Lᴜɴᴀꜰʀᴇʏᴀ Nᴏx Fʟᴇᴜʀᴇᴛ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guidingmoonlight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synthneon2021-07-16 01:48 am
guidingmoonlight) wrote in synthneon2021-07-16 01:48 am
Entry tags:
YGO PSL | ❝ i am not lying, i am just trying to find my way in to you. ❞
( continued from yonder! )
[ Her other hand raises and gestures to the bed behind him. It had been a set of normal circumstances in getting ready to rest for the night. Even down to the fact she was dressed for bed. Unspoken, of course is how she misses his presence. It hardly matters in their current circumstances -- or at all. Pinning for one does none of them any good. Priorities and needs will always shift, and, Lunafreya has always believed those come before wants and desires.
Although she has been known to be young and naive in such ways.
Lunafreya shifts her gaze back to him in order to answer his next question. "Answer" that is. He has been able to understand her thus far at least.
Then, a change in the air.
Yugi appears beside Atem. He looks between Lunafreya and his partner. ]
Other Me? What's going on?
[ Lunafreya glances at the space where she feels the shift in the air. She turns back to surveying the room with one hand remaining on his shoulder to help her stay upright. A hand raises out beside her in order to try and summon her Trident. That, as it turns out, was the wrong decision to make. Her arm starts to shake as it feels sharp pricks make its way up her skin.
A soundless gasp leaves her at the sudden pain. In a sweeping moment, she crumbles back down to the ground where she had once stood.
Yugi's attention snaps to her as it sinks in that they're in her room. ]
Luna?!
no subject
There must exist a medium between what they should and what they wish for.
The other hand that trembles raises to rest on the other side of his face. Perhaps how they have decided to move forward has not been the wisest. If they both contort themselves in such ways, then, it must not be the correct method for achieving what they both desire for themselves and for Yugi. While she doubts they will change their mind on their decision? They must find another way to achieve it. Otherwise, they will continue to hurt themselves.
Lunafreya leans forward and gently brushes her nose to his at his statement. Failing her? He has done no such thing. Once his attention is focused on her, she leans in again to rest her forehead to his. Her thumbs brush along his cheeks as she quietly ignores how her own have been stained with tears.
What is it you desire, my love? Tell me. Hold nothing back. Say everything that weighs your heart down. I will find a way to tell you all that burdens mine.
Her fingers move to his blond bangs, threading the hair between each one. ]
no subject
The only thing that he feels he has the right to wish for is for Lunafreya to be restored to how she should be: with her voice returned and her wellbeing intact. He believes that she still has a place in this world, whether as the Oracle or simply as herself, and as such, he only wants to see her doing well and being healthy. He would wish for every barrier between them to be torn down so that he could finally be with her without anything keeping them apart, but even wishing for that feels selfish.
No, all he wants is for her to be well. His own desires and wishes should come second to that. Never mind that denying what he truly wants and yearns for is only causing more wounds to form on his heart. He won't be admitting that to anyone, but knowing Lunafreya, she probably already knows that, because her own heart must surely carry similar, if not the same, injuries.
With their foreheads resting together, he allows his eyes to close, taking in the feel of her thumbs brushing against his cheeks.
She can't speak, but somehow, her wordless request reaches him anyway. Perhaps it's because they've become so close that they don't really need words to communicate. He's never really been good with words anyway, not in the day to day. In duels, he can call out commands and respond to his opponents, and when he's a spectator, calling out encouragement to his friends is equally easy.
But speaking about himself and what he wants or needs? He has to admit that he doesn't know how to do that. But she's still there seemingly waiting for an answer, and he honestly doesn't know what he ought to say.
