[ It's still all too easy for him to feel like eyes are constantly on him, boring into his back, staring at him when his attention is elsewhere. In his mind, it's not always Jesse doing the watching. There's an owl on the wall that's always there. Always looking. Always staring. The thought of it makes his skin crawl. But sometimes his mind takes him back there in his sleep. He sees those same walls, the same floorboards, and always that same old owl always watching him.
Did I ever tell her about that? How there was always that feeling that I was being watched? I don't remember.
He's holding his breath without realizing that's what he's doing; he's waiting to see what the feel of water on his back is going to do. How will he react? It seems that even he can't know until it happens.
The curtain closes, and he hears the sound that it makes, the way the fabric skids against the tub as it's drawn to a close. He notices sounds a lot more than he used to; even the smallest, most inconsequential sound somehow manages to catch his ear. Is it because he's too used to the silence of an empty room? Things do sound louder in the silence.
Jesse's fingertips lightly touch his back, and he realizes that she was able to touch him without causing him to jump. Maybe it's the lightness of the touch, or maybe he'll finally be able to stop jumping at every touch he's not expecting. Her palms eventually rest against him entirely, and his shoulders lower in a pleased sort of response. ]
Yeah. Yeah, it's- It's as good as it's going to be. And for me, that's really good.
[ He's not freaking out; he's not hyperfocusing on each drop of water. He's not going to pieces about too much water and drowning and- Those thoughts get stopped in their tracks. He doesn't want to let them get into his mind any more than they already are. ]
Yeah, this is okay. [ He looks over at her with a smile to further indicate that he's surprisingly doing all right with this. ]
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Did I ever tell her about that? How there was always that feeling that I was being watched? I don't remember.
He's holding his breath without realizing that's what he's doing; he's waiting to see what the feel of water on his back is going to do. How will he react? It seems that even he can't know until it happens.
The curtain closes, and he hears the sound that it makes, the way the fabric skids against the tub as it's drawn to a close. He notices sounds a lot more than he used to; even the smallest, most inconsequential sound somehow manages to catch his ear. Is it because he's too used to the silence of an empty room? Things do sound louder in the silence.
Jesse's fingertips lightly touch his back, and he realizes that she was able to touch him without causing him to jump. Maybe it's the lightness of the touch, or maybe he'll finally be able to stop jumping at every touch he's not expecting. Her palms eventually rest against him entirely, and his shoulders lower in a pleased sort of response. ]
Yeah. Yeah, it's- It's as good as it's going to be. And for me, that's really good.
[ He's not freaking out; he's not hyperfocusing on each drop of water. He's not going to pieces about too much water and drowning and- Those thoughts get stopped in their tracks. He doesn't want to let them get into his mind any more than they already are. ]
Yeah, this is okay. [ He looks over at her with a smile to further indicate that he's surprisingly doing all right with this. ]