synthneon | YGO PSL | ❝ i forget why i stay, and wonder if they'd notice if i slipped away. ❞

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YGO PSL | ❝ i forget why i stay, and wonder if they'd notice if i slipped away. ❞

			RAIN
		

( for once a post not continued from a meme!! we just continuing this hurt/comfort train down the way to hell. )

[ It was almost strange coming back home to Japan. It wasn't as if he had gotten used to being in America or their customs (or food - the size of the portions). More of it had to do with routine and getting back to normal day-to-day life. School work, tests, helping in the game shop. There were no tournaments, no life threatening situations. Strange is the word he guesses he'd put to it all if he had to find one. Somehow he had gotten used to the duels, the stakes, the adventure. Everything else is just... mundane.

That isn't the only issue, even though he'd like to point it to being the only one.

As the days go on and life returns to normal? The reality of time just becomes more apparent to him. Each day brings graduation closer. Graduation means the next step in their lives... and that means everyone will be going their separate ways. Usually Yugi can look past that. He can enjoy the time he has with everyone, but, it must be the combination of everything this particularly rainy autumn day. Graduation, what he'll do after school, and what he should do as the keeper of the Millennium Puzzle versus what he wants.

Autumn... graduation is in March. He'll be nineteen afterwards. It'll have been three years since he solved the Millennium Puzzle and woke the spirit that resides in it. Only three years. It feels like a lifetime, but, one he's glad to have had. A lifetime that he can't help but feel is going to be ending sooner rather than later despite what everyone around him says.

He knows everyone has noticed how quiet he has been the last few days. Atem still has been rather distant from everyone since they arrived back home. Yugi has decided not to bother his other self with what is going on in his head. Oh, he's sure Atem has sensed it and has even figured it out, but, he's still contending with his own issues left over from Dartz. Yugi doesn't plan to complicate that more with his own emotional battles. He'll have to rely on just himself if Atem ever leaves anyways...

Yugi steps into the entrance way of the school to grab his shoes. That is when he notices Anzu standing outside underneath the cover of the entryway. He looks down - making sure that she doesn't notice him - before trying to make the mental leaps on how to avoid her inevitable questions if he has been alright. He doesn't want to think about it. As far as he can tell, she has chosen which one of the two she likes, and he can't blame her for that. He knows she isn't going to take I'm fine as an answer too much longer. He doesn't want to think about how she'll be leaving shortly after graduation to study abroad - just like she has always wanted to.

Everyone has someplace and somewhere they plan to go but him. Even his other self has a destined path that moves him forward. Maybe all Yugi is meant to do is make sure each of them go where they're supposed to go. That might be his role in all of it. What is the point of all of it then? He finally makes the friends he wants and then has to see them all leave him behind?

He sighs and pushes down his frustration. It'll just bring more unwanted attention to himself. Especially from the spirit of the Pharaoh who is most likely worried but hasn't addressed it all.

Yugi closes the locker door and stares at the ground for a moment. With a sidelong glance at Anzu outside, he turns his back to the front doors. He supposes what he is about to ask is highly uncharacteristic, but, he's probably entitled to some alone time in his own soul room after everything.

'Other Me?' He gently calls out in their shared link. Part of him hates to ask this because it must seem spineless to a person that commanded armies and controlled a kingdom. 'Can you do me a favor?' ]

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[ Seeing Yugi smile like that does something to Atem that he wasn't expecting: it makes him feel relieved and as though some of the worry and concern he's been carrying with him has lessened. It's still there with him, but he was also afraid that things would never be the same between them again. They might still be somewhat strained, but now he feels like there's a chance that they'll be able to recover from everything that happened because of what he's done. ]

You know, now that you mention it, I would like to experience other games besides Duel Monsters. [ It's what they're most familiar with, but he knows there must be other games out there. Of course he's seen games such as the one that Duke designed, but he still feels like there's other things out there that they could learn.

