echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

[dragonssung]

song of hope

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

Tales of loss and fire and faith
Every word on our hearts engraved
In the dark you will not stray
Forge ahead, till the end, we prayCODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[thewayforpeace]

[ The pain that he feels now is a different sort, not one that can be attributed to the primal, but a more emotional pain: a pain that comes from his heart. But he cannot express his feelings nor his thoughts, not as he presently is; when she pulls away from him, ending the kiss, he raises his eyes so that they are locked on hers, and a wordless sound escapes him.

It sounds distressed, but not because of his present injured state, but because he is responding to her own distress and his fingers move to close lightly around her hand. The gesture may not be comforting to her, because the still-vacant look in his eyes is surely bound to be distressing as well, but he does not remove his hand from hers, even as the three of them make their way along.

As Alkaid and Estinien exchange words, Aymeric's focus moves to taking one step at a time until they reach the stairs and Alkaid continues guiding him until they have reached the top.

When she stops, he stops as well as the discussion about the room Estinien managed to obtain continues. Aymeric glances between Estinien and Alkaid, looking from one to the other as if waiting for some further direction.

Eventually, they reach the room and when Estinien guides him over to the couch, Aymeric settles into it, gaze moving to stare vacantly at the nearest wall, until Alkaid reaches for him, tilting his face up to look at her. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid forces a smile for him once he looks up to her. She is very distressed, most certainly a word beyond distressed, but there is little to do for it. The state of her own heart and her mind are a necessary burden to have for her to remain at his side in this moment. If she can help him now, then when the cure is administered... It will all be worth it.

Her cold hand squeezes his then. All she wishes for is that once this ordeal is finished that he does not leave her. Mayhap due to him feeling as if she is better off without him or the notion that she had failed him one too many times.

She bites back the words that almost spring from her: Don't leave me, please. Don't go to places I can't follow. They were words she has said before and words she feels she has no place to ask. She is the on who leaves for places he cannot go. How could she ask him not to do the same? ]

I will see to bringing the pair of you something to eat. [ Estinien only speaks up to announce his leave. Emotional scenes are far from his place. That, and he would not have it said he could not help a Warrior of Light if she broke. ] You may need to tell him to eat. Otherwise he might insist you do instead.

[ Alkaid nods as Estinein leaves and her gaze drops to Aymeric once more. She forces another smile for him. ]

I know it was quite the long walk. You must be tired after it. [ Her free hand raises to gently brush his bangs to the side. A small tremor is there, worried that any touch from her may cause King Thordan to strike and weaken Aymeric further. ] Once you've eaten, I'll help you with a bath, and then you can rest all you need.

[ She leans forward to slightly brush her lips to his forehead once more. There, she remains for a moment, for her heart gives a painful beat. For all the comfort she gives? She cannot help but miss the comfort he gave her. Curling up into his arms and listening to his breathing or as he spoke of things to calm her. Alkaid gives a sharp inhale and presses it down.

Now is not the time. He needs her to guide him, not to weep. ]

It is a foggy and cold morning, isn't it? Let me fetch a blanket. One that isn't covered with dirt.

[ She squeezes his hand again before pulling away. A smile is on her face for him, and she moves slower than she might so he can see where she goes. First, she closes the curtains on the windows, knowing that once it gets brighter his eyes have to adjust go it. Then, she opens a door and then two to note where the bath is. Once she is satisfied with those, she enters the bedroom.

It most certainly is a display of craftsmanship. The best, she supposes, for the diplomatic relations.

She takes a spare blanket from the edge of the bed and quickly returns to Aymeric's side. Then, she moves in front of him, and drapes it over his shoulders so it might cascade around him. It is only after then does she kneel in front of him with her hands resting in her lap. ]

Is there anything you need that I might be able to help with until Estinien arrives? ...anything you might need me to do for you?

[ There must be something other than healing his wounds she can do for him. Even if all she has done had never truly lived up to the standards of being his betrothed or future wife. Being here for him now surely does not count in making up for all the times she was not there.

Her hand hesitantly raises to rest on his knee as she waits for any sort of an answer. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ His words have failed him again, and that only adds to the ache inside him, but even if he cannot use his voice to say what is on his heart, there are other ways of reaching out to her, if only he can find the strength to do it.

This long fight with Thordan has left him weakened and even the smallest of movements is enough to take what little energy he still has. The walk from the cells to this room required no small amount of effort, even with the support from his friends, and even as he sits on the couch, his posture slips as if the effort to remain there is taxing him even now.

He can only watch as Estinien takes his leave, but his gaze only shifts away from hers briefly, and once the dragoon has gone on his way, it turns back to meet her eyes.

As she brushes his bangs to one side, his eyes slide closed for a moment, responding to her touch and a shaky exhale of breath leaves him. Fortunately for them both, Thordan remains quiet, not striking out at Aymeric once more, and when Alkaid's lips brush against his forehead, his eyes reopen, and as if something in him is drawn to her feelings of missing his touch and his comfort, his arm moves, shakily at first, but as steadily as can be expected until his fingers brush against her face.

Then, his hand seems to freeze in place as if suddenly confused to find itself there, but he still does not pull away. She continues speaking, and how she squeezes his hand elicits another quiet sigh from him. Even when she pulls away, he remains still, eyes watching her progress as she moves about, even as she briefly ventures to survey the bath and the bedroom both.

