synthneon | FF PSL | ❝ two-toned echoes tumbling through time. ❞

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FF PSL | ❝ two-toned echoes tumbling through time. ❞

song of hope

BOOK 3: TWO-TONED ECHOES

One brings shadow, one brings light
To this riddle all souls are tied
Brief our moments, brazen and bright
Forged in fury, tempered in iceCODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[ If it was in his power to see to it that no one bothered her with orders or with requests from people needing her assistance, he would do so without a second's hesitation. It is all too clear to him that she needs to rest, and what is more, she has earned a rest, a very long one.

Perhaps he might use what influence he has to give her a reprieve, knowing that it could never be long enough, but even a short one is better than none at all. ]

Yes, of course. [ His smile returns, and it is as warm and gentle as always, especially when he is looking at her. ] To both things, but if you are too tired for the latter, I can manage on my own.

[ He might even insist on helping her with her own attire. ]

[ Alkaid nods once more. Once he has his own meal, she begins eating her own. While she can certainly taste the meal? She feels so very far removed from it all. An odd sort of numbness takes her and she is not certain how to remove it or feel in touch with herself once more. Perhaps all she needs is sleep.

Dinner passes along quietly. Once completed, Alkaid slowly stands to move the cart to the side after collecting the dishes. Then, she turns back to Aymeric. Her hands move to help him from his armor, only fumbling as the exhaustion is evident on her. That hardly stops her from aiding him with it all, as she refuses to let what happened on the First keep her from tending to the man she considers her foundation.

With all armor and merely his undershirt remaining, Alkaid stands in front of him. Her ears tilt to her head and she twists her fingers. Should she ask for help in removing her own? She is capable of it, of course, but it is quite obvious how he wishes to care for her. Underneath the white robes that mimic those of white mages of eld is garb that was created for the Warrior of Darkness. Blacks, greys, purples and golds, with blue gems on the boots. Not to mention the robe itself gives way to reveal her legs.

It dawns on her then that perhaps the outfit would be too revealing for Ishgardian customs, and then, perhaps it might be offensive in some nature. She frowns, closing her eyes. The tail that normally sways curls up along her leg underneath the white robes he can see. Everything about her person feels so foreign, and she cannot help but worry that in the end he will not see her as his Lantaa anymore. ]

... m-my nightgowns, are they in the same place as before? [ Her voice is barely above a whisper as she feels part of her curl in on herself once more. Nothing of her feels like her, and she's not quite certain how to feel as herself again. ] Or...

[ Or were they moved to keep you from feeling my absence? ]

[ For him, there is no turning off the worry that he feels for her, and he knows that his concern shows itself plainly in his gaze even as he watches her. He does not mean to stare, and yet he finds himself unable to refrain from glancing at her every now and then.

Eventually, they finish their dinner and move on to preparing for sleep. She assists with removing his armor, and when her hands fumble, he is quick to assist as best as he can. For him, it is very obvious that he intends to care for her, and that extends to assisting her with removing her own attire. With that in mind, he gives the sleeve of her robes a light tug as if asking if she minds if he assists.

At her question, he nods. ] They are, in a manner of speaking. I took the liberty of making room for your articles of clothing next to mine. [ He had to shift some things around, of course, but he wished to make room for her belongings as well. Perhaps in time, he might obtain a wardrobe for her own things, but a part of him likes the notion of seeing her clothes hanging beside his. ]

I do hope that that is all right with you.

You did?

[ The question is immediate and her tone filled with surprise. The emotion is not directed at him, but clearly at herself and the thoughts in her own mind. Of course, he would have moved them in expecting Lantaa to return home. She's not certain she is even the same woman he fell in love with... and in the end he may turn her away outright.

Still, she nods at the tug on the sleeve. She excuses herself for only a moment to grab the first nightgown of hers she sees. She selfishly prefers to sleep in his shirts, but, that was allowed for how she was before the First. Before her and her sister's souls were broken and healed back together. Before her hair was turned forever a lighter shade and her eye turned the color of the man who shared the same color of soul as theirs...