And then he pauses, because there is something he'd like to spend a little more time on, if Yugi's willing. ]

We spent a little time looking up history on your computer. [ Their progress there was interrupted, and in the aftermath of everything, resuming that was the farthest thing from his mind, but now that some of the dust seems to be settling, he wants to ask for that again. ]

Would you mind doing that again? [ Of course, there's some things that he knows, but it has been a long time for him and some of the details have become a bit faded over the years. He knows that he might not recall anything about himself or his life from such a search, but that's not all that can be found. ]

There's plenty of other games. We have board games downstairs in the shop, or there's video games. Most people tend to play those outside of card games now. Though, there's card games that are from out of Japan that I haven't really looked into. Then again, technically, Duel Monsters does come from America...

[ Yugi trails off with a bit of an embarrassed smile. It's easy to get him talking about games to the point he can never stop talking about them. It would be a matter of finding what kind of game his other self would like.

Then, he has an idea at the request from Atem. One he'll be keeping to himself until the time is right. It'll be a surprise that he'll need to research on his own too...

He sits up. ]

I wouldn't mind at all. What is it you want to look into?

[ He mentally makes note of all the options that Yugi's laid out for him. Of course, he enjoys the game of Duel Monsters, but he figures that it's time he learned a little about the other games out there in the world. To some extent, that particular game has had a shadow cast over it; shadows eventually disperse, so he's not worried about that, but part of him wants to learn a new game that he can play with Yugi just for fun. It might not be possible, but then again, they might find a way to manage it.

And of course, Yugi's enthusiasm for games of all kinds doesn't bother Atem at all. In fact, it makes him happy to see it. ]

If it's not too much trouble, Yugi- [ He pauses then, clearing his throat once. ] I'd like to learn how to play all of them: board games, video games, even another card game. Would you have the time for something like that?

Of course I have time for it.

[ He'd make any time that his other self might need. It doesn't matter if its with him, or Lunafreya, or even if Atem wanted to be alone. He'd find a way to make it happen. Yugi pushes himself off the bed and moves the box of treats from the floor onto the desk beside the red leather notebook. Then, he moves to the bedroom door with every intention of showing Atem what his Grandpa keeps in the storage room of the shop.

His dark mood still hangs in the back of his mind, but, he can focus on something else right now. He figures he'll take his time with Anzu in the morning in stride. For now? He wants to find a way to make his other self happy. Especially since it feels like continuing to talk about Lunafreya is a bit of a closed door. ]

[ Then, in spite of himself, Atem lets out an amused chuckle. ] Yugi, you know I didn't mean you had to show me right now. It's late, and you should be sleeping.

[ Of course, they both know that they wouldn't trade these nighttime talks for anything in the world, but too often, it seems as though he keeps Yugi awake late into the evening, although he's never heard his partner complain.

Still, he gets to his feet as well and moves after Yugi, knowing that once his partner has made up his mind, it's hard to get him to change it. ]

It'll give you something to think about tomorrow while I'm busy.

[ He looks back at his other self with a small knowing smile. Left on his own, Atem would doubtlessly wander the maze of the Puzzle. He'll probably even fall back into thinking about things that Yugi would consider solved. Except, it's rather obvious that the trauma from dealing with Dartz left more of an impact than what they faced in either Duelist Kingdom or Battle City.

Atem couldn't even look at what it was Lunafreya wrote him while he's not in control of Yugi's body. So, at the very least, looking at the other games in the shop might work as something else to keep the spirit's mind busy. It most likely won't work. Though, Yugi feels its worth a shot anyways.

The bedroom door opens and he quietly walks down the stairs, peaking around the corner to see if his mother or Grandpa are around. With the coast clear, he sets off to the storage room of the shop. There's more in here collecting dust than anything. Its saddening, but, the modern gaming scene doesn't see much worth in a lot of the older ways. Maybe that's something to consider trying to bring back after high school.

