synthneon | echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

Going to those for who you know could aid is doing a part of the work. You are doing your part, Thisru.

[ A tired old smile touches his face as she throws herself at his chest. Old eyes close gently as his normal hand raises to the small of her back. His fingers gently rub the fabric there in order to comfort her as he rests his head against hers. Oh, how a part of his heart flutters at this. ]

I hope you would forgive me for such a selfish notion, but, I had hoped we would be able to share a dinner together. Over research, if need be. [ The Exarch's head tilts so he might press his forehead to her shoulder. ] While I know you disapprove of my methods, and always have, it is the path I have set myself upon. I would give whatever is necessary to aid you.

[ A gentle laugh comes from him as a hand raises to the back of her head.] I would ask that you share your burdens with me, be they large or small. Should you need a shoulder to rest or cry upon? Mine is certainly here as long as you need it.

T-that is, of course, if you would... I mean... we, ah, well...

[ He has yet to truly come to a decision if they are together. As an item. A pairing, if they would. He has loved her for a hundred years. Her affection is quite obvious and he does not deny it. He dare not think they are on the same level as the Lord Speaker and soon-to-be Viscountess... ]

[ She has never considered herself someone who is overly prone to outbursts of tears, choosing other ways of expressing her emotions, but no sooner does he say those words than her eyes seem to well up and in spite of herself, a tear falls from the corner of her eye.

Now her mouth begins to tremble in earnest as she tries desperately to keep her tears from spilling over. ] But is it enough? I should- [ She hiccups, and another tear falls. ] I should be doing more! I could go into Ishgard, into the city and see what the situation there is.

[ When the Exarch offers her that comforting gesture, she all but curls into him, still being careful to not cause him to lose his balance.

At his next words, the emotions she has been trying to hold inside finally break free, and the tears she has been holding back finally flow down her cheeks. ]

A dinner with you would- I would love that. [ She feels silly for being here next to him and crying like a younger kitten would, especially since she feels as though the image he projects is one of dignity that commands respect. And here she is, acting like a kitten crying over some silly disappointment. Never mind that the reason for her tears is not silly at all, but it feels worthy of embarrassment, at least in her mind.

And then she dips her head lower, as her tears continue to fall, but she lifts her free hand to scrub them away. ] If I told you everything that bothered me, I think you would get tired of hearing it before I could even finish.

[ Her method of coping has always been to rush on to the next challenge, the next fight, and if there is none to be found, then she might confide in her sister. It is not a displeasing notion at all that she might confide in the Exarch as well, and in spite of herself, a small smile crosses her face. ]

But... your shoulder is a comfortable place to cry on.

[ A stray tear falls then, and she wipes it away along with the others so that she might smile for him, even if it is a fairly watery one. ]

I haven't said it enough, but thank you.

And you most certainly will. Yet, you have tasked yourself with finding a way to cure the heart of the matter. While I am far from a soldier? One should have an ace up their sleeve. Imagine if we find a cure for tempering! It would nullify so many plans that the Ascians have set in motion. The possibilities would be quite endless--after all, the Allagans never found a cure...

[ He falls quiet as she continues. A gentle smile takes to his face as he notes to request dinner brought to the chambers. It is certainly rare, but, he imagines quite a few would have their eyes filled with stars at the chance to serve one of Norvrandt's heroes.

The Exarch gently eases her hair down. His fingers gently brush around her ears as well. ] And yet, you have aided in ways you could never fully see. Allow me the small chance to repay the favor and help ease your burdens, Thisru.

[ He chuckles lightly and a small blush touches his cheeks. ] There is never a need to thank me, for I am the one in your debt. And, I am surprised to hear my shoulder is comfortable at all.

[ For... obvious reasons. ]

But I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for the cure. I only came here because I thought you would know what to do, or that maybe you could talk with Krile and Alisaie and figure something out.

[ The knowledge that she has feels as though it is entirely useless in this situation, and so she would just as soon turn everything over to those with more knowledge than she has. ]

Do you think that it's possible?

[ She can't help but look at him with a hopeful expression in her eyes that maybe he'll say he already has an idea for what can be done.

As he brushes his fingers around her ears, they twitch, rising and falling in response to his touch. ] But that's just it: I'm a Warrior of Light, and I shouldn't be bothered like this.