« You won't know for sure until he sees. So, go on then. You can stare down monsters and creatures from other worlds. This can't be that hard. Not after all those glowing stories K'thisru gave about this knight. »

Alkaid's hands curl slightly into the nightgown as she hears that familiar voice in her mind. She must have pulled him away from K'thisru with her own emotional state. There is a pang of guilt that strikes her then before she crosses over back to Aymeric. She places the nightgown beside him.

Then, she raises her hand to gesture how to untie the white robes. She moves with his direction, slipping out of the robes to reveal the garb created for her as the Warrior of Darkness. She shifts her weight from hip to hip, her fingers raising to begin to twist one another. Her ears tip down again and her tail further curls under the opening of her robes. Despite Ardbert's reassurances, she can't imagine it would be received well. ]

I did indeed. I hope that you do not mind, and that my decision to do so meets with your approval. This house is now your home as well, and I see no reason why you should not have your own space to store your things. [ He made room beside his own belongings in order to place hers there, and the action seemed right to him at the time.

If only he knew that she wished to sleep in one of his shirts. He would gladly give her free rein to choose whichever one she wished to wear.

Her lengthy pause gives him pause as well, and his eyebrows draw together in concern. But before he can ask if something is amiss, she points to how to untie the robes, and once that is done, she slips out of them entirely, revealing a set of attire he has not seen before.

He is surprised, yes, but he sees no reason why the sight before him ought to upset him. Naturally, the colors are a bit different from what he recalls seeing her wear previously, but he imagines there is a reason for this. ]

Ah... Trying out a different look? [ He wonders to himself if her time away and everything she experienced in that time led to this change. ] Would you like my assistance in removing these pieces as well?

[ She smiles fondly at his decision, clearly approving, even if the smile does not reach her face fully as it might usually. For some reason, she had thought that he might wish to keep things separate--a space for himself where she does not occupy. Perhaps her time at the First has caused her to misconceptionalize much more than she thought. ]

N-no, they made it for me, on the First. [ She lightly picks at the embellishments on the sleeve. Her tail remains curled up in the folds of the open skirt, attempting to silence the doubt her mind gives. ] They wanted to thank their heroes, a-and made something for Thisru and I. The Warriors of Darkness.

[ Her gaze shifts to the side. ] The balance of aether shifted... it was so charged with light... you could feel it. [ Or, at least, she and Y'shtola could.] There was so much that e-everything was bathed in eternal daylight... t-they hadn't seen the night sky in a hundred years... s-so when Thisru and I worked to rebalance everything, we...

[ She gestures to her outfit. The Warriors of Darkness, heroes to the First. ]

Edited 2022-06-23 18:00 (UTC)

[ He sees the way her smile does not entirely reach her eyes, but he understands why it might not. Her time on the First has changed her, and while she is still the woman he loves (a fact that has not changed nor will it), he knows full well that there are some things that do not heal easily or at all. ]

It seems to me that the people who call the First home are quite kind and gracious indeed. [ Not to mention resilient and strong in their own way. ]

I can scarcely imagine what you speak of, but one thing I do know: you and K'thisru faced challenges that most would shy away from or refer to as insurmountable. The two of you came out on top, so it is no surprise to me that you earned the admiration of the people there.

[ Privately, he muses if it all was worth the toll that it took on both Alkaid and her sister, but in a way, he already knows the answer. ]

You are heroes to them and to those of us on this star.

... at what cost?

