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synthneon2021-11-19 12:58 am
hobbitholmes) wrote in synthneon2021-11-19 12:58 am
Entry tags:
FF PSL | β for those we can yet save. β
AFTERGLOW
β hear, feel think. β
βοΈ HEAVENSWARD
β
Ever Heavensward (3.0)
β Ishgard Meetings, Part 2
β As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
β Unfleeting Emotions
β The Gears of Change (3.2)
β Heavy Hearts, Part 2
β Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
β Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
β Starlight Festival (KP)
β Ishgard Meetings, Part 2
β As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
β Unfleeting Emotions
β The Gears of Change (3.2)
β Heavy Hearts, Part 2
β Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
β Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
β Starlight Festival (KP)
π₯ STORMBLOOD
β
IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
no subject
He hopes that the depth of his affections for her is obvious, because he has well and truly fallen in love with her to the point that he would sacrifice anything for her. Perhaps not his duty to Ishgard, because in his mind, that would be the ultimate betrayal, but if it came down to saving her and prolonging his own life, he would not hesitate to make that sacrifice.
Would he rather remain at her side for the rest of their natural lives? Of course. He does not wish to lose her or be separated from her for anything in the world, and yet if her life or that of her sister's was in danger, he would put himself on the line for them.
It is with that thought in mind that he leans in even closer to her, smiling as she presses her nose against his cheek once again. ]
How fitting, then, that I have such a gift from you. And might I say that you are a gift yourself, a gift that I scarcely deserve. And lest you begin to fret, I would not wish to be parted from you or from Ishgard. But if I had to shield you from harm, I would do it without a second thought.
[ It is the conundrum of being in love, or so it seems. He wishes for them to grow old together, to never be separated for long, and he is loath to place her in a position of needing to go through life without him. It would seem that there is no reconciliation between the two positions, and yet that is where he stands, squarely in the middle.
For the time being, though, there is nothing between them save for the eventual knowledge that they will eventually have to assume their respective positions once more. But for the moment, they can simply be Aymeric and Lantaa, and he means to relish this time without hesitation.
Where she might be thinking about how she must sacrifice being the kind of wife he deserves, he is thinking about how to be the husband she deserves. And with that thought in mind, he asks: ]
Is there anything you require that I might be able to give you? [ He is certain that she will say he has given her enough, but he would spend the rest of his life giving her everything that is in his power to give. ]
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It remains a blessing then that she is a healer. Any blow he might take for their benefit could be mended. She has lost far too much as it is. Losing him is on par to losing her sister; a part of her would be gone and she would never be the same afterwards.
She laughs gently. ] I would not call myself a gift. A blessing, however, I will allow. [ She smiles and nudges her nose to his. Then, her gaze sobers and a serious look takes her eyes. ] All I ask is that you do not forfeit your life in acting as a shield. Thisru and I have already lost one Ishgardian in such a manner.
[ While she would not say she was the closet to Haurchefant? His lost hurt her greatly as well. It was one thing to feel that she could not prevent the pain and wounds inflicted upon Aymeric in his time in the Vault. It was another to heal all she might and Haurchefant still die. Perhaps that was a small reason as to why she was so insistent to heal Aymeric after the stabbing. Of course, at the core, she loves him and did not wish to lose him. Though her quiet musings make her wonder what else drove her into such an emotional state that night.
Her hand lowers to rest above the scar from said wound.
At first, she is quiet at his question. Her forehead presses to his as her eyes slip closed. ]
No, you must understand something, Aymeric. [ her lips quickly press to his to keep him from protesting for just a moment. Her hand presses to the scar underneath his shirt. ] Everything that you have given me and Thisru since the moment we stepped into Ishgard is more than I could ever ask for.
Thisru and I are half-sisters. Our father is the same, the leader of our clan. If a clan is large enough they may have multiple leads, but ours is not that size just yet. [ Alkaid keeps her forehead to his with her eyes closed. ] Despite how close we are? Our mothers were not. Whether one thought she was better than the other, or they simply clashed, I can't truly say. All I can say is that they often scoffed at the two of us together and would make known we were not to be close, despite our shared father.
Before I even left the clan, I had decided that I didn't wish to marry within my clan. Any children I were to have would not grow up the way I had. Then, once Thisru and I were chosen by Hydaelyn... and became Champions of Eorzea? I had figured I would never be married nor have a family. My time and days spent to serving those of our star and countries. [ Finally, her eyes open to look into his light blue ones. ] You have offered your home to be ours and by doing so given us a place to return to other than our clan. You have asked me to become your wife -- lady of the House you inherited, despite what may be called of me.
