synthneon | bloody tears || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

[ She will most certainly ask for his aid in opinion on where she might hide such a precious thing, as well as the contraption used for their protection. What she may think as hidden could be very well obvious to a Knight who is searching the grounds for heretical material. He has the insight of a soldier after all. No doubt he has been trained to notice things that others would not think to see or hear. ]

I-I don't think they would realize, o-or even know. N-nothing about me must seem like I am one... I think... I-I know Miqo'tes are rare in Ishgard, b-but... [ her ears fold down to her head as she frowns slightly. Has she already drawn attention to herself by those around her? Or, have they dismissed her because of the man who has taken her in? ] I hid in a cave to manage them. I was never... never in a city like this.

[ She nods to his repeat of her words. Lantaa briefly glances down before giving a small exhale. Then, she leans forward to gently kiss the pair of holes that remain the scars of what changed him. She doubts he wishes to explain or even relive the experience. Yet, if she is to truly understand his condition and the position it places him in with his peers? She feels she ought to know. How else can she properly be his lady? ]

How did it happen? [ One hand moves from behind his neck to gently brush her fingers over the scars. ] I had wondered when I first saw them. Given the placement, your attacker must have come from the front. When one would think they would be on the neck or shoulder.

[ A thought springs to mind then that seems to come from somewhere far away and long ago, but it feels every bit as familiar now as it did the first time that he thought it: he wishes to serve her, to meet every need and request that she might have. Of course, they are partners and a pair, but partners help each other, and that is what he wishes to do for her. His parents were the same way: working together but also helping each other with anything the other needed.

If he can do that for her, then he will find himself very fulfilled indeed. ]

Ah. Of course, I wondered if you might ask. [ He does not mind that she did ask, nor does he mind giving an answer. It is not something he wishes to remember, but he has no interest in withholding anything from her. ]

I do not recall all the details myself, but the parts that I missed were filled in for me by others. So far as I can tell, the individual was not in search of any particular person to feed from. Our paths crossed, and he was seemingly feeling particularly ravenous, and I was a convenient target. [ And he was in a somewhat destructive mood, at least in Aymeric's mind. Of course, he did not seek out his attacker to understand why he did what he did, but it seems to him that he was looking for some trouble to cause or someone to harm. ]

I only have guesses as to his mindset and his motivation, but I- [ He hesitates as if wondering whether or not to share his suspicions on this matter. While he is mulling things over, he gives an involuntary shiver in response to her fingers brushing against the scars. They are healed over, of course, but he still responds in certain ways when they are touched or brushed against. ]

[ Perhaps her parents had been the same way: aiding one another and supporting when they needed to. She has no true memories of such things, but given all that her parents sacrificed in the attempt to save her and her sister? She imagines it was difficult for them to separate and possibly never see one another again. Could she part with her only one in such a way now that they have found one another?

A frown touches her face at his first remark. Should she not have asked?

However, he begins explaining what he remembers of the event. Nothing of the attack seemed premeditated then. It was simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and being burdened with such an existence. Had his attacker meant to turn Aymeric? Or, had it been a side effect that they had not expected
?

She gently nudges his collarbone once more. ]

Do... do you know who it was? Or, is your maker faceless?

[ If only he could have met her parents, and she could have met his. He would have liked to have met them, and even more, he would have liked to introduce her parents to her. Regardless, he is certain that while his parents might be surprised, they would understand upon speaking with her and getting to know her. Just the thought of his parents welcoming her into the family is enough to cause him to smile, even just a little.

As for the events of his attack, it seems that it may not have been premeditated, but he has not yet explained everything he knows or what information he has gathered since it occurred. Naturally, he could not have dug too deep without arousing suspicion, but he did manage to learn some pieces of information.

His smile remains but it appears sadder and a little strained as he continues speaking. ]

I do know who it was. Or rather, the organization to which he belongs. I do not know his name, but if I had more information, I could possibly narrow it down if I wished to.

[ He still wrestles with that, but for the moment, he has decided that he does not wish to find out. ]

The organization...?

