[ He watches Yugi take a seat, noting the exhaustion that seems to be clinging to his partner like a shroud. He moves closer to sit next to him, because what he wants more than anything (aside from wanting to continue this conversation, wherever it may go) is to be beside him so he can continue offering his support, such as it is.
Those early days are becoming a little blurry for Atem, but he still remembers them, even if it isn't in crystal clear detail. He knows that the kindness and forgiveness he's learned from Yugi wasn't even a thought in his mind then; revenge and retribution, however, were. What he can't remember, however hard he tries, is why he was so bent on delivering punishment to people in the first place. Oh, the thought is there, but he can't quite reach out to take hold of it.
A thought arises before he can push it away, and he asks himself yet again if there's even the smallest possibility that he was an evil ruler, or at least, a harsh and unforgiving one. Perhaps that's why he was so quick to deal out judgment to those he apparently deemed deserving of it. The problem with those thoughts is that they only cause more questions to rise up, and he has no answers to those.
Whether or not Yugi's questions matter, Atem's already resolved to answer them as best as he can, in hopes that doing so helps unknot some of the tangles that he thinks are forming in his partner's mind, not to mention his heart. Lunafreya and Yugi were both there when he needed them, and they both helped loosen some of the bonds that were holding him back, preventing him from moving forward. Now, maybe it's his turn to do that for Yugi.
He can't really say with any clarity what he felt when he was inside the Puzzle waiting for it to be solved. All he remembers is walking through endless corridors and climbing staircases that went nowhere. It was a restless, aimless sort of existence, but he knew nothing else until Yugi solved the Puzzle.
What he does know is that he fell into a void of despair and guilt when he and Yugi were separated. If not for the help he received from Lunafreya and Gentiana, and even from Kaiba, he might still be in that void, or he might have even drowned in it, because he believes he lacked the ability to pull himself out on his own.
Whatever Yugi wishes to ask him, he knows he'll do his best to answer, regardless of the toll it takes on him. It's the least he can do for his friend. ]
I believe I did, somehow. I don't think I knew that's what was happening, but-
[ He briefly closes his eyes as if trying to recall those slippery memories and sensations he had during that time. They keep trying to escape him, but he still has flashes of thoughts and feelings that he assumes have something to do with Yugi's attempt to put the Puzzle together. ]
Paths that I was on, or stairs that I was trying to climb- They would just seem to stop, falling away and leaving me with a dead end. Other times, the path would lead to a door, and I could see light behind it, but the door wouldn't open no matter how many times I tried.
[ He pauses there, because he does recall what happened next, and now he realizes that event probably happened the day that Yugi finally completed the Puzzle, even if he didn't know it at the time. ]
all aboard the headcanon train
Those early days are becoming a little blurry for Atem, but he still remembers them, even if it isn't in crystal clear detail. He knows that the kindness and forgiveness he's learned from Yugi wasn't even a thought in his mind then; revenge and retribution, however, were. What he can't remember, however hard he tries, is why he was so bent on delivering punishment to people in the first place. Oh, the thought is there, but he can't quite reach out to take hold of it.
A thought arises before he can push it away, and he asks himself yet again if there's even the smallest possibility that he was an evil ruler, or at least, a harsh and unforgiving one. Perhaps that's why he was so quick to deal out judgment to those he apparently deemed deserving of it. The problem with those thoughts is that they only cause more questions to rise up, and he has no answers to those.
Whether or not Yugi's questions matter, Atem's already resolved to answer them as best as he can, in hopes that doing so helps unknot some of the tangles that he thinks are forming in his partner's mind, not to mention his heart. Lunafreya and Yugi were both there when he needed them, and they both helped loosen some of the bonds that were holding him back, preventing him from moving forward. Now, maybe it's his turn to do that for Yugi.
He can't really say with any clarity what he felt when he was inside the Puzzle waiting for it to be solved. All he remembers is walking through endless corridors and climbing staircases that went nowhere. It was a restless, aimless sort of existence, but he knew nothing else until Yugi solved the Puzzle.
What he does know is that he fell into a void of despair and guilt when he and Yugi were separated. If not for the help he received from Lunafreya and Gentiana, and even from Kaiba, he might still be in that void, or he might have even drowned in it, because he believes he lacked the ability to pull himself out on his own.
Whatever Yugi wishes to ask him, he knows he'll do his best to answer, regardless of the toll it takes on him. It's the least he can do for his friend. ]
I believe I did, somehow. I don't think I knew that's what was happening, but-
[ He briefly closes his eyes as if trying to recall those slippery memories and sensations he had during that time. They keep trying to escape him, but he still has flashes of thoughts and feelings that he assumes have something to do with Yugi's attempt to put the Puzzle together. ]
Paths that I was on, or stairs that I was trying to climb- They would just seem to stop, falling away and leaving me with a dead end. Other times, the path would lead to a door, and I could see light behind it, but the door wouldn't open no matter how many times I tried.
[ He pauses there, because he does recall what happened next, and now he realizes that event probably happened the day that Yugi finally completed the Puzzle, even if he didn't know it at the time. ]