synthneon | FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

[ The slight hesitation, although it is barely significant, makes him wonder if perhaps this was a wrong supposition on his part. Perhaps she does not wish for his company while she bathes, and it was too forward of him to think that she might.

If you would rather have quiet while you bathe, I shall withdraw, of course. I merely thought that I would inquire, but if you are well and have everything you need, then I will see you at dinner.

[ Once he has found a way to settle his now very unsettled nerves. ]

[ Her ears twitch at the end at his reply, given they already stand on end. ]

N-no! Please, I don't mind. [ She can feel her cheeks flush hotter. Why does she feel so shy when she was the one that originally posed the idea? Alkaid inhales and swallows her nerves. ] After all, we had decided on it already...

[ Though, now she feels as if she has over stepped by bringing their earlier conversation up. She presses her lower face to her arms, eyes on the door as she waits. Her ears lower slightly and her tail curls under the water as she waits. ]

[ He has already halfway turned from the door, ready to retire to his own room, or perhaps his study, until dinner is prepared, but at the very last minute, he hears her voice, and he stops in his tracks.

He would be lying to himself if he said he did not wish wholeheartedly to sit beside her and talk with her more, so it is that wish that leads him to open the door and slowly step through it.

But now that he is in the room, what is he to say? He clears his throat once, hoping that the words will eventually come. ] I hope that your bath is to your liking.

[ How easily he falls into the role of Ser Aymeric, lord of this manor, when he is unsure of himself and what he ought to say. But if anyone can put him at ease again, he knows by now that it is her. Perhaps one day, he will not be so quick to fall back into his old formal ways. ]

Edited 2022-02-08 05:56 (UTC)

[ She cannot imagine a time where he will not default to being Ser Aymeric the Lord Commander. It is a deep part of him, habits or no habits. She loves him as the Lord Commander or simply Aymeric. All she wishes for is that he will be comfortable being either around her.

One hand leaves the edge of the tub and extends out to him. When he has accepted her hand, she curls her fingers around his and continues to hold it even once he has made himself a place on the floor beside the bath. ]

Of course it is. What of your bath?

[ He finds himself unable to hold back the smile when she extends her hand for him to take, which he does without hesitation. Positioning himself on the floor beside her, his smile only widens as he looks at her.

A slightly embarrassed expression replaces the smile, because he does feel some measure of remorse for this bit of trickery, but his desire to be alone with her for a little while longer was too difficult to ignore. ] Ah, well- I imagine that it is growing cold as we speak.

[ With his free hand, he rubs the back of his head a little nervously, but bath water can always be reheated if needed. However, he most likely will not trouble the steward or the maid to do so. ]

[ Her gaze softens, and perhaps he can even tell the sort of small smile hidden behind her arms. She, of course, knows the answer before she even speaks her proposal. ]

The water in this tub is plenty warm, if you wished to join me. [ The look in her eyes says she knows he will decline. Why she had bothered to say it at all is beyond her. ] I invites Thisru to join us for dinner when she is ready. She... sounded upset by something.

[ He can hear the smile in her voice, and that in turn brings a smile to his. And if she is looking closely, she might spot the longing in his eyes, but as much as he wishes he could shed propriety and join her in the bath, he supposes that it is best if he refrains. ]

I would like nothing else. [ He puts as much emphasis into those words as he can, because he truly would. ] I cannot pretend that I do not wish for such a thing, but- [ And here, his smile is tinged with regret. ]

I must offer you a thousand apologies, for I fear I must decline. Another time soon, perhaps. [ He has already made a mental note that that should be one of the first things they do together, the night following their wedding.

Quickly, however, his expression changes once more, this time to one of concern. ]

I sincerely hope that all is well with her, and if that is not the case, then I hope that there is something I can do to help.

[ Because he already feels no small amount of concern for the well-being of both sisters. ]

[ While she is not as practiced as he is, she has grown clever in hiding her emotions from those around her. She can never fool K'thisru, however, she can always fool the Scions. The only sign that would show the disappointment would be how her tail stops moving under the water. She, of course, knew the answer would be exactly as he gave it. Yet, somehow, hearing it has caused her heart to clench.