[ In her mind, warriors are the strong ones, the ones who act as the support system for those who aren't as strong. At times, she finds herself questioning how truly strong she is, when things like primal summonings and tempering happens to good people who don't deserve to be affected so. ]

If I could just stay like this, I would. [ She shifts so that her head is resting against his shoulder, being mindful not to place too much of her weight on him, in case it becomes uncomfortable for him. ]

I highly doubt a cure exists, otherwise, we would have solved this very problem then and there. However, that does not mean a cure cannot exist. [ The Exarch smiles warmly at her then with his ears twitching as if to punctuate his point. ] The past is a starting point: a foundation in which we set ourselves upon. We must take it upon ourselves to carry the torch they have given us and see it to the end. If the Allagans left anything of their research behind? We will surely find it.

[ His hand moves to tilt her head up and he gives her a confident yet gentle smile. A far cry from what her sister may give, but, it is of his own charm. Well, what he thinks is charm. It may be quite different in reality. ]

If you were not bothered, would that not be worse? Who would wish a hero who has no care or feelings for those she protects? You are who you are, Thisru, and none would have you change for it.

[ He clears his throat. ] Well, I would not be one to tell a hero such as yourself what you could and could not do. My shoulder is ever at your need.

[ The confidence with which he speaks helps stir her own to life, and she reaches for his other hand to give it a firm but gentle squeeze. ]

I know we'll find it, and if there is anything I can do, even if it is carrying books or bringing things to you while you work, I'll do it.

[ She knows she won't be the one who finds the cure, or even implements it, but if she can assist in the effort at all, then she will do her best.

But at his next words concerning her, she lowers her head just a fraction, as if she feels undeserving of such sentiments. She has worked to keep her doubts about herself to herself, but at times, she finds herself wondering if who she is is truly enough.

She tilts her head to one side, pondering what he has just said, and the question slips out before she can stop it: ] Is it really all right with you, though? [ Perhaps he does not want her being so close to him. He might even find her actions too forward and uncomfortable. ]

[ The Exarch turns his hand in hers to squeeze in return. There is some small part of him - the much younger man beneath it all - that still marvels that she even looks at him. Of course, she had always paid attention to what he said and engaged with him before, but he is fairly certain all she saw was the young man searching for adventure and willing to rush head first into things. There was far from time for them to learn of one another outside of the mystery surrounding the Crystal Tower. Even then, he is certain he did little to garner much want for affections beyond that of fellow professionals.

The hand at her head gently presses down in a reassuring pat. It ... the small notion has such a sense of fulfillment now that he might perform it in person. ]

First, we must discover what the Crystal Tower holds in terms of information of anything in relation to Dalamud and Ayzs Lla. I very much doubt all the records will be kept here, as the Tower had become Amon's plaything. It may require that you do a fair amount of traveling once you return to Eorzea.

[ And then, a sadder smile takes his face then. One that speaks of longing to join her on said excursions. While he may yet be able to project himself? It is far different than breathing the same air that she does and feeling the same ground beneath his feet. ]

Of course it is. Why would I had offered if not? [ After a moment, the Exarch wraps his arms around the small of her back to gently hold her to him. ] While you and your sister were certainly the stars I allowed to guide my path? There was only one star in particular I truly wished to reach out and hold in my own arms. I see no reason as to not offer my shoulder, should you ever need it, if you allow me to indulge in the wishes from an old man.

[ She still regrets those early days in which she did not see him, viewing him only as another adventurer chasing excitement. But now that she does see him as someone with whom she wishes to share in life and all the adventures that come their way, she cannot help but view it all as making up for lost time.

She smiles in response to the way his hand presses against her head, ears flattening slightly with pleasure at the gesture. ]

I really think that there are others who would be a better assistant to you. So much of this flies right over my head. But if it's traveling that I have to do in order to help, of course I'll do it. [ If nothing else, she's good at taking direction and going off on errands. The Scions have certainly made use of that. ]

I know that I shouldn't ask, but will there be a time when you can come with me? [ A journey is better with two, after all, and she finds herself wishing to go on adventures with him.

But at his next words, her tail sways even as her ears flatten more as a blush creeps up her neck and rises to her cheeks. ]

Oh, but I'm nothing like a star. [ But she laughs lightly and smiles. ] I think that's more a word to describe my sister. [ Alkaid seems to have gravitated more towards the moon and stars, and that is why K'thisru says that. ]

Still, as long as you'll have me, I'll be whatever you need me to be.

[ He smiles at her, a slight twitch at the top of his ears. The tail hidden beneath the robes sways just a bit. Ah, how he would travel with her if he could. Not yet... not yet. ]

I am hardly needing of an assistant. Company, however, most certainly. Not to mention an overseer to make certain the research we find is of the kind needed to give to your fellow Scions.

