[ Alan's expression turns thoughtful; well, thoughtful isn't the right word. Conflicted, torn, uncertain of literally everything... how can he put his life back together when he doesn't know if he can call this "his" life? Maybe the person called Alan Wake died in the Dark Place, and the version of Alan Wake that's still here is a different person entirely.
Am I the person she fell in love with? Can she love me when I'm like this?
Maybe he still is Alan Wake beneath all the terror and the panic and the doubts about his ability to even live in this world again, but he can't shake the feeling that Jesse didn't sign up for this. She didn't sign on the dotted line agreeing to take care of a damaged man for the rest of her life.
She didn't sign anything, but here we are. Is she staying with me because this is where she wants to be? I know Jesse, and I know she doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do. She wouldn't stay just because it's the expectation. She's staying because she wants to. I think.
The blanket that Jesse pulled over settles over both of them, and Alan shifts slightly. ]
Now's as good a time as any, right? Let me give you a shoulder rub too. [ He says that first, to buy himself some time to figure out an answer. He already knows his answer, but he wanted to put proper thought into it before he just blurted it out. ]
Yes. Yes, this is where I want to be. [ He feels words boiling up to the surface, and he knows he has to say them all. ] I always- well, since I met you... I wanted to be with you. I wanted to come home with you. I want to be with you, to live with you, to be in your life.
I just- It's going to take me time to figure out what the hell my life even is. What it's going to look like. Maybe- maybe you don't want to stick around while I figure that out, because I can't even say that it'll be easy.
[ He knows there will be rough days, and he might hurt her feelings, and he knows full well he's already done too much of that. ]
But- when you're here, knowing that you're here even if you're at work... it makes me want to keep trying. To keep trying to figure out who I am.
[ It takes a second, but he slowly shifts on the bed, not moving too much so as to dislodge her from how she's pressed against him. ]
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Am I the person she fell in love with? Can she love me when I'm like this?
Maybe he still is Alan Wake beneath all the terror and the panic and the doubts about his ability to even live in this world again, but he can't shake the feeling that Jesse didn't sign up for this. She didn't sign on the dotted line agreeing to take care of a damaged man for the rest of her life.
She didn't sign anything, but here we are. Is she staying with me because this is where she wants to be? I know Jesse, and I know she doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do. She wouldn't stay just because it's the expectation. She's staying because she wants to. I think.
The blanket that Jesse pulled over settles over both of them, and Alan shifts slightly. ]
Now's as good a time as any, right? Let me give you a shoulder rub too. [ He says that first, to buy himself some time to figure out an answer. He already knows his answer, but he wanted to put proper thought into it before he just blurted it out. ]
Yes. Yes, this is where I want to be. [ He feels words boiling up to the surface, and he knows he has to say them all. ] I always- well, since I met you... I wanted to be with you. I wanted to come home with you. I want to be with you, to live with you, to be in your life.
I just- It's going to take me time to figure out what the hell my life even is. What it's going to look like. Maybe- maybe you don't want to stick around while I figure that out, because I can't even say that it'll be easy.
[ He knows there will be rough days, and he might hurt her feelings, and he knows full well he's already done too much of that. ]
But- when you're here, knowing that you're here even if you're at work... it makes me want to keep trying. To keep trying to figure out who I am.
[ It takes a second, but he slowly shifts on the bed, not moving too much so as to dislodge her from how she's pressed against him. ]
I can't imagine being anywhere else.