[ She presses her forehead to his once more, eyes locking onto his. The intensity of his gaze is matched by hers. Words will never be her strong suit like they are him. She's been too guarded her whole life to simply make a gesture or a look to express everything she wants. His body tells her how exhausted he is, and his gaze just makes that even more apparent. Maybe his mind wants to keep going, but the rest of him won't keep up at this rate.
« Is that how it keeps catching him? It's just managed to wear him down with story after story that now it feels is the time it can take him over? We won't let that happen. I can't let that happen. Even with everything else at stake... I can't let it take him from me. »
Fingers brush against his lips and she'd rather be kissing him. If it wasn't for the fact she was so worried about his state of being, she would have. It wasn't but minutes ago they were kissing and talking to each other normally. Well, semi-normally. Now everything has made a complete flip on it's head. Will it always be this way? Or, is it just the nature of the Dark Place that things swing so quickly and wildly?
Her arms wrap around him securely. She can tell he's thinking a million miles a minute, and it's not something she can keep up with. Thoughts about him, the Dark Place, her, the story... she can't even begin to guess what it is. The back of her fingers begin to gently rub at his back. Hopefully it's comforting, because she truly has no idea how to be that for someone. She can't remember the last time she received something like it outside of Alan holding her hand. That gesture remains something she can't do as he's practically crumbling in her arms.
Jesse doesn't stop him from speaking. He needs to speak, to fill the empty space. Or, maybe he's simply thinking out loud. A stream of thoughts that don't make sense to her. Meaning they can't be for her. As long as they aren't insane rambles she feels will lead him down a dark path? She won't stop him.
« It's not like I could if I wanted to. »
She startles as he suddenly falls against her. His knees give up, but his arms wrap around her. Jesse gasps slightly before immediately adjusting for his weight and lack of strength. Her eyes dart down to his legs and then back up at him before making a decision immediately. Jesse hovers off the desk slightly, pulling him with her down onto the floor. It takes a little maneuvering so they are at the front of the desk with her back to it, as she figures that being in a slightly shadowed part between the desk and chalkboards wouldn't benefit him at all.
Both hands help him lay where he wishes to go, knowing she can't really stop him when he makes a decision. He seems to all but collapse against her, but ultimately settles with his head in her lap. She immediately stills, hands raised slightly above him as she's not entirely sure what to do now. This is something she's never done before.
« I don't know how to comfort people. I don't... how do I do any of this?! How can I help him when I don't begin to know how to give him what he needs? I... I'm just not good at this. That'll be a problem as it goes on, won't it? The fact I can't figure out how to express things, or to be doting person... »
She slowly, hesitantly, places one hand on his arm facing upwards. There's a shake there that she hopes he hasn't noticed in his exhaustion. The other hand rests against the top of his head on her leg. A feeling of failure creeps up on her. She's probably already messed it up somehow. Despite trying to do the exact opposite.
It's like I'm seeing you. Finally. For the first time. You're beautiful, and- and I love you.
« I can't see how I'm any of those things. »
Jesse looks to the side and squeezes his arm gently.
Something comes to mind then. An image that feels like a half-forgotten dream, but also feels so real at the same time. Leaning back against a broken shed in the dark woods. Light pouring over her from a street light. A weight is at her side, and her eyes turn to look at the source. Alan leans against her, head drooped, exhaustion claiming him even as the sunrise starts to peek over the trees. Tweed jacket, hoodie, jeans... short hair and no beard. He looks younger younger, but she is younger. A shaking hand raises and rests over his in her lap. She feels just as nervous and just as scared of doing the wrong thing and upsetting him. But, he hardly seems it, and if anything leans more into it.
Jesse blinks and feels herself startle again. The semi-familiar wooden attic is still around her, but she knows she never really left it. Her eyes dart side to side, trying to see if anything else has oddly shifted in the room. It hasn't. Alan is still resting in her lap, and the room remains as quiet as it always has, except for the hum of Polaris's resonance beating through the Light.
