[ There has to be a way for him to keep reaching out to her. He sees things sometimes: visions, dreams, things he couldn't understand or know, but he's seen them. He doesn't really understand how it all works, but he knows he's always seen things for as long as he can remember. It's things that he shouldn't be able to know, but they find their way to him somehow. Maybe the connection can go the other way too; could he send messages to her somehow?
Who knows what form those messages would take, but any message is better than none at all.
If he knew the thoughts going through her mind, he'd tell her without even the slightest bit of hesitation that she's anything but forgettable. If it was solely up to him, he wouldn't even need to take precautions in the form of a handwritten note from her. But he feels like he needs to do this. He needs this failsafe, even if he doesn't quite understand why. It's the nature of the place he's in; he knows that much. But something, whether his own instinct or an instinct coming from someone far away, is telling him he needs to do this.
To Alan, it looks as though Jesse is questioning why he asked her to write on the piece of paper. He hopes she knows he's not doubting her or that he's calling her someone forgettable. Please just write on the paper in case I do forget this. I don't want to forget this, but if I do, I'll need the reminder. I'll need to be able to read her name so that I can remember. I have to remember. I don't understand why this feels so important, but I can't just ignore this feeling.
Eventually, she finishes writing and she folds up the paper and holds it out to him. He reaches for it only for her to pull back just a fraction. His own fingers curl in response and he waits to see what she'll do next. ]
Okay. I won't. I promise. I'll keep it safe, and I won't lose it, and I won't read it unless something happens to make me need to read it.
[ There's the briefest of pauses and then he adds: ] Thank you.
[ But then he startles when he sees her legs start to shake, followed by her falling and barely managing to catch herself. He's already moving when her hands tug on the flannel he wears, and in a second, he's by her side again.
It might not be immediately obvious to him that Polaris isn't with Jesse anymore, at least not in the way that she's used to, but he can tell that something isn't right. He doesn't know what more to do other than to get closer to her and hold her as she leans against him. His hold tightens as the minutes seem to stretch on before she says she misses him. ]
I miss you too. [ He wants to remember this: how she feels and how it feels to hold her. But he also wants to remember the sound of her voice so that he can hear it and remember her words when he's on his own again. ] I want to stay here with you.
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Who knows what form those messages would take, but any message is better than none at all.
If he knew the thoughts going through her mind, he'd tell her without even the slightest bit of hesitation that she's anything but forgettable. If it was solely up to him, he wouldn't even need to take precautions in the form of a handwritten note from her. But he feels like he needs to do this. He needs this failsafe, even if he doesn't quite understand why. It's the nature of the place he's in; he knows that much. But something, whether his own instinct or an instinct coming from someone far away, is telling him he needs to do this.
To Alan, it looks as though Jesse is questioning why he asked her to write on the piece of paper. He hopes she knows he's not doubting her or that he's calling her someone forgettable. Please just write on the paper in case I do forget this. I don't want to forget this, but if I do, I'll need the reminder. I'll need to be able to read her name so that I can remember. I have to remember. I don't understand why this feels so important, but I can't just ignore this feeling.
Eventually, she finishes writing and she folds up the paper and holds it out to him. He reaches for it only for her to pull back just a fraction. His own fingers curl in response and he waits to see what she'll do next. ]
Okay. I won't. I promise. I'll keep it safe, and I won't lose it, and I won't read it unless something happens to make me need to read it.
[ There's the briefest of pauses and then he adds: ] Thank you.
[ But then he startles when he sees her legs start to shake, followed by her falling and barely managing to catch herself. He's already moving when her hands tug on the flannel he wears, and in a second, he's by her side again.
It might not be immediately obvious to him that Polaris isn't with Jesse anymore, at least not in the way that she's used to, but he can tell that something isn't right. He doesn't know what more to do other than to get closer to her and hold her as she leans against him. His hold tightens as the minutes seem to stretch on before she says she misses him. ]
I miss you too. [ He wants to remember this: how she feels and how it feels to hold her. But he also wants to remember the sound of her voice so that he can hear it and remember her words when he's on his own again. ] I want to stay here with you.
[ As long as I can, anyway. ]