As her fingers twine through his hair, something he didn't intend to give voice to bursts out of him before he can stop it: ]
I want to help you get better. [ He's said as much already, and he's said why he feels that way, but he still can't shake off the idea that it's his fault she's in the state that she is. ]
It's because of me that this happened, and now I have to fix it. [ Maybe that's not all that's weighing on him, but it's a large part of it. And he knows he won't be able to fully rest (or get what little rest he usually does) until he's figured out how to reverse what's been done. ]
no subject
He had something else he desired at one point. Something beyond Yugi's happiness and her health. Does he still want it? She will not push past any barriers or bring them closer until she knows one way or another.
She nods to what he does say. He has expressed as much through out the night. There are no intentions of sending him away or refusing his aid. If he wishes to speak to her ancestors on her behalf - should he need to - then she will not stand in his way. Even if this is far from his own doing. She would have had to contend with Dartz and his forces on her own if she had never met them. Perhaps she may not have been drained magically, but, there is no guarantee that she would have lived through the onslaught the ancient king brought on the world. While her current state grips her with fear? It is far better than possibly dying alone. This is not something she chooses to share at the moment, namely due to her voiceless state.
Instead, she titls her head enough to be able to brush her lips to his cheek. As with anything she does, she is gentle with the motion. He has never been a frail individual even if he has felt that way and does not need to be handled as such. Lunafreya has simply learned that the gentler ways are ones he responds to. Perhaps it is because the life he cannot remember had been harsh with little comfort to be found.
She cannot speak the name he once gave her, but she is certain he can sense it even with his eyes closed. Her other hand slips to cradle the back of his head with her fingers weaving between his spiked hair. He will no doubt insist he should be the one comforting her... but can he while they are so distant?
Yami. Tell me. ]
no subject
Part of him doesn't even know what he might want or ask for even if he allowed himself to. It's true that there was something he desired, but he's mostly forgotten what that was, mostly due to his concern for her and his wish to see her back to normal. That wish does trump nearly everything else, after all.
Another thought enters his mind then; he was a Pharaoh once, with subjects who looked to him to take care of the kingdom and by extension, to take care of them as well. He might not remember what sort of ruler he was or if he was loved or hated by the people he ruled over, but whether he remembers it or not, he feels as though it's still his responsibility to care for the people closest to him. If he can't rise up even in the face of whatever trials get thrown at him, then what use is he, after all?
Lunafreya and Gentiana might insist that none of this is his responsibility or his fault, but he still can't shake the feeling that the opposite is true. He put Yugi in harm's way, and now Lunafreya is also experiencing a trial of her own. No, if there's anything he wishes for, it's that he'll have the strength to set everything to rights and restore Lunafreya to how she's meant to be: whole and unharmed.
And truthfully, whether he'll allow himself to admit it or not, it's her soft movements and touches that he responds to the most. As long as he's able, he'll always respond to her, but part of him needs the affection that she offers. He doesn't know why that is, or what might have happened to him in the past that made him feel that way, but he can't help it.
When she places her hand against the back of his head, he unconsciously leans into her touch as the words he wants to say fight against the walls he's thrown up. It hardly seems becoming for a king to express himself so freely, but still, his feelings crash against those walls like a wave crashing on the shore.
She might feel him begin to shake once more beneath her hold as he wrestles with that feeling that he must comport himself as he thinks a pharaoh would and the desire to just tell her everything that's weighing on him. It might not be fair to her, not when she's already weighed down herself, but there are some things that just can't be held back. ]
I'm- [ Words finally come, but they're inadequate and not at all what he wants to say. ]
I can't. [ A pause. ] I'm sorry.
im so sorry, this tag is a monster.. ;_;
Being at the side of a king is not merely a notion of bliss. It takes sacrifice, patience, and understanding. Support is called for even if she is to disagree with his decision. Confidence and trust is required... even if the answers she receives leave wounds on her heart. She can see how far he is willing to let her in now. There was a brief time that she was allowed in with no barriers or walls. That time seems to have come to a close.
A nod is given to his answer and she prays he might not sense the hurt in her heart at it. Lunafreya opens her eyes, but casts her gaze downward at the bed. If he cannot bring down the walls then she must be the one to bring down hers. She had said she would share all that burdens her heart and she intends to stay true to her word regardless of his answer. Then, at the very least, he can decide how much of her he will accept. He can be the one to draw the lines. She will respect any boundaries he places up no matter the cost it causes her.