Yugi closes the door to the storage room and nods to his other self. ]

Have a look around and see if anything catches your eye.

All right, if you're sure.

[ He's used to his methods of passing the time. Not that time really means a lot to him, but he's grown accustomed to keeping an eye on it, because he generally knows when Yugi wakes up and when he's ready to go to sleep. But when he's inside the Puzzle, time really doesn't have a whole lot of significance. He's begun doing things like counting the number of times he's completed walking up an entire staircase and gone down it again, or how many steps are on a certain set of stairs.

And as Yugi already surmised, when he's not doing that, his mind does tend to travel back to thornier issues that he still believes he has to rectify, even if his partner would disagree.

As for Lunafreya, he intends to read what she wrote him, but not right now. Perhaps he will later, when the chance presents itself. For now, he wants to see what they might find in the storage room. The amount of dust in the room also makes Atem sad, but he supposes it only makes sense. The old ways are often replaced by the new, and that's just the way things seem to work.

He sees a variety of board games on the shelves, and all of them look intriguing, but he's decided that he wants to learn and hopefully master one before moving on to another. He points to the first one that leaps out at him, a shogi board and its pieces. ]

What do you know about this one?

[ It won't take much for either of them to master a game. Yugi will still say that Atem is better at any game they'd pick up. Not that he doubts his own ability in games or being able to understand them. He just knows that Atem can find strategies faster. Though, he does tend to overlook the human element sometimes. In Yugi's mind, that is why the both of them together make the person that holds the title of Duel King.

Yugi turns to look at the game that his other self picked. ]

Shogi. [ He can't help but smile. Of course the Pharaoh would find the one game about war and strategy. Though, he isn't sure if Atem is fully aware of the English equivilent so... ] There are two players. Each one has twenty pieces. One piece for both players is known as the King. The goal is to checkmate the other's King. You can capture each others pieces but also get them back.

It's a long game sometimes. [ Yugi scratches the side of his neck. ] The last one I saw Grandpa play was almost two hours.

[ Atem would certainly agree with Yugi there; he's learned a lot from him about how to be kind to people and how to remember that while he might be a displaced spirit, he was also human at one point. It's still easy for him to forget, but Yugi's taught him a lot of lessons about how to act and behave, and he does his best to remember what he's learned.

He listens as Yugi explains how shogi is played, and he finds himself feeling intrigued already. ]

I suppose that we shouldn't attempt starting it until we both have time, then.

[ Meaning that regardless of how interested he might be, he doesn't intend to keep Yugi up late because of a game. Never mind that it won't have been the first time, but he's aware that Yugi needs his sleep. ]

I'm sure that your grandfather is quite the skilled player. [ He can't help but think that both Yugi and his grandfather are the types of people who could easily learn any game that caught their eye. They just have the right kind of sharp instincts required for such things. ]

Next weekend? It gives us a week to look into the game more.

[ He smiles brightly at Atem. The two of them together make the Duel King - the King of Games - so what better way to learn a game than together? They have different approaches to their styles of victory. As he sees it? They can only be at their peak if they've learned from one another and woven their strengths and weaknesses together.

The only way to do that is to constantly test one another. Learn from one another. Tell each other what it is they can't say outside of how they play. ]

I guess we'll need a proxy again...

[ Yugi stops short. He won't bring Lunafreya up again or talking with her. Instead, he smiles up at his other self. ]

Grandpa hadn't played games in a long time. Maybe we should challenge him?

Next weekend is all right with me. [ It isn't as though he has any pressing demands or deadlines that need to be met. As such, he does his best to be respectful of Yugi's time whenever possible.

He even manages a smile in return, something that still feels foreign to him, almost as though he'd forgotten how to do that simple action. What he wants more than anything is to find a way for them to be as close as they once were: brothers and partners and best friends.

And if he's being completely honest, he considers dueling Yugi or playing opposite him (in normal circumstances, not ones orchestrated by necessity or evil forces) an absolute privilege and honor. It is still for fun, of course, but he still thinks of it that way. ]

I suppose we will. Do you think he would be willing or even interested in such a thing?