[ Her gaze falls entirely to the floor then. Fingers dig into the black and gray colored coat, picking at threads that have gone loose in battle. How many people has she been able to save? Or course, one healer cannot save them all, regardless of her strength in white magic. The knowledge and fact is hardly a comfort as she has seen so many of Eorzea fall, Haurchefaunt, and now so many people on the First. Lives saved and souls saved to be reborn in the aetheric sea, and yet, she feels as if she is no hero at all. In fact, she rather feels as if she merely is a cutout of their beloved Warrior of Light. While inside is not hollow, she cannot help but wonder how much more of Lantaa Pahsh will be stripped away for the heroic Warrior of Light.

Alkaid's shoulders curl upwards and her hands ball into tight fists. She can feel the short nails push against the skin, but is not enough go break or damage it. The near crippling loneliness she felt on the First returns like a tidal wave, and she the rock that it breaks against. The tears well under her closed eyes and she does not let them fall. Aymeric surely must be tired of seeing her cry now. ]

How much of me must be lost... h-how much more of myself am I expected to sacrifice for it all? [ Her voice breaks despite her best attempts. A sad sound forces it's way from her throat. Gods, no. Please. She does not need to cry in front of him again. ] I...

[ I never wanted to be a hero. I never wanted this life.

Her hands begin to shake once more, yet she reaches out for him. They share the same space, but he feels so far away. She only wants to go home. Home is him, with him, and the city he loves so very much.

Why will the First not relenquish it's hold on her? Why can she not put it all behind her as she had with so many other things? She had seen death before, and malformed beings. So, why...

Alkaid takes the half step needed to be in front of him. Then, unceremoniously, she crumbles to her knees. Her forehead rests against his knees as she refuses to let the sob that builds in her out. ]

I missed you... so much... [ Surely the parting only hurt her this deeply. Aymeric is stronger than her and he always has been. Especially now, in this moment. He is her foundation, and yet she is falling to pieces in front of him. ] My knight who can always find me... a-and care for me... and I couldn't even write a letter to you as I had before. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...

[ She inhales, trying her damnedest not to cry. ] I don't want to be a Warrior of Darkness, or of Light. I don't want to be a Scion... I only want to be your wife... at your side. T-they keep taking me away: all of them. Until I'm ... I'm...

[ Only a hero; their mend to fix the world. Their soldier. Their weapon. ]

You deserve so much more than me... whatever of me they haven't taken away...

Edited 2022-06-26 10:58 (UTC)

[ His heart aches to see her so distraught, knowing there is little he can do but speak comforting words and offer equally comforting touches, if she will accept them. Once again, he feels as though his efforts are not good enough, that he cannot truly help her. Perhaps another healer might be able to, but he is more a soldier and a would-be leader than anything else.

His words feel so inadequate in the face of her worries and her sadness. What can he say that would ease the weight she is carrying? For once, his ability to weave words together has failed him. And the very moment that she drops to her knees, he is quick to bend over just slightly, being mindful of how her head now rests against his knees. He wraps his long arms around her and pulls her in as close as he can given her position on the floor. ]

I will not allow them to take any more from you than they already have. Lantaa, in my eyes, you are still you: Lantaa Pahsh, lady of my house, and the only one I have ever loved.

[ He retains his hold upon her but he squares his shoulders in a resolute posture. ]

I will fight anyone who tries to take you away, in every possible meaning of those words.

[ Her place is here with him, and as for the other meaning, whether or not he believes that she is still very much herself, if she believes bits and pieces of her identity are being taken away, he will fight to prevent that from continuing, regardless of the cost.

And in the interest of comforting her, he reaches for her ear to give it a series of calming strokes. ]

They will never take you away from me, as long as I still draw breath.

[ What might a healer do for her? Give comforting words and soothing her? Alkaid finds she does not need such things. What she needs is what he offers, his arms wrapped around her and pulling her into his protective hold. She leans into him entirely, practically melting into him. She shakes, but, the touches to her ear do seem to calm her.

A gentle cry comes from her at his words. There is so much she wishes to say in return so that he knows his words have not fallen on deaf ears. The words will not come, no matter how much she wills otherwise. Instead, she reaches for his hand and places it where the ties for the back of the robes sit. She leans her head into his hand at her ear. ]

I'm sorry... I don't know why... I shouldn't be like this.