Once she returns with the blanket and places it on him, and puts forward her question, his response is not quite immediate, but certainly faster than anything he has done previously.

His gaze turns briefly to where her hand is resting upon his knee, and somehow, that is encouragement enough for him. Once again, his arm moves, and even though the effort behind it causes it to shake, there is something akin to resolve in his posture as he struggles to complete the gesture.

It is not so much anything that he needs from her, but something he wishes to do for her, even if his sluggish mind has not entirely registered it in those exact words.

With how she is kneeling in front of him, it is not as simple as reaching out to her, so he pushes himself forward from the couch just enough to close the small distance between them. Once that has been achieved, his hand closes lightly over her shoulder, and only then do his movements come to a stop. But all the while, his eyes have been locked on hers. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She all but freezes once he touches her cheek. Then, her eyes drift shut and she leans into his touch. His sigh causes her heart to skip a beat. For a brief moment everything melts away and it is just the two of them again. Part of her feels as if they may never have this again, and thus it is important to hold it close and treasure it while she can.

Settled in front of him, Alkaid watches as he begins to move. Her ears lift off her head in worry that he might strain himself more than he should. She moves closer to him in order to try and make whatever motion he moves to do easier. Her eyes are locked onto his all the while, never looking away. She wishes she could see what it is he is thinking beyond the glowing blue-and-white that's enveloped his normally sky-blue color. Although, she believes she does know what it is he is attempting to do.

Gently, as she has this entire ordeal, Alkaid slips between his legs. If he was not so injured she would sit on his lap as she might usually. There is only a moment of hesitation before she leans only a fraction of her weight against him if he so wishes to wrap his arms around her underneath the blanket. Her arms raise slowly to move around his waist, letting her head rest against his chest. Alkaid tilts her head up to look at him to make sure that she has not agitated any of the wounds she has unable to heal just yet. ]

... like this? [ She wants to make certain that she understands what he has tried to do. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ She seems to anticipate what he intends to do even before he completes the gesture, and when she slips between his legs, at first he remains still as if not knowing what to do. But then instinct and a desire that, for now, must remain unspoken, takes hold.

His shoulders dip and the blanket that she placed around him begins to slide off, and he catches it with one hand. It takes some maneuvering, and it is hardly a graceful attempt, but he tries to position the blanket around her shoulders instead. Although he is in a diminished state of awareness, he has felt how cold her hands are, and that part of him that still places the needs of others above his own has decided she needs the blanket more than he does.

Still, his effort to put it on her has placed it somewhat lopsidedly, a detail his clumsy efforts are doing little to alter. Finally, he is forced to give up the notion, as the effort has made his arms grow tired and he can no longer hold them up. Instead, they fall to rest against her lower back as he cannot manage to entirely wrap them around her.

Although he does not answer her question with words, he has done his best to convey that this is what he wants, and that he wishes to be sure that she is comfortable as well. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid shakes her head the moment he tries to shift the blanket away. She waits until he finishes his attempt before making her move. Her hands come from his waist to readjust the blanket upon his shoulders. However, she then settles back down in front of him. The blanket is then tugged to hang over the pair of them and a tired smile is sent up to him. ]

There, now it fits the both of us.

[ Her hands return to his sides. One rests gently over the scar from the long healed stab wound. Her fingers gently brush along the scar through the fabric of the tunic that is usually underneath is armor that has been taken. ]

If you need to sleep, Aymeric, please do. We can eat once you've rested. [ Her head tilts back further as a sad smile touches the corners of her lips. One of her fingers gently presses against the scar. ] Has this been bothering you since they've brought you here? Or is it only the injuries from Estinien that pain you?

[thewayforpeace]

[ It is only for a moment, but the bright glowing in his eyes fades and is replaced by the briefest look of sadness: sadness that he is unable to speak as he wishes and cannot even move so that he might hold her as he once did.

The way she insists on re-draping the blanket so that they are both covered eases some of the concern and worry he holds inside, but the sad look in his eyes remains and the glow that returns does not entirely obscure it.

As her fingers lightly ghost alongside the healed wound, he leans forward once more so that he might rest his head against her shoulder, exhaustion seeming to pull him down even though he does not truly wish to sleep, not yet.

It isn't that his pain has lessened, although she saw to the wounds on his wrists and tended to the bruised areas on his back which has helped him breathe easier, but it has all settled into a constant state of discomfort, only occasionally spiking when the primal feels especially enraged. It isn't particularly comfortable, but it has reached a plateau of sorts.

The old wound has not responded well to the cold of the cell that he was held in, but it has become just another part of the ongoing struggle he has been locked in. Even so, his fingers curl and his lips press together into a thin line as if trying to hold back the ache that has spread out everywhere, not just from the place where he was stabbed. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ His sadness is met by a look of understanding as she nods. They are doing the most that they can do. The fact he can even think to look at her the way he does and try to hold her speaks more than words at the moment. Her fingers move from pressing against his scar to gently rubbing at the site instead. ]

I see. [ She takes it to mean yes, but then everything must be hurting still. ] I'll do what I can to ease it.

