synthneon | echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

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echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

song of hope

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

Tales of loss and fire and faith
Every word on our hearts engraved
In the dark you will not stray
Forge ahead, till the end, we prayCODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[ Similarly, he is trying to navigate his own storm of emotions that her words are bringing back to life. He does not wish to let them take hold, because his priority in this moment is her, and assisting her in drifting back to the sleep that she needs. With one hand, he begins to lightly stroke her ear, hoping that the action will soothe her and send her off to sleep once more. ]

I did, yes. [ Perhaps halfway intentionally, because at the time, he lacked the strength to hold himself up when the shackles were removed. His condition was not so dire, as he maintains, but it was rather the shock of everything that had happened and how quickly the situation unraveled that left him feeling rather weak and unable to maintain his usual posture. But at the same time, that he embraced her was a mark of his gratefulness at being rescued. Even now, he remains grateful to her and the rest of his friends for coming to his aid and freeing him from his cell. ]

I am safe, Lantaa. You do not need to fear about that, and... And you certainly do not need to love me from afar. I am yours, after all, and I certainly hope that you remain here in Ishgard.

[ He realizes now that the details of their relationship and how they have advanced seem to have slipped from her sleeping mind, and so he simply decides to follow her lead and offer the reassurances that she seems to need. ]

I'm right here. [ He continues to stroke her ear, and his other hand moves to lightly stroke the side of her face. ] Go back to sleep. I will not be leaving your side.

[ The notion that her sister would not wish to wander the world forever comes to no surprise to him, yet he does not make that fact known on his face or in words. If she had been willing to marry a political figure, then, she had the desire to settle at one point. Perhaps it was the slight age difference, or even more likely, she had found one she wished to settle with. He wonders then if K'thisru has simply yet to find that person. That, or, perhaps she will continue to travel till the end of her days. ]

Have the two of you spoken of this already? Or, have you two merely assumed the answer of one another?

[ His gaze drops to his arm. ] Once it has settled into the crystallized form? No, it does not. The turning, however, can be rather ...unpleasant.

[ Her ear lightly twitches under his touch as it always does. Then, the tension she held from her dream seems to ebb away as she melts against him once more. Her knight; the one she had once thought she may never be able to call him out loud.

At his confirmation of events, her tail gives a lazy sway. Perhaps she will never share her side of the events. While she had already come to an understanding that she loved him? Alkaid was unsure if she should ever share those feelings. Perhaps he had no interest in a Warrior of Light the same way. Or, perhaps, he might have been far too busy with the state of affairs to even bother with her affections. All those thoughts has gone from her mind the moment he embraced her in the Vault. Her ears and tail had stood on end, with her arms wrapping around him to help steady him. At least, that was what she would have told anyone who asked. She was far more selfish in the notion, wishing to take the moment to comfort and enjoy his hold as she might never again. It was to be a moment she treasured to herself and remembered as a single incident--until he had kissed her the first time. Had none others been around, she would have inclined her head against his and held him how she deeply wished to.

A smile touches her face as she begins to drift deeper back into her sleep. Her tail still sways slightly. Alkaid places her head back to his shoulder as her ears give another sleep driven twitch. ]

I love you. [ The words are partially mummbled but they still come from her heart.

Finally, she drifts back to sleep.

Hours pass before she properly begins to wake. Her eyes open, with her tail stretching out. She would stretch further, but she is aware Aymeric still holds her and does not wish to disturb him. Alkaid raises her two-toned gaze to him and smiles gently. The morning sun begins to come through the windows, but, the clouds still hide it. The storm lingers outside.

The hand at her chest uncurls and brushes the bangs from his face. ]

[ Whether she shares her side of events with him or not, it does not change his resolve to never leave her side unless she tells him herself that she wishes for a parting. And given the many interactions they have had thus far and the declarations they have made stating the love they have for eahch other, he is beginning to believe she will never do that.

Finally, he notes that she is beginning to drift back to a deeper sleep, and a quiet sigh of relief escapes him. She needs the sleep, and he hopes that this time, it is a dreamless one. Even so, he is resolved to stay with her and hold her until she awakens once more.

The hours pass and he too manages to nod off, falling into a doze. When he fell asleep, his head also tipped forward slightly, perhaps betraying the notion that he also needed sleep.

