[ The Oceanview Motel is starting to feel unwelcoming.
Or, maybe she's starting to resent it.
The Motel had always been a nice place to retreat for a few hours to get away from things. Trench said something similar over the Hotline once, and that is honestly what gave her the idea to start with. Not that she's ever felt truly trapped by her job as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control. No, instead, it has always felt liberating in a way.
And, besides, it's not even the Motel she's starting to resent.
It's "Return."
She's stood standing in front of the television in one of the rooms for... god, who really knows how long. Time doesn't flow the way it should in the Motel in between the loops. Not that it really matters anyways. Her eyes have been blankly staring at the screen that turned off some time ago. The words and thoughts keep going over and over in her mind, even if she's used other doors to leave and come back to the Motel. She's crossed paths with another Alan Wake since the message, but she inevitably keeps coming back to Room 226. ]
『 Hi, Jesse. I don't really know you, and you most certainly don't know me. But, none of that matters, because this is when things all start to end. 』
Alice Wake smiled at her in the message. Or, at least, what Jesse could only assume was a message. It was different from other messages she'd received. Not over the Hotline, but more like the time she had seen Alan in the Writer's Room. Except the room Alice looked to be in was a fancy high rise apartment in New York City. The lights were off besides one lamp behind her. She was pale, her blonde hair pulled back, but it looked oddly thinned.
『 I've been trying to get a hold of you for a long time now. Things... shift, in the Dark Place. You could be in the right place for me to contact, but then Alan would move, and you would move after him. Not that you are in the Dark Place. It's just... 』 Alice paused. 『 I think we both know how much of a gravitational force Alan can be. Positive or negative, he draws you in and you can't let go. It makes for the best times and the worst times. The highs are high, and the lows are low, but that just is part of being with an artist of any kind. It's probably something you're not used to. 』
Her lips pressed together and her hands folded in front of her. Fingers gently moved the ring on her finger. Jesse felt a stab of guilt then, almost like being caught in some love affair. But, Alice never seemed to be upset in the message. Contemplative, rather.
『 I owe you an apology to start with. Alan dragged you into this by the connection I had to your people. They took me in after what happened in Bright Falls... and I went back to them when the hauntings began. Scratch coming to the apartment every night. Except, at this point, you and I know Scratch isn't just the Dark Presence. Part of it is Alan. All the worst parts of him. That's what the Dark Presence does: it pulls the worst out of a person and consumes them with it. And, it's my fault he's there. He stayed there so I could get out. I swam to the surface and he sank down into the depths.
Originally, all you were supposed to do was take care of Hartman. That's the role that Alan gave you. Someone who could receive his messages and take care of a loose end for him. Someone who had a piece of the Dark Presence in him and it could of been catastrophic if he continued it. Maybe he thought he could use that further to get out. I'm not sure. 』 Alice paused and let her shoulders sag. 『 He wouldn't know this, but I was the one that left the idea to use you in "Return." Bring back the hero that he used once to help him get to where he needs to be in order to escape. Someone that's like him. Not an artist, no, but someone with an extraordinary ability I could never understand. There had always been a part of him I couldn't reach. Some part that I could never understand. This was it. If he could learn from you, and your guiding star, then maybe he could find a way to the surface from his spiral. Both of us helping him in the ways we could.
I didn't think it would go like it did between you two. But, I'm glad it worked out the way it did. It gives him more of a reason to keep going--something to come home to. As I won't be there for him anymore. 』 Alice Wake smiled sadly then. Eyes flicked down in guilt, but, she shook her head.
『 That's another reason I need to apologize to you, Jesse. Alan thought you would be the hero to pull him out of the Dark Place. Physically, if needed. But... you aren't. That's not your role in the story. Only Alan can save himself by working through everything that the Dark Presence is using to keep him in the Dark. He doesn't need a hero--he has to be his own. What he needs most of all is someone to guide him. Show him the path and illuminate it until he can see where it goes on his own. I know, that's a poetic way of putting it, but I'm sure your guiding star knows what I mean.
What I need you to do, for me, is not to give up. Don't stop loving Alan, even if it feels like he's going to break your heart. "Return" will be over and he'll find his way back from the night. I'll make sure of it. Just keep the lights on so he knows the way to the lighthouse to come home.