[ Alkaid tilts her head so she can kiss the top of his. A shiver comes from where he presses. He always finds a way to make her react even now. She nuzzles her nose into his hair and simply sits as she is for a moment, eyes closed, trying to absorb everything she can in this moment. She believes they will find a cure and he will be free of enthrallment; that everyone will be. Yet, the realist in her cannot help but consider the idea that they may not have much time left together. ]

I love you. [ Her lips press another kiss to his head. ] I have never been good enough at expressing it to you. Just know, that no matter what happens, and where fate may take us, that I love you.

I'm not certain I would have survived what happened in Norvrandt if I didn't have the knowledge we'd be married. No matter how dark things were, how hopeless it was, I knew I had to come home to you. M-maybe that will not help you now... m-maybe I cling to it too much... but I still hold onto that. Even now.

[thewayforpeace]

[ A part of him is tired of this diminished existence, but he does not want to just lie down and let Thordan take him from everything and everyone that he loves. To be parted from Alkaid is the last thing that he wants, even though he retains hope that should the worst happen, they will find each other again in another lifetime.

Although he cannot put it into words, just her presence by his side eases his discomfort. Somehow, she calms him, but she also gives him something else to focus on aside from the internal struggle that still has a hold on him.

But as she plainly states her feelings and her love for him, he still cannot give voice to a response, but his eyes still remain fixed on her.

His hands move then to latch onto hers, and although he still lacks the strength to put much into the gesture, he squeezes them as hard as he can to show that he is listening and that her words have not fallen on deaf ears.

If only he could bring to mind the depths of the love he had for her, it would reflect in his eyes, but at the most, they just shine a little bit brighter, a different sort of brightness that cannot be attributed to the primal's influence. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her gaze moves down to their combined hands and her expression softens. Her fingers run along his as her lips press to them. His lack of strength in the gesture hardly bothers her. She understands the position he is in. He can barely sit up, yet he is concerning himself with how cold she is and her comfort. She presses her lips to them again in another kiss. It is simply because she misses kissing him. Yet, doing the action causes him such pain.

The part that is a realist is ever present, but even then, Alkaid still hopes against hope. She knows that if they are to be separated by him returning to the star, that she will quite never be the same. Part of her will go with him. She feels as if they are tied together at their souls. Or, perhaps, that is her simply projecting.

Still, she smiles at him again for the look in his eyes.

Her ears twitch once the door opens. Alkaid peeks from the blanket wrapped around them as Estinien enters the room once more, this time with a tray filled with food. She gives him a tired smile as well as the dragoon places the food down on the table behind them. ]

It would seem the two of you have much to catch up on. I will leave you to it, and check in a few hours.

[ Before she can even thank him, Estinien leaves. However, he casts a glance towards Aymeric on his way out. One that says that he ought to not only care for Alkaid but himself. The door closes gently leaving the two alone once more.

Alkaid looks back to Aymeric with a gentle look. She squeezes his hands before standing up. ]

Let's have breakfast.

[ With one final kiss to their joined hands given, she turns to gather their meal. It's a simple soup and rice which is perhaps best given his lack of strength. She takes her seat beside him with the bowl between her hands and raised slightly up for him. ]

Do you need me to hold it for you?

[thewayforpeace]

[ And once again, that yearning to hold her intensifies, even managing to break through the feeling of stagnation that does not come from his stilled aether (because that is not so easily broken), but from the stillness that has been forced upon him. For someone who was accustomed to acting of his own will in order to achieve his goals, this lack of control is stifling. Or at least, it would have been if he was wholly aware of it. Some part of him knows that he is being trapped by the primal's influence, and that is the part of him that is greatly distressed by it.

But as before, how she presses kisses into his hands stills some of the distress that is building up inside him, and although he is unable to move to respond to her efforts, his eyes remain focused on hers and he shifts position just enough to lean in closer to her. They are already very close to each other, but what little distance between them remains disappears when he moves forward.

And when Estinien enters the room carrying the tray of food, Aymeric still does not move away from her; his glance turns to look at the dragoon, and as before, that look of sadness forms itself once again in his eyes. In his present state, he is unable to reach out to anyone, and just as he misses holding Alkaid and speaking with her, he misses the camaraderie and brotherly bond he shares with Estinien.

But there is nothing to be done about that at present, only biding his time until either the primal's influence once again drags him away or something happens to free him from this imprisonment.

Estinien departs as quickly as he came, and in his absence, Aymeric's eyes slide back to meet Alkaid's. Strangely enough, rather than expend the effort to take hold of the offered food, he raises his hands to gently push it towards her. Clearly Estinien's words from before were correct; Aymeric still desires to see her needs met before his own. It might only be soup and rice, and certainly she might find other things more appetizing, but still: he is not the only one who needs to eat. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her tail gently flicks at its edge at his actions. She can sense there is something stirring underneath by his posture alone. However, if that is Aymeric, King Thordan, or something else entirely is unknown to her. If only she might be able to help him more. It hardly feels as if she has done anything at all, let alone done enough for him. If she cannot heal him, after everything else she has failed at, then what can she do for Ser Aymeric de Borel other than hold him down with her own struggles?

What lover, even wife-to-be, does that to the person they love?

A tremor begins in her hands again as he gently pushes the food to her. A sign of the emotions she desperately tries to keep hold of to herself as to not burden him further. She understands the meaning of his action clearly: he would have her care for herself first. Two-toned eyes slowly fall to the food between them as her tail stills. If anything is certainly quite obvious of Aymeric still present? His care for others and his stubbornness seems to be unable to be rewritten by King Thordan.