Their cultures also are indeed very different. She reminds herself this constantly. Something akin to a language barrier, and she should not feel as if she is a disappointment or disrespectful when it clashes. She shouldn't...

Alkaid closes her eyes to "think" in regard to her sister. Yet, is also proves to give a brief moment to collect herself as her arm continues to hide the lower-half of her face. ]

Things rarely upset her as it is. [ Her tone is gentle and her voice soft. ] That is not to say she is unempathetic, because she certainly is. She need only stop long enough to learn of people's plights. Then, there is no stopping her from channeling what she feels for them into her never ending drive to help another.

[ The smile returns to her face if only to some degree. ]

There was a group we both aided for some time. They are stationed out of Revenant's Toll, trying to inspect the large crystal structure that towers near Lake Silvertear. The leader had been a member of the Circle of Knowledge, the group that predated the Scions of the Seventh Dawn.

There was a young man who was apart of that group, and he was very much like Thisru. I had worried that the pair of them would cause so much trouble that even I couldn't keep up with the storm. Yet, she never once noticed how he looked at her. They would speak, of course, but his advances and wonder for her never dawned on her. Her mind was too caught up in the adventure of it all to realize she had an admirer who wished to know her more.

[ An eye opens to look at Aymeric once more. ] If she is upset on Starlight of all days? She encountered something that has made her mind stop long enough to see. [ Alkaid gives a whisp of a laugh then. ] Sometimes, I wish I had the confidence she has... and the ability to simply move through life without stopping to know every soul I've met.

[ If he could see how her tail has ceased to move, he would know without a doubt that he has upset her yet again. But even without seeing that, he can tell that his words have not been well-received. He wishes that he could find the words to tell her that he loves her as she is, and any differences between them only make his fondness for her grow rather than decrease.

Still, he fears that one day, she will realize that her own feelings for him have gone by the wayside because their differences are too great. If only he could just speak plainly and tell her once and for all that he has fallen in love with her and wants nothing more than to share all parts of him and his life with her.

Perhaps one day soon he will be able to bare his soul and place everything that he thinks and feels in front of her for her to see.

For now, however, he falls silent and listens to Alkaid's explanation with rapt attention as he always does whenever she has something to say, or a tale from her adventures to relate. It most certainly is a form of vicarious living, because his opportunities to travel are few and far between. ]

Could it be that this young man has returned and caught her eye? [ Either that, or he is in trouble somehow, and that is what is causing her such apparent upset. ]

It seems to me that you have your own brand of confidence, and as one would expect from two sisters, the pair of you provide balance for each other, one picking up where the other leaves off.

[ She harbors no doubt that he loves her or resentment that he holds back as he does. It may hurt, but, how could she fault him? His life has been crafted by the fact his father held no wife and then discarded him when he was born. While Alkaid would never do such a thing? She cannot blame him at all for his hesitations. She should not push him or tease him as she does. Something she yet again reminds herself of... especially now that they are betrothed.

Her fingers squeeze his reassuringly. Proposing is a sign of love, is it not? The desire to share one's life and possessions entirely with another.

Both ears perk up at his suggestion and her other eye opens. She quickly considers the notion that perhaps G'raha Tia has returned from the Crystal Tower. That is doubtful, however, given the nature of his conditions... ]

I very much doubt that. He sealed himself within the Tower in the end. His bloodline was to oversee it in the wake of the Allagan Empire falling... and he took it quite literally. He plans on sleeping within it until our technology rivals that of the Allagans.

[ She smiles sadly behind her arm. ] I imagine that we are a great deal away from that.

Hm, I'm not certain if it's stubborness or confidence anymore. [ Perhaps even defiance? Her gaze shifts to the side as she sinks further into the water. ] Sometimes I wonder how she did not catch your eye--as Thisru is far more what one would believe to be a Warrior of Light.

[ Even so, he believes that at some point, he will have to set aside the things from his past that haunt him. Being given away to others following his birth is something he has had to work to accept, even though he knows full well that he would never wish for a different life than the one he had known with the Borels. Has it made him more guarded and careful about who he opens himself up to? Of course. But that seems to be a trait of most Ishgardians. For Aymeric's part, however, he intends to change that for himself, and he believes he has taken several steps towards making that happen.