It takes him a few more minutes to rouse from his slumber, but the feeling of her hand brushing at his bangs causes him to smile even though he has not yet fully awoken. Another moment passes and his eyes open just a crack, and then they open the rest of the way. Once his vision clears and he can properly see, he realizes she is also awake and is looking at him. ]

Lantaa, how long have you been awake? [ He smiles, glad to see that she is also smiling. ] How was your rest? [ Better, he hopes, after her dreams subsided... if they did, at any rate. ]

Not very long. [ Her smile spreads at the sight of his. ] It seems as if you managed some sleep as well.

[ Her dreams remained, but, they were more of memories than anything else. Memories and perhaps wishes that they shared their feelings with one another sooner. She knew, on some level in her sleep, that he was beside her with his arms wrapped around her. That alone made her dreams calmer and gentler than they had been in some time.

Alkaid gently nudges his chin with her nose. While their situation and location have not slipped her mind? She has missed waking up along side him and spending the early morning hours talking or just enjoying his company. ]

Are you well? Does anything need tending to?

I could be wrong, but I always thought that Alkaid wanted to one day put down roots. I think that she likes to travel and to help the people that she meets, but she wants to have a home of her own.

We have talked about what we both want in the future, but it's hard for me to picture a future apart from being a Scion.

[ She truly would not mind retiring from the Scions but remaining a Warrior of Light, but having more freedom to travel where and when she wishes to. For now, though, it seems as though there is still much she can do as a member of the Scions. ]

Does anything help with the turning? [ She wonders if another's touch would at least provide some comfort, or ease the unpleasantness of the process. ]

[ He shakes his head at her question, his smile turning warmer and gentle as he surveys her. In his mind, she is the one who needs tending, not himself, but he would not give away the fact that he overheard her speaking in her sleep. ]

Not at the present, but thank you. [ He can, however, disguise it as his usual concern and care for her. ] And are you well? How might I tend to you?

[ He leans in just slightly so that he can nudge his nose against hers. ]

Ah, I see. Perhaps her time in Gridania made her far more of a home body? [ He offers the comment in a light jest. Perhaps it has simply how the two sisters have always differed. ] Thus, setting down permanent roots not quite what you wish for. It certainly does leave you without a traveling companion, for whenever she decides she has had her fill.

[ The Exarch refrains from further comments. It is quite obvious that the future her sister wishes for has fallen into jeopardy now that the man she is betrothed to is tempered. While he would not claim a stake or a part in solving tempering? The Exarch will gladly do all that he can to give a future desired by his heroes. They, after all, have given him one when one should not exist. ]

And, given what I have seen of the Scions here on the First, none would travel in such a way. They are far more concerned with their own affairs.

[ He looks down at his mispaired hands. Oh, how he longs to travel with her. Such a thing might seem impossible, and yet, he has taken steps in order to return to the Source. The same way in which the Scions returned... but it would require his younger self to take the memories and knowledge into himself.

Even then, who is to say K'thisru would wish him as a traveling companion? She had rebuked him once, as a younger man, and "like" is far from what he feels for her. Rather, it is not a deep enough word for it. ]

None that I have found. Although, [ A sheepish expression takes his face then, ] I admittedly have not done much to look into such a thing.

Edited 2022-06-27 01:36 (UTC)

[ Her cheeks puff slightly at his usual tactic of redirection. Still, she does not press it. She instead nudges his nose in return and smiles. Gods, she missed this. ]

I am, for the moment. [ Exhaustion is still in her gaze simply by how much aether she has used recently. ] What might the Lord Speaker of Ishgard do for me... hmm.

[ She pretends to think a moment.]

Staying in bed sounds rather nice.

You speak with resolve, at any rate, so I am inclined to believe you. You would know better than I, certainly. [ Ysayle's thoughts and knowledge are limited to what she saw and experienced before her death, and so everything else that followed is more or less a mystery to her. ] It would seem that they are. I must admit that I did not know what to make of them at first, and-

[ She shakes her head. Now is not the time for her confessions. The time for that has long since passed. ]

Then I will remain hopeful that whatever happens continues to be a good thing for him and for you. [ But then she laughs a dry sort of laugh. ]

My heroism, if that is what it can be called, came too late in so many ways. Would that I had had my eyes opened to the truth earlier.

[ Still, her lips turn up into a small smile as she settles herself down next to him. She certainly does understand his gestures, interpreting them as those belonging to a man who does not let people in so easily nor express kindness with ease. Perhaps he might not let her in even now, because what would be the point? Her time has also passed, and there might still be someone in the land of the living who could catch his attention and his heart.

