[ She leans into his hold. It won't protect her from her past, or keep her from seeing the horrible things that she has seen. If it helps keeps the nightmares away? That will be enough. Having someone listen--even if he doesn't fully believe it--is more than enough. She wants someone to believe her, but it must be too much to ask for if none have so far. So, she'll take Alan at least listening and humoring her for now. Holding her. Treating her like she's a normal person when she knows she is far, far from ordinary.
Did she come out of Ordinary as someone put together and capable of handling the world? Or, has she just become skilled at seeming like she's a normal person? She's damaged. Very damaged. Her ability to trust others, to believe them, is almost non-existent. The belief that something is always out to get her--some government agency--is always at the back of her mind. Being able to simply live like a normal person doesn't exist. Alan may see a young woman who is put together and handling everything around her. She's just put the walls up so no one can see the girl from Ordinary inside who is lonely and desperate to find something and someone to believe her--to believe in. ]
We woke up the next morning and they were gone. Every single adult in Ordinary just... gone. W-we got as many kids as we could together to figure out where Tom and the others hid the slide projector. We managed to get in, take it back, and... we ran with it. We couldn't figure out how to turn it off. Dylan fell. I helped him, but Tom, his gang, and the Not-Mother were all on our heels. They almost got us.
[ Jesse's gaze flicks to the side even if her face is hidden in his hoodie. Her fingers have curled to the point she almost tugs on the fabric. ]
I... I turned the slide to the one we met Polaris in. I asked her to help us. I didn't know what else to do, who else to go to for help. She told us what to do to turn it off. W-when we did? They disappeared. Tom. His gang. The Not-Mother... Neil. Our parents never came back. The other adults didn't. It was just... us left over.
[ Jesse feels her legs curl upwards. God, she wishes this was the end, but it's not. Now that she's started telling the story it's almost like she can't stop. The words keep flowing from her. ]
A few days later the government came. They said they were there to help, and wanted to know what happened. Dylan and I told them. We took them to the slide projector and explained everything. They were the adults, they were supposed to help. Instead--they took the projector. They grabbed Dylan and me. I--I got away. Dylan didn't. They took him away...
[ « I ran. I left him there. It's my fault. »
Alan knows the next part. She's told him before, but again, the words keep coming. The words become less and less emotional. Droned, repeated, things she's repeating from being told. As if they had told her it and she would of believed through repetition. ]
They lied. They said it was an industrial accident. They covered it up. No counselor or shrink believed me when I told them what happened. Schools, foster families, they made me talk to people who were supposed to help. People who were supposed to understand and believe me. Just like Hartman. None of them did. I made it up because I couldn't handle the fact everyone died in an accident. Polaris wasn't real. She was my imaginary friend.
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Did she come out of Ordinary as someone put together and capable of handling the world? Or, has she just become skilled at seeming like she's a normal person? She's damaged. Very damaged. Her ability to trust others, to believe them, is almost non-existent. The belief that something is always out to get her--some government agency--is always at the back of her mind. Being able to simply live like a normal person doesn't exist. Alan may see a young woman who is put together and handling everything around her. She's just put the walls up so no one can see the girl from Ordinary inside who is lonely and desperate to find something and someone to believe her--to believe in. ]
We woke up the next morning and they were gone. Every single adult in Ordinary just... gone. W-we got as many kids as we could together to figure out where Tom and the others hid the slide projector. We managed to get in, take it back, and... we ran with it. We couldn't figure out how to turn it off. Dylan fell. I helped him, but Tom, his gang, and the Not-Mother were all on our heels. They almost got us.
[ Jesse's gaze flicks to the side even if her face is hidden in his hoodie. Her fingers have curled to the point she almost tugs on the fabric. ]
I... I turned the slide to the one we met Polaris in. I asked her to help us. I didn't know what else to do, who else to go to for help. She told us what to do to turn it off. W-when we did? They disappeared. Tom. His gang. The Not-Mother... Neil. Our parents never came back. The other adults didn't. It was just... us left over.
[ Jesse feels her legs curl upwards. God, she wishes this was the end, but it's not. Now that she's started telling the story it's almost like she can't stop. The words keep flowing from her. ]
A few days later the government came. They said they were there to help, and wanted to know what happened. Dylan and I told them. We took them to the slide projector and explained everything. They were the adults, they were supposed to help. Instead--they took the projector. They grabbed Dylan and me. I--I got away. Dylan didn't. They took him away...
[ « I ran. I left him there. It's my fault. »
Alan knows the next part. She's told him before, but again, the words keep coming. The words become less and less emotional. Droned, repeated, things she's repeating from being told. As if they had told her it and she would of believed through repetition. ]
They lied. They said it was an industrial accident. They covered it up. No counselor or shrink believed me when I told them what happened. Schools, foster families, they made me talk to people who were supposed to help. People who were supposed to understand and believe me. Just like Hartman. None of them did. I made it up because I couldn't handle the fact everyone died in an accident. Polaris wasn't real. She was my imaginary friend.