He does not resent Alkaid for pushing him, or even teasing him, because he knows he cannot remain closed off to new experiences forever.

Returning to the topic at hand, he mulls over everything she has told him, marveling about this individual who willingly sealed himself away. ]

What does he intend to do if we should reach that point? [ Of course he knows there must have been a goal in mind, but he can hardly begin to imagine what it might be.

And then his expression shifts into a warm smile. ] I hold a great deal of respect and admiration for K'thisru, and of course, I care for her very much as well, but- [ He thinks back to those first meetings between himself, the sisters, and Alphinaud. ]

When we first met, she did catch my eye, because her tenacity and her confidence spoke volumes. But then I found my attentions caught by another, by her sister, and I have not been able to look away since that moment.

[ Would Aymeric have had to struggle so much with his past if he did not confront his father? She wonders it from time to time; a thought that comes whenever her mind decides to reflect on the time through the Vault. The part of her that simply wishes to heal and mend those around her still laments being unable to aid Aymeric more in the time following his capture. That same part wishes she might find a way to cure all that ails his heart in regards to the father that would never love him. She cannot, of course, which at those times makes her wonder what use of a healer she is to him. ]

I believe he would wish to guide us from a path that the Allagans works follow. Or, at least, that is my guess. The Crystal Tower was supposed to be a beacon of hope to mankind, and instead was used to create the Fourth Umbral Calamity. It is something I should make a note to study more...

[ Her fingers curled around his give a strong squeeze then; her gaze remaining drifted to the side. Perhaps it ahs become obvious there is a sense of insecurity or shortcoming in terms of the mantle of Warrior of Light. Or, ar least, when compared to her sister. K'thisru is everything that Alkaid would believe a Warrior of Light ought to be. Always ready to bite at the heels of adventure, ready to go and so the biddings of heads-of-states or the Scions with no aphrension or resentment.

Perhaps that is why she would prefer to remain in Ishgard or Gridania. They are places she might yet be herself and not simply the Warrior of Light.

She would not have him worry over her silence. Her hand shifts to hold onto his properly instead of simply their fingers. ]

Even if you had eyes for her, I very much doubt she would have noticed. [ Still, she is uncertain what of her presence would make her stand out compared to Alphinaud's wit at politics and her sister's readiness to do what is asked of her.

Then, her gaze softens as she feels water prick the corner of her eyes. He need not see her cry again; the proposal was a unique cicrumstance. ] I know that I... lack many of the strengths my sister has--strengths that might benefit a leader in any form more than a healer might. I know that I certainly lack her ability to share my mind and feelings so candidly.

[ Her eyes finally move back to him. ] But, Aymeric, please know that I do love you. More than I might ever be able to express. I should have said so and not written it...

[ Of course, she knows she has said it in some form before. The night after the illbegotten conference was when she had said it without realizing at first. Her mind had been so focused on providing comfort--in both ways--that she hadn't realized it until the next morning. Still, it was far from a proper declaration. ]

[ The last thing he intends to do is to blame her for anything, or to even consider that she has not been a help to him. In his mind, she, along with his staunchest allies and friends, have been more than a help to him, and he believes he would be a different man entirely if he had not met them. ]

I must admit, I am not the most well-versed in things relating to the Allagans or the Crystal Tower, so I suppose I should attempt devoting time to their study as well. [ If he can find the time for it, that is. There are many subjects that he wishes to educate himself on, but he has not found the time.

He watches her as she seems to retreat into her mind for a moment, and he cannot help but wonder what thoughts are running through her mind right now. He does not intend to push or pry, not if she wishes to be alone for a moment, and so he just continues to sit beside her, waiting quietly for her to return from her thoughts. ]

I am sure that I would not have held her attention for long, considering how she seems drawn towards excitement and adventure, and the path I am on seems far less so. But, might I say that my own attentions have been thoroughly drawn in your direction, and I have no need to look elsewhere.