[ In one brief question, it is rather obvious she knows little of the structure of Ishgard. She is aware of the Steelsky Manufacturers, the Astrologians, and the Temple Knights. She is aware of the Church and that it is led by the Archbishop, but beyond such basic factors? There is so very much she is unaware of. The difference in class is quite obvious too, but... ]

No one has come forward to admit it? No one has bothered to take ownership of changing the life of a Lord? [ The tail tucked around them bristles slightly. Then again, she cannot say she has heard any speak of what happened to her village, when it was the knights responsible for it... ] Are you so unconsidered now that you are what you are?

[ How cruel. If he had not inherited such a lovely home and staff? She would suggest they simply leave. If his fellows care so little for him, how can he care for his city in the ways he does? Such things could be past her understanding as she was not raised with the attachment of a people or place. At least, not past a young age.

She wonders if his parents would have accepted her. If hers would have understood why she chose Aymeric, regardless if he is a voidsent. Although, the truth is they chose each other long ago. ]

Are there that many voidsent present in Ishgard that are overlooked, or simply ignored for their deeds because of their organizations?

Yes, the organization. You see, there are the Temple Knights, but there is also a force of- highly skilled knights that work very closely with... With the Archbishop.

[ He shakes his head. ] For what purpose would they come forward? I may be a lord, but only a lesser one and of no great status. And, after all, there are many lords. [ He is fairly certain he would not be missed for long if he simply disappeared for whatever reason. Perhaps there would be the usual show and ceremony for a Temple Knight, but perhaps there wouldn't at the same time. ] It is not entirely the people's fault that I am unconsidered.

[ He withdrew considerably from interactions with others, choosing instead to keep to himself because that seemed the wisest course of action. Naturally, he still cares very much for Ishgard and the people, as it is still his home, but the separation felt necessary. ]

I suppose that depends upon how you define ignored. [ There are different kinds of voidsent, so far as their motivations are concerned. He will explain more of what he means if she inquires further. ]

[ Lantaa tilts her head ever so slightly at how he almost stumbles with his words. Do Ishgardians fear their Archbishop? Should the leader of their church and their nation be feared? The fact she is so ignorant of it all is becoming more and more apparent the more he continues. ]

Aren't all lords important?

[ She frowns slightly, clearly confused on how one with a title would be more disregarded than others. Especially if he is still expected to appear and fulfill duties with the title. She will need to ask the head maid and steward when he leaves for a detailed history lesson it seems. The head of the Astrologians hails from Sharlayan and seems to be little concerned with the history of the city that both strangers call home.]

How I define "ignored"? You are disregarded in public. People refuse to look at you, or when they do, it is as unfriendly as they seem to be able to muster. They treat you as if you're a blight or some sort of necessary evil.

[ Oh, if only he could tell her. He wishes to lay everything bare, but what would she think if he did? Would she judge him? Ostracize him for being who he is and the circumstances of his birth? He isn't sure what he fears more, being judged for being a voidsent or for the latter.

To answer her question, he merely gives her a sad sort of smile. He does not feel important, not in the grand scheme of things. ]

Are they wrong to do so? Are voidsent not a blight? [ He can't help the notes of bitterness in his voice as he asks those questions. ] I'm certain many see us as only a necessary evil, and when voidsent are no longer necessary... [ He imagines they could be wiped out. ]

[ How could she ostracize him when he has not done the same to her? He has accepted her with open arms despite the fact she is what she is. He should have every reason to smite her down. A white mage, one who knows of some arcane that is considered heretical by the Church, and having the companionship of a creature that is very much otherworldly. Everything taught in traditions from what she can tell says he should do away with her, and instead he has opened his life to her.

She tilts her head properly this time, eyebrows drawn, a frown tugging at the corners of her lips. ]

A necessary evil to what ends? From all that I know of Ishgard, a pact to allow voidsent should have never been made. You should have never been changed. [ Her other hand slips from around his neck to cup the side of his face. She guides him to be closer to her so that their conversation can be hushed with none others to hear it. ] You are not a blight. A hunger drives you, and a need to eat, but it is not all that consumes you. You love Ishgard. You care for your fellow, even if they do not return it... a-and you love me. All of you loves me.

