synthneon | echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

[ His eyes close in thought. Does he truly exist in the state he does merely because his own time is so cemented in that of the First? Or, does the time he hails from truly still exist? He finds himself torn on it. Part of him does not wish them to suffer and struggle without knowing that their hopes and dreams were achieved. The other part, however, would hope that those lives spared and reborn a new in the timeline in which they hoped for. ]

If t hey truly still exist. [ There is a sadness in his tone, but a shake of his head. ] All we might do is speculate. I, however, chose to hope that they have all found peace in either regard.

I see. [ A frown then. ] I would have thought that surely, after all you have done, and once the cure developed... that you and your sister would have well deserved rest. [ Not that he is childish enough to believe she would rest along side him. Or, even on the First and the Crystarium for that matter. ] Surely, even they would agree to that.

Edited 2022-05-06 08:59 (UTC)

Maybe if all of us hope enough for them... [ She starts to say, and then she realizes how silly and almost childish that sounds. ] I know that isn't how it works, but I can still hope for that, can't I?

[ The thought brings a smile to her face, at least, but it fades somewhat as the Exarch continues speaking. ]

I wouldn't mind that, but I think someone somewhere would. [ She used to think that the Scions only thought about the next mission, the next duty, and perhaps to an extent, they still do... but maybe she can convince them to give both her and Alkaid a small reprieve. It's just finding a moment for it and hoping that some other threat in the Source or the First doesn't decide to rear its ugly head. ]

What about you? You must need your rest too. [ And now that she thinks about it, she has never heard him mention a need for it, but he must, just like the rest of them. ]

I do not see why you could not. After all, what is the world without any hope? I believe we have seen that for ourselves here on the First. [ The Exarch smiles at her then. ] You would be surprised to know how much that simple hope of yours and your sisters inspires the rest of us.

[ He certainly hopes that the Scions will give the sisters time to themselves once they have come to the conclusion of tempering. Most certainly it will be a long ordeal even once they have freed Ishgard from the grip of King Thordan and his Knights Twelve. ]

My rest comes as I need it. which is not to say that I avoid it! It is typical of those that come from Sharlayan. It was not uncommon to find scholars asleep at their books as they studied or worked on their thesis. We usually found ourselves so absorbed with it that nothing else truly mattered. Not even the taste of food, really.

[ She goes quiet for a moment at that, as if processing his words. At times, she wonders if that really is enough. Part of her believes that what really inspires people is something that they've possessed this whole time, that they always had the potential to do great things. Anything that she and her sister did was just something that gave them a little push.

In the end, she decides to keep those thoughts to herself, because she is certain that he will do his best to argue otherwise. And it isn't even that she begrudges him having those opinions. She just thinks that there are other heroes in the world besides them. Ardbert and the rest of the Warriors of Darkness proved that. ]

I wouldn't mind going to visit Sharlayan one day. I keep hearing stories about it and wondering what it must be like. Aside from being filled with brilliant people and people who would rather study and read than sleep or eat even when they need to.

Ah, yes, the twins are from there. As well as most of the Scions having studied there as well. [ The Exarch tilts his head in thought then. Minfillia truly did gather a mind of scholars about her. He wonders if that makes the sisters feel out of place at any point. ] It is truly a city of beauty and tranquility, minus when the scholars get into arguments of which theory is truly superior. They are not fond of outsiders... and I imagine the process to gain entry into the city without recommendations would be quite a bother indeed. However, if needed, I am certain the Scions would find a way to make it work.

I would not recommend the food there. Unless you happen by the Last Stand.

[ K'thisru wrinkles her nose before she can stop herself. She has had to do her share of studying, and she doesn't mind it, but she prefers adventure and traveling over studying. ] If I had to choose, I think I'd pick the Crystarium over Sharlayan. I know that's not fair since I've never seen it, but-

[ She shrugs. ] What would happen if someone came along and started making their own food?