She bites back a plea for Aymeric not to argue with her and to do this for her. The plea would ring hollow as he is most certainly right. She is in need of food and proper rest just as him. Instead, she lets out a sigh that shakes on the verge of tears once more. Then, she raises her gaze to look up at him. She moves her hands forward once more, but this time, she stops between them. ]

We can share it. [ Her braid shifts over her shoulder again once she tilts her head. ] You take a bite and then I will. Then, once we're done, we'll move to the bath.

[ Alkaid then holds the bowl up enough so he might take the spoon for himself. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ He grows tired of this present state of being, of being so hindered by the will of another and the limitations of his own body, but as they have both realized by now, there is very little that can be done at the moment. Even if he had the strength to fight against what keeps him held down, it still would not be enough to throw off the enthrallment.

As for what she has done to help him, she has not abandoned him to his fate, remaining by his side, and that is help enough.

So, he is forced to settle for what he can do, which is try his best to make sure that her needs are met, even if he cannot do very much to insist that she sleeps and eats. Pushing the food towards her is the most he can manage, but true to form, she also declines, suggesting a compromise instead.

He wishes only to please her, to bring a real smile back to her face, but even as he reaches for the spoon, his hand and arm both begin to shake almost uncontrollably and his shoulders sag as if he has only disappointed himself once more. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Two-toned eyes move to his hand and arm, watching his movements, in case she must intervene. Her ears lift slightly as he moves to take the spoon. Then, her gaze softens as he is unable to complete the motion. She sets the meal to the side for only a brief moment to take his hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze. He tried, and for now, that is enough. ]

Oh, Aymeric, don't be upset. I shouldn't have asked you to do more than you're ready to do. The walk here was hard enough... I didn't think .... I should have. [ She squeezes his hand again before guiding it to rest inside the blankets. Then, she moves to pick up their breakfast once more into her hands. The bowl is settled in her lap and she fills the spoon full before raising it to his mouth for him to eat. ] You first, then I'll follow.

Then, after you've slept and woken up, I'll be certain to ask for two meals.

[ As she is certain he will not stand for sharing a meal with her again. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Perhaps it seems strange that this failure has seemingly disheartened him so, but it is just another way that he has been shuttered and rendered helpless. The realization that he is unable to feed himself feels like receiving another blow, not from King Thordan, but from his own diminished but still present sense of pride.

And even as she tries to reassure him and holds up the spoon for him to take the food from it, his shoulders sink lower and for the briefest of seconds, his eyes slide closed. But they only remain that way for a moment, seconds at most, and when they open, he leans forward accepting the offered bite.

It still feels to him as though she ought to focus only on caring for herself and meeting her needs, but even if he had the strength and the words to form that argument, it seems clear enough that she would refuse to accept the notion that caring for him is a futile effort.

And so, for the moment, he remains compliant, taking the food and slowly swallowing it, the only other sign of the disappointment he directs at himself being the way his hands curl beneath the blanket's folds. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid watches as his shoulders sink and eyes close. A frown forms on her face at the sight of it all. The knowledge and visual reinforcement that she cannot do anything to aid and heal what the root cause of his state settles on her as one might feel when they reach a sudden stop. Ears tuck quietly against her head once more. Is her presence alone truly enough? ]

I'm sorry I can't do more. [ Her gaze drops to their breakfast and she fills the spoon once again. She intends to hold herself true to her statement. ] I can't reverse what's been done...

[ The grip on the spoon tights just a fraction. ] All I can do is care for you and help your strength return. Even if you decide to return to Thordan and leave me behind... you will at least be able to do it being able to stand and move.

[ Alkaid quickly takes her sharing into her mouth to help stifle her words. She is certain once he is healed and can move? He will attempt to return to Ishgard once more. Ishgard, after all, is his first love and his purpose. So much so that it would seem not even a primal of his father's making couldn't remove it from him. Instead, the primal warped events, and she has no doubt that he feels as if he has failed his homeland.

She doubts King Thordan would let her near Ishgard and would send the others enthralled after them. She knows Estinien would not let Aymeric return to Ishgard in his tempered state. Despite the room that would of been afforded to him should he be a visitor? He is still a prisoner unable to serve his homeland, despite how the vision of it all is twisted in his mind.

She fills the spoon once more and holds it up for him to eat. ]

... do you remember the first time I could heal you? The night of the conference when Nidhogg made his declaration. [ A sad smile touches her face despite the joy, and quite honestly, fulfillment she felt that night. ] I promised to be the armor that you needed; to protect you when no one else might. That way your heart would not hurt as it did the day Nidhogg destroyed the conference meeting.

[ She brushes her thumb along the metal of the spoon once he has eaten his bite. Alkaid closes her eyes and returns it to the soul-rice mixture to gather her own bite. ]

I failed to live up to that promise. You don't need to try and reassure me that I haven't... because I can see it. [ An exhale leaves her. ] Your father hurts you every time you reach out for me, doesn't he? He'll make you pick between me or Ishgard--saving his Ishgard. If I had lived up to that promise then you wouldn't have need to pick between the two. No apologies could make up for that.

[ Alkaid closes her eyes once more as she eats her bite. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ In truth, he wants nothing more than to abandon all other actions except to rest with his head upon her shoulder while she holds him as best as she is able. And barring that, the only thing he desires is her presence and the comfort that he derives from it.