[ A pause is given to her question. Then, a smile in his face. ] Worry not, Thisru. When all of this is said and done, I will have a favor to ask of you. And, should everything work as it ought to, we will see to the possibility of joining you.

[ He chuckles. Both are stars in his mind. Ones that even though he has reached out to? He will not be able to catch in his palms. At least, however, the stars have reached down to him. ]

You need not be more than who you are. That is all I would ever ask.

[ She tilts her head to one side, ears lifting slightly, indicating her desire to be his companion and to give him the company that he surely must not have much of. She is fully aware that soon, she will have to take her leave of him, because necessity demands it, but the more selfish part of her wishes she could stay. ]

I'll happily keep you company for as long as I can. And, well, as for favors, you could ask for a hundred of them and I'd try and give them all to you.

[ In some ways, it feels strange how much she wishes to help him and do what she can for him, but at the same time, she isn't questioning it very much. ]

So, give me a task to do, if you know where we should begin.

[ Ruby eyes glance at the ears atop her head that lift up. An embarrassed smile takes his face then. He has had company enough these many long years. Of course, he would certainly not rebuff her company. He would ask that she stay in Norvrandt longer as well, but if they could yet cure tempering? That alone would be worth their temporary separation.]

Even after everything?

[ The smile on his face turns sad. There is no doubt the horrors the two sisters have had to face have left their marks: physical and invisible. How she might yet stand his presence, let alone wish to be close to him, truly is amazing in his mind. The Exarch shyly rubs his crystal arm. ]

First, we should start with acquiring a meal. We might be researching this for some time tonight. And, I would hate to garner the ire of your sister for not having care for you while you are here...

[ Her expression shifts again, turning just a little bit more pensive as she thinks back to everything that has happened and the horrifying things that both she and her sister have lived through. Of course she knows that neither she nor her sister are unfazed, and a part of them may never be the same again, but at the same time, she knows she does not wish to carry a grudge or even hatred for the man in front of her.

She shakes her head, and although her ears lower just slightly, she still manages a smile for his benefit. ]

I could be angry or upset, but I don't think that's what I want to do. [ She chooses this moment to reach for his crystal hand so that she can give it a fond squeze. ]

I'd like that. [ To spend any amount of time with him is something she most certainly wants, and to share a meal with him is something she would gladly do. ]

Ah, well, you are certainly within your rights to be cross, upset, even furious with me. There was much I had left unsaid or unexplained throughout the course of your time here. I would not expect you to forgive me for some time yet.

[ The hand still made of flesh raises to gently touch her cheek. Then, he pulls it away in sudden a turn of sudden shyness. A part of him will always feel as if it is not his place to touch her in a way that one could see as intimate. The hand she takes, however, squeezes hers in return as his head tucks down. The white tinged hairs do little to hide the complicated expression that takes his face.

He sighs and shakes his head at himself. ]

Then, we shall gather what we can and bring it back to the Ocular. [ The Exarch reaches for his staff. At first all seems well, but the moment he attempts to put weight on the leg that crystal has begun to travel down the back of? His ears stand on end and a low grunt of pain escapes up. ] Ah... I may need your assistance. If it would not be too much trouble, Thisru.

[ Even as he's speaking, she's shaking her head. ] It wasn't reassuring seeing our friends like that, but you had your reasons, didn't you?

[ Even now, she's still doing her best to understand him and the things that he did, and that is taking the edge off any anger she might have had.

She has become slightly more thoughtful in her words and actions of late, but when he pulls his hand away from her, she does something quite impulsive: she gently grabs hold of it with her own hand and pulls it back towards her. ]

Don't think you can't or shouldn't touch me. [ There's a slight admonition in her words, but she's smiling at him nonetheless.

That smile fades quickly when she sees his ears stand up and hears his grunt, and without hesitation, she tightens the hold she has on his hand and her other arm moves to circle around his waist in case he needs the added support there as well. ]

You really need to stop pushing yourself so hard.

[ A tired smile is given to her as she aids him in standing. Truthfully, he should send her to fetch dinner for the pair of them. Then, he remembers how much of his life is owed to her and how much he had already asked of her and her sister. Saving the First to avert the Eighth Umbral Calamity most certainly means he should not ask anything more of the pair.

One hand clutches onto the staff to give him leverage. The other, at her own insistence, raises to gently rest on the side of her face. His ears twitch lightly at the notion of possibly being closer to her than colleagues or allies. Most certianly they have crossed some of those boundaries already. However, he would not impose nor insist... ]

I do what is required of me. I am quite certain you and your sister push yourselves further than any other. [ The Exarch's smile turns gentler then. ] I had my reasons... yes, I most certainly did. Yet, one must still hold me accountable for the errors and faults in my plan.