[ He respects Yugi's grandfather very much: perhaps even moreso than he does Yugi, simply because of the man's age. And he doesn't consider his own age in that because clearly, age and experience are two different things. ]

[ Despite his attempt at self-composure, Yugi practically beams at the plans set. He'd love to spend more time with his other self outside of just when they need to duel or talking about the day-to-day events. He hasn't forgotten about researching more of Egypt as well. If Atem isn't ready to retrieve his memories... then maybe this is how he can feel as if he's still fulfilling his duty as holder of the Millennium Puzzle. Being able to take care of someone shows in many different forms.

He has to wonder if it would be rude to ask for Gentiana's help again. Something tells him that the ancient duel monster wouldn't mind. She seemed to enjoy the duel she stood in as proxy for. Or, he thinks she did. It's hard to really understand what she is feeling. Still, he supposes he can reach out to Lunafreya and ask. Even if it oddly feels like it's stepping over some sort of boundary. Well, he'll ask later in the week. The morning should remain focused on Anzu as much as possible given she reached out to him. ]

I think he'd be more interested in playing against you. [ Yugi admits it a little sheepishly. ] He's played loads of games with me ... but never you. Once we're better at the game we should ask.

[ It really does lighten Atem's own spirits to see Yugi smiling like that. As far as he's concerned, his partner deserves all the happiness in the world, and if he can help bring him even a litle bit of that, then there's very little that he wouldn't do for him. Yugi's always been adamant that as the keeper of the Puzzle, he has to take care of the spirit inside said Puzzle, but Atem also believes that that goes both ways. He has to take care of his partner as well, and he believes he hasn't done a very good job of that thus far. ]

But that's hardly fun for you, Yugi. He should play a match with both of us, if only to make it fair and to involve us both.

[ But then his smile returns, perhaps even wider than before. ]

To play against your grandfather would be the biggest honor, as is playing against you.

[ He doesn't want there to be any doubt in Yugi's mind: any opportunity that he gives him to engage with either his grandfather (something he hasn't done yet) or Yugi (always a privilege) is something he considers very special and values as such. ]

I suppose we'll need the help of Gentiana once more. I wonder if Luna will enjoy watching such a thing again. [ She might enjoy it more than she did their last one, at least. Something about that seemed to upset her, but perhaps he was reading too much into it. Part of him doubts that, however. ]

Well...

[ Yugi looks back at the shogi set sitting on the shelf. It takes a moment to find the words and put them in the right place. He may not be reeling from his own emotional state like his partner. That doesn't mean the feelings have banished entirely. Speaking with Anzu in the morning may help, but, he's not sure it will. There's a lot in life he's uncertain about now. ]

I found the Millennium Puzzle on one of these shelves.

[ He glances around, moving around the set of shelves until he finds the exact one. Supplies take up the place where the solid gold box once sat, but, Yugi knows which one it is. His hand raises and he rests it on the shelf.

He spent weeks... months... trying to figure out how to get it out of the storage room without his Grandpa noticing. Eventually his Grandpa did figure it out and made it a game to see if Yugi could solve it. Of course it worked. Now, though, there's a sudden realization of how many people have been tied to the Millennium Puzzle... just so he could solve it and help the spirit who might as well truly be his other self. ]

Luna said that her grandpa met mine because he was investigating the Shadow Games, remember? [ He wonders then if her grandmother ever saw the golden box. If so... wouldn't that make Lunafreya the third Oracle to have some sort of connection to it? ] Grandpa ended up keeping it from hers, and then he kept it hidden until I found it here. After all that time... Grandpa would probably want to really see the person inside the Puzzle.

[ And, it seems like the only way for people to really know Atem is to play him in a game.

