[ Maybe art does imitate life. Or life imitates art. Or both. But maybe the truth of it all is that Alan never really believed in a happy ending. Who knows how things would have gone with him and Alice if they'd never encountered the horrors of the Dark Place? He can't see how any of that would have ended. Would he have gotten past his writer's block and things would have settled down between them? That's something he doesn't have the answer to, and he probably never will.
Jesse's thoughts about Alan's own feelings relating to his family aren't too far from the mark. He's just never really spent much time thinking about them, because there are some paths he just doesn't want to go down. Maybe it's easier to not think about the difficult things from the past. Or maybe it's not easier at all, when the present comes with its own share of difficulties.
But Alan knows he's going to get nowhere thinking about things that ultimately have no chance of resolution. Instead, he focuses on Jesse's words, trying to take them in and learn from them, because there's so much about what's really going on that he barely understands. ]
So... so this didn't start when I came here. It was always something lurking beneath the surface, in the lake, the people... [ Maybe he had had some idea of that before, but it hadn't really registered or sunk in. Maybe he'd been dragged in long before he ever thought about diving into the waters of Cauldron Lake. Did it all start with the cabin that shouldn't have been there? Maybe.
Alan shakes his head. He doesn't like the knowledge that someone else could have potentially been pulled into this mess. It's bad enough that he got caught up in all of it, but nothing about this is anything anyone deserves. ]
I wish there was a way to get rid of it completely, so no one else gets pulled in without realizing what's going on. If all of this comes from this place, originating from the lake... [ What? Drain the lake? Would that make it worse? I don't know how to stop this. Jesse and the FBC might, but maybe they don't know either. Does anyone really know how to deal with this?
He almost didn't ask the question that's been on his mind. He just wanted to have this moment with Jesse, to just let go of everything that's not the two of them. But it seems that his mind just doesn't know when to shut up. She pushes herself into a sitting position, and he's quick to put his arms around her to offer more support.
He's too aware of her: of her hips resting against his, of her hands on his face. The way she breathes. How the sun hits her hair and almost makes it glow. She's beautiful. He knows that, and he's reminded of it almost all the time. ]
I don't think you're weird. The rest of the world might, but who needs them? When it's just the two of us, can't it just be us? [ And if the world labels them both weird, then, well... that's just how it is. Alan knows he's not like everyone else either. Maybe even before all of this started, he was just a step out of touch with the world and with people.
Maybe the Dark Presence just widened that gap and made the separation bigger. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I'd want you. I can't imagine anything else. [ A part of me doesn't want anything else. I wish that we could just have that normal life. Maybe we can, but it'll have to be normal on our terms. We decide how that looks, how it works for us. Yeah, I like that idea. ]
That would be more than okay.
[ Shivers form at the base of his spine and travel upwards as she touches him. All she has to do is touch him anywhere, and he becomes little better than putty in her hands to do with what she wants. And he doesn't mind that. He doesn't resist.
He wants to return the favor; he wants to let his hands travel anywhere they can reach. He wants to pull off both of their clothes so nothing is between them. So far, he's tried to resist that building urge, but it's growing harder to do with how she's touching him.
Slowly, almost like he's testing something, he reaches for the strap of her tank top and slides it down over her shoulder. If she encourages the action, he might go farther, but he waits to see what she does next. ]
no subject
Jesse's thoughts about Alan's own feelings relating to his family aren't too far from the mark. He's just never really spent much time thinking about them, because there are some paths he just doesn't want to go down. Maybe it's easier to not think about the difficult things from the past. Or maybe it's not easier at all, when the present comes with its own share of difficulties.
But Alan knows he's going to get nowhere thinking about things that ultimately have no chance of resolution. Instead, he focuses on Jesse's words, trying to take them in and learn from them, because there's so much about what's really going on that he barely understands. ]
So... so this didn't start when I came here. It was always something lurking beneath the surface, in the lake, the people... [ Maybe he had had some idea of that before, but it hadn't really registered or sunk in. Maybe he'd been dragged in long before he ever thought about diving into the waters of Cauldron Lake. Did it all start with the cabin that shouldn't have been there? Maybe.
Alan shakes his head. He doesn't like the knowledge that someone else could have potentially been pulled into this mess. It's bad enough that he got caught up in all of it, but nothing about this is anything anyone deserves. ]
I wish there was a way to get rid of it completely, so no one else gets pulled in without realizing what's going on. If all of this comes from this place, originating from the lake... [ What? Drain the lake? Would that make it worse? I don't know how to stop this. Jesse and the FBC might, but maybe they don't know either. Does anyone really know how to deal with this?
He almost didn't ask the question that's been on his mind. He just wanted to have this moment with Jesse, to just let go of everything that's not the two of them. But it seems that his mind just doesn't know when to shut up. She pushes herself into a sitting position, and he's quick to put his arms around her to offer more support.
He's too aware of her: of her hips resting against his, of her hands on his face. The way she breathes. How the sun hits her hair and almost makes it glow. She's beautiful. He knows that, and he's reminded of it almost all the time. ]
I don't think you're weird. The rest of the world might, but who needs them? When it's just the two of us, can't it just be us? [ And if the world labels them both weird, then, well... that's just how it is. Alan knows he's not like everyone else either. Maybe even before all of this started, he was just a step out of touch with the world and with people.
Maybe the Dark Presence just widened that gap and made the separation bigger. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I'd want you. I can't imagine anything else. [ A part of me doesn't want anything else. I wish that we could just have that normal life. Maybe we can, but it'll have to be normal on our terms. We decide how that looks, how it works for us. Yeah, I like that idea. ]
That would be more than okay.
[ Shivers form at the base of his spine and travel upwards as she touches him. All she has to do is touch him anywhere, and he becomes little better than putty in her hands to do with what she wants. And he doesn't mind that. He doesn't resist.
He wants to return the favor; he wants to let his hands travel anywhere they can reach. He wants to pull off both of their clothes so nothing is between them. So far, he's tried to resist that building urge, but it's growing harder to do with how she's touching him.
Slowly, almost like he's testing something, he reaches for the strap of her tank top and slides it down over her shoulder. If she encourages the action, he might go farther, but he waits to see what she does next. ]