[ Her other hand raises to rest gently on the side of his face as her tail sways. ] No, Ser Aymeric de Borel. I would ask nothing more of your and would require even less.
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Oh, but you are gift and blessing both. You have brightened my days with your presence, much as your words and tales of your adventures provide a spot of brightness in what I once called a rather arid affair. [ At the time, he was speaking of the reports that he reads in the course of his work, but it applies to his entire life as well. ]
Should the worst happen to you, and I did not do everything in my power to protect you, I would not be able to live with myself. I would not foolishly throw my life away, but neither would I stand by knowing that you, the Champion of Eorzea and the hope of so many people, were in danger of being injured, or worse. Lest you fear that I would do so thoughtlessly, please know that I would never cause you hurt of that nature.
[ He knows all too well how hard a loss of a loved one is, and he would never place her in that position unless there were no other choice. She must live, not only because she is a Warrior of Light, but because he believes she has a bright future ahead of her. That is not to say that he thinks he does not, but there are some who are more vital to their world and their cause than others. ]
I am listening. [ He knows very little of the world she is from and of how she was raised, and so as she begins to relate the details to him, he falls silent so that he might listen. Her lips resting against his also forestalls speech, of course, but he has no complaints about her methods of momentarily silencing him. When she presses her hand against the spot where the knife hit its mark, the memory of that evening flashes back into his mind, but it is brief and he shakes his head once, hoping to drive the recollection away once more. There is no need to dwell on those events now. ]
That is unfortunate that your mothers were unable to reach an understanding. I imagine it would have made life somewhat easier had they been able to live peacefully alongside the other.
[ But she is not finished yet, and so he resumes his silence, although he is clearly riveted by every word. Eventually, she ceases speaking, and for just a moment, he remains where he is, taking in the feel of her hand resting against his face. ]
Lantaa, you would not ask anything of me nor require anything, but nevertheless, you have done me a great honor by agreeing to my proposal, and I merely wish to ensure that any needs or wants that you have are met.
[ And then he reaches for her other hand so that he might press a kiss to it. ]
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[ The teasing smile forms into a sad smile at his comments. She would ask that no others take blows or protect her any longer. It is not out of the belief she could do better without them. It is a fear that those who would aim to kill her would instead kill them. The image in her mind of seeing Aymeric take a blow as Haurchefant makes her eyes water. The hand on his face presses is cheek then as her ears droop underneath her hat. ]
I could not bare failing to save your life as I did his. [ How might she call herself a healer if she cannot save lives? She cannot save them all, but what about the handful that are in her charge? ] Losing you or my sister would be far too much. Eorzea and the Scions may pile all they wish on me, but I could not stand a world in which the two of you are gone.
[ Her hand moves from his side and he presses a kiss to it. Alkaid closes her eyes and lowers her head slightly to place her forehead against the side of his head. ]
I would fight any and all who might dare take the pair of you from me. I would go to the ends of our star if it would keep you both safe. I would even stay here, in Ishgard, and forsake any duty as a Scion if it meant keeping you with me.
[ If anything, at least she has grown to be able to speak something of her mind and emotions. ]
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[ But then his smile is replaced by a look of concern, because he always worries about her and her well-being. She and her sister carry so much, and so many people's hopes hinge upon them. He wonders if it might be too much for them to carry. ]
Would I step into fire or into the path of a sword if it meant saving you? Of course. But neither do I wish to cause you grief, Lantaa. [ Similarly, if she were to be gone, he would also be at a loss for how to move forward. And although he has much and more to learn about her sister, she is no less important in his eyes. To lose one or both of them would be a tremendous loss indeed, and he means to do all in his power to keep them safe. He would place his own life on the line for them, but that action will always be a last resort. ]
Your words might as well be my own, for I would do the same for both of you. And although it would be a hard task to complete and nothing short of a betrayal in the eyes of many, even my own, if I could ensure your safety and continued presence beside me, I would forsake my oaths and vows, willingly taking on any reproach and disapproval that anyone saw fit to heap upon me.
[ Does he hope that it never comes to that? Yes. Because to betray the place and the people that he loves so much might as well be a death-blow to him, regardless of how deeply he loves her.
If she is going to make declarations of her thoughts and feelings, then so is he. ]
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[ She nudges her nose to the side of his face once more. ] Tell me what sort of tale you would like, my ser knight. I will be sure to find one.
[ Of course she remembered the small comment he made the night after the disturbed conference. If he wishes her to call him it? She most certainly shall.