One hand leaves his face to reach for the one settled in her hair. She gently removes it, only so that she might rest it against her heart. Her fingers slide between his and find what she once considered their usual resting place between his. If this is to be the only time she can share all that burdens her, all that she desires... where does she start? There is a fear that he will reject her when he sees her without her walls, or her trappings of the Oracle, but that is an outcome she must be willing to accept.
I am afraid. Afraid that I may no longer be able to be the Oracle - even if I recover. Afraid that I will have no purpose or place in this world if so. What am I to be if not that what I was born to be? What right, claim, or request do I have to be with you and your friends if I cannot be that person?
A deep frown comes to her face then as she squeezes his hand. Tears gather at the corner of her eyes and begin to run down her cheeks.
I am afraid to be left alone in this empty house again. Yet, where else am I to be? I would not infringe more on the lives of your friends and cause more upset than there is. It is not my place to ask to see you, to speak with you, or to be at your side even if it is what I want most. When I am able must be yours and Yugi-sama's decision. Even if you had not wished for it, I would insist...
Lunafreya's eyebrows come together as her other hand retracts from his hair. It curls around the hand in her hold as if to hold onto a lifeline as tears continue to make their way down her face once again.
I love you. Perhaps I love you far too deeply. Perhaps you do not love me the same. I am aware that could be true. I miss you, maybe even more than I should or more than you are comfortable with. Maybe you do not miss me. I am aware that it is childish and naive of me, but I cannot help how I feel.
She is certain most of what comes from her heart is lost along the way. She believes their bond to be strong, but, can he truly sense all that she is trying to say without her voice? ]
<3 monster tags are what we do best
And as she begins to give wordless voice to her inner thoughts, fears, and desires, something seems to happen then. As if the Puzzle around his neck senses his own fears about what might happen if she never regains her voice. Of course, they both know that somehow, their thoughts toward each other can transcend actual speech, but when it's her voice that he misses and desperately wants to hear, that isn't solution enough.
So, unexpectedly, the Puzzle begins to glow, and oddly enough, so does the Trident, from its spot on the wall.
Atem doesn't notice at first, because he has his eyes focused on Lunafreya, as if doing so will help him hear what she's trying to say. But suddenly, his own eyes go wide, because although Lunafreya isn't speaking audibly, he can hear her voice as if she is. It isn't quite the same way that he and Yugi communicate, but nevertheless, he swears that he can hear her thoughts as she attempts to express them. It surprises him because it's the last thing that he expected to occur.
Could it be that somehow, each of their magical items registered the fact that their owners desperately wanted to speak with each other but were prevented from doing so by ordinary means? He remembers Yugi saying that the Millennium Puzzle granted his wish; could the ancient item have done the same for him?
Their hands are already joined, with her fingers laced between his, and as he listens to her, his grip on her hands tightens. Not to the point that it's uncomfortable, but he just wants to emphasize that he's right there with her and he's listening to everything she's saying.
He doesn't interrupt the flow of words coming from her, but he does disentangle one hand from hers long enough to try and wipe away some of the tears that are streaming down her cheeks.
It isn't until she stops that he finally tries to test what he thinks has just happened.
Luna? It's as he thought. It isn't quite the same as the way he and Yugi can just reach out to each other; somehow, it seems to be dependent on the presence of their respective items, as if the two have formed a connection to mirror that of their owners. But he's not about to question it too much, because he's missed the sound of her voice so much that hearing it in any way at all is more than he could have ever asked for.
I don't understand how this is happening, but I can hear every word you're saying.
It's then that he returns the hand that he moved earlier to join with hers again, and he gives her hands yet another squeeze.