[ His head turns upwards to look at the crystal and gold ceiling. ] There had been other attempts before I resorted to the Calling. Those times I met you in Ishgard? They had been my very first. However, I found myself far too early from your point of view. One can hardly speak of the Eighth Umbral Calamity during the time of the Dragonsong War without causing a panic.

No. In fact, the timing had to be just right. If I had spoken to you or your sister too early of events? It could of very well hastened the events on the Source, thereby making the state of the First spiral further into a Rejoining. Although... I admit... I may have done well to try one more time to cast my soul to the Source.

[ Then, an embarrassed smile touches his face as his ears move up and down. ]

And, I had not intended to bring the Scions here as well. While it all worked for the better? It was you and your sister that were the only ones meant to come.

[ Knowing what she knows now, she can hardly begrudge him for any of the choices he made. And although a part of her still remains somewhat put out by the timing of it all, above all of that, she knows that he was rather desperate, and also that time was of the essence. So, to that end, obtaining dinner for them both is the very least she could do for him. ]

One day, I hope that you'll actually take the time to rest, because it seems to be that you don't do that enough. [ And a thought springs to mind then that she is quick to push away, because it is too forward even for her, and she wonders if he would even want such a thing. ]

I imagine if you had mentioned that to me during our meetings in Ishgard, I might have looked at you a little strangely. Or a lot, I suppose. [ The smile she gives him is warm, but there is a note of teasing in it as well. ]

If we had been overheard, that wouldn't have gone well for anyone.

[ She tilts her head to one side as if pondering his words. ] I think that you and the Scions got along quite well, considering they were never meant to come to the First. And from what I've heard from Alphinaud and Alisaie, at least, I think they are glad they met you, even if- Well, even if Alisaie might not say so out loud.

[ The Exarch would not rebuff any and all critism given to him. Her ire is more than deserved. Summoning the Scions as he had, not bring forthcoming of all his plans, asking her and her sister to carry so much for Norvrandt. A sad look crosses his face as he is aware that there was no small amount of emotional damage done to them.

His hand moves to rest underneath her chin. ]

When all that has been tasked of me is done? I would very much like to rest. Then, travel with you, if you would allow it.

[ A simple shrug is given. ] I imagine Alisaie will hold me that well into eternity. She is not one to let go of things easily.

[ Then, he pauses. He forces himself to stand straight in order to.look down at her as he might normally. ]

I... have to far not asked the state of you and your sister. I had figured I was not worthy of asking. But, tell me, how have the pair of you been since we have avoided the Eighth Umbral Calamity? The First has not been without its horrors and revelations. And, I would not think less of either of you if what I had asked of you left deep scars. In fact, I would find myself responsible and ask if there is anything I might yet do to help either of you...

[ It's not really part of her nature as she sees it to hold a grudge. Oh, there are those that she despises with a passion, but those are ones she considers enemies, who have no good inside them at all. The Exarch is not one of those, as far as she is concerned. He might have caused trouble for them all, and literal headaches for her and her sister, but she does not think of him as anything less than good.

It's to that end that she finally asks the question that's been on her mind. ] Do you think that sometime... [ Her nerve almost fails her then, but she does her best to push through. ] Do you think that we might be able to talk and rest together?

[ She has kept her thoughts concerning him largely to herself, because there never seemed to be a good time to admit that she had had a softening of sorts towards him, and now she wants to get to know him better and spend time with him, if he is agreeable.

She has never really developed a nervous habit of her own, but now that the question is out there, she twists her fingers together in almost the same way that her sister does when she is nervous.

She knows that he has asked a question about their well-being, but she decides to wait until she has heard his response to give an answer herself. ]

[ Her question causes him to pause, ears gently raising at it. Rest could mean several different things and he imagines she does not mean those that could be seen as intimate. Instead, he rather sees that she might wish to simply sit and talk. Much has happened, and, well, he has lived a considerable amount of years more than her. No doubt her traveler and adventurer heart wishes to learn of Norvrandt the last one hundred years.

The Exarch gives her a gentle smile. His ruby eyes turn upwards to the crystal ceiling once more. ]

For all the amazement that the Allagans used to build the Crystal Tower? It's functions are still limited by what it can process. There are limitless bounds of energy, but the technology can only locate, sort, and bring the information to us in a span of time. Perhaps, because, that was never it's true purpose.