A kiss is pressed to his cheek then. The notion behind his words is felt. Yet, she would not wish it. She would not ask him to forsake his home or his people for her. ]
I would ask you never do such a thing. Forsaking the city you love would leave a wound that even I could never heal. I intend fully to return and live here in Ishgard. With you.
[ Her head tilts to the side. The firelight reflects on her face. Most the time her dark bangs with dark pink ends hide it, but now the scar that comes down her eye can be seen. A leftover of the battle with Nidhogg. Thankfully, most never noticed her injury while they focused on Estinien's recovery. ]
no subject
Even so, so long as it remains my duty and my responsibility, I cannot turn away. So in that sense, you are correct. [ He just feels as though he has slipped more than once in recent days, and that is unforgivable. ] I would not ask you to carry more burdens than the ones you already have, Lantaa. I am accustomed to people carrying tales in the streets and gossiping amongst themselves about the various opinions that they have formed, for good or ill.
[ He straightens up then, squaring his shoulders, as if to suggest that even though the weight he carries often pushes him down, he will always stand up underneath it again. That is not to say that he doubts her ability to do the same, but these are burdens he is reluctant to place upon her, through her association with him. ]
Tell me of something you consider your greatest adventure, or perhaps your most memorable, recent or less so. [ He very much likes being called her knight, and while it is a highly silly notion to have, even privately, he knows that if he had a tail such as hers, it would be waving about with delight right now. ]
But I would do it for you without question. A life in Ishgard is not impossible, but it is harder than most are accustomed to. The climate is unpredictable and harsh, and not all who come here remain. I would not have you be unhappy here.
[ A look of resolve crosses his face then, knowing that he would take on such a wound without complaint if it meant ensuring her happiness. ] Wherever you wish to settle, that is where I will be.
[ And as he glances down at her, that is when he finally notices that mark down her eye. With some small amount of hesitancy bordering on sudden shyness, he raises a hand, fingers outstretched but stopping before they touch the spot. ]
When did this happen? [ And how did he fail to notice it? ]
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[ She smiles fondly, and yet a tinge of sadness is in her features. ] If I am to be your lady-wife, I would ask you share some of them with me, and I share some of mine with you. Otherwise how can the pair of us move forward?
[ Her tail flicks slightly at his posture change--of only because their height difference makes it difficult to continue to touch him unless she changes hers. ]
Why would I settle anywhere else when this is the home that has been made for Thisru and I? The world may look brighter and greener, perhaps even filled with sand. Yet, struggle and harsh climates are everywhere. At least within this climate, we have been accepted and brought to join its people. [ A finger raises to gently tap his chin. ] I would prefer to stay here in your ancestral home.
[ Then, her expression softens. Her eyes close as she leans her head to his hand, encouraging him to touch the scar and move her bangs to the side to see. ]
From my greatest adventure I have had thus far--before becoming your wife. [ Alkaid raises her gaze to meet his, mint green eyes locking to blue ones. ] The battle with Nidhogg was not just with the wrym, but using Estinien's body and skills as his own. His claw grazed me during the fight.
My knight was rather occupied with other worries, and I thought it a small price to pay to return his best friend to him. [ Her head tilts to show the scar across her cheek. It is hardly large or deep, but noticeable in the right light. ] This came from the Empire's Black Wolf himself, Gaius von Baelsar. We fought him before taking on his ultimate warmachine, the Ultima Weapon.
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With that thought in mind, he pushes away his doubts and tries instead to focus on the present conversation. ]
At times, I wonder why you consent to spend time with me, considering how often my thoughts tend to run away from me. [ Not for the first time, he notes how deftly she is able to bring him back when he becomes too lost in his own mind, letting his worries take the forefront once more. ] I cannot promise that it will be a simple matter, but I will do my best to share what is on my mind and not withhold my thoughts from you. And you know that you can always tell me what troubles you, and I will also endeavor to be attentive to your needs.
[ That will not be difficult for him, because he desires nothing more than to be a help to her however and whenever he can. ]
I suppose your own words are why I thought you may not desire to make Ishgard your home: we offered it to you as a place to call your home, and you came here by necessity, not necessarily willingly. [ Simply put, it was chosen for them, more or less, but he also recognizes that she and K'thisru became involved in their affairs of their own accord, not because they were compelled to. At least, it seems to him that the dedication they showed in their participation in the war and all other events that transpired spoke of this being more than another task in a long list of them.
