[ There's a part of Alan that doesn't like his own tendency to devolve into darker thoughts, or at least, moodier ones. The grumpiness came from stress at not being able to write, but maybe it was always there. He never really did like having the press in his face all the time, and although he hasn't spent a lot of time thinking about it, he knows he definitely doesn't want to go back to being hounded by the press if and when he returns to their reality. It's probably unavoidable, because he knows they'll want to ask him about what happened, about his disappearance. It's enough to make him want to hide inside Jesse's apartment or wherever he can hole up for a little while.
But what has changed about him is his willingness to accept that the paranatural exists. Other realities exist, and there's no more pretending that they don't. He's not really sure how to approach living life with that knowledge, but it's something he'll figure out as he goes. ]
I want that too. I want to give that to you, to keep my promise. I-
[ He opens his mouth to say something more, but the words stop before he can say them. He's just felt that brush against his mind, and he knows it just as well as he's beginning to know how Polaris feels. He's familiar with how Jesse feels, and he's reaching that level of familiarity with Polaris too. But this touch is one he knows equally as well.
Alice.
Maybe the truth of the matter is that he has three people- well, two people and one otherworldly being helping him in their own way. Polaris's assistance might only be because of Jesse, or because he's the Champion of Light, but he counts it as assistance regardless, and at the end of the day, he's grateful for the guidance from each of them.
He's missed her, and he'd repeat it like a mantra if he thought she needed to hear it. But the fact of the matter is that they both missed the other and both of them know it. It doesn't need to be said. It's communicated in the way they kiss each other, in how he responds to her touches and to being held. If all he feels is her, and the same is true for her feeling him, well, that's all Alan really wants.
When her fingers twine into his hair, for a moment, a memory surfaces: the memory of pacing frantically around the Writer's Room, hands pulling at his own hair as he spiraled further into panic and closer to a breakdown.
That isn't how this feels. This feels safe and comforting, two things Alan hasn't felt in a very long time. It might be that this is a strange place to feel safe in, but he can't pretend that he doesn't. He feels safe around Jesse, and he hopes she feels the same when she is around him.
He brushes his lips lightly against hers, and pulling back just slightly, he brushes the tip of his nose against her nose in what might seem like a silly gesture, but there's nothing but love behind it. He loves her, and he hopes that she knows it. ]
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But what has changed about him is his willingness to accept that the paranatural exists. Other realities exist, and there's no more pretending that they don't. He's not really sure how to approach living life with that knowledge, but it's something he'll figure out as he goes. ]
I want that too. I want to give that to you, to keep my promise. I-
[ He opens his mouth to say something more, but the words stop before he can say them. He's just felt that brush against his mind, and he knows it just as well as he's beginning to know how Polaris feels. He's familiar with how Jesse feels, and he's reaching that level of familiarity with Polaris too. But this touch is one he knows equally as well.
Alice.
Maybe the truth of the matter is that he has three people- well, two people and one otherworldly being helping him in their own way. Polaris's assistance might only be because of Jesse, or because he's the Champion of Light, but he counts it as assistance regardless, and at the end of the day, he's grateful for the guidance from each of them.
He's missed her, and he'd repeat it like a mantra if he thought she needed to hear it. But the fact of the matter is that they both missed the other and both of them know it. It doesn't need to be said. It's communicated in the way they kiss each other, in how he responds to her touches and to being held. If all he feels is her, and the same is true for her feeling him, well, that's all Alan really wants.
When her fingers twine into his hair, for a moment, a memory surfaces: the memory of pacing frantically around the Writer's Room, hands pulling at his own hair as he spiraled further into panic and closer to a breakdown.
That isn't how this feels. This feels safe and comforting, two things Alan hasn't felt in a very long time. It might be that this is a strange place to feel safe in, but he can't pretend that he doesn't. He feels safe around Jesse, and he hopes she feels the same when she is around him.
He brushes his lips lightly against hers, and pulling back just slightly, he brushes the tip of his nose against her nose in what might seem like a silly gesture, but there's nothing but love behind it. He loves her, and he hopes that she knows it. ]