[ She is a Warrior of Light, do they not rise above traumas and embody the path forward for others? If so, then why is she still like this? Even K'thisru has handled it all so much better..

Alkaid closes her eyes. ]

You protect the most important thing that no one else could. [ My heart. ] I should be stronger... better than this for you. My knight who has waited so long for me to come home... a-and I...

[ I feel broken and as if I can't be put back together. ]

[ Almost instinctively, his hold on her tightens, not to the point of discomfort, but just to emphasize that he is here and he intends to do whatever he has to in order to protect her. The cry that escapes her causes his heart to twist inside him, and again, he worries that he has not and cannot truly help her with what she needs.

But he will not place yet another burden upon her, not when she already has so many that she carries. He lets her move his hand as she wills, and when she places it against the ties of her robes, he takes one of them in his hand but does not pull on it just yet. ]

I believe that I do. And more importantly, why should you not be like this? Why should you not feel what you are feeling?

[ With his other hand, he moves it to lightly hold onto hers. ]

If you are not feeling strong, then allow me to be your strength.

[ He leans in then so that he might place a kiss, light but loving, upon her cheek. ]

And as far as I am concerned, you are better as you are. You do not have to be anything but what and who you are, Lantaa, my dearest.

[ If only she knew what she needed to free her mind from these thoughts. Then, she could tell him, and resolve the fear in his heart. He does so much for her that none else can. Had it not been for his love and her sister by her side? Emet-Selch would have truly won.

Regardless, she curls further into his hold so as little space remains between them. Her gaze immediately jumps to his, searching for an answer to her own statements. At his question, she frowns, and the ear not in his hand presses to her head. ]

B-because I'm a Warrior of Light... and Darkness... and Hydaelyn's Chosen... a-and the Champion of Eorzea. E-everyone counts on Thisru and I. W-we're the heroes, we shouldn't be ...

[ Alkaid lowers her gaze as a shameful look crosses her face. ]

BrokenI.

[ Reason tells her otherwise. Surely the events of the First have bothered her sister just as deeply. Ardbert broke as well under the weight and shame of it all. They were all beaten and battered down by the full force and cunning of the Ascian. Yet... K'thisru and she are meant to rise up when others can't and lead the way. How can she do that when her mind traps her as it does?

Alkaid's hand tightens around his and her head tilts her cheek into his kiss. ]

You already are, my love. I... I could not do any of this without you.

[ Her ear perks up at the use of his love name for her. Her heart gives a strong beat and red takes her cheeks then. Alkaid curls slightly, only so her head might rest on his collar bone beneath the under armor he still wears. ]

[ If only he could put into words everything that he feels and everything he wishes he could tell her in hopes that it would bring her some measure of ease and comfort. Not for the first time, he feels woefully ill-equipped for this, and yet his heart desperately wishes to ease away everything that hurts her. ]

Did you not tell me once that beneath all of my titles and responsibilities, I am still very much a man? You, Lantaa, are an extraordinary woman, and yet beneath all those titles and all your honors, you are still a woman, a person with needs and hurts that need to be soothed and comforted.

[ And if she is broken, then he must do what he can to help her pick up the pieces once more. After all, she has done so for him more than once. ]

And you will never have to, for I am resolved to remain by your side always. [ Or for as long as she will have him. His hold on her cannot be any firmer yet still gentle than it already is, but he wishes to just reinforce the idea that she is safe and protected and not alone. He tilts his head downwards so that his chin might lightly rest against the top of her head. ]

If there is anything more that you need, or anything that I might do for you, you only have to name it. [ He already considers himself at her disposal, and he wants to make that clear now in case there was any doubt. ]

[ Her eyes close only partially as she listens to him speak. Of course, he is far from wrong. His ability to see her and her sister beyond being the Warriors of Light was one of the initial things that endeared her so much to him. Now, she sees it as something vital to their relationship. He can reach past the walls and barriers that have been constructed around her by endless titles and still find her.