[ Lantaa gently nudges her nose to the side of his in comfort. ] Something troubles you beyond what you have been changed into it. There is something else that has hurt you deeply, isn't there? Would--would you be willing to tell me? Or, is it not for me to know?

[ He wishes he could say that everything he has done is because of a purely altruistic feeling, but that would not be the case. Aside from the fact that they have known each other for so very long over so many different lives, in this life, he is so very lonely, and so he opened himself and his life to her with very little hesitation. She may be a white mage, and thus she is considered unwanted and a heretic, but she is the one he loves.

And beyond that, he needs her more than he realized at first. ]

To fight in this war, and then when we are no longer useful... who knows? [ His expression seems to fall even further at her words concerning the pact that was made. ] Perhaps not, but I believe it was done out of desperation and need.

[ He does not resist when her hand cups his face or when she guides him closer to her. Her closeness and her willingness to even be that close to him touches him somehow, and he intends to commit this all to memory. ] How could I not? Ishgard is my home, and you- I love you.

[ He repeats those words, as if to ensure that both of them know it. ]

Everything that I know, I would share with you. I have no reason to hide anything.

[ But he knows that he only has conjecture and nothing concrete to base his suppositions upon. Regardless, he intends to start with what is true, so far as he knows. ]

Would it surprise you if I said that the man who is my father, but not the one who raised me, is none other than the Archbishop? [ He keeps his tone hushed, although there is none presently here to overhear them. He would not take the chance of prying ears learning the truth, however. ]

Edited 2023-03-23 08:07 (UTC)

[ She too is so very lonely. It feels almost by design their lives are in such ways. How else would they have accepted their ancient bond so readily and easily in this life? They should be more cautious and suspicious due to it, and yet, they instead have instantly opened up to one another and trusted each secrets to one another without hesitation. ]

...is the war truly this dire? [ Her expression falls as his does, with her ears tucking to her head. Has Ishgard truly begun to lose the war? ] If they plan to be rid of you? Then, we should run away together. Bring your staff if needed. We will find somewhere else to be where they can't harm you.

[ Her gaze softens as he states his love so plainly for her. A certain sparkle is there, so very pleased that he loves her as he does. The expression only warms as he reveals the secret that weighs down on him so.

The Archbishop's son. A bastard son, then? How else would he be raised by another family and have taken on their name and inheritance. Oh, her poor knight. A lord settled with two things his society frowns upon. It is no wonder then why he hides himself away so very much as one issue compounds the other.

Both of her hands now cup his face. ]

Surprise me? Yes, my love, it does. However, that changes nothing for me.

[ Lantaa leans forward only by a fraction to press herself against him. Then, she brushes his lips once before kissing him fully. They truly are outcasts and unwanted by many. She resolves, then, that it means they must need one another the most. Her tail curls around his leg more.and begins to brush the sensitive skin there. ]

You are my one and only in all lives. My love and knight. If he so carelessly threw you away to others who would take you in and raise you as their own? Then, I simply will need to love you more to fill the hole left there. [ She brushes her lips over his. ] If he cares so little for how you hurt, and suffer, and turns a blind eye to it? Then, I will simply need to care for you and heal you that much more.

[ He would do just about anything to ensure that she is never lonely or scared again, and he means to do what he can to make that a reality. They complete each other, and they belong together, and he does not wish to abandon her or leave her wanting for more. ]

Perhaps not. It has gone on for so long now that it is difficult to even see an end to the fighting. Who knows what may happen when it finally reaches a conclusion, to whatever end? Either the victory is ours, or it is not. Either way, your guess is as good as mine as far as what my fate and the fate of others like me will be.

[ He pauses, taken slightly by surprise because of her suggestion. ] Would you truly flee with me?

[ He does not much like the idea of causing her to uproot herself once more, but he cannot help but wonder if it might be dangerous for them to remain here.

Still, he would go anywhere with her and be content simply because of her presence and because of the chance to love her. ]

Nothing? It changes nothing at all?

