an axe or knife or any of the other things he's been threatened with before. But it takes a monumental effort on his part to return the gesture, extending his own hand beneath hers. ]
I- It sounds familiar. She sounds familiar. [ There's so many things running around in circles in his mind that it's difficult to zero in on specific things he's written about, but this feels familiar somehow. ] What is that? That resonance. What does it do?
[ It snapped him out of his psychobabble, but he figures that's not what it's meant for. ]
no subject
Why did Wake call Faden Director? Did he subconsciously recognize that he felt lost and needed direction? Wake frowned, because after all the things he had already made happen to her, it wasn't fair to saddle her with something else she hadn't asked for. No, Wake thought that he needed to find his own direction, and he couldn't ask Faden for help.
A part of him wants to ask Jesse for help, at least in the sense of giving him something to do. He has no career, not anymore. Could he possibly find a job within the Bureau? That feels like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, but maybe he could be a janitor cleaning floors at night. That's safe, isn't it? He can't cause a crisis of reality with a mop.
Something in his mind rebels at the thought of trying to put a plan in place for his future. There's so much he needs to figure out: living and work arrangements are just part of it. What happened to his bank accounts? Does he even have any assets anymore? The thought of all the things he needs to work out makes him want to run. Except running isn't a viable option, not here in the real world. ]
I don't- It's probably not safe for her to meet me. [ I won't be the reason she gets put in harm's way again. And there's no "where" for me to go to. ]
Yes. Yeah, I want to know that. If you want to tell me.
[ He has to push down the urge to recoil when she holds out her hand. She isn't going to hurt him, or come at him with an axe or knife or any of the other things he's been threatened with before. But it takes a monumental effort on his part to return the gesture, extending his own hand beneath hers. ]
I- It sounds familiar. She sounds familiar. [ There's so many things running around in circles in his mind that it's difficult to zero in on specific things he's written about, but this feels familiar somehow. ] What is that? That resonance. What does it do?
[ It snapped him out of his psychobabble, but he figures that's not what it's meant for. ]