[ A fond smile touches his face as his mind wanders back to what he had just previously mentioned. Home. Although, it would be the Soruce as his memories of a younger man detail, not those he awoke to. His gaze travels up to the translucent screens as they continue to pull the I formation he requested. What does she think of the idea of him returning to the Source with them? Liking someone is far different than spending a lifetime of adventures with them. A distant look crosses his eyes, wondering if perhaps she would rather he travel on his own.

His smile fades slightly to be replaced by a look of nostalgia.] The core of the Crystarium was modeled after Sharlayan. Of course, it took on am identity of its own, but the parentage is there if one knows how to look.

[ The Exarch closes his eyes. He has every intention of answering her question. After a brief moment of deliberating, he turns his gaze to her once more. ]

I imagine the founder would welcome the idea of learning more cuisines. If Sharlayan opened her gates once more.

I hope you do not mind my insistence, Thisru, but is that all that truly bothers you? You... have deflected the conversation rather well, I'm afraid. And perhaps it is not one you wish to have with me...

[ Her mind is already churning with thoughts and a myriad of possible responses to the conversation threads at hand, but he draws attention once more to how she seems to be deflecting the topic of their discussion away from her and what might be on her mind.

The tips of her ears turn downward as she tries once again to make some sense of everything that seems to be dragging her down. But then, she looks back at him with some surprise in her eyes. ]

Who else except for Alkaid would I talk like this with? [ She shakes her head, knowing that there is no one else. She might appreciate the Scions and their knowledge, and there is no pretending that they have not been through a lot together, but there are some things she just can't say to them. ]

Even so, it isn't right of me to put such things on you, even if I- [ He deserves her honesty, and so she pushes forward. ] Even if I want to. [ But is it really not right for her to share those things with others? She's realizing that, aside from Alkaid, she really doesn't confide in anyone about what she thinks and feels about things that have happened to them both. ]

Ah... yes, of course. Who else indeed.

[ The Exarch offers her a smile that does not quite reach the corners of his cheeks. He has offered, of course, but she is free to turn down that very offer. Perhaps that is for the best, despite how his heart sinks at the idea. He tilts his head to the side and turns his gaze back to the screens above them once more. This time he keeps his ruby eyes on them and lets his white tinged hair obscure his face. ]

Still, if you ever find need of one to listen and perhaps offer advice? I am ever at your service. You have done more for the people of the Crystarium and the First. Saving my life aside, it is truly the least I could do.

[ He would offer more than just advice if he thought she would like it. His shoulder to cry on, his arms to hold her, all the knowledge the Allagans had within the Tower that might help her hone her craft of summoning. In that moment, however, he feels very much like the young man who failed to impress her. Or, perhaps, he has ever been that way and he had simply hoped that the years of experience made him even slightly more attractive in some way.

She did say she liked him. Still, it is best not to push too far. ]

Although, if you would spare me the moment? My offers are not given simply because you are a Warrior of Light, or chosen by Hydaelyn. I have always found you to be a breath of fresh air in the world. One who brings the best out of any you speak to. While I do see you and your sister as heroes? I care greatly for you as simply K'thisru Pahsh.

[ He raises his normal hand to gently brush along the crystallized arm. ]

What would you wish to speak of then?

[ Aside from one or two instances in which she let her emotions get the better of her, she has told herself that it is not a good idea to place her troubles upon him, even though he has said before that hearing her talk about what bothers her is the least he can do.

Knowing that she should not ask him yet again if he is certain, she decides that maybe it would not hurt to let him in. After all, she would be lying to herself if she said that she did not wish to become closer to him, to learn more about him, and perhaps to even let him see more of herself. ]

I- Well, I think that I... It's going to sound foolish, but I-

[ She mentally chastises herself, because her hesitance isn't helping counter her resolve to act as a Warrior of Light should. When she finally speaks, her words come out all in a rush before she can talk herself out of saying them. ]

I have been thinking about what I might do with myself when- well, if Alkaid and I retire from being Warriors of Light. [ If such a thing is possible, at least. But she already knows Alkaid does not wish to be a warrior forever, and while she herself does not mind it, she also would not mind being merely an adventurer again. ]