He lightly brushes his fingers against the scar, even as the look in his eyes shifts to a mixture of worry and the barest amount of self-reproach for not being there to shield her from harm. ]
Occupied with other worries, and yet your welfare remains a significant one, even among all the others that I must see to. [ And when she draws attention to the other scar across her cheek, that sense of failing her only grows. ] Perhaps I should see to having a protection charm made for you as well, for those times when I cannot be present to aid you.
[ They both know all too well that those times will be many, and there is very little that either of them can do to alter that. ]
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She leans forward to press a kiss to his cheek once more. ]
You have always met my needs, Aymeric. You don't need to strive so hard to impress me. [ Her smile spreads against his cheek. ] We may have come here out of necessity, but we chose to stay out of love. We truly do love Ishgard and her people. Sometimes, the best things can be born of necessity.
[ She smiles at his concern, head tilting with his hand to encourage him to touch the scars. The drive to comfort and mend runs deep within her, and she certainly would not shun him for wishing to return the notion for scars since healed. ]
I wouldn't stop you if that is something you would wish to do. Simply know that you needn't make yourself responsible for the scars and being able to prevent them. They are a small price to pay to keep all of you alive.
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But he finds he does not wish to dwell on these topics any longer, and when she leans in to kiss him once more, he simply lets out a contented sigh. ]
Is it striving to impress you, or is it wanting to give you all the love that you deserve, and more? [ It could well be both, of course. ] I, for one, am glad that necessity brought you and your sister to us. [ To him, he wishes to say, but perhaps that is far too arrogant. ]
You are, of course, responsible for yourself, but I would sleep much easier at night if I knew that there was something, regardless of how small it might be, giving you a measure of protection.
[ And suddenly, as if spurred on by a sudden burst of reckless inspiration, he throws all reserve to the winds and leans in closer so that his face is a mere few inches away from hers. As before, there is something he wishes to attempt, and it would be a simple matter indeed to just press a kiss against her cheek, instead of his original thought. But he has come this far already, so he completes the action, pressing a kiss against her ear instead. And, after a moment's hesitation, before he pulls back, he gives a gentle nibble on the tip of her ear. ]
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If you are so intent on spoiling, I doubt much can stop you. As well if you are determined to make sure I'm protected while away. [ She pauses with her smile turning playful, but no more than that. ] I've become rather fond of the design of Ishgardian accessories...
[ Alkaid straightens as he leans forward. A blush takes her face as she stills, waiting to see what he might do. His lips meet her ear and her cheeks turn redder. Her head ducks down only slightly to try and hide the bashfulness taking her face. The smile can be seen as well as how her ear twitches under his touch. She forces down a giggle--just barely. ] It tickles...!
M'Lord?
[ At the sound of the stewards voice, Alkaid straightens entirely with her eyes wide. He can see how red her face is before she hides it behind her hands, as if she is an adolescence being found out by a parent.
The steward clears his throat. ] Shall I draw up separate baths for you and Lady Mercedes? Dinner is being prepared.
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More than that, I am determined to see both you and K'thisru returning to Ishgard healthy and well. If I can contribute even a small amount of assistance in ensuring that happens, then I will.
[ At her reaction and the way her ear twitches, he gives another careful nibble, barely managing to pull back from her and straighten up as the steward announces his presence. ]
Ah, yes, baths. [ He quickly attempts putting his typical mask of composure back in place, but he also knows how perceptive the steward is. Surely he caught the tail end of his antics, but at least he will have the decency to refrain from commenting on it.
... Until later, that is. ]
What do you say, Alkaid? Would a bath before dinner be to your liking? [ The smallest part of him wishes that they could have a shared bath, but to suggest such a thing would certainly be scandalous. ]
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[ Her face is still hidden by her hands as she masters up the posture to face the house steward again. Her ear twitches as he pulls away, the other lifting to hear what the other man might say. They twitch one more time as she hears their conversation--as brief as it is.
Ah, yes. Baths.
She is ever grateful for her hands hiding her brushing face evenmoreso now. Her disappointment is perfectly hidden, especially as she makes certain not to change any of her posture. Part of her, of course, had been hoping to share one... but now, she is very much reminded of the differences in upbringing. It would be rather scandalous--even for those engaged. It would be too intimate for those not in wedlock. That part of her feels the distinct pang in her heart, but there is little to be done about it.
She will need to not take flirtatious remarks as action in the future.
Alkaid tilts her head briefly, as if to ponder the matter over. Of course, she has already made her decision, but keeping appearances and the game going matters. Her hands slide down her face to reveal a playful expression as she taps her cheek in thought. ]
Well, baths might be a way to wind down before dinner. And, you had wanted to show me traditions the Borels had for Starlight... [ She smiles and nods. ] If we don't intend to go anywhere else this night, then, I think it the best option.
