[ The story is still nudging Alan along even though the light switch is still flipped. The light is still very much alive and flooding through Alan's mind; it's not a greedy thing like the Dark Presence. It's inside Alan's mind, but he's still himself, not washed out or swept away. But even then, the story needs Alan to be a certain way, to do certain things, and so it continues to poke and prod at him, and he doesn't resist.
Maybe it's the knowledge that he's written in what he can. Changed what he can. Tried to steer the stories in ways that subtly help him and people like Jesse and Saga. Maybe that's all he can do. Maybe by giving the right ammunition to the right people, the story will eventually play out in a way that sets them all free. Or maybe it doesn't, at least not all of them. Maybe the price is that the right people are freed, but Alan still has consequences that linger even after the story ends.
Maybe the win they're all hoping for is a bittersweet one at best. ]
Your Alan... Am I? I mean- I like how that sounds. Being yours. Being someone's. I know I was someone's once, but... it would be nice to be someone's again.
[ Of course, the Dark Presence hates that and rejects the notion. The menacing, yelling gray face flares up in Alan's mind again, only to be thoroughly pushed out by the light still resonating there. The brightness seems to be dimming, slowly and subtly, but it's still there for now.
The story is still trying to keep Alan carved out; pressed down, not rising to the surface. Drowning.
She'll fight to keep things on her terms. Maybe she'll find a way to get herself out of this. That's good.
Alan doesn't answer, because that feeling of having run out of words has been growing in the back of his mind, and it grows louder now. The spark is still there, and it's still illuminating the spaces inside his mind, but that feeling of resignation is still holding onto him. Maybe he can't help himself, or support himself, but he can still do one thing: be there for her.
It's a contradiction, but maybe he's always been a man of contradictions. He can't be strong for himself anymore, but he can still summon the will to support her like she needs him to. Maybe that's his role now. To not be the hero, but to be one of the people supporting the hero, and then fading into the background when he's not needed.
Or maybe that's just what the story wants him to think. He just can't tell the difference anymore.
Either way, he pulls himself away from thoughts of the impossible story, of the enemies he has to fight, and he simply leans in closer, arms moving to wrap themselves around her and draw her in. If he can't be strong for himself, then he can be that for her. Her pillar. His hands move again, this time coming to rest against her shoulders that are shaking. She doesn't need to rein in her reactions, but he does want her to know that he's there. ]
Maybe we'll have that... time together that's not in a loop. [ Or maybe we won't. I can't see how this is going to end. ] But- at least for right now, I'm right here.
[ His hand moves again, and this time, it comes to a stop against the back of her head, his fingers moving to lightly stroke the red hair there, hoping it gives her the support she seems to need.
The Dark Presence seems to pop back up then, sounding like an angry hum, but Alan tries to squash that down. It's not the time for it to show up. Not that there ever is a good time for it. ]
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Maybe it's the knowledge that he's written in what he can. Changed what he can. Tried to steer the stories in ways that subtly help him and people like Jesse and Saga. Maybe that's all he can do. Maybe by giving the right ammunition to the right people, the story will eventually play out in a way that sets them all free. Or maybe it doesn't, at least not all of them. Maybe the price is that the right people are freed, but Alan still has consequences that linger even after the story ends.
Maybe the win they're all hoping for is a bittersweet one at best. ]
Your Alan... Am I? I mean- I like how that sounds. Being yours. Being someone's. I know I was someone's once, but... it would be nice to be someone's again.
[ Of course, the Dark Presence hates that and rejects the notion. The menacing, yelling gray face flares up in Alan's mind again, only to be thoroughly pushed out by the light still resonating there. The brightness seems to be dimming, slowly and subtly, but it's still there for now.
The story is still trying to keep Alan carved out; pressed down, not rising to the surface. Drowning.
She'll fight to keep things on her terms. Maybe she'll find a way to get herself out of this. That's good.
Alan doesn't answer, because that feeling of having run out of words has been growing in the back of his mind, and it grows louder now. The spark is still there, and it's still illuminating the spaces inside his mind, but that feeling of resignation is still holding onto him. Maybe he can't help himself, or support himself, but he can still do one thing: be there for her.
It's a contradiction, but maybe he's always been a man of contradictions. He can't be strong for himself anymore, but he can still summon the will to support her like she needs him to. Maybe that's his role now. To not be the hero, but to be one of the people supporting the hero, and then fading into the background when he's not needed.
Or maybe that's just what the story wants him to think. He just can't tell the difference anymore.
Either way, he pulls himself away from thoughts of the impossible story, of the enemies he has to fight, and he simply leans in closer, arms moving to wrap themselves around her and draw her in. If he can't be strong for himself, then he can be that for her. Her pillar. His hands move again, this time coming to rest against her shoulders that are shaking. She doesn't need to rein in her reactions, but he does want her to know that he's there. ]
Maybe we'll have that... time together that's not in a loop. [ Or maybe we won't. I can't see how this is going to end. ] But- at least for right now, I'm right here.
[ His hand moves again, and this time, it comes to a stop against the back of her head, his fingers moving to lightly stroke the red hair there, hoping it gives her the support she seems to need.
The Dark Presence seems to pop back up then, sounding like an angry hum, but Alan tries to squash that down. It's not the time for it to show up. Not that there ever is a good time for it. ]