[ He wants to give her that; well, he wants to give her everything she wants or needs. But selfishly, he wants to pretend that he's ordinary, like everyone else who hasn't gone through what they have, that he doesn't feel as though something's wrong with him. He can look out the window and see people walking around and going about their lives, and he just feels envious of them. They don't have a lingering darkness inside them, or a fear of losing control and hurting other people.
At least when he's with Jesse, he doesn't feel that sense of envy. He's not normal, and neither is she, but together, they seem to fit together even with all of the things that are not-normal that they bring to the table.
The look he gives her turns into a smile once he spots the hint of pink rising in her face. He loves her, and he'll never stop loving her. ]
That's probably not a good idea, right? If I'm out too late and something happens... [ His words trail off and he reaches out to pinch the side of his wrist. ]
I'd- I'd try it, but I'm more worried about what people might see.
[ There's so much that he wants to venture out and try, in an attempt to feel more like his old self, but there's even more things that scare him and keep him feeling like he's frozen in place. Being intimate with her like they once were is one of those things. He just can't see how he'd react, and he doesn't want her to feel bad if he reacts badly.
But still, there's other ways he can express how much he loves her. Small gestures, but no less meaningful, in his mind. ]
Yeah, I want to. If it's okay. Sorry, you just said that. [ He rolls his eyes at himself as he steps out of the tub and takes hold of a towel. He hesitates, wondering if he should dry her hair or dry her off first, and since both options seem like good places to start, he chooses to start with drying her off, once she's also followed him out of the tub.
He slides behind her and bends at the knees so that he can start toweling off her legs and working his way up from there. Maybe it's not how normal people do it; maybe she dries her hair first. Maybe he's messed up already. Stop that. She'll tell you if this isn't right. Just keep going. ]
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At least when he's with Jesse, he doesn't feel that sense of envy. He's not normal, and neither is she, but together, they seem to fit together even with all of the things that are not-normal that they bring to the table.
The look he gives her turns into a smile once he spots the hint of pink rising in her face. He loves her, and he'll never stop loving her. ]
That's probably not a good idea, right? If I'm out too late and something happens... [ His words trail off and he reaches out to pinch the side of his wrist. ]
I'd- I'd try it, but I'm more worried about what people might see.
[ There's so much that he wants to venture out and try, in an attempt to feel more like his old self, but there's even more things that scare him and keep him feeling like he's frozen in place. Being intimate with her like they once were is one of those things. He just can't see how he'd react, and he doesn't want her to feel bad if he reacts badly.
But still, there's other ways he can express how much he loves her. Small gestures, but no less meaningful, in his mind. ]
Yeah, I want to. If it's okay. Sorry, you just said that. [ He rolls his eyes at himself as he steps out of the tub and takes hold of a towel. He hesitates, wondering if he should dry her hair or dry her off first, and since both options seem like good places to start, he chooses to start with drying her off, once she's also followed him out of the tub.
He slides behind her and bends at the knees so that he can start toweling off her legs and working his way up from there. Maybe it's not how normal people do it; maybe she dries her hair first. Maybe he's messed up already. Stop that. She'll tell you if this isn't right. Just keep going. ]