[ He finds himself somewhat surprised even though he has no reason to doubt her words. When she presses herself against him, he leans into her just slightly, relaxing once more when she kisses him. They are so very alike, given their needs and their respective statuses within the society in which they live. ]

He could have done worse by me. He did not have to see me given to another family at all. [ He could have been consigned to an orphanage, or done away with entirely, given his illegitimacy and the scandal that having such a son would cause. ]

I would not ask you to shoulder this alongside me. [ She has already done so much for him, and he does not wish to saddle her with more. ]

[ She, in turn, wishes she could do everything to keep him from being lonely or melancholy ever again. The idea however is so very unrealistic. She cannot keep him from his feelings nor what the greater society of his citystate presses upon him. He ha sbeen born and raised Ishgardian, and certain mannerisms and standards will always be present. ]

Why... why do you even fight this war? [ Her nose scrunches up slightly. ] I have never understood. No one has ever told me the reason. Master Matoya would shrug off the question, saying that it was merely something that the Ishgardians had been doing for hundreds of years. Vali--Estinien was never keen on sharing the information either. All he cared for was a way to end the war...

[ Lantaa glances to the side. Her fellow Miqo'te learning under Master Matoya cared little for it so long as it did not interfere with her work.

Her mind snaps from the wondering as soon as he asks his question. Her eyes dart back to his and she smiles widely at him. In her mind it is a silly question, but it is a question he has nonetheless. ]

Of course I would flee with you. Wherever you wish to be, Aymeric, my knight, is where I will follow. Somewhere far away or the home inherited by those who truly did love you. Whichever you wish to make your home is where I wish to be as well... because in the end, it is with you.

[ Then, a shake of her head. ] Nothing at all.

[ Lantaa guides him to rest his head against her shoulder. She feels as if he truly needs the comfort in this moment. He suppresses so very much of himself--vampire and lord--that she wonders if he ever might be free of it all. If only for mere moments like this when they are together. She tilts her head to kiss his forehead and thread her fingers in his hair. ]

I suppose. [ Her tone suggests she is not sure she agrees, but , does not press the matter further. Perhaps if she were to ever see the Archbishop and gauge his person she might change her mind. ] I am your pair, Aymeric. A-and... y-your lady. Should I not help shoulder all burdens?

[ Perhaps his own wishes for her are every bit as unrealistic. But in a world in which everything was under his control, he knows he would strive to protect her and save her from the harsh realities of life. Still, he intends to do the best he can, and he is certain she intends the same. ]

Sometimes I feel as though even we do not know. This war has gone on for so long now, I cannot help but wonder if even those who were present at its beginning would recall the reasons for it now. Time can muddle details, after all. Who was it that cast the first proverbial blow? Man or dragon?

[ He shakes his head, because he does not have that answer. The depictions in Ishgardian history might point one way, but he believes that there are two sides to every problem, and this war cannot be immune to that. ]

That means more to me than I can hope to express, Lantaa. [ He leans in so he can brush his nose against the side of her face as she has done for him several times now. ] I am... Well, I am quite undeserving.

[ When she guides him to rest against her shoulder, he does not resist. To be comforted like this is something of a rarity, and thus he intends to relish the feeling for as long as he can, even if something inside him feels selfish for doing so. ]

I must admit that I am not privy to his thoughts concerning me and my existence. All I have is mere speculation. [ And his speculation could well be inaccurate. ]

Of course, but then I will endeavor to repay you in kind, as that is only right, as your pair and your- [ To call himself her lord feels incredibly prideful, but he is uncertain what word to use in its stead. ] As your partner.

From stories I hear, it was dragons... but...

[ How true is that statement? As a survivor of her own people's destruction, she is certain there are details she is unaware of. Why were her people attacked unprovoked? Had they truly done something? Or, was it merely because of who they were, and the fact that the voidsent had been summoned through another ancient war and it is a hold over from such events? All of it is difficult to say.