She might doubt that her presence is doing him any good at all, but if she were to leave him for any reason, all desire to even attempt moving and speaking would flee with her. Somewhere inside him, he knows that she is his driving force, the spark that keeps him going even when the odds are stacked against him. That was very much the case during the war against the dragons, and it is the case now.

If only he could tell her that she has no reason to apologize, that she is the only reason he has come as far as he has. And although he might be exhausted beyond belief and wavering on the brink of despair, he is still holding on because she has not given up.

Her words wash over him even as they take turns eating; not everything she says breaks through to him, but in a way, it doesn't have to. Just the sound of her voice is comforting, easing the pain he still feels in his heart and in his body as well.

But how can he reassure her that she has not failed to keep her promise when he cannot even speak? Thordan might tear them apart once again, and that knowledge causes just the barest amount of quickening inside him, beating against the stagnation that has taken hold of his aether and his will alike.

It is not enough, because what little will he still has is not sufficient to break the primal's hold. His shoulders tremble as he tries to fight what might as well be yet another futile attempt, but he must try.

First one arm moves, and then another, unfolding themselves from underneath the blanket. His movements are slow, and again, his arms shake as if protesting the actions he is not ready for. But even if he taxes what little strength he has, reaching out for her is of greater importance.

It seems to take a span of hours rather than minutes, but his fingers eventually brush against hers, fingertips bending to close around her own. Then, a line of tension forms in his shoulders as if anticipating a strike from Thordan, but as more minutes pass, nothing seems to happen.

Still, he does not relax, only leaving his hands just barely holding onto hers.

Without the use of his voice and his words, this gesture might only seen as him further seeking comfort from her, but inside, he is desperate to convey by any means possible that this is his choice. He will always love Ishgard and her people, and should it come to it, he would put himself on the line to save them all, but he loves her too, even more than he values his own life. And yet having a life with her is what he desires more than anything, and that is what spurs him on to continue fighting.

And although the primal's influence is still overwhelming nearly every other thought that he has and any action he would perform, the part of him that is clinging to his sense of self knows that King Thordan is not truly on the side of Ishgard. Or at least, he cares not for the Ishgard that Aymeric knows and loves. He would see Ishgard destroyed, her people enslaved, and for what gain?

For the first time, even though it is only a sliver of Aymeric's true feelings and is not powerful enough to break through his enthrallment, he realizes that Estinien had the right of it: if King Thordan had his way, a great many people would lose their lives, and the peace that they had found following the conclusion of the war would be shattered.

That realization lends a brief strength to Aymeric's hands, and the tenuous grip he has on Alkaid's tightens momentarily before loosening once more. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Alkaid's gaze remains downcast. Yet, she watches intently as his hands slowly reach out to hers. He freezes to see if Thordan might lash out, and she too freezes. She waits for what ought to be the inevitable recoil he has as the primal who has enthralled him lashes out. Yet, nothing seems to truly happen in that regard. Her hands shake slightly under his touch with emotions unsaid and unshared.

She bites down on her lip slightly before she leans forward to close the remaining space between them. Then, she rests her forehead against his once more. Lamenting how unfair it all is would be so very pointless. Not when he has his own harsh battle he is waging within. She would curl her hands around his in return if she did not hold the spoon and bowl. Instead, she presses her forehead against his further with her eyes closed. ]

I miss you. [ A funny thing to say, she realizes. Especially when they sit together and the problems of the world finally put to the side. Her head tilts so she might press the side of her nose to his. ] It is our first time together in a city beyond Ishgard and war... and we can hardly enjoy it together.

[ Another moment passes before she tilts her head down. They should finish breakfast before anything else. Thus, she returns to her motions of feeding the two of them until the shared bowl is empty. She places it to the side with the spoon. Before standing, she presses a kiss to his cheek that is close to his lips. She dares not kiss him proper in case it undoes the small progress he has made.

Alkaid stands then and removes the blanket from the pair of them. Her hands go to help him stand. Then, she moves to his side and nestles perfectly against his body. One hand goes around his waist while the other rests his hand on her shoulder. ]

I'm far from Estinien, but lean what you need on me, and I will find a way to support your weight. [ A hand gestures to the room in which they must move to. ] That one is the bathroom. I won't see you in a comfortable bed covered in dirt from a cell.

[ It is a slow process to the bathroom. Once inside, she helps him transfer his weight to the sink. Her attention turns then to setting the bath together. She makes certain the water is not too hot. As the tub fills with water, she takes the steps to return to his side and motions to his clothing. He will need to dress down to be inside the water.

She helps however he might need, being careful to look away at certain parts of his nude body. Not because she does not desire him. Now is not the time, nor the place, and he had made certain his stance that most intimate acts should be saved until after they wed. She will abide by his request even now.

Finally, she leads him to the tub and helps him with his weight as best as he can to settle inside the bath. She moves to kneel beside the tub. ]

Is the water too hot or too cold? Do you need me to get you anything before I start?

[thewayforpeace]

[ Although he would try to move more and attempt to speak to her, as she continues alternating between feeding him and taking bites of their shared breakfast, Aymeric falls silent for the next few moments until the bowl is emptied and she sets it aside. The kiss she presses against his cheek elicits a quiet sigh from him, and as luck or fortune would have it, the primal does not react then either.

