YGO PSL | ❝ if i told you that you're not alone, and i show you this is where you belong. ❞

[inheritedpuzzle]

INSOMNIA REDUX

( continued from here. you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find gifs of yugi and atem together and it's heartbreaking. it's all SHIPPING FANART. )


[ For Yugi, Lunafreya is an intimidating person. Not because she's cruel or throws around her power like the bullies in school did. It's more along the lines of how Atem is intimidating. Both can firmly put their feet on the ground and stand against any storm. He's the one that stands behind them and cheers them on. Is someone like that really worth bothering her when it comes to his wounds? It's a stupid thought, and he knows it, which is why he hasn't voiced it to his other self. ]

I'm pretty sure that if you asked she'd make the time too. You're the one that met her first!

[ He has no problem with it. He just wonders what it was that drove Atem out for a walk that night. ]

Maybe we should both ask her?

[ That makes things less intimidating. For some reason he can stare down gods, Shadow Games, and help fight the darkness in hearts, but this is difficult. He supposes it's because, deep down, he feels as if he should have been able to carry it for Atem. Now he needs to rely on someone else for it. When is he going to be able to do something without needing someone else to catch him? Maybe that's just the kind of person he is and he'll never be able to grow out of it. ]

There has to be somewhere we can start looking...

[ Atem already went to the exhibit with Téa, so that feels like it is off the table. Yugi can't even begin to think of how to get back in touch with the Tomb Keepers. Shadi has disappeared without a trace -- no one has even really heard from Pegasus. He sighs and looks over at the Millennium Puzzle hanging off the side of the headboard.

Because, where else is a teenager going to place his ancient mystical item?

He turns properly to look at the Pharaoh. They've talked so frequently that he doesn't even see him as a ghost. Atem is there and real as he would be in flesh and blood to Yugi. It doesn't matter if they talk like this, or if Yugi is the displaced one, or if it's in one of their soul rooms. There's a frown on his face now and a sigh in his expression. ]

But, you're not really a part of me... are you? [ Maybe it's time to talk about this properly. ] Not like we thought at first. You're someone that had his own life. You ruled over people and armies! You might have even built temples or the pyramids. I want you to stay here with us. That means you get a say in what we do from this point on, Other Me.

[ Because there is this nagging feeling deep down that one day Atem is going to want to leave. Yugi has no idea when it will be, or what will cause it, but it's a sense deep in his heart. One morning, the Pharaoh will just want to return to wherever he was supposed to go instead of being trapped inside the Millennium Puzzle. He's been trying to brace himself and prepare himself for that day and wear a brave face like the Pharaoh does. It's... he just can't.

What he can do is read anything he can find on Ancient Egypt. He'll dig wherever he can to see if it triggers something in the memories of his brother figure. If that fails? Then, he can help him make more new memories. ]

As long as you want to stay here with all of us.

Comments

[ifthereiswill]

[ Yugi isn't wrong in any of his observations. Lunafreya does bring a certain amount of playfulness to her interactions with Atem, and in turn, that playfulness breaks through his own serious demeanor and makes him a little bit lighter as well. When he's around her, he smiles more, even laughs a little more, and it's a feeling he enjoys very much.

Of course, he laughs and smiles around Téa as well, and of course he considers her a very important friend. But he hasn't connected with her the same way that he has with Lunafreya. And it's the fact that he's found someone with whom he can open up to that makes him want to try and help Yugi with Téa. No, of course he won't force anything, but Yugi deserves to find happiness as well, perhaps even more than he does. ]

You have time to figure things out, Yugi. And I have no doubt that you will. You'll learn just what it is that makes you happy and fulfills you, and you'll rise to the occasion.

[ He hopes that Yugi doesn't interpret his words as mere platitudes, simply saying what he thinks he wants to hear. He means every word, and he's completely confident that Yugi will figure out what he wants to do with his life. And even if he just wants to live in the moment and enjoy what he has, there's really nothing wrong with that as far as Atem is concerned. ]

Well, I don't know. [ In a rare moment of hesitation, Atem raises a hand to idly rub the back of his neck while he tries to think about his answer. ] I suppose there is one thing I'd like to do. [ But he's never given voice to it before. ]

But thoughts can change, can't they? Perhaps all Téa needs is to spend more time with you, in a setting with only the two of you. No distractions from anyone else, just you and her together.

[ And then when Yugi says that last part, Atem's expression turns into a frown, because he doesn't like what he's hearing. Has he really done Yugi such a disservice that he thinks he won't open up to him? If that's the case, then he's completely failed at being a good partner and friend to him. ]

Yugi, is that really how you feel? That it's hard for me to open up to you?