A smile tugs at her face at the return of the affectionate gesture. She makes certain to show her smile to him, and how despite the conversation, there is no fear or worry in her expression. ]

You are more than deserving in any life. [ She gently nudges the top of his head as he rests his head to her shoulder. ] If he never reached out to you, how do you know you are his son?

[ He is her lord. Perhaps that is something that can only be reflected by marriage, but, he already is in her mind. ]

You have helped carry more of mine than you realize, Aymeric.

Then it seems that we have heard similar stories. But one must wonder as to the truth of those stories. [ He knows well enough that there is no easy answer to the question of the veracity of the stories, but he still cannot help but wonder.

And if he were thinking about it at the moment, he would wonder what it was about Alkaid and her people that lead to the attacks against them. If he could right those wrongs, he would do so without question. There are so many things he wishes he could change and fix if only he had the power.

Her smile brings a wide one to his own face, and he reaches for the closest part of her that he can reach, which turns out to be the bottom of her hair. He lightly twines a finger in the strands but does not pull. ]

A part of me argues differently, but perhaps I shall choose to not listen. [ He has done his best to be unassuming, unnoticed, and certainly not grasping for too much of anything. ] One may learn by simply listening and by being in the right places at the right times. There are always rumors swirling about, and certain individuals lack the- control, I suppose, needed to keep silent.

So, of course, he has not confirmed it to me with his own voice and words, but the sources seem believable enough.

[ Or maybe he only wants them to be. Either way, he chooses to believe them for now. He would ask if he truly has helped, but he contents himself by beginning to lightly stroke the strands of her hair beneath his fingers instead. ]

They are the stories they would say in villages, or, from what Master Matoya would say. [ Her ears give a twitch. ] Have... have you and your parents always wondered if the stories were inaccurate?

[ The truth of the matter is that dragons seem to hate mortals--those of Corethas in particular. Perhaps what started the war is not as important as ending it. Or, it may be the key to ending it. Lantaa truthfully only cares to it in the degree of which it affects her knight. She is not Ishgardian nor is it her burden to bare. All she cares for is the man in her arms. ]

Your parents didn't tell you? [ An odd thing to consider. Perhaps it was too damaging for appearances or succession? It all seems so complicated. ] I doubt you could simply ask him as well... therefore all that truly matters in the end is that you are a Borel, yes? This home your parents left that we will fix, and the ideals they left to you.

[ One hand gently raises to be around his wrist in her hair. Then, she guides him to further move into the strands to play with it further. Stroke, brush, whatever may fit his fancy. The motions are calming and lead her to rest her cheek against his head. ]

If my parents did, they never spoke of it. But I was always rather curious, and so I could not help but think about it and wonder what the truth really was. [ He smiles somewhat shyly. ] I seem to recall coming up with some wild tales, as difficult as that may be for you to believe.

[ He was youthful once, although still somewhat serious-minded. And truthfully, he would rather think back those times when things were simpler than they are now. ]

They told me that they had adopted me, and that my father was someone important, but not much more than that. [ He reasoned that either his father did not want the truth being told, or that his parents sought to protect him for one reason or another.

But he shrugs and goes on to say: ] You are quite correct that that is what truly matters. My parents cared for me, and I did the same for them. [ And that is why he sincerely wishes to see their home restored, and in that way, he might continue to honor their memories.

He smiles once again when she guides his hand further into her hair, and encouraged by her action, he strokes it slowly, feeling himself grow calmer as he does. ]

Wild tales from my Ser Aymeric? [ Lantaa feigns surprise, eyes widen and a fake gasp coming from her. ] With how reserved you are, it surely would be a surprise to many. [ Then, she smiles and gently nudges the top of his head.

His childhood must have been something far more interesting and magical than her own. Perhaps growing up in his later years knowing he was a bastard son dampened such things, but, surely it was better than her own. A cave offers little contact with others or little desire of the world outside when one knows how cruel the world is.

The fact he is older than her has not escaped her notice. While she has yet to ask how old he is, as she is certain his nature of a voidsent would lock him into a certain physical age. It is quite obvious she is younger than him by a handful of years. She wonders then if he looks at her younger age as something youthful or naive, or perhaps even childish? Surely, there are things she ought to know, and surely those things must seem obvious.

