[ "And what else do you need? What role will I play in all this? How might I be of use to you?"
The questions are all meaningful and layered in his mind. Many things come to mind of what he needs. One stands in particular, yet, another need steps before it in his mind. The need of confirmation that he can trust her. Everything within him trusts her out of their shared childhood and the desire to reestablish that relationship. Now, being duke, he is keenly aware that he truly needs her unwavering loyalty. That she would choose him and his house above any power or placing the Bene Gesserits would give her. The Harkonnens never once cross his mind in that regard. ]
A show of strength would be a way to show it, however, Stil may take my word and that of my mother's. The other Fremen would need it proven to them overtime. Offworlders are not to be trusted as so many of them don't respect the Fremen ways. They don't respect the desert. [ He nods in a way so faintly that it is hard to see if he nodded at all. ] Sometime before we arrived on Arrakis or shortly after we did. Part of me thinks that she became pregnant on purpose to appease the Bene Gesserits... but, maybe, she also thought another child may help settle our family on Arrakis. My mother is a complicated woman.
[ He frowns then. The impassive mask of Maud'dib begins to crack. ] I see my sister in my dreams. She talks to me, telling me that I need to go South to see what I can't.
[ A beat. ] What else do I need.
[ Someone to hold him in place as everything in the Known Universe tries to push him to become the very thing he fears becoming. The being in his dreams and visions. The whispers of what would be born the moment Paul Atreides "dies." The stubbornness of his bloodline flares at the idea of a path being laid before him that he cannot make. The Atreides rise to a call but they still walk a path of their own making.
I don't want to become their messiah--their way forward!
The slightest tremor in his hands begins. His hold on her hands tightens. Almost painfully.
Help me.
A silence stretches on as he wrestles with his own mind to simply speak. The Mentat within him calculates that the move his emotions speak to would be risky. Potentially dangerous. The Bene Gesserit training demands he reign his emotions in and be calm. The Atreides in him tells him to speak from his heart as he has been asked. The battle forms on his face with a thin line of his lips pressed together.
Finally, a voice almost above a whisper: ] The day the Herald of the Change came. I said I had wanted to ask you to walk with me along the beaches one final time. It wasn't simply to walk a good-bye tour to our homeworld. It wasn't a time I had intended to have on asking what you thought of our new destination.
[ Blue-in-blue eyes travel upwards to her deep brown eyes. Eyes that remind him of the wet soil of a world that knew only water. ]
I had every intention of speaking plainly about us. How I had hated the distance it seemed everything in the universe put between us. How I thought you saw me as less once you had been chosen for formal training from the Bene Gesserit... and how I tried everything to excel to prove that such things didn't matter to me. That I hoped they didn't matter to you in return.
[ Paul inhales sharply to control himself--pulling back the water that threatens to leave his eyes. The disappointment of not having been able to express himself, the heartbreak at believing she had been taken from him permanently, the elation that his dreams pointed to her still being alive.
The ducal ring presses against her gloved hands harshly.
A timid smile pulls at the corner of his eyes. A hint at berating himself for speaking what he is about to say. His mother and father had insisted to him time and time again that his hand would need to be open for marriage. ]
I had planned on taking you somewhere special and kneeling down. Asking if you would entertain the idea of staying by my side not as a childhood friend, but an equal partner. As the woman I would court and love openly as my father had my mother. I intended it knowing full well that you would logically say "No."
I thought that at the very least you would know how I felt even though we had grown apart.
no subject
The questions are all meaningful and layered in his mind. Many things come to mind of what he needs. One stands in particular, yet, another need steps before it in his mind. The need of confirmation that he can trust her. Everything within him trusts her out of their shared childhood and the desire to reestablish that relationship. Now, being duke, he is keenly aware that he truly needs her unwavering loyalty. That she would choose him and his house above any power or placing the Bene Gesserits would give her. The Harkonnens never once cross his mind in that regard. ]
A show of strength would be a way to show it, however, Stil may take my word and that of my mother's. The other Fremen would need it proven to them overtime. Offworlders are not to be trusted as so many of them don't respect the Fremen ways. They don't respect the desert. [ He nods in a way so faintly that it is hard to see if he nodded at all. ] Sometime before we arrived on Arrakis or shortly after we did. Part of me thinks that she became pregnant on purpose to appease the Bene Gesserits... but, maybe, she also thought another child may help settle our family on Arrakis. My mother is a complicated woman.
[ He frowns then. The impassive mask of Maud'dib begins to crack. ] I see my sister in my dreams. She talks to me, telling me that I need to go South to see what I can't.
[ A beat. ] What else do I need.
[ Someone to hold him in place as everything in the Known Universe tries to push him to become the very thing he fears becoming. The being in his dreams and visions. The whispers of what would be born the moment Paul Atreides "dies." The stubbornness of his bloodline flares at the idea of a path being laid before him that he cannot make. The Atreides rise to a call but they still walk a path of their own making.
I don't want to become their messiah--their way forward!
The slightest tremor in his hands begins. His hold on her hands tightens. Almost painfully.
Help me.
A silence stretches on as he wrestles with his own mind to simply speak. The Mentat within him calculates that the move his emotions speak to would be risky. Potentially dangerous. The Bene Gesserit training demands he reign his emotions in and be calm. The Atreides in him tells him to speak from his heart as he has been asked. The battle forms on his face with a thin line of his lips pressed together.
Finally, a voice almost above a whisper: ] The day the Herald of the Change came. I said I had wanted to ask you to walk with me along the beaches one final time. It wasn't simply to walk a good-bye tour to our homeworld. It wasn't a time I had intended to have on asking what you thought of our new destination.
[ Blue-in-blue eyes travel upwards to her deep brown eyes. Eyes that remind him of the wet soil of a world that knew only water. ]
I had every intention of speaking plainly about us. How I had hated the distance it seemed everything in the universe put between us. How I thought you saw me as less once you had been chosen for formal training from the Bene Gesserit... and how I tried everything to excel to prove that such things didn't matter to me. That I hoped they didn't matter to you in return.
[ Paul inhales sharply to control himself--pulling back the water that threatens to leave his eyes. The disappointment of not having been able to express himself, the heartbreak at believing she had been taken from him permanently, the elation that his dreams pointed to her still being alive.
The ducal ring presses against her gloved hands harshly.
A timid smile pulls at the corner of his eyes. A hint at berating himself for speaking what he is about to say. His mother and father had insisted to him time and time again that his hand would need to be open for marriage. ]
I had planned on taking you somewhere special and kneeling down. Asking if you would entertain the idea of staying by my side not as a childhood friend, but an equal partner. As the woman I would court and love openly as my father had my mother. I intended it knowing full well that you would logically say "No."
I thought that at the very least you would know how I felt even though we had grown apart.