As long as I'm here, you won't be left alone. And what's more, I'll find a way to bring your voice back, and to ensure that you fully recover, even if I have to search for three thousand more years. As for your purpose, you'll be our friend- our greatest friend.
He pauses then, and he adds, but for his ears only: And the person that I wish to be with for however much time we have. He'd say "forever", but he doesn't wish to give her false hope when he might not be able to make forever a reality.
And he has one more thing he wishes to make perfectly clear: I believe that I was wrong to set the terms that I did, but I didn't see just how wrong I was until now. Whenever you wish to see me, or spend time with me, all you have to do is ask. He knows that Yugi only wants them to be happy, and that even though he hasn't told Yugi exactly what it was that he and Lunafreya agreed on, he can tell that Yugi isn't happy with how the two of them have been acting.
Finally, he concludes his response with one last thing: I don't think it's possible for me not to miss you or to not love you.
And he hopes that she understands what he means when he responds that way. It's only then that he looks at her, waiting for her to look at him in return. ]
*DEEP BREATH* aight here we go
How their communication has been made possible truly matters little to Lunafreya. Magic is a part of both of them, running down to the cores of who and what they are. It would be no surprise to her that somehow each of their respective magics have woven together. Regardless of their relationship, the Trident and the Puzzle have had a shared history in the past. They may simply be reaching out through that link to speak with one another. Although, she is not certain how that could be for her. It feels as if her own magic has been silenced; a dam placed over the river that normally flows through her and is apart of everything she does. Doubtless it works the same for him, even if Atem has forgotten it and cannot recognize it as such.
She eases into his touch as his fingers brush across her cheeks. If he is starved of affection in any way, then she is as well. Ravus is distant. Gentiana, while a maternal figure, is not human and therefore cannot always provide what it is a human might need. She even leans forward to keep his touch on her face as he pulls away, only to settle slightly as he clasps her hands again in return.
Greatest friend? No, she would not put herself on such a high pedestal. She is merely one of many that help lift both himself and Yugi. They would be capable of what they can do without her as they have so many others to take the place she has. Instead, she will settle simply for being that one of many supports. Perhaps then... perhaps then she might be able to stay in Japan with them should she be unable to be the Oracle any longer.
Her fingers run along side his in a gesture that she has listened to him. His voice echoes in the back of her mind as if it were thoughts of her own. Her eyes remain closed. A fresh wave of tears finds their way down her cheeks.
I have respected your wish, my dear Pharaoh, but I would still do the same without the knowledge of it. She would still have placed herself away from them and stepped out of their path. Out of respect for his bond with Yugi as well as not wishing to cause more grief for Anzu.
It cannot be as simple as asking - can it? Lunafreya is unaccustomed to asking for anything that she may want or need outside her calling. The mere idea that all is required of her is to ask Yugi such a simple thing seems daunting. Why would he agree when it would take time away from him and his friends? Why would he be so sacrificing of his time? Yugi bares the responsibility of protecting and caring for the Puzzle and the soul within it. Surely that cannot extend to something as simple as what she wants.
Words have never suited them well when it comes to what they shield behind their barriers. She could talk for hours and never truly express how she feels. She spoke with him at length in his grief to no avail. In her mind, it is what they express through actions and touch that can truly breath through the walls they place around them. That is the reason why she does not answer him with her voice in any form.
She still remains determined to let down her walls even if he cannot do the same for her. She hopes he understands that she misses him in his entirety. Their conversations, their time together, his touch even if it still is through another. What she truly desires is for them to be as they were in America, regardless of her condition. His touch, his desires, their boundaries gone. Save the one that they will not cross out of respect for Yugi.
Can he give her that at the very least?
She closes the physical space between them once again and kisses him. This is something that only he can do for her; something that only he can give. ]
alright taking a stab at this
It's that thought, combined with the knowledge of how he's hurt her before, that leads him to continue letting his fingers travel where they may: across her face, weaving lightly through her hair, and in a rare moment of letting himself be bold, traveling down past her throat to travel to a more sensitive region where his hands finally come to a stop.