Her cheek rubs against his collar bone. Anything that she might need? If only she knew where to start. After a moment, her head tilts upwards so she might look him in the eyes proper. ]

Help me ready for bed?

[ Alkaid dislikes how soft her tone is, how pathetic she must sound. She can manage on her own, of course, but there is something soothing in the idea of him undoing her ponytail and braids and seeing to the garments that belong to the Warrior of Darkness. It takes another moment before she pushes herself on her shaking legs to stand. Then, she turns so her back is to him so he might be able to undo the laces of her gown. ]

[ He knows by now that he would do the same to anyone who was in a position like that of the two sisters. And while his opportunities to speak with K'thisru have not been as many as he would like, he has always resolved to try and look for the real her, the one beneath the titles and expectations.

At the moment, he contents himself with being this close to her, to being able to hold her and touch her and be touched in return. ]

Of course. I would do anything for you.

[ To him, she does not sound pathetic at all. She sounds like the woman that he loves dearly and would do anything for, including putting his own safety on the line should that prove necessary.

For now, that is not the case, as he is certain he can manage undoing her garments without any harm coming to him. The slight tongue-in-cheek nature of that thought causes him to smile just a little bit, but he is quick to turn his focus to the laces on her gown.

As he works, he tries to think of what they might speak about as he goes about his task. ]

... Tell me something that you have not told me before. Perhaps something about yourself, or something you observed in all your travels. I would hear of it, whatever it might be.

[ She nearly asks if he would run away with her; far away from all that troubles them. The truth of such a request would be that he is unable to, and such she does not choose to trouble his mind with it. Instead, her gaze drops to her fingers at his question as he begins to undo the laces on her gown.

Something she has never told him? There are so many things...

Her gaze settles on the engagement ring that only leaves her finger when she bathes or sees to caring for it. The look in her eyes softens before her eyes close once more. Perhaps that might be worth telling him. Something so that he may better understand her and why their promise of marriage matters so very much to her. Other than the notion that perhaps, in a life untouched by primals, they had been together. In a world before it was pulled apart at the seams and sundered. He might find that notion ridiculous; a wish that a young kitten had in hopes there was someone just for her. ]

Thisru and I left our clan younger than most Miqo'tes, I think. We parted ways after a carriage ride. She remained in Limsa to train as an arcanist, and then I made my way to Gridania. Both places are far from one another--as you know--and further from our clan. Given that... I spent quite a few Starlight Celebrations on my own. [ She gently twists the ring on her finger. ] Not that I was without anyone around me. There were the others of the Adventurer Guild, and then those of the Conjurer Guild. However, most of their families lived within the Shroud and would visit... or they would travel to their families.

I didn't want to go back to our clan. I feared the endless nagging of questions of when I would return home and stay home. I knew my mother would not relent until I did and took up my place and duty in the clan... waiting until another nuhn overthrew my father, or was called as a second leader. Then, he would father the next .... and I'm certain my mother would be thrilled to see it, but...

[ Alkaid curls the hand with the engagement ring to her breast and holds it there. Her tail sways slightly before her ears fold down entirely and her shoulders curl. She's told him, of course, how she had wanted her own mate. Now, however, it feels as if it is a secret that if uttered might turn him away. She shuts her eyes then and cradles her hands to her chin. ]

I didn't want my children to grow up like Thisru and I had. I didn't want them put between bickering parties for social standing or be told their siblings were not worth their time. [ She feels fresh tears roll down her face once more and curses herself inwardly for it. ] I thought that perhaps I might meet an adventurer that I could run away to a far part of the world and start a family with. But, I learned most adventurers don't have such goals or wishes in mind. They live for the thrill, not it simply being a way to achieve something else.