When she helps him stand, it goes easier this time, although some strain is present in his limbs as he does his best to stay on his feet, not collapsing or bending at the knees as he straightens up with her help.

Although he has once again fallen into an obedient state of compliance as she directs him to the bathroom, he moves more purposefully than he has since this whole ordeal began. And lest she worry, none of the mindless actions he made when he was firmly locked in the grip of rage are present as he takes one slow, unsteady step forward followed by another. He might still be enthralled by the primal, but at the very least, he can move forward with assistance.

Still, when they finally make it into the bathroom, he has to hold onto the sink in order to remain upright as she prepares the bath. When she returns and indicates that he needs to undress, once again, he simply does as requested, needing her aid again at certain points in the process. But eventually, he sheds his clothes and lets her guide him to the waiting tub.

Now that he is unclothed, the bruise patterns that are in varying stages of healing stand out against his pale skin. They wrap around his back and across his chest, marking the places where Estinien initially jumped on him to knock him out, and then pressed Nidhogg against him, as well as the force with which he landed when the dragoon knocked him back against the cell wall. Smaller bruises wind around his hands and forearms where he slammed them against the cell bars, but the worst of the damage remains on his back and chest.

Once he is properly inside the bath, although he does not answer with words, the way his body relaxes underneath the warm water ought to be telling enough. Another sigh escapes him as the areas of tension and soreness from his various injuries unclench themselves as the water settles in over him. The lingering soreness from the bruises seems to fade as well, but until the injuries heal, it is sure to return.

Still, the warm water helps ease some of the lingering pain. He certainly is the most relaxed he has been in some time, but perhaps that is only to be expected, as he is no longer being held inside a cell but instead housed in a far more comfortable and less distressing room.

Now the only danger present (the primal's rage notwithstanding) is that he might drift off to sleep while still in the bath. Even so, Alkaid would most likely have to be completely absent from the room or have her attentions drawn elsewhere for that to be a real danger. Still, Aymeric's thoughts are far from dwelling upon that or anything more than the sound of the water lightly splashing against the sides of the tub and the dim awareness he still has of Alkaid's presence by his side. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ The improvements in his movements brings a small amount if joy to her eyes. At least she has been able to do this for him. Even if everything else she has tried to do for him has ended in some form of failure? Healing him seemingly has been a minor success so far.

Her mind is far from romantic thoughts, but she finds herself wishing she might look at Aymeric in such a way. Instead, all she can see is the bruises along his front, backside, and arms. She feels the familiar rising sense of anxiousness inside her at the display. Oh, her poor knight. No wonder he has been in so much pain...

Alkaid waits for an answer as she sits beside the tub. Then, she realizes it will never come in a way she expects. His eyes close and he seems to relax entirely. She is left to sit on her own, hands on the rim, watching as he drifts off into some form of rest. Her two-toned eyes drop to the surface of the water. A moment of stillness passes--save for the water that waves gently. Her forehead presses to the edge for just a moment. Then, her hands clutch it with a surge of emotion washing over her.

Of course. In this moment, she is far from Lantaa, and barely Alkaid. She may not even be the Warrior of Light to him. Simply someone that he perhaps has a feeling he cares for deeply. Someone that can care for him and heal him. He would not be able to remember much of anything of her. Her questions must surely seem redundant or perhaps even pointless. Even worse, the answers may be obvious, and therefore not worth answering in any form.

She uses the leverage from how her hands to push herself up after the few momwnts that pass. Then, she moves to the back of the tub where his head rests. With wash cloth and soap in hand, she gently begins to wash his arms and shoulders, even his face. What point would there be in having him dirty in a new bed? Once done, she quietly takes water into a basin and gently pours it over his hair to wash next. Not once does she speak through out the process; not even as she stands behind him lathering his hair.

If he needs to sleep then must let him as much as she is able.

Water pours over his head again as she works the soap from his hair. Once done, she gently places her hands at the back of his neck. She attempts to guide the tension out of his body simply by touch. The injuries that litter his body and arms will be addressed once he is asleep.

It is far from how I had hoped our first bath together might be. She thinks to herself, but does not allow the emotion to show.

Yet, it could very well be the only one they have.

After he is washed and pampered for, Alkaid simply sits beside the tub and quietly waits for him to stir once more. Most likely once the water has gone cold. Then, she drains the tub and offers her hands to help him ease from the tub. A towel is taken from the counter and pulled around his waist-- not that she had looked anywhere other than his chest. Another towel is taken and she quietly dries his arms and torso off gently. The towel is then draped around her shoulder and she once again slides against him. ]

Let us get you to bed.

[ The walk to the bedroom is far shorter than the one from the living room. She eases him to sit on the edge of the bed, quickly shut the curtains and returns to stand in front of him.

The towel is moved from her shoulder and placed atop his head. Then, she gently works to dry his hair. It reminds her of a moment that feels as if it were a different age. Except, he had been the one drying her hair on the eve of battle. Alkaid bites again down on her lip as her hands shake moving through his hair.

There will most likely not be a time in which he might care for her in such a way again. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ The desire to remain awake and aware while she goes about her business of bathing him, a notion that feels a little strange to him even in his current state, is very much present, but the combination of the warm water and his exhaustion is more than enough to lull him off to a state of being half-asleep. He dozes in the warm water as she continues her ministrations, his breathing becoming easier and less labored the more she works to clean him off.

