[ Oh, Alan would recoil in horror if she knew what she was thinking. He would reject the idea without even giving it a second's thought. He's had a shift in his thinking without even really knowing when that shift began. The story might need victims; it might pull people in and torment and murder them. But he's never been all right with that. He had to let it happen in some instances, but it's not okay with him. The things that he wrote when he wasn't in control of himself horrify him. That's why so much of the manuscripts are edited.
Now, all he wants to do is minimize the damage and hurt done to other people. If he can somehow put it into the story that the people he cares about are kept out of harm's way, then that's what he intends to do. It has to be subtle, of course, because the story resists, but... Saga and her daughter. Casey. Jesse, Steve, the rest of the FBC in Bright Falls. They need to be kept safe, somehow. He can't remember what exactly he's done in the name of protecting them, because he can't remember that while he's in the story, but he must have done something.
The Dark Presence clearly doesn't like that, even if Alan doesn't realize that's what is causing the ripple of anger inside him.
Get out of my story! You're in MY story.
The thought resounds loudly in Alan's head, and the shooting pain resurfaces for just a second. But it's all internal, and unless Jesse's looking closely, she might miss how Alan's eyes darken for just a second. It's only for a second, and then it's gone, and Alan's there with her. ]
It's going to try and stop you. It doesn't want me to remember. I shouldn't remember, because it's not in the story.
[ His eyes shift again, looking for something that he can't quite see. He's looking for Polaris, that guiding star, but he still can't see her. Can't see the shimmer that he saw in his dream. He can feel her, but just barely. That part of him that's the Champion of Light is reaching back for her, trying to bridge that gap, but so far, it's a slow effort.
But somehow, even if he's struggling to feel Polaris' resonance, he can feel Jesse. He can feel her, and more importantly, the kiss is stirring up memories buried beneath the demands of the story. All he sees are flashes of images, but it's them. They're in different motel rooms, or in a conference room, or in a darkened room he knows too well. But in each one, he's not alone. He's with her.
She keeps finding him in each one, even in a place he never wanted her to see, and in each one, they're home. They're home because they're together.
The words slide out of him almost by accident; he didn't mean to say them out loud, but they come out anyway. ]
no subject
Now, all he wants to do is minimize the damage and hurt done to other people. If he can somehow put it into the story that the people he cares about are kept out of harm's way, then that's what he intends to do. It has to be subtle, of course, because the story resists, but... Saga and her daughter. Casey. Jesse, Steve, the rest of the FBC in Bright Falls. They need to be kept safe, somehow. He can't remember what exactly he's done in the name of protecting them, because he can't remember that while he's in the story, but he must have done something.
The Dark Presence clearly doesn't like that, even if Alan doesn't realize that's what is causing the ripple of anger inside him.
Get out of my story! You're in MY story.
The thought resounds loudly in Alan's head, and the shooting pain resurfaces for just a second. But it's all internal, and unless Jesse's looking closely, she might miss how Alan's eyes darken for just a second. It's only for a second, and then it's gone, and Alan's there with her. ]
It's going to try and stop you. It doesn't want me to remember. I shouldn't remember, because it's not in the story.
[ His eyes shift again, looking for something that he can't quite see. He's looking for Polaris, that guiding star, but he still can't see her. Can't see the shimmer that he saw in his dream. He can feel her, but just barely. That part of him that's the Champion of Light is reaching back for her, trying to bridge that gap, but so far, it's a slow effort.
But somehow, even if he's struggling to feel Polaris' resonance, he can feel Jesse. He can feel her, and more importantly, the kiss is stirring up memories buried beneath the demands of the story. All he sees are flashes of images, but it's them. They're in different motel rooms, or in a conference room, or in a darkened room he knows too well. But in each one, he's not alone. He's with her.
She keeps finding him in each one, even in a place he never wanted her to see, and in each one, they're home. They're home because they're together.
The words slide out of him almost by accident; he didn't mean to say them out loud, but they come out anyway. ]
Jesse, I want to come home.