[ Jesse's quiet for a long moment at his question. ] No. Not... not with how Polaris and I are now. Even if I'm no longer the Director? They'll probably just attract to me because of Polaris.
[ She looks to the side with a frown on her face. Her hands curl into sides. ] I get it if that's a deal breaker. You probably want nothing to do after all this once we finish this loop. That's fine.
[ She knows they've had the conversation before. She knows what his answer was before, but, she can't help but worry he will grow tired, annoyed, and resentful of the world they've been forced to admit exists. Letting him know she understands if he wants to leave it all behind is something she feels she has to do.
« Even if being left alone in this world is the last thing I want. »
Jesse becomes aware that she can't move one of her hands as she thought she could. Her eyes dart down to see that Alan is holding said hand and has fallen asleep beside her. She instantly stills.
He insists that she rest and recover. He puts himself after that. She wonders if that's because he believes everything that happens is something he deserves... or if he always put others first. If he did that, then why was it when he hit thr writer's block that he fell to pieces? Alan may day that Jesse is a complicated puzzle, but, she feels he is just as complicated.
If not more so.
She notes the gash on his head has been tended to--glued shut by Samuels. Her own injury gives a dull ache and her body still feels heavy while she feels unstable.
« Come on. I need to push through this. I can't be down and out. There's too much at stake. Once we finish up this AWE? Then, I'll stop. Because he'll be home and we can rest. »
Jesse turns and gently leans against him. Her whole weight isn't in the motion so he can hopefully stay asleep. She takes a moment to properly take him in. A small smile touches her face that she can't help. She loves him. Maybe too much.
« What happens if I have to choose between him or the Buearu? Is it ever going to come to that? God, I hope not. I can't... I can't leave him behind. Or them. Anyone. »
She frowns then.
« Why can't I shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen? It feels like the last loop. So, why... why does it feel this way? » ]
no subject
[ She looks to the side with a frown on her face. Her hands curl into sides. ] I get it if that's a deal breaker. You probably want nothing to do after all this once we finish this loop. That's fine.
[ She knows they've had the conversation before. She knows what his answer was before, but, she can't help but worry he will grow tired, annoyed, and resentful of the world they've been forced to admit exists. Letting him know she understands if he wants to leave it all behind is something she feels she has to do.
« Even if being left alone in this world is the last thing I want. »
Jesse becomes aware that she can't move one of her hands as she thought she could. Her eyes dart down to see that Alan is holding said hand and has fallen asleep beside her. She instantly stills.
He insists that she rest and recover. He puts himself after that. She wonders if that's because he believes everything that happens is something he deserves... or if he always put others first. If he did that, then why was it when he hit thr writer's block that he fell to pieces? Alan may day that Jesse is a complicated puzzle, but, she feels he is just as complicated.
If not more so.
She notes the gash on his head has been tended to--glued shut by Samuels. Her own injury gives a dull ache and her body still feels heavy while she feels unstable.
« Come on. I need to push through this. I can't be down and out. There's too much at stake. Once we finish up this AWE? Then, I'll stop. Because he'll be home and we can rest. »
Jesse turns and gently leans against him. Her whole weight isn't in the motion so he can hopefully stay asleep. She takes a moment to properly take him in. A small smile touches her face that she can't help. She loves him. Maybe too much.
« What happens if I have to choose between him or the Buearu? Is it ever going to come to that? God, I hope not. I can't... I can't leave him behind. Or them. Anyone. »
She frowns then.
« Why can't I shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen? It feels like the last loop. So, why... why does it feel this way? » ]