[ Jesse shakes her head. ] Why would I call it silly? Every kid is afraid of something. It's normal, Alan. Especially as normal as we tend to get. [ She squeezes his hands again. ] Maybe certain things are always on a crash course, but, I'm not sure I believe in the idea that we're unable to change that course overall. Maybe you would of always encountered the Dark Place. Sure. You're not going to be trapped here forever. I'm not going to let that happen.
[ Her gaze softens. She isn't willing to say he's ready to give up, but, he's certainly wanting to avoid facing it. He's been fighting on his own for too long. He's tired. Probably scared. He hasn't had something or someone like she's had Polaris. It's been thirteen years of this room, these boards, the desk, the typewriter. It's possible he doesn't really fully grasp the fact that he's not alone in this now.
He has her. Polaris. ]
It's actually what I was wearing when I found the FBC. I literally took what I had on me, and took a bus, and went straight to New York. [ She smiles slightly at him. ] That's what I was trying to tell the woman in that recording. Polaris sent me instructions on where to be, where to go, and what day. I didn't know why or why it was important until I got there ... and went diving into the past. More than I thought I would.
I was always a fan of Children of the Elder God. Dad usually played the Greatest Hits. That's the one I found in the dump that the FBC had taken. No vinyl though... just the cover.
[ Her hands squeeze his once more. Though, she stills at his suggestion. What good would that do? They pulled Hartman across the country to the Oldest House. And, when Alice Wake showed up, he broke out. He trashed an entire sector of the Oldest House. How would doing something similar to Alan be any better?
« Scratch is more powerful than Hartman. He's been... apart of the Dark Presence longer, right? Or, he is the Dark Presence. I can't tell which one. They seem interconnected. I don't think it'd be a good idea to bring him to the Oldest House. Especially if he's in Alan. That's NOT happening. Never again. » ]
Hartman broke out and nearly tore the entire Investigations Sector apart. Scratch would devastate what's left of the Bureau. I can't take him back there. Especially not inside you. That's not happening, okay? You're not getting out of here just to sacrifice yourself on some grandiose scale because you feel guilty, Alan. That's just going to make it all worse and you know that. It'd be giving Scratch exactly what he wants: to be you.
[ She sighs and shakes her head. ] Something does cancel out the Darkness. Fights it. It's the Light. Come on, Alan. You KNOW this. How do I know you know? You were the one that taught it to me. Weren't you? When you sent me after Hartman.
[ The whole parade of events is horrifying for her to see. It's different from talking to Dylan possessed by the Hiss. Instead, she's sitting there just watching as the Dark Presence takes over his words little by little. She knows Alan. Understands how he writes, how he talks, how he thinks. The words are in his voice but they aren't his. His voice changes to match the cadence of the words. A duller tone, lacking of anything that makes him Alan Wake.
« No, he's wrong. There is light. It's not bright, but it's not smoldering either. But it's still HERE. He's still here. That's why he brought us here. Why else would he relate the color of my hair to fire, and refer to you as a guiding star? Other than my name for you. They both give off light. Those two things make things brighter. It's just not letting him see it, because if he does, then it's losing. And it needs someone to dream it free. That's what this Something is... isn't it? This voice in my head that's trying to be me. It's the Dark Presence. The same thing talking through him and making him believe what he's saying. He hasn't realized it's not HIM saying it. »
Jesse lets one of his elbows go and reaches back behind her. The flashlight on the desk vibrates until it sails perfectly into her hand. It clicks off. Now she understands why Polaris had her grab it. She always knows where they're going. The North Star.
Her gaze never leaves Alan's dull eyes. A panic fills her as his eyes darken, but she never lets it show. Sometimes she'll let her guard down and show him everything, but this isnt' one of those times. Not when he isn't himself. She won't give the Dark Presence, Scratch, whoever it is have that much power over her. That much control. There's only two beings she'll ever give that much control of herself over to.
Both are in the room with her right now.
With an unwanted guest.
Not only are his words wrong, but how he's acting is wrong. It's not her Alan at all--the real Alan Wake. It's the Alan Wake that the Dark Presence is trying to carve him into. The one that will give up and let it take over. He always has a particular tone and sound in his voice when he's speaking with her, to her, narrating at her. All of that is gone. Now it's just the man the wave of the Dark Place leave behind when it washes him out.
He probably doesn't even realize who she is.
« Just a fiery guiding star in the night sky. One the drowning man is trying to grasp onto from the small driftwood he's hanging onto.