Her gaze drifts to the side as her mind begins to run away with the thoughts. So much so, that her head tilts to rub her cheek into his hair and closing her eyes once his hand moves further into her hair. Her shoulders relax and her whole person seems to almost melt against him. ]

I owe them a great debt. Without their care and love, I may have never found...

Truth be told, I am not sure where such imagination came from, or where it has since gone. [ He laughs quietly at the attempt at self-deprecating humor. ] It is safe to say that I am not half so amusing these days.

[ And now that his words have sunk in, and the recollection that she has not had a very happy life sinks in as well, he chastises himself. It was quite unkind of him to talk about his childhood, knowing that her own must have been quite hard indeed.

He looks at her with an apology in his gaze even as he notes how she appears to relax in response to his touch. Naturally, that means that he must continue, and continue he does, stroking her hair and occasionally twining a finger again through a strand of hair.

Perhaps it is the comforting feeling of this moment, but he feels as though he could fall into a doze once more with her still holding onto him. But before either of them can, he asks: ]

You may never have found..?

[ He waits for a moment or two, waiting for an answer, but when he glances down at her, it becomes apparent an answer is not coming, as she has seemingly drifted off herself. With nothing more to do himself, he allows his own eyes to close and he begins to doze.

It is not until several hours later that a slight commotion at the door and the sounds of someone knocking breaks through the haze of sleep and he begins to stir. ]

Perhaps it is something we might find together then. [ She smiles and her tail sways against his leg slightly at the idea. ] We cannot have humorless lord in Ishgard when the rest is so dreary.

[ His apologetic look is simply met with a beaming smile. While her childhood may not have been good? The fact that his has been well means far more to her. It is best that one of them had a good childhood instead of both of their lives being so upsetting.

I may have never found you.

She answers him, but perhaps she merely thinks it as opposed to answering him out loud. She has drifted off as he notes, from merely him playing with her hair. How long has it been since someone brushed her hair? The notion alone is calming, but the fact he is the one doing it is what truly puts her at ease.

Her beloved.

The commotion doesn't stir her. She instead has moved more into his arms as she has slept, curling her tail around her, and her ears twitching. She curls against him further once the door has been answered. Moments later footsteps come to their door. Then, a gentle knock follows. Lantaa rolls to her side, hiding her face in his chest, but continues to sleep. ]

[ He is not typically one to lie about when there are things to be done or people apparently wishing to be seen, but he is so very comfortable in this moment and content to simply lie there with her in his hold that he remains still and with his eyes closed. Perhaps whoever has come will wait, or take their leave and return later.

When she hides her face, even while half-asleep, he reaches for her ear and gives it a sleepy stroke. If they could simply remain like this for a little while longer, he would have no complaints.

But the knock sounds once more, and Aymeric's only response is a slight frown. If the waking world would only wait... ]

[ Her ear gives a gentle twitch before she relaxes entirely against him even as she continues to sleep. A gentle whine comes from her in protest of waking at all. As such, she simply returns to sleep.

The knock once more gently happens before an older voice comes through: ] Ser Aymeric? Apologies, ser, but you have company...

[ The words register in his still sleeping mind, and slowly and very reluctantly, he stirs. He does so with care, so as not to disturb Lantaa, but it seems that the time for rest has ended. However, he may be able to move without waking her, and so she can sleep on.

He moves slowly, hoping to slide from the bed and away from her, although that is the last thing that he wants, eyes fixed on her, looking for any signs that he has disturbed her.

If he can manage it, he intends to cross from the bed to the door, speak with the steward, and then make himself presentable for whoever has come to visit.

As luck would have it, she remains asleep, and so he does what he needs to before leaving their room and going to speak with their visitors. He finishes exchanging the token pleasantries with Reid (because Estinien does a good job of appearing uninterested) when he hears the door behind him open and he turns slightly to glance at it. ]

(cont here)

bloody tears || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

AU PLOTLINE

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