· CALL ME OUT (WINTER) ·

[hobbitholmes]

❄️ WINTER

I don't wanna change your mind
But I don't wanna go home tonight
Tell me no or I'm coming over

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[hellblaze]

You're going to save her, John.

He's not so sure about that.

How the hell is he going to get her soul free of Hell? He can't very well swap his for hers; he's already on the one way ticket once he finally does push up the daisies. Oh, the damnation bothers him. He's always been of the mindset he'd be on his way there one way or another. The fact that all the lives he's saved doesn't balance it out? That bit gnaws at him. The fact that he can't do anything to make up for Astra keeps him up at night. There's the bit about it because of his own self, but more because he can't make it up to her.

John bites on the inside of his mouth as he squeezes her wrists ever so slightly. He hasn't really talked about it to anyone. Chas knows details, but he doesn't know the damnation bit. John has made sure that no one does. The only one is the one that confirmed it, and he's buggered off with those wings of his. Manny can stay away for a bit more for all John cares. He'd rather not have the angelic sod sniffing around Zed.

"She's in Hell because of me." He finally manages to say. "And I'm damned right along with her. If I can stop this... fight off this Rising Darkness? Then, maybe... just maybe..."

He clicks his tongue at the idea. It's a pipe dream and even he knows it. He could even usher in the Second Coming, hold open the doors for Him, and John figures he'd still be on that ticket to Hell. There's going to be bartering and straight up blackmail if he has to. Heaven isn't getting out of this deal it's made with him. Manny would say it's not a deal, but, it sounded like a deal to John.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

He slides off the table to stand in front of her again. Hands leave her wrists. The hover between them in a rare moment of hesitation. Then, ever so gently, he rests both hands on either side of her face again. It's almost as if he's afraid he might hurt her by simply touching her.

"For now, let's just focus on saving you, yeah?" His voice drops to just above a whisper.

John stands comfortably in her space as if he always has. Part of him has always wondered just how far those visions of hers went about him. Just glimpses of his life, or was she present in the space they took place in? Have any of those visions changed into rather questionable dreams? Plenty of questions and he's certain she wouldn't answer even if he asked. She's got a habit of doing that. Thumbs brush across her cheekbones gently before he leans in and nudges her nose with his.

Maybe it's him asking that she doesn't go out on the terms of her vision. That selfish boyish part of him making a small plea that she stays by his side and fights for her own fate. Because oh, that feathered fuck is right, and he needs her at his side. She props him up just as much as Chas -- maybe more in different ways if he were actually honest with himself.

A beat. Then, he closes the distance and presses his lips against hers.

[stayinthevision]

Truthfully, Zed doesn't know the how of it either, but she's confident that it'll happen somehow. John has skeletons in his closet and his share of what might be considered sins, but from where she's standing, he's no worse than any of them. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one's perfect. Do they all deserve damnation? Of course not. She might not know that John has a one way ticket to hell, but if she did, she'd fight tooth and nail against the devil himself to get John out of it. Why? Because in her mind, he's more than worth it.

When John admits that Astra's in Hell because of him, and that he's also one of the damned, Zed's mouth drops open. But she's quick to close it again, and she fixes him with a determined look. "It doesn't matter. I know you, and I know you'll move mountains to get her out. And, well, if the devil comes calling, do you really think any of us would just you get dragged off?" She's shaking her head. Chas wouldn't, and she definitely won't. Maybe she can put a bug in Manny's ear, or scream in his ear until he gets off his angelic ass and does something to change this. She won't hesitate to do either of those things if it comes down to it.

But when he says that part about saving her, she just raises her eyebrows and sighs. "Weren't you the one who said there's no escaping your fate?" Yes, she's aware that she's most likely being hypocritical, but the treatment for a tumor can be aggressive, and she's not sure she wants to put herself through that because of the other costs of doing so. If she loses her visions, what good is she? And she's not even sure how the two are linked, just that it seems a logical conclusion that they are.

She's about to ask another question when John puts his hands on her face again, and for just a second, she closes her eyes and smiles. He's gentler than one might think, and she's always liked the feel of his hands on her. That brush of his nose against hers gets her to laugh quietly, and she opens her eyes again to look into his.

Words form on the tip of her tongue, but before she can say anything, John's lips are pressing against hers, and suddenly she forgets all about talking, wanting to drink in this moment as if it'll never happen again. It shouldn't happen again, because John has more important things to do with his time, but she's not going to think about that. She's just going to enjoy it, and hope that it's good for him too.

