[ In so many ways, this feels almost like a fever dream that his mind conjured up for him. Once, he might have dreamt about meeting someone like her, and he has admitted to himself that he has felt incomplete, as if something is missing. But then he was turned into who he is now, and it felt as though all of his dreams for the future died that day.
Could she be the one he was meant to find? Is it possible for them to belong together? He has no answers to those questions, even though he has not yet begun searching inside himself for them.
Truthfully, what he desires is to hear her answer for herself without him using his powers of persuasion upon her. That is why he has somewhat relaxed his efforts in hopes of hearing what her true thoughts and feelings are. After all, it is not love if she is forced to answer against her will. Neither is it right if he forces her to stay if she would rather leave. He knows very little of such things, but if they are to be together, then he wishes for it to be genuine, not forced.
A small voice in his mind contradicts him, saying that he is only bringing to the surface what she has left unsaid, but he still fears that what he is doing is forcing her to say what he wants to hear and not what she truly wishes to say.
When her hand leaves his chest to move to his cheek, he does not move either, but he feels a slight stab of disappointment. She is still touching him, of course, but he rather liked the sensation of her fingers tracing along his sensitive skin. Many thought that those like him were not sensitive at all and could not truly appreciate being touched or giving touches in return. That is not the case.
But before he can say anything more, he notes the way her tone changes and he hears the familiar tone of one who is being compelled. Yet another stab in his heart is felt then, as if he feels disappointed in himself for relying upon these methods. In so many ways, he feels as if he is the disgrace, the disappointment... and certainly the unwanted, as many have turned away from him in the past.
But already he has an answer to her questions, and it is as genuine as it is possible to be. ]
It is not what I would have you do for me, but rather what I would have you do for yourself. Do you have any wants or needs? I would see those fulfilled.
no subject
Could she be the one he was meant to find? Is it possible for them to belong together? He has no answers to those questions, even though he has not yet begun searching inside himself for them.
Truthfully, what he desires is to hear her answer for herself without him using his powers of persuasion upon her. That is why he has somewhat relaxed his efforts in hopes of hearing what her true thoughts and feelings are. After all, it is not love if she is forced to answer against her will. Neither is it right if he forces her to stay if she would rather leave. He knows very little of such things, but if they are to be together, then he wishes for it to be genuine, not forced.
A small voice in his mind contradicts him, saying that he is only bringing to the surface what she has left unsaid, but he still fears that what he is doing is forcing her to say what he wants to hear and not what she truly wishes to say.
When her hand leaves his chest to move to his cheek, he does not move either, but he feels a slight stab of disappointment. She is still touching him, of course, but he rather liked the sensation of her fingers tracing along his sensitive skin. Many thought that those like him were not sensitive at all and could not truly appreciate being touched or giving touches in return. That is not the case.
But before he can say anything more, he notes the way her tone changes and he hears the familiar tone of one who is being compelled. Yet another stab in his heart is felt then, as if he feels disappointed in himself for relying upon these methods. In so many ways, he feels as if he is the disgrace, the disappointment... and certainly the unwanted, as many have turned away from him in the past.
But already he has an answer to her questions, and it is as genuine as it is possible to be. ]
It is not what I would have you do for me, but rather what I would have you do for yourself. Do you have any wants or needs? I would see those fulfilled.