[ Here, he reaches for her hands, being mindful of her position in the bath, because he feels as though she is slipping away from him, being drawn away by her doubts and fears. ]

You once told me not to diminish myself and my contributions, and I would not see you do the same to yourself. You are every bit as strong as your sister, a fact that I can state with the utmost of certainty. Have you not been present beside me as you helped me navigate the twists and turns of my own mind and heart as well?

You and your sister compliment each other, and the skills that each of you possesses have been the greatest of gifts to our star and to me and my people. She brings the strength to fight when it is needed, while you provide the healing and the heart. You could not have one without the other, nor could we have K'thisru on her own without you.

[ But lest she thinks he is saying they will forever be chained to their responsibilities as the Warriors of Light, he is quick to add: ]

We do not deserve the hope that you bring, but neither should we rely solely upon it. You ought to have lives of your own, to be who you wish to. [ He firmly believes that, and if he thought that any good would come of it, he would continue repeating himself as many times as he had to. ]

I have never doubted even once that you returned the regard and the love that I have for you, Lantaa.

[ All he has to do is look into her eyes, and he can see the answer clearly written there. ]

Even if you never said it to me using words, I believe that I would have known.

[ And then he shifts his position just enough that he can lean in and press a kiss to her mouth. ]

[ She makes a note to herself that next time they find some hours of quiet to bring what she can of the subject. The wedding plans, of course, would be at the foremost of tasks. Her mind has not yet begun the daunting task of finding a way to explain to the Scions she is betrothed. Alphinaud and Tataru would most likely not find it a surprise. The rest...

Her gaze holds with his as he reaches for her other hand as well. Both wrap around his and she remains silent. It is clear in her eyes rather she feels she must do more, be more, without an idea on how to do so. Of course, he is correct, and she would agree wholeheartedly. She simply feels... lacking when it comes to herself.

Alkaid's fingers trail along his. If only she might have a life of herself. Every time she attempts it, it would seem that fate has much different plans. Perhaps all she might have is moments; perhaps that as Hydaelyn's intention all along. She sighs and her eyes close for a brief moment before finding his again.

The eaea atop her head lift at his kiss. It takes a moment before she leans in return and tightens her hold on his hands. In so many ways she does not deserve a man as good as him. Not after what she and her sister have had to do as the Champions of Eorzea... and no doubt what they will have to do onwards. ]

...how long have you waited to propose? [ Her forehead presses to his and she nudges his nose with hers. Just to cement she did not ignore everything he said. ]

[ He knows full well that any time spent with her would be more than worth his while, whether they are studying Allagan technology or planning their wedding. What he looks forward to most, more than anything in the world, is being able to call her wife and to embark on a new chapter together with her.

And, if it was in his power to take her away from everything that draws her attention and takes her away from him, even if that is the most selfish of notions, he would do it without hesitation. He has never thought of himself as a possessive man, and he understands the need to do one's duty, but his love for her is great enough that he would allow himself a moment of selfishness, if only they could be together and be themselves for just a little while.

As for what she has done in keeping with her role as Eorzea's champion, he does not see it. Instead, he only sees her, the one he loves. ]

If I had acted rashly and in a way more fitting of a younger man, I would have proposed much sooner than this. But even though I knew very early on that you had caught my eye and my heart... I wanted to wait for exactly the right moment.

[ It had to be special, because the occasion signified the first time he had given his heart to anyone. And even now, he hopes that it was. ]

[ Her smile that forms is still hidden by the edging of the bathtub, but it is certainly obvious by the way her eyes seem to sparkle. Much sooner? It is certainly a wide net, but she cannot imagine it would have been before the ill-fated first attempt at the conference. Which, in hindsight, is rather ironic considering how he wishes to remain proper. ]

I had often wondered if I fell in love the first time I saw you. [ Her ears bend back only in embarrassment, as is obvious by the red that can be seen creeping over what is visible of her cheeks. ] I thought it was childish to think it... and convinced myself you would have no interest other than that of an ally.

[ Which, now, she can see was clearly wrong.

She gives a small tug to his hands for him to lean closer. Then, she captures his lips with hers in a kiss. ]

[ Practically speaking, perhaps he could not have put forward his proposal any sooner than he had, but if he could have thrown around practicality, he is certain he would have done so at his earliest opportunity. ]

Certainly, you did manage to catch my eye at that time, in a way that none other has done; I believe that had I not been so reticent and convinced that surely, the Warrior of Light either had her eyes drawn to another or had no desire for such entanglements, I might have approached you sooner, at least that we might have a conversation or two.