Perhaps if her magic has been silenced, he can find a way to use his own magic to restore hers. Whatever the cost, he's willing to do it.
And she truly is their greatest friend: his and Yugi's. His world would be incomplete without the two of them in it, and as such, he hopes that they remain with him for as long as they wish to. She is more than a support and a source of wisdom; she is their friend and the person he knows he's fallen in love with. Now if only giving his heart to her, fully and completely, was so easy as simply desiring to do that.
She will always have a place with them; that much, Atem remains adamant about. If she wishes to stay in Japan, he'll do his best to convince Yugi. Not that he believes it will be needed. Yugi cares for Lunafreya too, he's certain of it.
But you don't have to do that. You should have what it is you want, and no one should stop you from having it, not even me. I was wrong to ask that of you. It should be as simple as asking, and again, Atem is determined to make this that simple.
When she kisses him yet again, this time, a moan of satisfaction escapes him and he doesn't even attempt to hold it back. She is all he could ever want, and this time, he means to take this as far as both of them can and are willing to go. ]
mobile it is, your 502 errors shall not stop me, dw!
Her hands unravel from his as they begin to move across her skin, her hair, down her body. Despite her attempts of refinement, she feels herself react to his idle wandering. Her eyelids flutter as his hands come to a stop and part of her can't help but wonder why he has. She knows he hesitates and is unsure of himself. He never has to feel that way when just the two of them remain.
A sound escapes her at his moan; a broken attempt to return the sound with a voice that refuses to work as it should. She instead parts her lips to deepen the kiss. Her fingers begin to travel up his arms and shoulders. They come to a rest at the base of his head, fingertips only ever so lightly brushing into the edges of his hair.
I... Lunafreya struggles to respond. The words are there, but expressing them is so very difficult. She will not turn away from her decision to let him in no matter how hard it might be.
Even if he comes to a realization she is not worth his time any longer.
I am only... she trails off once again. Her voice in his mind seems to be more of whisper. I have little to offer other than the voice afforded to the Oracle... no titles, no land, no promise at a normal life. So little of who I am is not the Oracle... how might I ever be enough...
Lunafreya breaks their kiss only so that her eyes meet his. She stood by him not as just the Oracle, but as herself as well. Even then she took great care to hide the loneliness the girl feels. Now, it is on display for him to see. Her constant inner struggle to be that which she believes she must be, while sacrifice what she wants as her destiny demands all from her. She does not know how to reconcile both parts as her mother and her grandmother did. All she can think to do is serve those she loves and hope that it is enough for her..
Her hands move from his hair to cradle his face. With some effort, she turns so that she might lay on her back. Her hands never move even as she readjusts her position. One strap slips off her shoulder and down her arm. There is no sign of the Oracle in her expression - only Luna.
She offers whatever he may wish to have of her - if anything at all. He may turn away now that he can see her stripped of her title, her birthright, her magic. A lonely girl who fears losing everything if she does not try her utmost, but feels she could never ask for more than what is given to her.
Her fingertips brush along his cheeks. She desires all of him in every sense. Yet, she does not want him to give that simply because of her desires. He needs to desire her in whole as well. Now, he can decide that, as she lays there on her back with nothing left to hide.]
nothing shall stop us >:(
The girl beneath the Oracle is the one he's fallen in love with, and what's more, she's the one that he needs. He can't imagine a life without her in it, even though part of him still feels as though he's only hindering her and cheating her of everything she deserves, simply because he has one foot in this world and another foot in a world far removed from this one. And yet as long as he remains, he wishes to be with her. And perhaps he won't ever leave this world; as things stand now, he can't help but think that maybe that wouldn't be so bad.
As for why his hands stop before they can go too far, he wonders if this attention is what she wants. Is it even what she needs? He should be doing something to help bring her voice back, and yet he can't seem to stop his hands from wandering and straying into more intimate places. He supposes if this isn't something she wants, she'll make that known, with or without words. And also he'll do his best to be attentive to any messages that she gives off, in case this isn't something she wants.
