[ It isn't the kind of story Alan would write, but he believed he needed to adapt his own style of writing to fit in with the horror genre. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he didn't need to completely change the sort of writer that he was. Maybe in that way, that was the Dark Presence changing him. Turning him into someone else. It's a thought that doesn't ease his nerves at all. But he's still trying to stop the invasion, and now that Jesse's on the scene, determined to do her part to help change it, he wonders what exactly that means.
Naturally, his overactive imagination goes to extremes, imagining the worst sort of horrors, the ones that would affect him the most personally, because of their connection. But beyond that, because Alan isn't a cruel person, he can't stand the idea of the story pulling everyone in further and either killing or injuring them almost for fun. The darkness is too powerful, and shouldn't be underestimated. Not that he believes Jesse would for even a second, but it's still that master of deception: finding ways to sneak in when someone's back is turned.
So Alan will never be pleased with the idea of someone else paying the price he's meant to instead of him. But the part of him that is tired of years of fighting, of trying, of being looped back around again and again just wants to lie down and let Jesse as herself or as the Director take over. Not entirely, because he still has to write, but he can relinquish some of the control he's been desperately trying to hold onto. Maybe he never was in control.
But then there's another part of him, a more cynical part, that says there's no point in letting her help. The Dark Presence has its claws in him, as she's already realized. He's spent so long being outside of time and space that maybe there's no place for Alan Wake anymore. Maybe his place is in places he barely remembers, such as the room in her apartment that she set aside for him to use. Maybe he'll flit in and out of those places, always coming back to the Dark Place.
No, that can't be true. I can't give up. I'm tired, but I just can't give up. I won't. ]
It's washed away so much already. You know it has. You've seen it, haven't you? [ She's seen it, he's lived through it. ] It's hard to not think of it all in past tense. It's in the past, not the present. That life, whoever it belonged to.
[ Maybe he and Jesse are really more alike than perhaps either of them have realized. They're both locked in their respective fights. Maybe Jesse ultimately won her fight to find a place in the world where she is believed and where she knows what she's seen is real. Alan's fight is still continuing. The latest tactic from the Dark Place is making him doubt his place in reality. ]
Polaris... Polaris. [ That's not the only thing he's been forced to forget. He can't remember Jesse's guide. ] The name of the North Star, that guides people who are lost. But that's not all Polaris is, is it? [ He knows facts, scientific ones that don't really relate to Jesse's Polaris.
He'd lose himself in trying to remember things that are hidden from him, but that would pull him away from her, and he's been pulled away from her enough as it is.
He's not physically in the lake, but the lake in his mind very much has him in its grip. The waves want to wash him out even as he tries desperately to reach out for and to hold onto Jesse's hands as they reach out to him. He's reaching, desperately, straining for something to hold onto, something to pull him out of the water even as the current pulls him back down and further in. His own strength is waning and has been for awhile, almost like a real drowning victim's strength wanes while fighting off real waves.
But who says the waves of the Dark Presence are less real than those? In some ways, they're more real than anything. Stronger than anything. Stronger than Alan.
But are they stronger than Polaris? The light bursts into Alan's mind, drowning out everything: thoughts, feelings, actions... The darkness can't exist when so much light is present. A switch has been flipped. The Champion of Light is waking up. He looks at Jesse, gray eyes once again locked on green ones. ]
... Jesse?
[ How many times have we done this? Will I stay awake this time? ]
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Naturally, his overactive imagination goes to extremes, imagining the worst sort of horrors, the ones that would affect him the most personally, because of their connection. But beyond that, because Alan isn't a cruel person, he can't stand the idea of the story pulling everyone in further and either killing or injuring them almost for fun. The darkness is too powerful, and shouldn't be underestimated. Not that he believes Jesse would for even a second, but it's still that master of deception: finding ways to sneak in when someone's back is turned.
So Alan will never be pleased with the idea of someone else paying the price he's meant to instead of him. But the part of him that is tired of years of fighting, of trying, of being looped back around again and again just wants to lie down and let Jesse as herself or as the Director take over. Not entirely, because he still has to write, but he can relinquish some of the control he's been desperately trying to hold onto. Maybe he never was in control.
But then there's another part of him, a more cynical part, that says there's no point in letting her help. The Dark Presence has its claws in him, as she's already realized. He's spent so long being outside of time and space that maybe there's no place for Alan Wake anymore. Maybe his place is in places he barely remembers, such as the room in her apartment that she set aside for him to use. Maybe he'll flit in and out of those places, always coming back to the Dark Place.
No, that can't be true. I can't give up. I'm tired, but I just can't give up. I won't. ]
It's washed away so much already. You know it has. You've seen it, haven't you? [ She's seen it, he's lived through it. ] It's hard to not think of it all in past tense. It's in the past, not the present. That life, whoever it belonged to.
[ Maybe he and Jesse are really more alike than perhaps either of them have realized. They're both locked in their respective fights. Maybe Jesse ultimately won her fight to find a place in the world where she is believed and where she knows what she's seen is real. Alan's fight is still continuing. The latest tactic from the Dark Place is making him doubt his place in reality. ]
Polaris... Polaris. [ That's not the only thing he's been forced to forget. He can't remember Jesse's guide. ] The name of the North Star, that guides people who are lost. But that's not all Polaris is, is it? [ He knows facts, scientific ones that don't really relate to Jesse's Polaris.
He'd lose himself in trying to remember things that are hidden from him, but that would pull him away from her, and he's been pulled away from her enough as it is.
He's not physically in the lake, but the lake in his mind very much has him in its grip. The waves want to wash him out even as he tries desperately to reach out for and to hold onto Jesse's hands as they reach out to him. He's reaching, desperately, straining for something to hold onto, something to pull him out of the water even as the current pulls him back down and further in. His own strength is waning and has been for awhile, almost like a real drowning victim's strength wanes while fighting off real waves.
But who says the waves of the Dark Presence are less real than those? In some ways, they're more real than anything. Stronger than anything. Stronger than Alan.
But are they stronger than Polaris? The light bursts into Alan's mind, drowning out everything: thoughts, feelings, actions... The darkness can't exist when so much light is present. A switch has been flipped. The Champion of Light is waking up. He looks at Jesse, gray eyes once again locked on green ones. ]
... Jesse?
[ How many times have we done this? Will I stay awake this time? ]
Hi.