[ But he hesitated, even though he knew that she had captivated his attention and his thoughts. And looking back, he wishes that he would have acted differently. ]

You always find ways to surprise me. [ And then he leans willingly into the kiss, arms moving with little regard for the tub that separates them as if wishing to wrap themselves around her frame. But he pauses at the last moment, a question forming in his eyes as if asking permission to touch her. She presently is unclothed as she is, of course, in the bath, so perhaps she does not wish for him to place his hands upon her right now. ]

[ She laughs gently. ] Well, if you had eyes for my sister, you would have been right. I'm not certain she will wish to settle down for some time yet.

[ Alkaid shifts against the tub as well, her front pushing against the porcelain. There is a brief thought of pulling him further into the tub. However, she discards that thought. He has already made his position clear and she will not push him from it. There is nothing wrong with her meeting him at his level of what he is comfortable with.

She gives him a smile, nudging her nose to encourage him. He has, after all, seen her practically naked once. ]

... I hope those surprises are good ones.

Ah, but that is part of the experience, is it not? Finding one whom you are drawn to and becoming better acquainted with them, perhaps even coming to the conclusion that you wish to spend the rest of your days with them...

[ He does not bother concealing the smile that spreads across his face. ] I consider myself very fortunate indeed to have met you, and might I say, even blessed that our paths crossed as they did.

[ And having said that, he ceases his hesitation, moving forward again and this time completing the action of gently wrapping his arms around her, paying no heed to the water from her bath nor the water that is clinging to her skin. He only wishes to touch her, to feel her, however she might allow. ]

They are only the best ones, of course. [ His tone has lowered several notches, growing deeper the more his desire for her grows. If not for his own reticence, he would join her in the bath, because he wants nothing more than to be as close to her as he can manage. ]

I very much doubt that is an experience and journey she has even considered. [ Still, she smiles as he does. ] I have no doubts that Thisru will find someone when the time is right. I simply hope she does not let the opportunity pass her by again.

[ There has always been a small sting in her heart that K'thisru had never noticed the interest G'raha Tia took in her. While he was certainly a tad childish and dreamed very big? She could tell the affections the man had for her sister were genuine. Yet, Alkaid felt it was not her place to try and push them together, and instead hoped it might have happened naturally. Instead, he chose to reign his budding emotions in and use it as a driving force. It is so very bittersweet in so many ways. ]

I would have liked very much to see G'raha and Thisru together.

[ Her hands finally leave the edge of the tub and raise to drape around his neck as he wraps his own around her. She tilts her head back with her black hair but brightly tinged pink ends shifting to frame her face. She would have him touch her in any and all intimate ways. For now, however, she will settle for him simply touching her bare back.

Gods, he is so very talented at distracting her. His lowered tone causes her heart to skip a beat and she all but melts into his hold. Aymeric needs to do very little in order to stir her own desires, no matter how much she attempts to temper them for what she understands are his own wishes. She nudges her nose against his, then his chin, fingers tilting upwards to curl into the hair at the bottom of his neck. ]

Even the ones that may be inappropriate for our status? [ Even if in her mind, he has already claimed her as his and she has claimed his. A ring only represents that to everyone else. She has considered herself his ever since the night of the first failed attempt at the Conference.

Now, her voice lowers and she presses down those stirring desires. ] I can't imagine the requests are very seemly for a bride-to-be.

[ His smile remains in place as he surveys her. ] Like you, I am certain that when the time is right, everything will fall into place exactly how it should. Surely K'thisru will catch someone's eye, or the other way around.

Perhaps G'raha will be that someone, or perhaps it will be someone she has not even met yet. Either way, I am certain it will be quite an exciting time for both you and her.

[ He continues to hold her, realizing not for the first time just how much he likes having her in his arms. He keeps one hand positioned where it is, while the other reaches over to her ear so that he might begin to stroke it.

