[ Alan just stares at her then, gray eyes fixed on her green ones. Is it him looking at her or is it the darkness inside him? Even he doesn't know. Sometimes he can tell when his grip is slipping. To him, the darkness feels like a cold hand at his back sometimes. Other times, he can feel a scalding hot breath on the back of his neck. Is it the devil himself coming to call? Maybe. Either way, it's a feeling that makes Alan recoil in horror. ]
That's not the right question. It's not me asking how I'm supposed to believe you. It's you asking how you're supposed to believe me. An unreliable narrator. [ An unreliable everything.
Alan slides back from her just a pace. He doesn't go too far, only a fraction. But suddenly he's frustrated and suddenly angry; not with her, but with the story that's continuing to screw with him and laugh about it. ]
It's not you. It's- it's everything. The darkness. The Dark Place. I hope some of this helps, but I don't expect it to.
[ He draws a breath then, a shaky one, and then he continues. ]
You think I'm not going in blind? You think I haven't been blocked, turned around, thrown back to the start? We both have been, haven't we? I don't know how many times. I don't know how to beat it. How am I supposed to remember something that's being dangled in front of me but I can't ever reach it? I- I have an idea, but it's just that: an idea. Will I remember it for longer than a second? Who the hell knows.
[ Alan quiets then, having said all of that in a rush of breath. He's still not angry; in fact, saying that was cathartic in a way. It was all thoughts he'd kept inside, and now they're outside for Jesse to react to however she will.
But he isn't quiet for long, as Jesse begins sharing what she knows about the mysterious Door. ]
Door. Yeah, that was it. Mr. Door. It's funny in a not funny way, because he kept talking about doors. He wasn't in a funny mood, and I wasn't laughing. He was angry, and he threatened me. I think if I keep going, he's going to become a problem, or I'm going to become a problem for him if I'm not already. Maybe he'll even become an enemy. I don't want to know what he's going to do. The... the Dark Presence doesn't want to kill me, because then it can't use me. Would he kill me? I don't want to find out.
[ Why are there always new problems? New things working against me. Isn't it already hard enough? ]
Oceanview. The Motel? The Hotel? I don't know which one is which. Thomas Zane. The... the filmmaker? The poet? [ He sounds almost feverish as he tries to chase down the memories as they run away from him. He might not remember it himself, but he might even sound much like he did in that meeting with Zane. ] If I knew anything about this, I must have forgotten it.
[ He flinches a bit when she presses her finger into his shoulder, not expecting the touch. He regrets it as soon as the action happens, but there's no calling it back now. ] Drowning. I'm drowning. I died- No, not again. Not that again. [ The words escape him and he glowers in frustration because of how easily things just slip out of him when he doesn't want them to. ] I- I thought it was what I needed to do. It was a stupid idea. I'd go back and change it if I could. Or would I? Never mind, it doesn't matter now.
[ If she feels they're coming closer to the end, it's more than what Alan feels. He can't see anything more than a long tunnel with no light at the end of it, so maybe Jesse will have to believe in it enough for the both of them.
Steve heads out of the room again, and Alan watches him go before turning back to look at Jesse. He doesn't have time to do or say anything before her lips are on his in a deep, passionate kiss. His hesitation time is almost zero, and he's returning the kiss with a hunger he didn't know he had and absolutely no intention of breaking the kiss anytime soon. ]
no subject
That's not the right question. It's not me asking how I'm supposed to believe you. It's you asking how you're supposed to believe me. An unreliable narrator. [ An unreliable everything.
Alan slides back from her just a pace. He doesn't go too far, only a fraction. But suddenly he's frustrated and suddenly angry; not with her, but with the story that's continuing to screw with him and laugh about it. ]
It's not you. It's- it's everything. The darkness. The Dark Place. I hope some of this helps, but I don't expect it to.
[ He draws a breath then, a shaky one, and then he continues. ]
You think I'm not going in blind? You think I haven't been blocked, turned around, thrown back to the start? We both have been, haven't we? I don't know how many times. I don't know how to beat it. How am I supposed to remember something that's being dangled in front of me but I can't ever reach it? I- I have an idea, but it's just that: an idea. Will I remember it for longer than a second? Who the hell knows.
[ Alan quiets then, having said all of that in a rush of breath. He's still not angry; in fact, saying that was cathartic in a way. It was all thoughts he'd kept inside, and now they're outside for Jesse to react to however she will.
But he isn't quiet for long, as Jesse begins sharing what she knows about the mysterious Door. ]
Door. Yeah, that was it. Mr. Door. It's funny in a not funny way, because he kept talking about doors. He wasn't in a funny mood, and I wasn't laughing. He was angry, and he threatened me. I think if I keep going, he's going to become a problem, or I'm going to become a problem for him if I'm not already. Maybe he'll even become an enemy. I don't want to know what he's going to do. The... the Dark Presence doesn't want to kill me, because then it can't use me. Would he kill me? I don't want to find out.
[ Why are there always new problems? New things working against me. Isn't it already hard enough? ]
Oceanview. The Motel? The Hotel? I don't know which one is which. Thomas Zane. The... the filmmaker? The poet? [ He sounds almost feverish as he tries to chase down the memories as they run away from him. He might not remember it himself, but he might even sound much like he did in that meeting with Zane. ] If I knew anything about this, I must have forgotten it.
[ He flinches a bit when she presses her finger into his shoulder, not expecting the touch. He regrets it as soon as the action happens, but there's no calling it back now. ] Drowning. I'm drowning. I died- No, not again. Not that again. [ The words escape him and he glowers in frustration because of how easily things just slip out of him when he doesn't want them to. ] I- I thought it was what I needed to do. It was a stupid idea. I'd go back and change it if I could. Or would I? Never mind, it doesn't matter now.
[ If she feels they're coming closer to the end, it's more than what Alan feels. He can't see anything more than a long tunnel with no light at the end of it, so maybe Jesse will have to believe in it enough for the both of them.
Steve heads out of the room again, and Alan watches him go before turning back to look at Jesse. He doesn't have time to do or say anything before her lips are on his in a deep, passionate kiss. His hesitation time is almost zero, and he's returning the kiss with a hunger he didn't know he had and absolutely no intention of breaking the kiss anytime soon. ]