If only he could reach out to her and speak to her while she works, because there is much that he wishes he could say, even though his state of comfortable dozing prevents it. And surely the primal would interrupt once more if he even made the attempt.

Instead, he remains still, lying in the water with his eyes closed and a far more relaxed expression than he has worn since this all started coming to his face. It isn't until she places her hands upon the back of his neck and then pauses as if waiting for him to stir that his eyes finally slide open.

For just a moment, they remain staring up at the ceiling, but gradually, they focus and they shift to look at her. Again, he does not have the chance to try and form words, because she is already moving to help him leave the tub, and his hands latch onto hers as he does his best to stand and step out of the bath.

He remains still as she wraps the towel around his waist and continues to dry him off. Once that is completed, she helps him yet again move to the bedroom, and with her assistance, he sits on the edge of the bed waiting for her to return from closing the curtains.

As she works on drying his hair, his eyes remain open, still fixed upon her, and although his mind and body both are telling him he must sleep now, he has one thing he must do first. ]

Alkaid...

[ His voice is hoarse from the lack of consistent use, but that is not what bothers him. He shakes his head lightly given the placement of her hands in his hair, and then he tries again. ]

Lantaa.

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her delicate hands squeeze his in return once he clutches onto them. There is a gentleness in her encouragements for him to move and do what he can. She does not expect him to make lengthy speeches or even move mountains. All she expects of him is the most that he is able to do. As she knows that he might remain as he is--in a similar state to the younger Ga Bu--or he will fully succumb to the influence of King Thordan. The decision is his to make and all she can do is show that she will not think less of him in either way. He will still always be Ser Aymeric de Borel of Ishgard to her.

Her thoughts continue to drift off in that fashion until he speaks her name. Then, all attention instantly focuses back on him. She looks down at his still glowing blue eyes with her own eyebrows raised. ]

Hm?

[ The hands atop his head have already stopped due to her spiraling thoughts, and the small tremor in them remains. Her head cants to the side just enough when he shakes his own head. Then, as just before in the cell, she freezes as he says her birth name. Her eyes widen once more and she does her utmost not to let her lower lip tremble again.

She's meant to be a Warrior of Light--a Champion and Hero of Eorzea. That does not mean she falls apart when the world seems to be at its worst. She does not crumble when those around her look to strength and to keep the world going. Even if it is her world that seems to be shrouded in an undertone of darkness ever since she returned from Norvrandt. He has seen enough of how much of a mess she remains inside of it. That is not what he needs at the moment. She needs to be a beacon of hope that it will all be right in the end; even if it is not the same as it once was.

Alkaid pulls her hands back from his hair with the towel in tow. She hides her fingers inside the folds of the towel. They begin to twist one another in her nervous habit. ]

...Yes?

[ Godsdamnit, her voice is far too soft and filled with worry to seem strong or anything else for that matter. She berates herself inwardly once more. Her shoulders square and she pulls her hiding hands closer to her in an attempt to seem taller and in more control than she certainly feels she is as she waits for his response. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Once again, he feels divided between what he wants for himself and what he ought to want as a son of Ishgard. He wants to bring to life what has so far only been a swiftly fading dream in his mind: namely having a life with her... with Lantaa, being able to converse with her and hold her as he once did. King Thordan might be trying to drown out all of his memories with her, but he cannot dislodge those core memories, the ones that his true self holds most dear. But even so, those memories war with other ones, ones planted in his mind by the primal.

In these artificially implanted memories, he sees himself being lead down another path by Thordan himself... not the imposing primal but the man who is his only remaining blood relation. This path takes him far from the woman that he loves but leads him to what Thordan claims is the only way to Ishgard's salvation.

Still, what remains of Aymeric's will fights to hold onto those precious memories of his time with Lantaa, and even as the tension shows itself in his posture and in the way the veins in his neck begin to stand out because of the continued internal battle, he still fights to respond to her. ]

I- I'm... [ I'm here. His mind fills in the sentence that he is struggling to give voice to, but that is not enough: he wants to say those words aloud that Lantaa might know he is still trying desperately to reach for her.

She might not expect any grand speeches from him, but he can barely manage to say two words to her, and that is more distressing to him than any wound.

But then, as if a burst of defiance that has been building up over time finally manages to break through, Aymeric's shoulders stiffen and he straightens up for one brief moment. ]

Lantaa, I'm here. [ In those words rings all the defiance and resolve that has been so thoroughly snuffed out by his enthrallment, but for these few seconds, he almost sounds like himself again and his eyes gleam with a light quite a bit different from the light of tempering.

Soon enough, exhaustion will pull him down again, and he will once again be ensnared, but for now, the small remnant of Ishgard's Lord Speaker is doing its best to reassert itself. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Eyebrows turn upwards at their corners as she sees his posture change. A quick sharp feeling of panic hits her at the sight of the strain he puts himself under. Her mouth opens to ask him not to push himself so much for her sake. She is far from deserving of it, nor should she be so important to pull from his recovery. Losing what little progress he has made only to rescind deeper into his enthrallment would be devastating for all of them. She would not have herself be the reason why the Lord Speaker lost his battle with the primal who takes the shape of the once hero of Ishgard.