[ Her tail quickly flicks side to side before stilling. What else was there to be other than join the Scions when they offered? It was a way to do more, see more, help more people than she could if she were to remain in Gridania. She never thought it would lead to the things she had seen and done with her sister. ]

So... it became a habit that on Starlight Eve, I would make my way to the largest decorated tree that the Adventurer's Guild could find. Then--[ she curls up further, as if attempting to hide what she is about to say. ] I would look up to the stars... a-and wonder if someone else did the same, looking for me.

[ Alkaid pauses for a long moment and attempts to stifle the small sound attempting to make its way from her. ] I-I'm sorry, you probably want to hear something happier--you can pretend I said nothing and I'll think of something else...

[ Oh, he would jump at the chance to run away with her. But the part of him that is bound by his duties and obligations would continue to trouble him even as he prepared to do so, and would more than likely not let up as they went on their way. He is not in a position to abandon his responsibilities, no matter how much he wishes he could simply be with her as an ordinary man and an adventurer, no less.

The laces are not so many that he cannot manage them, but neither is he rushing through the steps of readying her for bed. While he works, he waits for her response, waiting to hear the sound of her voice that he has come to love so much.

When it finally comes, he falls silent, waiting to hear what she would say. She has spoken of her clan and the way that things work within Miqo'te society, but it is all very new to him, and he would be the first to admit that he does not know very much about how things function within different societies such as the one she came from.

His gaze softens at the knowledge that she and her sister parted ways, at least for a time, and that she found herself without a companion during several Starlight Celebrations. If he had known her then, he knows he would have loved to attend with her so that neither of them would be alone. But, he reasons, depending upon how long ago it was when her travels began, he may well have been one of the Temple Knights. Perhaps he would have been stationed elsewhere and not been able to participate in the traditional festivities in Ishgard or anywhere else. Certainly the Knights did not travel far beyond their borders, so such a thought is a silly one at best. ]

You told me of this once before, how you did not wish to follow that particular clan tradition. It must have been difficult for you, distancing yourself from it and from your family as well. [ He cannot help but smile at the line of thinking his mind has taken, because as far as he is concerned, she is his family, and they will have children of their own, whether through adoption or natural means. ]

I am sure that you are far too kind-hearted to put any children of yours in such a situation. I do not mean offense when I say that it does not seem to be an ideal situation for children or for the mothers who raise them. [ Although he is positioned behind her so that he can work on unlacing her dress, something in her voice tells him that she is experiencing no small amount of distress because of her recollections.

He reaches forward intending to rest his hand upon one of hers, hoping to offer her comfort while she continues speaking. ]

I must admit that although I did not seek out the largest of trees from our own celebrations in Ishgard, I did find myself spending at least a little time looking at the stars and wondering something similar to the thoughts you had.

[ He shakes his head once, and he lightly curls his fingers around hers. ]

I asked to hear something I had not heard before, whether happy or sad, because I- Well, I must admit that I rather like hearing you speak.

[ It is just another thing that he files away within his mind to keep him company while she is away on her various adventures, but truthfully, he simply enjoys speaking with her and hearing what she might say about any given subject. ]

I'm certain I'm far more of a disappointment, rather than being upset at the distance. [ Her tone is still soft, her ears pressed to her head, tail still and curled around her. ] I missed Thisru the most. Sometimes I would miss my father, even my mother, but... it was my sister I wondered the most of. We exchanged letters, of course, and kept in contact. But, I missed having her beside me... and looking after her.

[ She merely nods to his thoughts regarding the situation in which she grew up in. Her hand curls tightly around his, holding it to her breast. Of course, she knows she will need to let go in order to finish moving out of her robes. Yet, she finds she does not want to let go of him for any reason. Instead, she turns to face him, raising one hand to brush the tears from her face. ]

I m-may not have caught your eye as just a conjurer... not even a white mage. [ A sad smile touches her face then, looking down at the floor. After all, they met because she is a Warrior of Light. Nothing else would have most likely caused their paths to eventually converge as they have. ] I was always skilled at healing arts, but, I doubt I would have stood out against the astrologians of Ishgard at the time.

