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outlierdirector) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synthneon2023-11-01 01:57 am
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-11-01 01:57 am
oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞
I cannot feel her by my side
Even in this placе inside my mind
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God, I want it to be real.
As for what he likes about her touches, the truth of it is, she could touch him anywhere, do anything to him, and he'd respond to it. Even her hips grinding against his stirred up something inside him, something he thought was long buried. Maybe the reaction wasn't so obvious in his face or in how his body reacted, but he felt it.
His heart is still racing even when that moment of release comes, and his breath comes out in fast gasps as all of his senses feel like they've been dialed up to fifteen. Adrenaline continues to drive him, as does the urge to just let go of everything, of all his inhibitions and just take her.
That hungry look in her eyes only adds to that longing to just give in and claim her. They're one anyway, and if she wanted to take him too, he'd let her. There's nothing he wouldn't let her do, and taking him as hers is just one of those things. He belongs to her already, so why not? ]
Jesse. [ They're so close already, but he leans in more and all but crashes his mouth onto hers in a deep, hungry kiss. After a second, he starts to trace alongside the outside of her mouth with his tongue. ]
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« I wish it was as simple as just beating Scratch like it is an Altered Item. »
Her eyes never leave his, intently watching all the little things of his reaction. Is he tired? Should they stop here? How hungry is he for her? Does he feel that same almost otherworldly but primal need? Maybe not to be brighter, but to be louder. If so, then, she wants him to do it. Bring her to that point she has brought him. Make her feel nothing else but him.
Her heart pounds in her ears. The name slips out and she feels everything in her curl and tighten. Alan could just say her name and she would come undone for him. Not that he has said it the "magic" way yet, but, he's so close.
Lips crash onto hers and she moans against his mouth. Hands curl in the sheets beside him, entirely melting into his arms. She still moves against him, trying to communicate asking for him to take her. Making sure she is his and no one else's. Her tongue meets his even as her usually controlled movements in everything become more emotional. All most erratic.
She loves him so much that is almost hurts. Not that being in love with him hurts. The idea of losing him like she's lost Dylan, her family, her friends from Ordinary. He's become so much apart of her world she can't imagine letting him go leave it.
Ever. ]
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But then the other issue remains with Jesse, because he's certain she won't let him go in order to make that happen. She won't accept him being trapped by the story forever.
He frowns briefly and he shakes his head once, temporarily dismissing that idea to the back of his mind. It's something to think about, but not right now. Right now, he just wants to think about them. He just wants to feel them coming together. He wants to feel Jesse as she reacts to his touches and kisses.
He never wants to stop touching her, never wants to be apart from her unless their respective responsibilities demand it. Even then, it's not a permanent parting. Then he knows that he can't ever go for the idea in the back of his mind. He can't have it both ways, after all. No, the story has to end. He needs it to end.
Then it hits him: what she needs is something she can hold onto, if she can remember this after this moment, this loop ends. He needs to make her his. He needs to be made hers. He's done this before, so he's not whole and untouched, but he's never done this with her. Well, he might have once in the loops, but the memory of it is hard to grab onto.
To make her his, he has to remove that last barrier, and with that in mind, he takes that plunge, that step that goes beyond intimate touches and crosses into the kind of connection that should signify commitment: a lasting commitment and bond. At least, that's what Alan hopes for, for the two of them. ]
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She doesn't notice how he shakes his head or the thoughts that make him go from one to another. All of her attention is focused on them and moving in a way that doesn't cause her head to pound when she moves. She still rests on top of him, moving to try and get his attentioned on what she wants. The little gasp and moans his kisses and hands bring from her can't communicate that.
Something seems to have communicated it to him though because he bridges that final step again. She gasps in surprise, but then melts against him. It signifies in her mind that he's taken control of the moment and she doesn't need to clasp onto it. She can just let go and ride the waves, letting him decide the pace and where they go. How they're positioned.
Jesse still moves with him even as she visibly let's that control go for him. Her head lowers to his shoulder. They've done it before. It feels like a different century and it wasn't the same as this. Still, they've been intimate before, and now it feels as if they're finally back together how they were. Not just as the Director and Writer. ]
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Maybe that's just another loop or spiral or whatever the hell it is that he has to go through. Part of him recoils from the idea. He doesn't want to think about that right now. It makes his head hurt and it makes him feel unsettled. He just wants to have this time with Jesse in which both of them are content yet wanting more.