[hellblaze]

"Matters to quite a few people, luv. You've met what's more or less left of the Newcastle Crew. I'm fairly sure they'd tell you that I deserve it." John's eyebrows perk up slightly. He'll agree right along with them if he's to be truthful. "You can't escape fate but you can muddle bit with destiny and see where it goes."

John will argue that his time is up to him to spend. If he wants to blow it on helping Manny and his plight? He will. If he wants to spend it kissing Zed? He will. No one has ever been able to tell him or dictate to him how to do what he wants. That's what has always infuriated Heaven about him. Hell would of found it endearing if he didn't keep sending their residents back to them. John Constantine somehow manages to piss off everyone in the room by simply standing there, grinning, and letting the cigarette hang from his mouth.

The kiss ends and he presses his forehead to hers gently. A grin sprawls on his face, already mentally patting himself on the back at the idea he's probably been a better kisser than what she's experienced. Although, that thought does make him realize a thing or two.

"Here I thought you wouldn't know the firs thing about kissing, luv. Being of the saintly sort your family is."

[stayinthevision]

"Some of them, maybe. All of them? I don't think so. Sure, none of them said as much, but you don't always need words to say things." Zed tilts her head to one side, a sort of smile crossing her face. Doesn't she know a thing or two about that? She can tell a lot about a person just by making contact with them. There's a reason she's very careful about who she touches and when. "Oh, you mean like we did, our first meeting? Or maybe that was just me." She still believes that meeting John was destiny.

And, well, as to that, she won't argue. In fact, she agrees. John's time is his own, and it's certainly not her place to tell him what to do with it. Still, her more carnal side, the side that enjoys pleasure and pleasurable things, likes having him be this close to her.

He's not wrong to be patting himself on the back; he's a very good kisser, and while Zed doesn't rate her kisses, if she did, she'd rank that one as being way off the charts. Her smirk widens just a fraction at that last comment of his, however.

"You really think I'm that naive?" She huffs out a breath, feigning indignance. "I've kissed before." Has she really, though? She won't be letting on either way; no point in giving him the satisfaction. "My family might call themselves saintly. I don't." And although she doesn't say it in so many words, she's including herself in that.

[hellblaze]

"As I recall, Zed, that was a bit more of you insisting to hang off my arm. Not many people get into the honeymoon suite I'm in without the invitation first. Rather forward for a first meeting, don't you think?"

There's that one simple little thing about Zed: she has some mystical magnetic pull over him. Something that makes it so either he or she just simply end up in the other's space. One is always there to fill the gaps left by the other. In a lot of ways, she feels like she's always been there along side him and Chas. Maybe with those nosy visions of hers she has been.

"I think you don't trust others enough to let them saunter up and kiss you." John corrects gently, his eyebrows raised up just slightly. "Especially being the tactile psychic you are. Even the briefest touch sets you off, luv. Which, given the right circumstance, might be a bit of fun."

They're far from saintly. They are more along the lines of fanatics trying to bring about a world view that doesn't exist. Much like any sort of fanatic of any thought or creed.

He brushes some of the curls away from her cheek. "You couldn't be that saintly if you decided to stick it out with me."

[stayinthevision]

"Insisting? Hanging off your arm?" She chuckles at that. "Was that before or after you broke into my place and made yourself comfortable on my couch? I don't really remember, you know. Details like that have a funny way of running off." She knows full well how it happened, but a tease is a tease. "Maybe that's just how I do business. There isn't always time to get an invitation."

Or she just doesn't make time for that, either way.

"Aren't you preaching to the choir just a bit?" Yes, of course, she was only teasing about that kissing line. "Last time I looked, I was the one who had to deal with whatever happens when someone gets a little too handsy. It's not usually fun for either of us, but I don't know if I need to remind you of that." She's still not quite sure just what John thinks about the accidental glimpse she got into his inner workings that one time, but she's made a point of ensuring it doesn't happen again if she can help it. Next time something like that does occur, it'll be with his permission. Really.

"Are you saying you might want to have a little fun, given the right circumstance?" Never mind that there's a war on, to use his words, with the Rising Darkness and all that.

She offers him just the ghost of a smile in response to his brushing those stray curls away, and she adds: "Whoever the saintliest person on earth is, I wouldn't even be able to stand next to them. Just saying." She shrugs, and she keeps her tone purposefully casual, her words off-hand, but for all of that, she means it too. "Who knows, maybe you just attract a certain crowd."