At the very least, she seeks to offer him her companionship, and perhaps receive even the smallest amount of companionship in return. ]

What shall we speak of now? Or shall we simply maintain a companionable silence?

[ He truly does not wish to draw attention to himself, especially since he believes he is no more deserving of it than anyone else. The truly impressive and astonishing people are the ones like Alkaid and her sister, and the likes of Alphinaud and Estinien, who have all been through so much and come out of it much stronger. Oh, he is aware that Alkaid thinks he is strong in his own right, but he maintains that what he has been through pales in comparison to all the trials that she has had thrown at her.

So the reason for his deflection is both simple and complex all at the same time. Now, however, is not the time for dwelling on such things, and when she nudges his nose, he cannot stop the smile that forms. ]

You have but to name it, whatever it might be, and you can consider it done.

[ He already is a servant to her, if he might say so himself: a willing servant who wishes only to love her and do for her anything and everything she might need.

His smile grows at her next statement, and he is quick to nod. ]

Then we shall do just that. [ And to punctuate the statement, he leans in to brush a kiss against her cheek. ]

[ She would never ask him to serve her as a servant or someone lesser than her. He is her equal. He may see himself as unworthy, but in her mind? Aymeric is the one that shines the brightest out of any she has ever met on their star. He is the source of her strength and her inspiration. Without him, she doubts that she could achieve what she has, even spanning as far back as their time in the Dragonsong War.

Her eyes light up at his response. Her ears perk and her tail raises. A gleeful sound comes from her at his kiss. Both arms wrap around his neck and she rolls onto her back, pulling him along with her. Her nose nudges against the side of his. Alkaid practically beams up at him, tail all but wagging. Then, her gaze slips from a beam to a gentle smile.

She had feared they might never be able to be like this again. Which is why her hands cup his face. ]

I love you, Aymeric.

[ Her response is just to nod slowly, because in all honesty, when the day comes that her sister finally retires from traveling, she is unsure what exactly she will do with herself: continue traveling, perhaps, but the prospect of doing so alone is not exactly appealing. Not that she intends to tell Alkaid as much, because they are both free to go their separate ways.

And of course, as the Exarch as thought, now is not the time for plans for the future. There may not even be a future if the worst happens and Aymeric cannot be recovered. K'thisru vastly prefers being hopeful to being a realist, especially in the case of her sister and Aymeric, but even so, that thought has entered her mind. ]

They do travel, but only when tasked to go somewhere or when it relates to whatever they are working on. [ She nods her agreement with his assumption. ]

I see. So if nothing helps with that, then... [ Healing him obviously will not do any good, as he seems resolved to continue on with his charge and his mission, but there is a part of her that wishes she or someone else could take his place. ] Would a rub or a massage help with the discomfort?

[ She knows full well how that sounds and that he might be put off by the offer, but she makes it regardless. ]

[ Oh, but he would gladly serve her whether she asked him to or not. He feels as though there is very little he can do that would truly benefit her, and the only thing he can give her is his love. He would give up anything for her, including his very life if it came down to it, but it goes without saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. And, naturally, when her path takes her so far away from him, there are little opportunities for him to protect her as he feels he must.

But when she is home or by his side wherever they are, he finds himself thinking of ways that he might serve her.

As for now, it does his heart good to see how her eyes light up and how she responds to him. He lets her pull him down without hesitation, although he is mindful of how he positions himself as she rolls onto her back. When her hands slide into place against his face, he smiles at her, the love in his eyes unmistakable. ]

And I love you, with everything that I have.

[ The Exarch intends to do everything in his power to see a hopeful future come true. The sisters have worked miracles for all of them, and now he can finally return the favor. While it may have the direct effect of saving Ser Aymeric? The prospect of curing tempering as a whole... it truly is a marvel in his mind. ]

Ah, ever duty bound. Adventuring for the thrill of it... [ he nods in understanding. He looks back to with a gentle smile. ] There could be a way to aid the pain, I simply have not thought to look into it.

[ His ears bend down slightly as he raises his hand to his crystal arm. ] If you have a rub or something in mind, you are welcome to try.

[ Suddenly, the conversation about the Scions and all worries she has for Aymeric and her sister flee from her mind. She has not forgotten about them, at least not as far as her sister and the man she loves are concerned, but the Exarch's words are still ringing in her ears.