[ The Exarch waits patiently for what she might say. He had to learn the skill and temper it over the years as they set the path forward to save the First and the Source. Even then, it required no small amount of hope and faith that the Warriors of Light (now coined Warriors of Darkness) would agree to such a thing. It pushed the sisters into paths and strifes unknown. Whatever damage they have suffered between the pair of them is, ultimately, his doing. If there is anything he might be able to do in order to make amends and heal those hurts? He will leap at the chance to do. ]

That far from foolish. At some point, we all wish to move to something else in our lives. A new chapter, if you will. [ Another reason why he wishes to return home to the Source. ] I am certain Alkaid already has a path set forward, but, what of you? Have you an inkling on what you would wish to do? I imagine you would wish to travel and see the world still.

[ The Exarch keeps his gaze forward. How long has it been since he thought of a future of his own design? Surely it must be even more daunting for her than for himself. He realized, after the adventure to the World of Darkness, that it was his duty to oversee and care for the Crystal Tower. It had been left to his bloodline by the Princess of Allag, and how could he refuse after all that had transpired? It is his life work to see that the Tower became a beacon of hope for mankind once more. A work that, he wonders, if the sisters have truly fulfilled and not him. They are the ones who made sure the night returned, the ones who fought the Allag machinations in the Tower.

He is merely a keeper and abductor of a rich and vibrant keeper. Not unlike one who watches a lighthouse.

His gaze drops to the crystal arm once more. He dare not move it as she holds it, fearing she may think he rejects her when quite the opposite is true. ]

Edited (he had more to add later oops) 2022-06-10 21:13 (UTC)

[ She tilts her head to one side as her thoughts seem to spin away from her as they tend to do when she is unsure of herself and what her desires actually are. ]

Oh, I want to see the world and meet new people and make new memories... There is a lot of world to see, after all, but-

[ Her expression turns thoughtful then. ]

It can be a little lonely traveling alone. I have my sister, of course, but I know she doesn't want to wander the world forever.

[ Then she lets her own gaze wander to look at his crystal arm. ] Does it still hurt?

[ The notion that her sister would not wish to wander the world forever comes to no surprise to him, yet he does not make that fact known on his face or in words. If she had been willing to marry a political figure, then, she had the desire to settle at one point. Perhaps it was the slight age difference, or even more likely, she had found one she wished to settle with. He wonders then if K'thisru has simply yet to find that person. That, or, perhaps she will continue to travel till the end of her days. ]

Have the two of you spoken of this already? Or, have you two merely assumed the answer of one another?

[ His gaze drops to his arm. ] Once it has settled into the crystallized form? No, it does not. The turning, however, can be rather ...unpleasant.

I could be wrong, but I always thought that Alkaid wanted to one day put down roots. I think that she likes to travel and to help the people that she meets, but she wants to have a home of her own.

We have talked about what we both want in the future, but it's hard for me to picture a future apart from being a Scion.

[ She truly would not mind retiring from the Scions but remaining a Warrior of Light, but having more freedom to travel where and when she wishes to. For now, though, it seems as though there is still much she can do as a member of the Scions. ]

Does anything help with the turning? [ She wonders if another's touch would at least provide some comfort, or ease the unpleasantness of the process. ]

Ah, I see. Perhaps her time in Gridania made her far more of a home body? [ He offers the comment in a light jest. Perhaps it has simply how the two sisters have always differed. ] Thus, setting down permanent roots not quite what you wish for. It certainly does leave you without a traveling companion, for whenever she decides she has had her fill.

[ The Exarch refrains from further comments. It is quite obvious that the future her sister wishes for has fallen into jeopardy now that the man she is betrothed to is tempered. While he would not claim a stake or a part in solving tempering? The Exarch will gladly do all that he can to give a future desired by his heroes. They, after all, have given him one when one should not exist. ]

And, given what I have seen of the Scions here on the First, none would travel in such a way. They are far more concerned with their own affairs.