[ She squeezes his hand one last time before letting go of it--only so that she may start slipping out of the robes she wears. Alkaid pauses once she steps out of the robes, realizing she still wears her boots and garter belts. She blushes, despite the tear streaks, shifting side-to-side. Had she felt more like her regular confident self? She would have turned it into a tease or at least something seductive. Instead, she feels as if who she usually is has been stripped away and she's left trying to be who they all might expect her to be. ]

I-I hope it's not too much...

For what little it might be worth, you shall never be a disappointment to me. How could you, when you are one of the bravest souls that I have had the pleasure of meeting? And what is more, not only are you brave, but you are kind and good and more than I could have ever hoped for. All the gods that are known to exist have surely blessed me, and you are more than I deserve. [ All of that to say that if her family sees her as a disappointment, in his eyes, she is anything but. She is the one he loves and wishes to keep at his side as long as she wishes to be there. ]

I suppose I must ask a question in that case. Would you and your sister prefer it if your places of residence were closer to each other? [ Ishgard is not exactly centrally located, and while he does not know where K'thisru intends to settle down, if either sister expressed an interest in moving closer to each other, he would certainly oblige. What remains of the household staff could maintain the manor in his absence, and he would certainly visit often to see to his affairs. ]

Even if you were merely an adventurer who wandered the worlds freely and as she willed, I believe you would have still caught my eye. [ Are they not destined to be together, after all? ] As famed as Ishgard's astrologians are, they are not you. I understand that my own feelings towards you may well cloud my judgment, but you shine brighter than all of them combined.

[ The moment she steps out of her robes and her boots and garter belts are revealed, his gaze travels to them and his eyebrows lift with surprise. ]

You look beautiful in anything and everything that you choose to wear. [ And although it is not the clothing he is accustomed to, he loves to see her different outfits and how she might look when he sees her next. ]

You are the most beautiful, if there was ever any doubt.

[ It takes all of her will to not curl over onto him and try to disappear into his arms. She is more than he deserves? Even in her present state? Alkaid cannot begin to fathom how, but his words strike home regardless. Despite the tears and curled poster, a particular shine is in her eyes. One that says she truly does understand and love him with her entire being.

If only she felt as if she could truly express it. ]

N-no, Aymeric, please. The manor is fine. [ She shakes her head, ponytail bouncing side-to-side with the free strands brushing along her cheeks. ] I ... I don't think Thisru has ever thought to settle down anywhere. If anything? She needs a place to stay and call home. O-one that is offered to her, on the other hand...

[ Her ears raise slightly at what he says next. Alkaid stands in place, feeling the importance of each word wash over her. Her hands shake lightly underneath the fabric of her robes that she holds in front of her. After a long moment, Alkaid drops the robes to the floor and takes a timid half-step towards him. Her eyes move to her belts and boots. ]

I'm... I'm truly not all everyone thinks me to be. I'm... [ broken, terrified, hurt, and lost. ] I...

[ A moment passes before her shaking hands reach for his once more. Her fingers brush along his before she guides them to rest against the places he will need to be to undo the belts. Her hand stay atop his as she desperately tries to muster a lighter comment, a tease, a flirt. Something that seems more like the woman he knows. Instead, all that comes to mind is the fear that she might never be the person he can so clearly see. ]

I only want to be your lady. E-even if I'm... even if I... I can't be the woman you fell in love with.

