[ Lantaa would admit that she had no dreams of the future herself. One day Master Matoya would return, and she would simply fall back into the role of student. She could never leave the cave and feel that she was not being hunted. Then again, she still fears that the moment she steps out of the cave the men in armor and capes will be waiting with their weapons pointed at her. Such fear keeps one from truly dreaming and more... wishing that she might find the one that was hers. That by some chance, he might walk into the cave for some wish for her to grant, and she might be finally free of her self-made prison.
Her eyes widen ever so slightly at the realization that this moment could be that very wish. That perhaps, somehow, by granting the Azure Dragoon's wish, he brought her the one person that could grant her own. She shifts to press her entire person against him. The hand stilled on his face moves once more, this time into his hair to brush it away from his face. Her hazed gaze seems alert then, piercing into his own, as if to ask if he truly would take her away.
It's you... you're him. But, would you... do you wish to be with me now? In this life?
His question blindsides her. No one has asked such a thing outside the woman and other Miqo'te who took her in. All that come to the small cave seek for their own fulfillment. None ask what she desires. They curse her price she names, regret their wish, and hold grudges. The only time they return is to settle the payment and leave her where they found her. Each time a small piece of Lantaa feels chipped away for she could not even make those who asked wishes of her happy. Instead, she retreated under the mask they all thought her to be, waiting for Master Matoya to return so she might hide away from the world. It seemed that the world truly did not want her.
Tears gather in her eyes that remain hazed. Despite that, as he has yet to break the orders, Lantaa's own gaze pushes through. She begins to s hake once more as does her hand buried in his hair. ]
I want... [ Her own tone once more shines through as the tears in her eyes start to slip down her face. ] I want somewhere to be home... s-somewhere I can be me. S-someone to take me away... w-where they can't find me again... s-someone to...
[ Lantaa tilts her head into the bed beneath them. Her fingers tangle in his hair as the other rests back on his jawbone. Once more her eyebrows knit as she knows she must continue to answer him. ]
My someone.
[ More tears gather and slip down her face. They are her feelings, even if they feel so very old. A new fear strikes her then. What if he has yet to realize what she has? What if he only sees her as a comfort because all others have turned him away? Her heart wishes to cry out that it is her, and beg him to realize it, but her own mind once more tries to cage the feeling. It is not rational, nor is it possible.
Somehow, perhaps due to his complement, those feelings seem to push past the trauma she has endured in this life. Lantaa gently guides his head forward to rest his forehead to hers, hoping that he might see her through the state she asked him to place her in. She hopes that he can see her past his own walls and fortifications. Her out of all the other souls he may have met. ]
I'm here, but I can't leave... I can't force myself to... [ She whispers it, almost as if she can speak it on her own in such a manner. ] Y-you've found me. It's me....
[ She straightens her shoulders as another fear strikes into her, leaving a wound on her heart. What if he cannot recognize her anymore? Either through rebirth or what he had been turned into this life. Or, perhaps, she is far too damaged and unable to be the person he loved. Lantaa's eyebrows knit as her lip trembles at the thoughts and fears trying to cage her once more and keep her as she has been: withdrawn and a self made prisoner of her cave.
She shakes still with the longing and fear return to her gaze despite the blue hue attempting to remain prominent in her eyes. There is a sense of helplessness inside her that grows as the fear grabs ahold of her just as it had moments ago.
Her voice remains a whisper even as the fear starts to claw its way into her tone: ]
no subject
[ Lantaa would admit that she had no dreams of the future herself. One day Master Matoya would return, and she would simply fall back into the role of student. She could never leave the cave and feel that she was not being hunted. Then again, she still fears that the moment she steps out of the cave the men in armor and capes will be waiting with their weapons pointed at her. Such fear keeps one from truly dreaming and more... wishing that she might find the one that was hers. That by some chance, he might walk into the cave for some wish for her to grant, and she might be finally free of her self-made prison.
Her eyes widen ever so slightly at the realization that this moment could be that very wish. That perhaps, somehow, by granting the Azure Dragoon's wish, he brought her the one person that could grant her own. She shifts to press her entire person against him. The hand stilled on his face moves once more, this time into his hair to brush it away from his face. Her hazed gaze seems alert then, piercing into his own, as if to ask if he truly would take her away.
It's you... you're him. But, would you... do you wish to be with me now? In this life?
His question blindsides her. No one has asked such a thing outside the woman and other Miqo'te who took her in. All that come to the small cave seek for their own fulfillment. None ask what she desires. They curse her price she names, regret their wish, and hold grudges. The only time they return is to settle the payment and leave her where they found her. Each time a small piece of Lantaa feels chipped away for she could not even make those who asked wishes of her happy. Instead, she retreated under the mask they all thought her to be, waiting for Master Matoya to return so she might hide away from the world. It seemed that the world truly did not want her.
Tears gather in her eyes that remain hazed. Despite that, as he has yet to break the orders, Lantaa's own gaze pushes through. She begins to s hake once more as does her hand buried in his hair. ]
I want... [ Her own tone once more shines through as the tears in her eyes start to slip down her face. ] I want somewhere to be home... s-somewhere I can be me. S-someone to take me away... w-where they can't find me again... s-someone to...
[ Lantaa tilts her head into the bed beneath them. Her fingers tangle in his hair as the other rests back on his jawbone. Once more her eyebrows knit as she knows she must continue to answer him. ]
My someone.
[ More tears gather and slip down her face. They are her feelings, even if they feel so very old. A new fear strikes her then. What if he has yet to realize what she has? What if he only sees her as a comfort because all others have turned him away? Her heart wishes to cry out that it is her, and beg him to realize it, but her own mind once more tries to cage the feeling. It is not rational, nor is it possible.
Somehow, perhaps due to his complement, those feelings seem to push past the trauma she has endured in this life. Lantaa gently guides his head forward to rest his forehead to hers, hoping that he might see her through the state she asked him to place her in. She hopes that he can see her past his own walls and fortifications. Her out of all the other souls he may have met. ]
I'm here, but I can't leave... I can't force myself to... [ She whispers it, almost as if she can speak it on her own in such a manner. ] Y-you've found me. It's me....
[ She straightens her shoulders as another fear strikes into her, leaving a wound on her heart. What if he cannot recognize her anymore? Either through rebirth or what he had been turned into this life. Or, perhaps, she is far too damaged and unable to be the person he loved. Lantaa's eyebrows knit as her lip trembles at the thoughts and fears trying to cage her once more and keep her as she has been: withdrawn and a self made prisoner of her cave.
She shakes still with the longing and fear return to her gaze despite the blue hue attempting to remain prominent in her eyes. There is a sense of helplessness inside her that grows as the fear grabs ahold of her just as it had moments ago.
Her voice remains a whisper even as the fear starts to claw its way into her tone: ]
...can you not see me anymore?