[ He looks down at his mispaired hands. Oh, how he longs to travel with her. Such a thing might seem impossible, and yet, he has taken steps in order to return to the Source. The same way in which the Scions returned... but it would require his younger self to take the memories and knowledge into himself.

Even then, who is to say K'thisru would wish him as a traveling companion? She had rebuked him once, as a younger man, and "like" is far from what he feels for her. Rather, it is not a deep enough word for it. ]

None that I have found. Although, [ A sheepish expression takes his face then, ] I admittedly have not done much to look into such a thing.

Edited 2022-06-27 01:36 (UTC)

[ Her response is just to nod slowly, because in all honesty, when the day comes that her sister finally retires from traveling, she is unsure what exactly she will do with herself: continue traveling, perhaps, but the prospect of doing so alone is not exactly appealing. Not that she intends to tell Alkaid as much, because they are both free to go their separate ways.

And of course, as the Exarch as thought, now is not the time for plans for the future. There may not even be a future if the worst happens and Aymeric cannot be recovered. K'thisru vastly prefers being hopeful to being a realist, especially in the case of her sister and Aymeric, but even so, that thought has entered her mind. ]

They do travel, but only when tasked to go somewhere or when it relates to whatever they are working on. [ She nods her agreement with his assumption. ]

I see. So if nothing helps with that, then... [ Healing him obviously will not do any good, as he seems resolved to continue on with his charge and his mission, but there is a part of her that wishes she or someone else could take his place. ] Would a rub or a massage help with the discomfort?

[ She knows full well how that sounds and that he might be put off by the offer, but she makes it regardless. ]

[ The Exarch intends to do everything in his power to see a hopeful future come true. The sisters have worked miracles for all of them, and now he can finally return the favor. While it may have the direct effect of saving Ser Aymeric? The prospect of curing tempering as a whole... it truly is a marvel in his mind. ]

Ah, ever duty bound. Adventuring for the thrill of it... [ he nods in understanding. He looks back to with a gentle smile. ] There could be a way to aid the pain, I simply have not thought to look into it.

[ His ears bend down slightly as he raises his hand to his crystal arm. ] If you have a rub or something in mind, you are welcome to try.

[ Suddenly, the conversation about the Scions and all worries she has for Aymeric and her sister flee from her mind. She has not forgotten about them, at least not as far as her sister and the man she loves are concerned, but the Exarch's words are still ringing in her ears.

She thought he would dismiss her: politely, of course, but it would still be a dismissal. Her ears spring up once and then fold back down against her head. ]

Oh, I- I thought that maybe I could try and rub your arm, that it might help... [ What a silly idea in hindsight, she says to herself. ] But that was a silly thought to have, wasn't it?

[ Silly and too forward, as always. ]

[ The Exarch would never dismiss or push her away. Perhaps he is simply inept at truly explaining his feelings, no matter how hard he tries. Ironic, truly, considering his time pouring over books and stories. He might do well in explaining things as a historian and an Archon... but naught much else. What other words might he use to explain how much he loves her and wishes that there be no space between them? Ah, a fools hope, in the end. She is a Warrior of Light and destined to do far greater things than he could ever dream of. Adventures to have ... even if his idea were to truly come to fruition.

His ruby eyes cast once more to the screens that stretch to the ceiling with his arm remaining stretched out to hers. There is truly no point in dwelling over it all. His mission was a success and now there is one he might help her with. His attention should be on such a thing, letting her rest as he waits for the Tower to pull the information they search for. ]

You, as ever, are free to do as you would like, Thisru. [ The Exarch forces a smile for her, tucking away emotions better left to himself. ] One may never know the outcome of things until they try it.

[ Or perhaps she has been too blinded by her need to find adventure to truly slow down and see that he has been right in front of her for quite some time now. Part of her still feels that she could never hold a candle to him, and yet she would be lying if she said her thoughts and feelings are not beginning to turn a little bit at a time. ]

Are you sure? I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. [ But in spite of herself, she gives his arm a hesitant rub, as if waiting to see if he likes it or will ask her to refrain rather than continue. ] I don't have healing magic like my sister does, or I would try to ease things for you that way.