[ He hasn't forgotten the discussion about Téa, but what Yugi has just said worries him. ]

[inheritedpuzzle]

[ Yugi, scheming to find a way to have Atem spend some more time with Lunafreya? Yes. He can be a bit underhanded and mischevious when he wants to be. The last time he did it worked out really well, didn't it? Atem found out about the God Cards, and eventually how to retrieve his memories. Something equally as good could come out of him knowing Lunafreya better. ]

I already know what makes me happy. Fulfilled? I don't know. I'm not like you or Luna. I don't have a grand destiny or role to fill. Outside of making sure the Millennium Puzzle is safe.

[ He's fine with that. Really. ]

What's that?

[ Because, he'd rather not talk more about the situation with Téa. He knows how she sees him. So, the best thing he can do is just let it go. It'll take time, but, he figures it'll happen naturally and eventually. He doesn't even really address the comment about him and Téa. ]

At the time. That's not how I feel now. [ He shakes his head. ] We really hadn't figured out how to talk to one another like this at the time. That night when I asked who you were... I think that was the first time we really talked about anything.

[ifthereiswill]

[ Well, he really can't argue with the results of all that. He may not have been pleased by it initially, but it ended up bringing them some leads that they might not have had otherwise. If something similar happens because of him getting to know Lunafreya more, he wouldn't be able to argue about that either. Still, it remains to be seen how things progress between the two of them. ]

I'm sure that's something that will come to you in time. [ He can't really say that he's speaking from experience, because who knows what his experiences really are? But something deep inside him is telling him it's all right to speak with confidence on this subject.

And he can tell that Yugi really has no interest in continuing the conversation about Téa, so for the moment, he decides to leave that alone.

I forgot what I was going to have him say. ]

Sometime when both of us have the time, I think that I would like us to have a duel. [ He knows how that sounds. It would be rather hard for one of them to have the time and the other not, but he knows Yugi will understand his meaning. ]

Not a duel in an arena, or using Kaiba's inventions, and not one with spectators. Just the two of us right here with our own decks and nothing on the line but an interest in-

[ He pauses, because he hasn't really thought about things as being for fun, but that's really what he wants to try. ] An interest in having fun.

[ It's an idea he's not familiar with, but he knows Yugi is, and he hopes that this proposed idea is something that appeals to his partner. ]

oh lookie there, this fits really nicely into future thread *ahem*

[inheritedpuzzle]

[ He looks back down at the Millennium Puzzle. Is his duty as the owner (or keeper) of it the same as something as being Pharaoh or the Oracle? It might not be nearly as important though. The fate of the world or balance of it doesn't depend on him. Instead, it's just making sure that the Pharaoh's soul can find his memories. It's a small act, but, Yugi thinks it's important.

The inner thoughts are interrupted by the suggestion his other self gives. Yugi's head practically snaps up, eyes wide, and a child like light coming to his whole composure. Part of him has always wanted to duel Atem. Not to prove himself or show that he's just as good as him -- but just as a game. It feels like years since he's played Duel Monsters as a game and not some device to save the world.

How would it work? Who else can see Atem -- or him -- in order be a stand in? The logistics are enough to make his head spin. There has to be a way to do it though. It'll be something he figures out as they go forward. Even if it's just a way to figure out how to do it in their soul rooms. ]

I'd love to! [ Even that really doesn't properly put into words how much he'd leap at the chance to do this. ] We should make up our own decks. Or at least, write down what is in them. Just in case we ever get to!

oh would you look at that, it does

[ifthereiswill]

[ Yugi's excitement causes Atem to feel excited in turn; seeing Yugi happy is one thing that can always brighten up even the darkest of Atem's moods. And really, there are very few people who he would want to duel simply for the fun of it. ]

I'm not entirely sure how it would work, but between the two of us, I'm certain we can come up with something.

[ He offers Yugi a wide smile of his own at the suggestion about their decks. ]

That's a good idea, Yugi. If the chance presents itself at any point, at least we'll be ready.

[ He also intends to put some thought into how to turn their respective wish to duel each other into a reality. It'll be a challenge, but he's confident that they'll be able to work something out. ]

at least this thread ends happy DAMMIT

[inheritedpuzzle]

[ Yugi gives a firm and enthusiastic nod. ]

We'll figure it out.

[ This has to happen somehow. It's rare that he sees Atem with a smile like that on his face. Self-assured, ambitious, arrogant, and even embarrassed. However, joy? That's rare. It makes Yugi determined to have his other self smile like that more often.

He's been given a second life. He needs to live it to the fullest. As much as a dislocated spirit can anyways. So, duels with him, or a date with Luna? Yugi is going to find a way to make it happen.

He goes to speak about how he can roll over and go to sleep that way Atem can start working if he wants. He's more than aware that the spirit never sleeps, and, focusing on building a deck might give him something to do other than wander the endless maze of his soul room. Except, then, a beeping echoes in the room. Yugi leans around Atem - despite really not needing to - so he can look at the alarm on the phone.

It's already that early?

Yugi sighs and falls backwards on the bed. School.

Oh, right. He needs to text Luna too. ]

I guess the deck building will need to wait.