He has to push himself up a little to gain just a little bit of leverage so he can rub himself against her once more without pulling back completely. They already belong together, and they have done this before, although the memories are foggy for both of them. But doing this now, doing it again, is just further signalling how they belong together. How they belong to each other. And as far as Alan's concerned, it means nothing will get in between them again, at least not permanently.
His hips rock again, thrusting a little bit against hers, and his hands curl around her to further stabilize him as he moves. ]
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This all feels like something that has been long overdue. A homecoming. Something cheesey like the soldier at war finally home, or a pair that could never be together despite everything they tried. It's a sentimental thought that crosses her mind, but ultimately the reason why she moves with how he directs them and positions how he wants. All she cares about is him and being with him. The primal sense to make herself louder definitely roars in the back of her mind, but it only adds to the selfish desire already present.
A content sigh leaves her as he positions himself, only to be followed by a moan as he rocks up into her. Jesse adjusts slightly, hoping to bring them more into contact. Then, she tries to keep pace with him. Hot open mouth kisses are placed down his neck, shoulder, hands curling again into the sheets beneath him. At some point she simply lays against him and her hands curl around his body in return.
She begins to say his name over and over, as if each time it's supposed to mean a different word in how she feels. They're probably not needed as he can most certainly garner what emotions she feels by her reactions. They shift a certain way and her back arcs to press herself into him as it all releases at once. She gasps and moans for him, head lowering again to his neck as she pants. Everything about her senses is filled with him, and some part of her mind hopes he once again found his point of no return. It doesn't matter to her that he's had more turns than her. He's been the one stuck in a nightmare for thirteen years.
Eventually her breathing evens and she slumps against him. A shaking hand rests on his chest as she simply lays there. Her head pounds in a good way, but there is definitely no chance in her being able to sit up straight now. The fact should bother her more, but, he could simply roll them over and continue if wanted. She wouldn't mind.
Jesse closes her eyes and presses her forehead to the side of his neck. ]
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Other things like reconnecting with Jesse and picking up where they've left off. And they've left off a lot. It really does feel like something long overdue, and if it's cheesy, well- Alan's written and said some cheesy things before. He might not call himself a soldier, but he's definitely been in a fight... a long one. A war is more fitting, probably. Maybe one day the war will be over and they won't have to worry about anything getting in between them again.
She's bringing him to that point of no return again with every kiss and touch, and as she begins to repeat his name, he feels himself coming closer to that edge, to that drop into an abyss of pleasure, of ecstasy. Finally, he gets there, and he feels a swell of that pleasure followed by release, and when she slumps against him, he feels himself go slack as well, just lying on the bed but not letting go of her either. Has she reached her own climax? Her own drop off that hypothetical cliff? If she hasn't, he wants to bring her there too, because she deserves to feel good just as much as he does.
For right now, though, just lying still and touching her is more than enough. ]
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Jesse closes her eyes and lays her head against his neck. She doesn't move to pull them apart just yet. It would be too fast and they've spent too much time apart. Time where they couldn't be together, or time where they didn't realize they were together. Now is just the time to be together as them. The amplifiers of their certain abilities touched by other worldly forces.
She hasn't realized how bright the room is now. Only that it's more comfortable than anywhere else she's been in a long, long time.
It feels like she should say something. What can she even begin to say? The hand raises from his chest and moves to his hair. Fingers slide down his longer hair, moving it from his face and just trying to touch him in some manner. ]
I missed you. Alan Wake. [ « Not the writer who is famous and missing. Him being who he is underneath all those expectations. Just, Alan Wake. » ] This. And you...
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When she lays her head against his neck, he places his hand against her hair and lightly twines his fingers through it. Touching her calms him and puts him at ease, and it reassures him to know that she's there with him and at least for now, they're together. He hasn't fully realized how bright the room is now, but it's making him feel... Stronger? More awake? He's not even really sure what he's feeling.
When she moves her hand from his chest to his hair, he lets out an audible sigh of contentment and ease. ]
I always miss you. [ He knows he can say that with certainty because it's fact. ] Even if the story tries to keep me from remembering it, I... I always feel like there's something missing. Someone missing. [ I'm not whole without her. ]
I- [ His gaze lowers as emotion pulls at him, not wanting to let him resist its force. ] I wish we could stay together like this. Always.
[ And maybe one day they will, and it's that "one day" that Alan's trying to hold onto. ]