Should I message K'thisru to be on her way home?
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If you like, you could extend an invitation to your sister to join us here, if she so desires. Surely a room here would be of more comfort to her than one in the inn.
[ His tone is no less genuine and his words are as heartfelt as always, even though his mind is presently focused on the spark of an idea that formed when the steward mentioned baths.
Surely it is skirting the bounds of propriety, and it would involve no small measure of sneaking about, but- There is a part of Aymeric that still retains a little of what he would call childishness. But the driving force behind this seed of an idea is not childishness, but a desire to have more private moments with her.
Still, he hesitates to mention it, in case it is not what she wants at all. ]
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She may feel she is imposing. Although, I'll be certain to make the point that she's not.
[ A practiced smile takes her face as she stands up and starts to smooth out her dresss, reaching behind her to lose where it has bundled up. Their escorts will return shortly, and so she sees little point in attempting to get back to what they had been doing. ]
Although, I admit, I didn't plan to bring a new pair of clothes...
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[ He also rises then, and reaches out to try and assist with the smoothing of her skirts. ]
Of course, you may borrow mine as you once did, if that is to your liking. I certainly hope that you were comfortable on that occasion.
[ At this rate, he will have to ensure that she has a wardrobe for her use, and that it is filled with various pieces of clothing for her to use. And of course, he realizes that she has her own clothes, but he would like to begin making this place her home as well. ]
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I'll be certain to impress that on her.
[ A slight blush takes her face at his suggestion. She looks down, fingers starting to twist around one another in her nervous habit. ]
That would most certainly be better once Thisru has gone to bed.
[ Although, she cannot help but wonder if she should continue to share a room with Aymeric. Of course, she wishes to, especially if they are to be wed. Yet, is that what he would wish? She finds herself going back and forth wondering what might be too far into one direction or another. ]
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[ Not that the house has been lacking in life, exactly, but it has been rather quiet. All three of them who have lived here for so long are accustomed to it, but on the occasions that Aymeric speaks candidly with the steward and the maid, and vice versa, all three have expressed an interest in the house not being so quiet any longer. ]
Then that is how it will be. [ And he means to welcome her to his room and his bed for as long as she wishes. What is his is also hers, and he means to withhold nothing from her, including himself if that is what she desires. ]
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[ In her mind, the Borels were his parents. Thordan and his mistress may have been the ones who brought Aymeric into the world, but they were not the ones that gave him home and love. Even then, she knows that Aymeric has always felt something for his late-birth father. That reason alone is why she will not speak in detail of how the battle with Thordan went.
Her ears lay down ever so slightly underneath her hat. It seems such a lonely life, but, perhaps it was more of an intimate familial relationship then. She turns to cast her gaze over the sitting room once more. It is clear that the manor had been designed for a family larger than just one son... had the Borels been unable to have a child of their own? Had they lost their heir in the war of the dragons?
In the end, she supposes it may not matter much. Aymeric was certainly a blessing to the Borels, and saw him no different than a child of their own bloodlines. She feels that perhaps he inherited more than names, titles, and a home from them. Something far more precious and deep. Yet, she would need to come to understand the Borels better to be certain. Especially if she is to marry into their family legacy.
Alkaid turns back to him and nods quietly to his next statement. Of course, he had already once said that he more than welcomed sharing his room with her. Part of her simply cannot help but wonder what will change now that they are betrothed. She would hope nothing, but, that small part of her feels as if it would be best to act as one of his culture should. The minor debate within her settles upon that notion, knowing that he would say he desires something, but ultimately would act on the more traditional.
She reaches forward to squeezes his hand gently. ]
Then, I will see you at dinner--and let K'thisru know to be on her way as soon as she can.
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[ He has wondered on occasion if they would be sad to see their home so empty and quiet. But it seems to him that to think along those lines for too long is only borrowing trouble. She is not wrong in any of her suppositions about the Borels or about Thordan. Aymeric has a great deal of love for the ones who raised him, and no small amount of longing for a relationship that is no longer possible.
The Borels were a blessing to him, and he desperately wishes he could say the same for Thordan. But perhaps that is the remnant of the foolish hopes of a much younger man.
His expression shifts to a more pensive look as he thinks back to those early, happier days, and then the days that came following their passing. Ultimately, he decides that it is best not to dwell on such gloomy topics, and of course, he would not bore her with them either.
So he gives her a warm smile and a nod. ]
I look forward to seeing you both.
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