[ She flinches then, as if finally saying the words out loud struck her in some manner. A few more tears stream down her face before she utters yet another apology. Aymeric has insisted otherwise, but she cannot shake the fear that he might ask her to leave if she cannot recover. The fear, deep down, that Emet-Selch managed to take away their relationship by breaking her. ]

[ There are times when she reacts in such a way that causes him to wonder if he is truly of any help to her at all. All that he has to give are comforting words and gestures, and he has begun to wonder whether those are enough. Is he truly helping her sort through the things that trouble her, or is he merely humoring himself into believing that he is? ]

My only desire, Lantaa, is to ensure your happiness and well-being, and that extends to your sister as well. If a life in Ishgard is not what you desire, I would not force it upon you. Instead, I will move mountains if I must to ensure that the pair of you have a home that suits you and is in line with your desires.

[ He can at least do that much, even if he finds himself at a loss for how best to help her with her thornier issues, the ones that will not be uprooted so easily. ]

You are yourself and that is all I could ever hope for and dream of. But if you will allow me to assist you, I would want for nothing else. You have been through a great many trials and I can see the effect they have had on you. What might I do to ease your hurts?

[ Affirmation of his love and desire to be married to her, of course. And so he reiterates that very thing: ] No matter what happens, and no matter how many trials you must go through, you are my lady and the one I wish to live out the rest of my days with. That has not, nor will it, changed.

I want to stay here, in Ishgard, with you!

[ She is aware that the outburst is very unlike her, but something deep inside demands that she make him aware of this. Her hands suddenly clamp down around his where the belts begin, ears pressed to her head, and eyes narrowed. Despite all her efforts, her lower lip trembles. ]

I don't wish to be anywhere else--not if it means leaving you behind. Al they do is ask of Thisru and I, ask and ask, pushing us so far! They don't consider the strain or the pain we endure... except Thisru is the strong one. The one they should truly call the Warrior of Light. No matter what, she pushes on, and carries on, while. I... I'm the one who broke... and they don't think a thing of it...

[ Her gaze falls to the floor in between them, a frown settled deep on her face. What might he do to ease her hurts? He does enough--more than enough--already to do that. Yet, there is one thing that she wishes to ask of him. One thing that is so incredibly unrealistic and they both are very much aware of it. Her forehead rests to his and her eyes close. Even knowing it, she cannot help the words coming out: ]

...don't let them take me away again.

[ At her outburst, something inside him recoils, although his expression remains as impassive as ever. It is something he has learned to do, both to protect himself and to keep others from assuming the worst about him. But inwardly, something inside him seems to bleed: not only for himself, but now for her and her sister.

Long as he thought that too much has been asked and required of them, and he has seen the proof of the wounds they have taken. The longer she speaks, he finds himself shaking his head with each word. ]

YYou are strong. You and your sister both are the strongest individuals that I know. After all, you carry so much... so much that we have unfairly placed upon you, and still you keep pressing forward. Yes, you press forward as well, Lantaa. You are every bit the Warrior of Light, and you are-

[ His voice falters as his emotions begin to spiral slightly out of his control, threatening to shatter the impassive expression he customarily wears. ]

I will not, no matter what reprisals may come my way. [ Their hands are already tightly clasped, but he curls his fingers further around hers as if to emphasize that he will not be letting her go, nor will he allow anyone to take her from him. ]

If I must speak to the Scions on your behalf and inform them that you will be staying, then I will.

[ If she had only known something in him had hurt at her out burst, she would apologize immediately. Her intention is never to hurt him. Even if she feels as if she is broken on the inside, made into something not herself? She never wishes him to hurt on her behalf. Especially if she is unable to properly explain what has hurt her so.

Her eyebrows draw together at the rare show of the emotions beneath the stoic mantle he wears. Alkaid curls against him, tucking herself against his chest and in his hold as if to apologize for her display. She nods to his declarations and shuts her eyes, hiding her face in his chest. She trust and believes in what he says; that he will not let any take her away from him in this moment. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

FF PSL | ❝ two-toned echoes tumbling through time. ❞

BOOK 3: TWO-TONED ECHOES

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/wraps this one up too