And when her fingers curl into the shorter hairs at the base of his neck, a shiver climbs up his spine. He is no more sensitive to touch than anyone else, and yet there are certain places that she has found that render him quite relaxed indeed. The back of his neck is one such place, and now it is his turn to have to fight to remain focused and not distracted. ]

Especially those. [ He knows it might not be becoming of someone in his position to tease her the way he is, but he finds that he cannot quite help himself. Of course he knows full well that he means to not cross certain lines, not yet, but he can still have a moment of levity without fear that she will be offended by it. ]

But I suppose that I best save some of those for our first night as a married couple. I would hate to disappoint you, after all.

[ And try as he might to keep a straight face so that he does not give away the ruse, the corners of his mouth twitch in spite of himself. ]

[ Has everything fallen perfectly into place? How much had to happen--how much pain had to occur--for it be to the point it is now? She certainly wishes it had been easier, and their losses not so great. Still, as she sits in the water, looking up at him, she cannot help but agree with the statement. She never would have thought she would be betrothed to--let alone sitting naked in a bath with the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights those months ago. Her gaze softens. ]

I hope she does. [ Even if G'raha may never see them again, merely read about them in history books. ] And, it would be an exciting time for you as well. You will be apart of her family too.

[ She wishes she might find a way to bring the pair of them together in a more friendly manner. That can only happen on their own time and pace. Still, she hopes that her sister may one day not be so awkward in a non-formal setting with Aymeric.

Well, if she hadn't melted in his hands before, she certainly is. Her head tilts entirely into his hand and she also leans into the hand at her back. His comment makes a gentle laugh come from her. Especially those, is it? She can certainly meet his teasing. Even more so if he continues to stroke her ear and press his hand to bare back. ]

Some, but not all, I hope.

[ She tilts her hands so the tips of her fingers gently brush along the back of his neck and the end of his hair. She uses her elbows to push herself up in the tub. Alkaid leans forward, elbows on the rim of the tub, and pressing a kiss to his lips. He may be in too proper of a mindset to look downwards at her exposed top, and that is certainly alright.

At the moment she would rather focus on kissing him and making him feel as happy and ...well, good, as he does for her. ]

[ But if they had come to this point without experiencing all of the pain and the loss, would it still feel so meaningful? For his part, Aymeric remains certain that it would not. After all, one can hardly live in the world and not experience difficulty, even pain and loss. It is the balance between hardship and happiness that he, like so many others, has had to find. ]

I am certain that she will, even though I cannot explain what it is that makes me feel that way. And I would consider myself quite fortunate indeed should I be considered part of your family. [ He considers himself quite honored that she and her sister even gave him a second look. ]

Oh, of course, not all. I must do my level best to ensure that you do not grow disheartened or discontent while we wait for that occasion.

[ When she presses a kiss to his lips, his eyes close as feelings of pleasure and happiness sweep over him. Something is stirring inside him, a feeling he has not felt before, and it is clear that she has succeeded in making him feel both happy and good, although aroused might be a more accurate term. ]

[ Suffering will always bring strength and love that will last longer and survive more. She simply wishes there had not been as much. Was losing Haurchefaunt necessary to her and Aymeric finally coming together? It is a dangerous thought process to tread and certainly not one she wishes to focus on at the moment.

She deepens the kiss for only a moment. Then, her forehead presses to his as her gaze softens once more. Her eyes have darkened with her own desire and arousal, but unlike the night following the first attempt of the Conference? Alkaid does not rush after it. She intends to respect his wishes to the utmost. Another kiss is pressed to the side of his mouth and her nose nuzzles his. ]

It wouldn't hurt for me to hold back. [ Her smile turns a tad guilt ridden. While she would love more nights as the intimate one they had? She won't push for it. ] I would rather that than push you away.

I can scarcely begin to imagine anything you might do that would push me away.

[ He is content to just spend the rest of their time together enjoying each other's company doing whatever it is they feel like doing. ]

I would have you be yourself and not have to worry about anything, including the need to hold back.

[ And he chooses that moment to plant a kiss on her cheek, followed by several others in succession. ]

FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

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/starts to wraps this one up as well?

<3 they're just gonna be there awhile kissing lbr