Once again, his head dips back just slightly in response to the feel of her fingers in his hair. Even so, he manages to keep control of his voice so that he can continue to answer her properly.
You bring more than enough. You are more than enough. I don't need titles or land or even a normal life, because I don't have any of those things to offer you either. Yes, he knows that he is (or was?) a Pharaoh, but as of this precise moment, that hardly seems to be a thing worth bragging about or treating as something he can offer her.
All I need is you, Luna. I can see you here, not the Oracle, but you. It isn't the Oracle that means everything to me. He shakes his head carefully, with respect for her hands that are still resting on his face.
You're who I need, if you'll- He pauses then, hands moving to rest lightly against her shoulders as she lies there on her back, still looking up at him.
If you'll allow me to show you how much I need you, and how much I care about you.
These aren't words that he remembers ever speaking before, and to some degree, they feel foreign to his ears. And yet even as he makes his feelings known, he knows that he means every word, that nothing he's ever said up to this point has been said with more sincerity and truth behind it. He just hopes that she can find it in herself to believe him and to allow him to show her his true feelings and more. ]
>:( no errors, no fear of long tags, we shall PRESS ON
Regardless of the thoughts surrounding her current state, her attention returns back to him. She always wishes be apart of his life, to have his attention, to be with him in any manner of way. His touch and notions are far from unwanted. Her body aches, her voice silenced, and her arm shaking from the attempt at summoning the Trident... even then she would ask he continue to move and know her intimately. She misses him.
It wasn't until the night after they defeated Dartz that she realized how much she missed him. How she had grown so used to being at his side. She tossed and turned from pain of her injury, moving to her side to reach out to him for comfort. Yet, all she found was an empty space and the settling realization of it all. She knew even as Yugi and Atem came to her and Gentiana for aid how much she missed him and how much she would continue to do so. She refused to let it show. It would do neither of the young men any good to see how she struggled with her wounds, her heartache, and her inability to reconcile the two halves of her. She would wait until either soul reached out to her... regardless of how much she wished to reach out.
As she watches him, a quiet note is made to herself at how he reacts to her fingers at his hair. If she recalls correctly, he also enjoyed her fingers at the back of his neck and shoulders. She can already tell how tension has seemingly built back in that same location and her mind turns at the best way to help with it. Then, his voice is in her thoughts again and pulling her attention back to what he says.
Lunafreya remains quiet as he continues. Her eyes widen slightly, the few remaining tears find their way out from the corners of her eyes. He has said or done nothing wrong. It merely is something she never thought she might hear no matter how many years she lived on their star. The idea that she may be needed, not merely wanted, as herself and not the Oracle... when she cannot even see how she can be only herself...
Her fingers gently trail down his face. How can she respond? What words could she ever use that would suffice? His hands are at her shoulders so she dare not lean upwards to kiss him. Instead her fingertips move across his jawline and then back into his hair.
She nods, finding that even the words she might think have disappeared. She wishes to express so much more. But, perhaps, a simple nod is all he needs.
If he wishes to show her - to say what he cannot speak? She will welcome it with open arms as she always has. If he wishes to have her, he can and always has been able to have all of her. ]
no subject
But that life seems to be distant and all but impossible, at least if things remain the way they are now. And he sees no alternative presenting itself.
And neither does he see a way out of this current situation. He can't bring her voice back through sheer force of will, even though he wants to see her whole and recovered.
I should be doing more. There must be some way to- "Save you" is what comes to mind, but the situation isn't that dire. At least, as far as he knows, it isn't. He can't see a reason why she wouldn't be able to recover from this, and if there is such a reason, he doesn't want to even give it a second's thought. She'll be all right, because he can't accept a situation in which she won't be. There must be a way to heal you.