She thought he would dismiss her: politely, of course, but it would still be a dismissal. Her ears spring up once and then fold back down against her head. ]

Oh, I- I thought that maybe I could try and rub your arm, that it might help... [ What a silly idea in hindsight, she says to herself. ] But that was a silly thought to have, wasn't it?

[ Silly and too forward, as always. ]

[ Alkaid's gaze softens suddenly. Her hands cup his face then, gaze unbreaking from his. The realization strikes that she had almost lost this. Not merely being awake with him in bed in the morning, but the gaze he meets hers with such intensity. She bites her lip and closes her eyes, pressing her nose to his as the sudden wave of emotions hits her intensely. ]

I missed you.

[ I missed this.

Despite her best efforts, a hint of fear creeps into her gaze. She had never once feared losing him before. There was always a security that he would be in Ishgard, or surrounded by those that could protect him. Even placed in the hands of those that could heal him if she could not. ]

[ The Exarch would never dismiss or push her away. Perhaps he is simply inept at truly explaining his feelings, no matter how hard he tries. Ironic, truly, considering his time pouring over books and stories. He might do well in explaining things as a historian and an Archon... but naught much else. What other words might he use to explain how much he loves her and wishes that there be no space between them? Ah, a fools hope, in the end. She is a Warrior of Light and destined to do far greater things than he could ever dream of. Adventures to have ... even if his idea were to truly come to fruition.

His ruby eyes cast once more to the screens that stretch to the ceiling with his arm remaining stretched out to hers. There is truly no point in dwelling over it all. His mission was a success and now there is one he might help her with. His attention should be on such a thing, letting her rest as he waits for the Tower to pull the information they search for. ]

You, as ever, are free to do as you would like, Thisru. [ The Exarch forces a smile for her, tucking away emotions better left to himself. ] One may never know the outcome of things until they try it.

[ A similar wave of emotions sweeps over him that he can no more control than push aside. If she missed him, then the depth of his own feelings of missing her must be equal to it. Because it seems to him that they are part of each other and cannot imagine being apart, nor do they wish to, regardless of how often they must.

But because of that, the times that they are together are even more special. ]

I- Well, I cannot promise to never be separated from you again, but so long as we are together, I promise to hold onto you as tightly as I can. And should a threat arise with the intent to pull us apart, I shall fight against it as best as I am able.

[ He did his best to do so when held under Thordan's thrall, but part of him still fears that it was not truly his best. ]

I wish only to be by your side, or at the very least, to be in your thoughts when our paths diverge.

There is being separated... then there is what happened... [ Her two-toned eyes close. ] You did fight, Aymeric. You fought so hard...

[ No blame or anger is in her gaze even as she speaks of it. Only love mixed with a fear of losing him when she thought he would be far safer than her and her sister on their travels. It is truly a realization of how naive she had been; believing all would be safe in Ishgard now that the War had concluded and that the Ascians had, for the most part, been taken care of. Aymeric now being a politician rather than a soldier is not a safer option; perhaps it puts him into even more danger...

Alkaid presses her nose to his once more in response. ]

You are in my thoughts. Always. Wherever I go, whatever I see and do, you are always there.

[ Then, she tilts her head to kiss him tenderly. ]

[ He still has a long way to go towards addressing his thoughts and feelings concerning his tempering, not to mention the fear he has that it might happen to him again. If it does, and if he retains any sense of self at all, he would just as soon ask Estinien for one final favor than remain in that state once more. But then again, there exists a cure for it now, and they have far more hope now because of it.

Still, the very thought of being enslaved again is more than he can bear to think about. Rather than answer her with words, his actions seem to do the talking insted; in spite of himself, his face falls even in the face of the love in Alkaid's own gaze. Naturally, he is aware that he cannot let fear control him, but he has yet to fully deal with his fears and find a way to move past them.

In time, however, he finds his voice once more. ]

I must admit that when your steps take you far from home, I find solace in what belongings you have left behind. The visual reminder of you- it bolsters my faith that you will return when your duties allow. And, of course, letters that you send when you are able are very precious to me as well.

[ When she kisses him, he is quick to lean into the kiss, and as always, when the two of them meet together in such an action, it is enough to send all of his churning thoughts and emotions away from him, at least for a time. Instead, all that fills his mind and heart is thoughts of love for her. ]

Edited 2022-07-07 22:06 (UTC)

[ Her gaze softens as his expression falls. Of course, why would he not be afraid? He was the one that was tempered. While it seems he cannot recall the exact memories of what he might have said or did? There is no doubt in her mind that he does not recall feelings, inclinations. Alkaid has already decided she will not ask or prod, and instead let him speak of it when and if he truly is ever ready to. Which is why, instead, she simply brushes her fingers along his cheekbones.

