[ Jesse might be trying to not lean into him, but Alan has no such reservations. He's searching blindly in the dark trying to figure out what his next moves are, and well, it's just easier to tease intimacy with Jesse than trying to think about a story he barely knows how to fix.
He can't avoid it forever, or even put it off for very long, but he can't lie and say the idea isn't attractive to him. Just like Jesse is attractive to him. ]
Well, how often do you end up in a place that's supposed to be a town in Arizona but isn't a town in Arizona? I know, normal isn't really a thing anymore, but- even normal has its limits, doesn't it? But hey, if you don't think it's weird, that's good. Because something tells me it's only going to get weirder.
[ He nods immediately without hesitation. ] Yeah, I want to come home for you. I want- Stupid stuff, really. And of course I want to see Barry. Alice- that's complicated.
[ He watches as she pauses and frowns, turning her gaze down and to the side. He wonders if maybe he said the wrong thing; maybe she's mad at him still for how they parted before. Maybe he didn't make his feelings clear, that he really didn't want to leave her behind. That leaving her behind wasn't easy for him. Being left behind wasn't easy for her, he's certain of that. But he's the one who had to turn his back and take that leap, not really knowing what he was getting into. ]
I messed up. I know I did. [ He wants to promise that he'll never do anything like that again, but he doesn't even know if he can keep that promise. ] I'll try. I know that's not the answer you want, but I swear I'll try.
What am I trying to do? Honestly, sometimes it feels like I don't know. But as far as I can tell, this story's already written, right? But I don't think everything that's on the pages has already happened or... or whatever. So I think I still can change it, if I can just find all the pieces of the story.
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He can't avoid it forever, or even put it off for very long, but he can't lie and say the idea isn't attractive to him. Just like Jesse is attractive to him. ]
Well, how often do you end up in a place that's supposed to be a town in Arizona but isn't a town in Arizona? I know, normal isn't really a thing anymore, but- even normal has its limits, doesn't it? But hey, if you don't think it's weird, that's good. Because something tells me it's only going to get weirder.
[ He nods immediately without hesitation. ] Yeah, I want to come home for you. I want- Stupid stuff, really. And of course I want to see Barry. Alice- that's complicated.
[ He watches as she pauses and frowns, turning her gaze down and to the side. He wonders if maybe he said the wrong thing; maybe she's mad at him still for how they parted before. Maybe he didn't make his feelings clear, that he really didn't want to leave her behind. That leaving her behind wasn't easy for him. Being left behind wasn't easy for her, he's certain of that. But he's the one who had to turn his back and take that leap, not really knowing what he was getting into. ]
I messed up. I know I did. [ He wants to promise that he'll never do anything like that again, but he doesn't even know if he can keep that promise. ] I'll try. I know that's not the answer you want, but I swear I'll try.
What am I trying to do? Honestly, sometimes it feels like I don't know. But as far as I can tell, this story's already written, right? But I don't think everything that's on the pages has already happened or... or whatever. So I think I still can change it, if I can just find all the pieces of the story.