And even as he continues to try and offer what expressions of love and comfort that he can, his mind is spinning as he desperately tries to think of who he could ask for help or what he might to do see her returned to normal. ]
no subject
She tilts her head at his words and how he "speaks" them. She has learned how to tell when his thoughts are slipping away. While his fall was far more drastic than this, several small things remain the same. Her hands guide his head up just a bit so she might look him in the eyes. The usual intense gaze is something softer and vulnerable now, but still direct and asking his full attention return to her.
You have done more than enough for me... more than I could ever hope for or deserve. A finger presses to his lips gently to allow her to finish. You have already saved me , my dear Pharaoh. You needn't do more.
He may have not said the words, but, she has an inclination based on the tone of his voice. It matters little that he is unable to restore her voice on his own. He has made a place for her in his life, and thus, saved her from losing her own wish inside the mantle of the Oracle. What little of Luna remains outside of her calling has been not only pulled from it, but held and protected. Losing her voice permanently would be a worthy trade for that in her mind.
One hand leaves his face to find his. She guides it along her side and down to her hip.
I'm certain that no one else could do for me what you have already done.
Despite strain, Lunafreya leans upwards just enough to press her forehead to his. Her eyes still remain locked with his. She guides his hand from her hip to the inside of her thigh, testing to see how far he wishes to take his affections.
Nothing else can be done tonight, Yami. Focus on us -- the fact that we are together again... however long it may last. ]
no subject
There's nothing that he wants more than to be with her somehow, and although it might seem impossible, sometimes solutions just appear even when they aren't expected. For now, though, he resumes focusing on her and the way she asks him to return his attentions to her.
And yet I can't do the one thing that would really help you: find a way to restore your voice. He doesn't actually manage to complete that sentence before he finds her pressing a finger against his lips. You don't think I'm letting you down by not being able to help you with this? It seems clear that she doesn't think that, and of course, he shouldn't be asking for her reassurance, but the question slips out before he can stop it.
And little does he know what she's currently thinking, that it doesn't matter to her that he can't fix what's happened. He just sees this as another failure on his part, and that still feels unacceptable to him.
It isn't until she moves his hand down her side and to her hip that he pulls himself out of his own thoughts once more. Once his hand comes to a stop on the inside of her thigh, he lightly ghosts his fingers along the skin there, because of course he wants to plainly show his affections, even though his mind is still turning with thoughts about what to do and how he can help.
But then she speaks and he zeroes in on that once more. What if it turns out that we find a way to make it last forever? No, he doesn't want to give her false hope, but there's still a part of him that believes they'll find a way to achieve that somehow. ]
no subject
She smiles gently then. The question itself seems endearing in a way. A shake of her head is given as an answer. No, my dear. The only thing that you could ever do to let me down would be to stop doing your utmost to achieve what it is you truly desire deep within your heart.
Lunafreya knows he does all in his power to help those he cares for. He is a warrior and a king, not a healer with magic balms. She does not expect him to find a way to resolve what has happened to her -- when it most certainly is of her own doing. She never stopped, not even after Dartz had been put to rest. She went straight to her duties, feeling it best to pull away until Yugi or Atem called on her. She healed and saw to matters of politics where she was needed, hoping the red notebook she sent with Umbra might help them feel connected in some way. Even when she returned to Japan she continued her duties remotely, and helped those who might be in need in Domino. She supposes that her current state was bound to happen with how careless she had become in her duties. By trying to suppress the girl and what she wanted, she wore herself down.
The gentle smile remains even as a look of sadness takes her eyes. Forever. Such a simple but romantic notion. One that she is very aware has little application in the world -- even more so with their situation. Now, she stands by that they must find another solution to their relationship and not impeding on Yugi's life. Their previous decision has clearly only caused more harm than good, and, she can tell Yugi has never been fond of the distance they put between them.
Forever is quite the promise, is it not? She opts to go a more playful route despite the lingering tone in her "voice." You may not wish to have me at your side forever.