[ Then, he turns his gaze to her with a warm smile. ] So, I believe we might have a brief respite while we wait and have dinner. Perhaps a longer one if what we require needs further research on the Tower's part.

...Might I ask why? Have you not had enough rest upon returning to the Source? [ His normal hand reaches out to cover her nervous ones with his. ] If so, I can certainly arrange for hour room to be restored once we've finished our research...

[ A hint of color forms at the base of her neck and creeps upwards as her embarrassment only rises. Of course she knows that her choice of words meant something other than merely sitting and talking. She wishes for something slightly more intimate, even if she is far too afraid to put that request into words. And truly, what she desires most is for them to lie next to each other, not necessarily doing anything but resting and talking as they are able. She has told herself she doesn't deserve more than that, but if he were to grant her that much, she would consider herself quite fortunate indeed.

Still, she finds herself unable to give voice to those desires. ]

Truthfully, even though I know we have no time to waste, that there are those who are desperately in need of help, I wouldn't mind having a longer respite. [ With you, she almost adds, stopping herself at the last moment. ]

Oh, I've had more than enough rest. I don't need a room. But- Well... [ She scuffs her foot lightly on the ground. ] You asked how Alkaid and I are doing...

[ She crosses her arms and her gaze falls to stare at the ground as she tries to think about how best to respond. ]

Edited 2022-03-20 09:08 (UTC)

[ The Exarch's eyes move over her blonde hair. He can recall that her hair had been blonde when they first met, all those years beneath the Crystal Tower. So much so that it was a shock to see her darkened hair in Ishgard. Yet, now, it had not only returned to its natural color but brightened as well. The same had happened to her sister, of course, and both act as a reminder to him of what he asked of them. A permanent sign that avoiding the Eighth Umbral Calamity had left more scars than it could show. ]

Time is not wasted if it is spent while we wait on technology. Technology, might I add, that is far beyond what Eorzea is capable of. One can only push things as fast as they might. [ His head tilts slightly at her answer and he nods. ] Then, might we set about getting dinner, and we can discuss the rest as the Tower combs through the archives stored within it?

[ She recognizes the wisdom in his words, and so she nods in agreement. ]

I- Well, I don't actually know where your stores of food come from. [ She has seen enough of the place to see the various vendors and merchants, but it still seems to her that life here is not a cushy affair even now. And a part of her would hate to take from those who call Norvrandt and the Crystarium home. ] But if you're hungry, I would be happy to bring you something, and we can continue talking while you eat.

[ He chuckles gently. ] The tavern outside of the Pendants should be able to provide all we would need.

[ The Exarch turns slowly, enough to garner her attention to move with him. His footsteps are slow as he tests his weight on his leg. The newly formed crystal still feels raw to move, but, he is slow and does his utmost to be careful. ]

The people of the Crystarium would not see one of their heroes go hungry. Now that the First is settled, saved, and night returned? There will be plenty of food for all. I am quite certain they would even refuse for a Warrior of Darkness pay for a meal.

Edited 2022-03-28 06:48 (UTC)

[ She gives him a look as if wondering if she should protest more, but he seems fairly resolute as he does with most things that he says. Still, she watches him carefully because she isn't sure if he should be walking unaided. ]

Do you need help walking? [ She does not want him thinking that she thinks he can't manage on his own, but she does worry about him.

But at what he says next, she rubs her hand against the back of her head, a little embarrassed. ]</small I think that I have told you this before, but I don't feel like a hero.

Well... truthfully... I could use the aid. [ He gives a bashful smile and glances away. ] Just until we transport to the bottom of the Tower. The short walk from the aether shard to the tavern should not be too difficult.

[ The Exarch pauses at her statement. His hand is reached out towards her. ] Might I... may I ask why not?

[ The door opening to the quarters to the side of the Ocular turns his attention. There stands Lyna, oh, ever vigilant Lyna. Her eyes widen at the sight of the two and dashes over. The Exarch forces a smile for her and attempts to ease her concerns. The captain, however, is quite obviously not buying his story. She gives a frustrated sigh. ]

He is ever the handful, is he not? [ Lyna sighs and looks to K'thisru with a worried smile. ] Stay here and I will fetch dinner. Someone needs to look over our lord to make sure he does not overextended himself further.

I am fine, I assure you!

[ The Exarch stands to his full height even as hid leg quakes under the weight. Clearly his last show of strength does not impress his adopted daughter. She turns and leaves the room, the closing of the doors echoing in the Ocular.

He sighs, looking back down to the Warrior of Darkness at his side. ] It would seem we have even more time to converse now.

Edited 2022-03-30 02:47 (UTC)

echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

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