Yugi finally looks up at his other self. ]

Luna really didn't like watching our duel. [ He frowns slightly. He wonders if it's just her natural dislike of the game or if there is more to it. ] We haven't been able to spend any time with her since we came home. I know she's busy with everything she has to do with being the Oracle, and her duties in England, but...

[ It just feels like she's put distance between herself and them. She texts now and again, and the pastries and leather notebook upstairs would imply that she wants to spend time with them. Why doesn't she? ]

Maybe Gentiana standing in for us will help bring us all back together.

[ For his part, Atem remains where he is, but he watches Yugi's movements carefully and closely, as though he might miss something important if he looks away for even one second. ]

Yes, I remember you mentioning that to me once. [ Clearly this room and these shelves hold a special meaning to Yugi, and because of that, they're important to Atem as well. If Yugi hadn't been so curious about that solid gold box, and so determined to sneak it out of the room, let alone so determined to solve the Puzzle, they might have never met. And that's a thought that Atem doesn't even want to think about. ]

Well, then, I suppose that it's time that we give him that chance, if you're certain that's what he'd want.

[ Perhaps if he weren't only a spirit residing in a mystical item, they might have more of a chance to meet him in other settings, but there's very little use in wishing for what doesn't seem possible at this time. His connection to the Puzzle can't be dislodged, so yes, in that sense, playing against him in a game or a duel is the only way for others to get to know him. ]

You're right, she didn't. [ There's a part of him that feels some measure of guilt or regret about that, even though he knows she'd tell him not to feel that way if she knew about his feelings. ] I would like to see her. [ He can admit that and be honest about it. ]

But as you said, she is the Oracle, and as such, she must be very busy. I wouldn't want to distract her.

[ At Yugi's words, Atem draws his arms in until they're crossed in front of him. ]

I suppose there's no harm in asking if she'd be willing. [ It may or may not be on purpose that he doesn't comment on the last part of Yugi's sentence. Of course seeing them all come back together is something he wants, but he won't force Luna into it either. ]

Grandpa didn't seem surprised at all when we met Luna for the first time. He already knew you were in the Puzzle--or at least thought something was. He may want to just talk to you, or the both of us, if it's not a game.

[ Of course, Yugi is just guessing based off of what he's observed of his grandpa. He puts up a good face, but, Yugi's learned to see how the older man watches him. It's glances out of the corner of his eye -- waiting to see if its Yugi or Atem he'll be talking to. He wonders if it was like that ever since he solved the Puzzle, or if Battle City really did give light to certain things. He'll ask his grandpa regardless though. There's no reason to hide the fact Atem is with him if everyone already knows.

He smiles just a bit at his other's self admittance. It's been hard for them to talk like this together - let alone getting him to talk about things he might want. Yugi knows its a process, but, he wonders how much he bears the responsibility for it all. Maybe that's something else to talk with Anzu about in the morning. She cares about both of them too.

There's a small sigh as he looks up at the ceiling. Well, at least his other self will admit to somethings now. It feels like there's a wall being put up slowly, even if Yugi isn't the one doing it. ]

I'll ask her tomorrow after I get back from hanging out with Anzu. [ He knows that if he didn't focus on Anzu, Atem would never let him hear the end of it. So, he forces a smile, and lowers his hand from the shelf. ] Which means I'll need to head to bed.

[ He'd mention again that he'd want Atem to look at the notebook when he's asleep if it weren't for how his other self crosses his arms. It seems like it might just be best to put the topic at rest for now. He'll focus on his meeting with Anzu in the morning and go from there.

He does grab the shogi box before leaving the room and heading back upstairs to his room. It sits on the desk next to the notebook, and he's careful not to disturb the sleeping Umbra on the floor at the foot of the bed. The Puzzle hangs on the bed post (as always) and Yugi wishes Atem goodnight--even though he knows the Pharaoh won't be "sleeping." ]

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YGO PSL | ❝ i forget why i stay, and wonder if they'd notice if i slipped away. ❞

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/wraps this up to move onto the next :3