Still, she waits with ears pressed down against her head, fingers twisting one another, and tail curling up against her body. He is trying so desperately to say what it is he wishes to that she cannot bring herself interrupt--even for his own health. Perhaps he will ask her to leave him to his fate and send her away. Or, perhaps King Thordan has found a way to coax Aymeric into his hold and plans to use one of the most precious things she has given him against her. Aymeric may even mean to share apologies that he can no longer fight as he wishes he would...

Her eyebrows lift in worry as he sits into a posture more like himself. She can see the all too familiar determined look of the Lord Speaker before her. Once he has spoken the words, however, is when her worried gaze finally turns into something else. Shock, relief, concern, and above all else--love. All the emotions collide into her expression at once. The towel is dropped and her hands reach out with only the slightest hesitation that she might cause him pain when it is the last thing she wishes.

Alkaid wraps her arms around him to pull him close. She holds onto him as she would if the circumstances were but normal for them. A long parting met with a reunion that both wish would be far more permanent. Her head tips down as she presses her nose into the top of his damp hair. The tail at her side uncurls to rest beside his own and her hold on him tightens.

A familiar sound leaves her, if his memories might serve him. One of relief and yet longing that came from her with their reunion in Gyr Abania. What can she say to him that will not cause the primal in his mind to clench his hold more? She has apologized so much already, begged him to stay, attempted to share how deeply she loves him. All of it is just words that seem to be on repeat and must surely lose their meanings now. ]

Stay. Please. I--[ Alkaid presses her nose further into his hair as her body begins to shake despite her screaming at it inside her mind not to. Tears press against her shut eyelids. How much longer will her time in Norvrandt haunt her? How many times must it whittle her down into a person he must surely not see as Lantaa? Even now, as he all but shouts that he is still fighting, she feels as if she might break apart. ]--I'm not certain how much of Lantaa will remain if you go so far away.

[ An incredible wave of shame washes over her as she finally admits to it. How much of who she is--the woman deep down under the adventurer and the Warrior of Light--can continue on after all of this? She is certain not much of 'Lantaa' would wish to remain on their star. Of course, she would always be that woman in some form as long as her sister walks along side her. Yet, she also knows, the things that drove her away from her clan and into the life she leads now would surely leave with Aymeric if he chooses to put an end to it. All that she would be is a Warrior of Light and some shade of a woman there long enough to make certain her sister and man she loves could find the happiness she couldn't.

Her fingers curl into his hair in an attempt to sooth herself and him. ]

I-I'm sorry, please, I shouldn't ask that of you... you, my brave knight, who carries the whole of the city he loves so dearly on his shoulders. You don't need my weight on top of that burden... you have enough you are fighting for... please, don't think of me poorly... forget I asked...

[thewayforpeace]

[ No matter the strain that settles in on him and causes his muscles to protest, Aymeric does not cease in his movements. She has remained patiently by his side throughout this entire ordeal thus far, and even when she begged him to stay with her, to not give up fighting, whether or not he was able to truly express it, her presence has given him hope.

So, it is quite clear in his mind that she does deserve whatever effort he can give, and more besides, no matter how much pain he winds up in because of it. Some things are worth sacrificing for, and whether he realizes it or not, he would make every sacrifice for her if that was needed.

When she pulls him close so that she might hold him, for just a moment, he stills, merely resting in her hold as the exhaustion that has been gradually rising sweeps over him once more. But he is not finished, not just yet. Although the effort causes his arms to shake and even though he cannot lift them very high, he manages to move his arms just enough so that they are resting on both sides of her hips.

Even the sound that she makes causes something to stir in the depths of his mind, and even though his thoughts are fettered by the enthrallment, a part of him recognizes it nonetheless, and he leans in somewhat awkwardly to press a light kiss to the only place he can reach given how they are positioned: the side of her neck.

It has taken some time for him to realize it, and he knows full well that his certainty may fade the moment the primal takes hold of him again, but he is resolved to keep fighting because of her and because he wishes to stay with her for the rest of their lives.

But how can he say it when he can barely speak? He shifts in her arms, nestling himself even closer to her as he tries to summon the willpower to speak just one more time.

As he rests in her arms, she might notice if she is looking closely enough that beneath the bruises decorating his skin, there is a roadmap of scars traveling across his torso and down his bared arms, marks leftover from his time as a Temple Knight waging war against the Dravanians.

Each one tells a different tale, but they are all part of the same story, and some are little more than thin white lines where claws or spines struck. Still others are larger and deeper, even though they are all fully healed by now.

Amidst the smaller scars, there is a larger one placed squarely in the center of his back, and it has not faded as much as the others. Instead, three slashes remain visible as if a dragon's claw lashed out and left deep scores on his back. The wounds have long since healed, of course, but the marks remain.

Finally, Aymeric moves once more, eyes briefly sliding shut as if responding to the feel of her fingers in his hair. But as before, they are quick to open again, and although he expended most of his strength in his desperate effort to speak to her, he still manages to tighten his hands around her hips with more strength in his grip than before.

As long as you wish for me to be... The words form in his mind, but then his voice takes over the rest. ]

I will be right here. [ Even if he has to fight off Thordan using every last bit of his strength, he has resolved to do as she has asked and stay with her.

I will not be leaving you. His eyes lock onto hers, not blinking or looking away, as if in hopes that she will somehow realize the resolve and certainty that has taken hold of him. ]