Her fingers brush along his before guiding them further down. She stops both their hands before breaching that last step and making sure her gaze locks to his. Would he wish to go that far? ]
no subject
What I desire is to see you completely recovered. And so that means he can't stop in his pursuit of ensuring that happens. If he does, then he truly will be letting her down, and he can't accept that.
It might seem like a trite notion, but if he has to scour the world to find someone who can use magic or other arts to heal her, then that's what he'll do. She might not expect him to go to such lengths, but he's already resolved to do what he must. And in a way, the fact that she pushed herself so hard in the first place is also his fault.
He should never have made her feel like she had to pull away from him, waiting for either him or Yugi to seek her out.
Of course it is, but there must be a way for us to achieve what we both want. It's just a matter of working with the hurdles that they have. But I know that I'll stay with you for as long as you'll have me.
As for the progress that their hands are making, he would go that far without hesitation, except it isn't just him that he has to think about. What would Yugi say if he knew what they did? It feels like nothing short of disrespect to even consider it.
And yet he decides to push the boundaries of that last step and place his hands just on the threshold of that boundary, intending it to be an intimate gesture that he hopes underlines his desire to go that far while still refraining out of respect for Yugi.
As his hands move, he keeps his eyes locked on hers, not bothering to conceal the intensity contained in them. ]
**aggressively writes this on lunch whatever >>**
Then, I should be a model patient. Lunafreya gives him a small, but, endearing smile. That you wouldn't need to worry so.
The hand remaining on the side of his face gently turns, allowing her to trail the back of her fingers down his jaw. As long as she'd have him? To match his sentiment, she would have him forever if only she could. The mixture of the love for who he is as a person and the ability of the Oracle to serve a king makes creates the feeling of fulfillment and happiness she never thought she would ever have. Perhaps that is why parting from him is causes the ache that it does.
I would have you with me always. She echoes his earlier statement. If we could be blessed with such a thing.
There is no doubt in her mind that she would still love him even once his memories returned. The core of who he is has surely remained the same. She could not see him being heartless or punishing those needlessly.
She holds his gaze as his hands finally cross the boundary. She holds nothing against him for his hesitation or pause. In her mind, it is only Atem who can decide how far they go or what they might do. He knows Yugi's heart, and thus what his partner would deem allowable by a shared body. While she has desires and they pull at her? She would not have them disrupt the trust between the two.
After all, the harmony of the two will always come first in her mind.
She intends to keep her eyes locked to his. Yet, as her body grows familiar with his touch, they flutter shut. She shifts under him, a restrained sound akin to a moan attempting to find its way out from the invisible fingers that grip her voice. Her own hands move to his hair, nails brushing along his scalp as fingers entwine in his hair.
She will only go as far as he wishes. Though, she can't help the shiver that takes her as she can still feel his intense gaze on her. ]
wraps this up for the next one :3
As for him, what drew her to him and made him realize he loves her was her ability to be kind to just about everyone, even to those who were more than a little bit trying. It's her kindness, understanding, and patience that drew him in, and now he can't imagine a life without her in it. She wants to serve him, but he in turn wants to do the same for her, in whatever form that takes.
And if he has doubts about who or what he'll be when his memories return, those doubts are far from his mind at this time. All he can think about is her and the feel of her skin beneath his hands as they travel to places yet unvisited. He would go farther than this if he thought he could. Perhaps one day, they'll be able to step over the threshold and step into a new level of intimacy. For now, this will have to be enough.
He can feel the need to close his eyes and sleep for a time beginning to sweep over him, so it's with no small amount of reluctance that he shifts his position so that he's lying beside her rather than above her and moves one hand from its exploration to rest at her waist. To just lie here next to her is enough, even though part of him wishes to continue traveling down the intimate path they were on.
But, he reasons, she must be tired from her exertions, and it would hardly be kind of him to keep her awake if she wishes to rest. You must be getting tired. We can sleep anytime you want to. He says, wanting to know how she feels, her lack of voice and other problems aside. It won't take him long at all to drift off himself, if she says she's ready to call it a night. ]