[ Alan isn't a mind reader; he's perceptive, and he can read people. He's spent a lot of time practicing reading people in the name of helping him with his books and making the characters in them feel alive. The jury's out on how well he's succeeded, but he's developed a habit of just observing people and watching how they move and act and talk. And although Jesse isn't talking at this moment, he can still pick up on a few things about her. They're only guesses, of course, but they're backed up by what he knows to be true.
She's not alone right now, but when this ends, when he has to leave, she'll be alone. He won't really be with her, because he's not really with her. That makes him a liar, or at least someone saying pretty words and wishing they were true. Which is worse? He feels like the last part is the worse option of the two, because it gives her false hope.
I really am an asshole.
And yet even though he is an asshole, he sees her pulling herself back up, but more than that, he sees her reaching for him. She's not turning away, or pushing him away, or yelling at him to get out so that she can actually be alone.
He feels that tug on his hand as she steps back into the bathroom, and so he follows, drawn along by that tug and that pull he always feels towards her. Once they're both inside, he pauses, standing in the door frame, as if to ask if this is really all right with her. ]
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She's not alone right now, but when this ends, when he has to leave, she'll be alone. He won't really be with her, because he's not really with her. That makes him a liar, or at least someone saying pretty words and wishing they were true. Which is worse? He feels like the last part is the worse option of the two, because it gives her false hope.
I really am an asshole.
And yet even though he is an asshole, he sees her pulling herself back up, but more than that, he sees her reaching for him. She's not turning away, or pushing him away, or yelling at him to get out so that she can actually be alone.
He feels that tug on his hand as she steps back into the bathroom, and so he follows, drawn along by that tug and that pull he always feels towards her. Once they're both inside, he pauses, standing in the door frame, as if to ask if this is really all right with her. ]