When one has lived with discomfort for a century? Believe me when I say that your company soothes many aches. The discomfort is of my own actions and choices.

[ At her gentle rub, his eyes involuntarily close. The tips of his ears give a small twitch, and underneath all the robes, his tail flicks as well. A jolt of electricity goes up his arm, surprising him that he even has sensation left in what has become crystal. Still, the motions are comforting, and it takes his willpower to not to relax entirely on her. ]

Has she never taught you the art? [ The Exarch is surprised more than anything. ] Still, not all healing comes from magic we possess. I would wager that sometimes the simple act of caring can heal many wounds.

That may be, but part of me still believes that you shouldn't have to. And if I could do something about it, I would.

[ But she finds herself encouraged by his reaction, because she expected him not to react at all. If he were to relax on her, she wouldn't pull away. Instead, she'd try to hold onto him and continue the comforting motions. ]

She has, but she's more gifted at it than I am, and that's saying something. [ She hesitates for a moment before adding in response: ] Well, I- I care for you. And so do so many around here.

'Tis a choice of my own making, Thisru. I was asked to perform this task--to carry the hope of all those who wished to save the world from the drastic state that the Eighth Umbral Calamity wrought. [ He smiles sadly, and yet fondly, as he looks down at the stylized floor. ] I remember thinking that if I could not only see their wishes fulfilled, but save the heroes that I adored? Not only that, but save the lives they could of lived with those that they cherished? It would be all worth it. And, it has been worth it, and will continue to be worth it. Every step of it.

[ His ear closest to her twitches. ] Ah, so your studies of the magicks are not just simply due to choices, but natural talents as well. I would presume then as the trade off, your sister is far from skilled at creating arcane creations?

[ As to which he realizes he has not seen K'thisru's trusted carbuncle yet this evening. ]

And as such I have been able to carry a great many things thanks to the care of all of you. What we have achieved, my friend, has been made possible due to all of our parts. Not just mine.

At the very least, you should not have to carry it alone. [ And perhaps that is what truly bothers her the most about this. She understands the need to carry responsibilities and to feel responsible for carrying the hopes of others, but it does not have to be a task that is done alone. ] Even my sister and I have had help along the way. I think we wouldn't have gotten this far otherwise.

[ And while she does not wish to seem as though she is arguing, she adds: ] What about your wishes? Could someone see those fulfilled for you? [ She purposefully leaves that vague, but she knows that she herself wishes she could do something for him in return. ]

As far as I know, her skills lie more in healing, not in making things, but I wonder if she studied it, even just a little. [ She is hardly the most dedicated scholar, but in her opinion, everything has a little bit of an overlap.

And at those words, she places her hands on her hips and shakes her head at him with a touch of lighthearted exasperation. ]

Then why not let us carry more of those things for you?

I would imagine the many people of the Crystarium would say they have helped me carry it... and now, you and your sister. [ He smiles gently at her. ] After all, who else could make the hopes and dreams of so many come true if not the people themselves and their heroes?

[ The Exarch pauses. ] I suppose I never thought much of it. I had put my own wishes and desires to the side for so long... Perhaps I will make a list and see if it meets your approval?

[ It is not difficult to follow the lines of thought to see that K'thisru implies herself.

As to the details of her sister, the Exarch tilts his head in thought. It is certainly something he intends to ask at a later time. Perhaps it is more an academic perspective of how the two sisters use their aether in different yet complimentary ways. ]

You would stay on the First and help lead the Crystarium? [ He chuckles. ] I would not dream of anchoring you to one place in such a way. Instead... perhaps you could tell me stories of what has happened on the Source? All the details of what has happened to Ishgard, the tempering, but even before then. How has the war fared against the Empire? What hidden treasures have you found on the Source? That way, as shameful as it is to admit, I might live the adventures as if I was beside you all along.

echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

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/starts to wrap this up (so we can start another with them ho ho ho)

hohoho