Her gaze drops to the Writer. Slowly, a hand shaking hand lifts from his arm to rest over the hand nearest to her. ]
no subject
« Is that how it keeps catching him? It's just managed to wear him down with story after story that now it feels is the time it can take him over? We won't let that happen. I can't let that happen. Even with everything else at stake... I can't let it take him from me. »
Fingers brush against his lips and she'd rather be kissing him. If it wasn't for the fact she was so worried about his state of being, she would have. It wasn't but minutes ago they were kissing and talking to each other normally. Well, semi-normally. Now everything has made a complete flip on it's head. Will it always be this way? Or, is it just the nature of the Dark Place that things swing so quickly and wildly?
Her arms wrap around him securely. She can tell he's thinking a million miles a minute, and it's not something she can keep up with. Thoughts about him, the Dark Place, her, the story... she can't even begin to guess what it is. The back of her fingers begin to gently rub at his back. Hopefully it's comforting, because she truly has no idea how to be that for someone. She can't remember the last time she received something like it outside of Alan holding her hand. That gesture remains something she can't do as he's practically crumbling in her arms.
Jesse doesn't stop him from speaking. He needs to speak, to fill the empty space. Or, maybe he's simply thinking out loud. A stream of thoughts that don't make sense to her. Meaning they can't be for her. As long as they aren't insane rambles she feels will lead him down a dark path? She won't stop him.
« It's not like I could if I wanted to. »
She startles as he suddenly falls against her. His knees give up, but his arms wrap around her. Jesse gasps slightly before immediately adjusting for his weight and lack of strength. Her eyes dart down to his legs and then back up at him before making a decision immediately. Jesse hovers off the desk slightly, pulling him with her down onto the floor. It takes a little maneuvering so they are at the front of the desk with her back to it, as she figures that being in a slightly shadowed part between the desk and chalkboards wouldn't benefit him at all.
Both hands help him lay where he wishes to go, knowing she can't really stop him when he makes a decision. He seems to all but collapse against her, but ultimately settles with his head in her lap. She immediately stills, hands raised slightly above him as she's not entirely sure what to do now. This is something she's never done before.
« I don't know how to comfort people. I don't... how do I do any of this?! How can I help him when I don't begin to know how to give him what he needs? I... I'm just not good at this. That'll be a problem as it goes on, won't it? The fact I can't figure out how to express things, or to be doting person... »
She slowly, hesitantly, places one hand on his arm facing upwards. There's a shake there that she hopes he hasn't noticed in his exhaustion. The other hand rests against the top of his head on her leg. A feeling of failure creeps up on her. She's probably already messed it up somehow. Despite trying to do the exact opposite.
It's like I'm seeing you. Finally. For the first time. You're beautiful, and- and I love you.
« I can't see how I'm any of those things. »
Jesse looks to the side and squeezes his arm gently.
Something comes to mind then. An image that feels like a half-forgotten dream, but also feels so real at the same time. Leaning back against a broken shed in the dark woods. Light pouring over her from a street light. A weight is at her side, and her eyes turn to look at the source. Alan leans against her, head drooped, exhaustion claiming him even as the sunrise starts to peek over the trees. Tweed jacket, hoodie, jeans... short hair and no beard. He looks younger younger, but she is younger. A shaking hand raises and rests over his in her lap. She feels just as nervous and just as scared of doing the wrong thing and upsetting him. But, he hardly seems it, and if anything leans more into it.
Jesse blinks and feels herself startle again. The semi-familiar wooden attic is still around her, but she knows she never really left it. Her eyes dart side to side, trying to see if anything else has oddly shifted in the room. It hasn't. Alan is still resting in her lap, and the room remains as quiet as it always has, except for the hum of Polaris's resonance beating through the Light.
Her gaze drops to the Writer. Slowly, a hand shaking hand lifts from his arm to rest over the hand nearest to her. ]