No doubt rests in her mind that Estinien would fulfill the promise between the pair of them. However, she cannot bear to think of it. Estinien would refuse to do the deed in front of the Scions. Even then, the thoughts and images her mind conjures are distressing enough. Nightmares already plague her of the potentiality of losing Aymeric to Black Rose, but, the idea of losing him to being tempered once more...

A breath catches in her throat and she wills herself not to let the water gathering in her eyes fall. ]

Then I will need to leave more things at home for you, and send you far more letters. [ Her tail hits the bed beneath them to vent the emotions she refuses to let out. ] I will always return home, no matter where my charges take me. You are home, Aymeric...

[ Then, she barely manages a smile. ] I only remove my engagement ring when I bathe. Otherwise, it is always with me. Not just to remind me that we will be together--but, because it is a gift from you. It's the only thing I have to look down at and feel you beside me when I'm so very far away.

[ Her thoughts, however, do not melt away as they might normally when they kiss. Her eyebrows knit together and she attempts to pull him closer. Alkaid has asked for very little in her life, and now all she can think is to ask that her love remains with her. That somehow, she will be able to put the mantle of Warrior of Light down, and join him at his side. All she asks of their patron goddesses, Hydaelyn, whoever might be listening that he be left for her.

The familiar feeling from the night before strikes her hard. Longing, loneliness, an hole inside her left from ancient times. It causes a familiar sound of distress to come forward, but she attempts to bury it by deepening their kiss. He could be pulled away at any moment--as they are still in Monument Tower with a mission to complete--and it only helps to strive the sudden vortex of emotions inside her.

Don't go where I can't--don't leave me alone here. ]

Edited (few more details) 2022-07-08 09:41 (UTC)

[ Or perhaps she has been too blinded by her need to find adventure to truly slow down and see that he has been right in front of her for quite some time now. Part of her still feels that she could never hold a candle to him, and yet she would be lying if she said her thoughts and feelings are not beginning to turn a little bit at a time. ]

Are you sure? I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. [ But in spite of herself, she gives his arm a hesitant rub, as if waiting to see if he likes it or will ask her to refrain rather than continue. ] I don't have healing magic like my sister does, or I would try to ease things for you that way.

When one has lived with discomfort for a century? Believe me when I say that your company soothes many aches. The discomfort is of my own actions and choices.

[ At her gentle rub, his eyes involuntarily close. The tips of his ears give a small twitch, and underneath all the robes, his tail flicks as well. A jolt of electricity goes up his arm, surprising him that he even has sensation left in what has become crystal. Still, the motions are comforting, and it takes his willpower to not to relax entirely on her. ]

Has she never taught you the art? [ The Exarch is surprised more than anything. ] Still, not all healing comes from magic we possess. I would wager that sometimes the simple act of caring can heal many wounds.

[ There is so much he has not talked about or even thought about, and he knows full well that he cannot keep pushing aside the things he needs to process. It seems to him that there is no good time for it, and that is the main reason he has yet to even start. What else troubles him about beginning to sort through his thoughts on the matter is that he does not wish to burden Alkaid with more than he already has. He knows he has placed more than enough upon her, and considering how she already has her own troubles, the last thing he intends to do is give her more.

His eyes slide closed as her fingers brush along his cheekbones, and he tries desperately to regain some of his usual control and poise. He is not blind to her emotions or to how it seems she is close to tears. He shakes his head once. ]

I would not ask you to nor expect you to simply because I have developed this habit. However, if you desire to send letters as you are able, I can accept that.

[ He will not have her inconveniencing herself by leaving her belongings behind for his benefit. ]

Perhaps it is I who should gift to you more of my belongings so that you have something else to look upon when we are far apart. Anything that I own is, by my reckoning, yours, so if there is anything that you desire to have- by all means, take it.

[ So far as he is concerned, what he once thought of as his possessions now are theirs, and nothing is off-limits for her in his mind.

When they join together in a kiss, he not only deepens it, but he does not pull away from her even when many minutes have passed. Perhaps he sensees that she needs this: their closeness and the opportunity to feel each other: to know that they are together and for the moment, nothing shall separate them.

Duty and responsibility will surely surface again, and quicker than they would like, but until then, he intends to kiss the woman he loves. ]

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echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

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