[ A dry laugh escapes him in a quiet huff as he briefly goes back in his mind to the Writer's Room. He's not remembering anything specific, just remembering sitting there in the almost dark, except for the lamp on the desk. Was he doing all of this for him, or was it for Alice or for the people stuck in the AWE? Maybe it started out as him just trying to get home, but it seemed to morph into more than that. ]

Maybe he would, but should he? A lot can change in thirteen years. Maybe what I should be doing is figuring out how to make new connections. New friendships.

[ Why do I feel like everything from before 2010 is gone? It just feels like everyone moved on without me, because why would anyone wait around? Anyone except for Jesse, I mean. ]

Huh. [ He files that away for later; he doesn't intend to go poking around or poking at anything stored in the Oldest House, even if he's allowed to go near any of it. He probably shouldn't go near any of it, right? Maybe the most he'll do is ask if he can look at the duck, for... some reason. ]

Yeah, maybe that was it. I know it sounds crazy, but I really just wanted to talk to him, to figure out what the hell he was even doing. Maybe if I talked to him, and put it together with what Beth was saying, it would make sense. Maybe it wouldn't make sense at all. I don't know.

[ He shifts his gaze to try and meet hers, because she's right. That's exactly how it would go, between them. ]

I know that if you tried to lock things away, I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't want you holding anything back; so yeah, that would put distance between us. I don't know if I'd push you away, but I might push you away by asking you to not keep things from me. I don't want you to keep the weirdness from me.

[ That made more sense in his head, and so he adds: ] That sounds crazy, but you know what I mean, right?

[ At her next words, something in Alan's face tenses. ] You think I was- You think it was a vision?