This is the final time around, Jesse. I promise. 』
Jesse's gaze drifts away to the side from the television once more. She feels the message is almost burned into her mind. Maybe something deeper than that, but Jesse has never been artistic or poetic in analogies. She doesn't want to start being that way either. This, whatever it is that hurts in her, is painful enough. Realizing she has no control in the situation. Nothing she can do will change the outcome of the story because the ending has already been written. They just need to play the steps out to make sure it happens.
« That's all we're here to do. Make sure it follows the path it needs to be on. No interfering. No trying to changing the story. Get Alan and Saga where they to go so they can stop all this. Shit. I wish she would of told me from the start. »
Her eyes gaze lifts as she feels Polaris give a tug at her mind. A gentle brush, as if her best friend understands the pain she's in. Jesse refuses to name the emotion rampaging through her. The moment she does? She'll break and she isn't sure if she could do what she's supposed to do.
« It makes sense. Of course it does. The Director of the Federal Bureau of Control stops AWEs. Just, here to do the job in the end. The rest doesn't matter to the Bureau agents, the people in Bright Falls and Watery, Saga and her daughter, Casey, Breaker. In the end, that's even what Alan needs us to be. The Director and Polaris. »
Jesse comes to a stop and realizes she had been moving down the darkened hall of the Motel once again. Her gaze lifts to the Spiral door beside her. She inhales sharply, fingers curling into fists at her sides. Polaris brushes against her mind once more. Lips press together and she gently shakes her head side to side.
« No. I don't want to try again. It doesn't WORK anymore. How many times have we tried? YOU tried, Polaris. We can't reach him. I don't--I don't know why. If anyone picks up it's that other Alan. Not the one we know. I... I don't want to try and not get an answer again. » ]
— initation 9: gone.
Or, maybe she's starting to resent it.
The Motel had always been a nice place to retreat for a few hours to get away from things. Trench said something similar over the Hotline once, and that is honestly what gave her the idea to start with. Not that she's ever felt truly trapped by her job as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control. No, instead, it has always felt liberating in a way.
And, besides, it's not even the Motel she's starting to resent.
It's "Return."
She's stood standing in front of the television in one of the rooms for... god, who really knows how long. Time doesn't flow the way it should in the Motel in between the loops. Not that it really matters anyways. Her eyes have been blankly staring at the screen that turned off some time ago. The words and thoughts keep going over and over in her mind, even if she's used other doors to leave and come back to the Motel. She's crossed paths with another Alan Wake since the message, but she inevitably keeps coming back to Room 226. ]
Jesse's gaze drifts away to the side from the television once more. She feels the message is almost burned into her mind. Maybe something deeper than that, but Jesse has never been artistic or poetic in analogies. She doesn't want to start being that way either. This, whatever it is that hurts in her, is painful enough. Realizing she has no control in the situation. Nothing she can do will change the outcome of the story because the ending has already been written. They just need to play the steps out to make sure it happens.
« That's all we're here to do. Make sure it follows the path it needs to be on. No interfering. No trying to changing the story. Get Alan and Saga where they to go so they can stop all this. Shit. I wish she would of told me from the start. »
Her eyes gaze lifts as she feels Polaris give a tug at her mind. A gentle brush, as if her best friend understands the pain she's in. Jesse refuses to name the emotion rampaging through her. The moment she does? She'll break and she isn't sure if she could do what she's supposed to do.
« It makes sense. Of course it does. The Director of the Federal Bureau of Control stops AWEs. Just, here to do the job in the end. The rest doesn't matter to the Bureau agents, the people in Bright Falls and Watery, Saga and her daughter, Casey, Breaker. In the end, that's even what Alan needs us to be. The Director and Polaris. »
Jesse comes to a stop and realizes she had been moving down the darkened hall of the Motel once again. Her gaze lifts to the Spiral door beside her. She inhales sharply, fingers curling into fists at her sides. Polaris brushes against her mind once more. Lips press together and she gently shakes her head side to side.
« No. I don't want to try again. It doesn't WORK anymore. How many times have we tried? YOU tried, Polaris. We can't reach him. I don't--I don't know why. If anyone picks up it's that other Alan. Not the one we know. I... I don't want to try and not get an answer again. » ]