Fine. That's fine. I can play that role if that's what he really needs--deep down. If the Director and Jesse can't help? Fine. We'll do that. We can't let him drown. »
『 She knew that desperate acts can have grim consequences. It was this, more than the man's despair, that made her follow the call. 』
« He knew me that well even back then. »
She gently slides the flashlight between his hands in her lap. Her own hands clasp around his. Thumbs brush along his to guide them to the switch on the side. She doesn't press in on them just yet.
｟ Alan. ｠
Jesse lets out a shaking exhale. She's never done this before--let Polaris take over this much. But, it's what her best friend tells her to do. She trusts Polaris with everything... but it still scares her to let go this much. She'll do it.
Around one constant they revolve. ]
｟ Alan Wake. ｠ [ Jesse feels the words come from her. Her voice and Polaris's resonance being spoken out loud, not just said in Alan's mind. ] ｟ Darkness only exists where Light does. One makes the other. The other clings to it's maker. Around and around they go. Spiraling down together. Spiraling up together. The Writer existing in the space between both and needing to know both to write his escape. Alan Wake, the Writer. The Writer who needs his words and his light to shape the Darkness. ｠
[ Jesse gently tugs him closer, placing her forehead to his for this brief moment. She's hoping the words reach him and resonate--to finally free him of the ocean in his mind. So he can be Alan Wake again.
« Even if in the end he can't be Alan Wake with me. »
The thought of that hurts as much as losing Dylan did. Straight into her core, and the expression shows in her eyes. She's so afraid of losing him like she lost everyone else. ]
｟ You called me, and here I am. I'm here. The fiery guiding star. The star can point the way, hold out her hand to save the drowning man, tell him what he needs to do. The Writer must decide who he is. ｠ [ Her voice wavers between Polaris' resonance and Jesse's voice at times, but still harmonizes between the two. ]｟ Will Alan Wake be the Champion of Light, or allow the Harold of Darkness to take him? Will he chose the ending written already, or follow the path that revolves under the star he called? ｠
[ Jesse is practically screaming in her own mind. Scared, worried, panicking because she can't control the situation. He has to come home. He promised. She presses against his forehead again as her gaze begs him to pick who she knows he is, but ultimately, she can't make him chose. She can't pick his decision. She can't control it.
And that scares the hell out of her.
She feels herself pull back. Polaris is making her do it. Not away from him entirely, but removing that touch of their foreheads. Her hands remain around his with the flashlight. That gentle resonance that belongs to uniquely them channels into his hands and into the flashlight. The one that rests between his hands and remains off despite how Jesse's fingers overlap his to help him press the switch.
Polaris nor her host can turn on the light for him.
He needs to decide if he'll continue to fight and grasp onto the light and finally free it... or drown away in the waves of the darkness. ]
no subject
[ Her gaze softens. She isn't willing to say he's ready to give up, but, he's certainly wanting to avoid facing it. He's been fighting on his own for too long. He's tired. Probably scared. He hasn't had something or someone like she's had Polaris. It's been thirteen years of this room, these boards, the desk, the typewriter. It's possible he doesn't really fully grasp the fact that he's not alone in this now.
He has her. Polaris. ]
It's actually what I was wearing when I found the FBC. I literally took what I had on me, and took a bus, and went straight to New York. [ She smiles slightly at him. ] That's what I was trying to tell the woman in that recording. Polaris sent me instructions on where to be, where to go, and what day. I didn't know why or why it was important until I got there ... and went diving into the past. More than I thought I would.
I was always a fan of Children of the Elder God. Dad usually played the Greatest Hits. That's the one I found in the dump that the FBC had taken. No vinyl though... just the cover.
[ Her hands squeeze his once more. Though, she stills at his suggestion. What good would that do? They pulled Hartman across the country to the Oldest House. And, when Alice Wake showed up, he broke out. He trashed an entire sector of the Oldest House. How would doing something similar to Alan be any better?
« Scratch is more powerful than Hartman. He's been... apart of the Dark Presence longer, right? Or, he is the Dark Presence. I can't tell which one. They seem interconnected. I don't think it'd be a good idea to bring him to the Oldest House. Especially if he's in Alan. That's NOT happening. Never again. » ]
Hartman broke out and nearly tore the entire Investigations Sector apart. Scratch would devastate what's left of the Bureau. I can't take him back there. Especially not inside you. That's not happening, okay? You're not getting out of here just to sacrifice yourself on some grandiose scale because you feel guilty, Alan. That's just going to make it all worse and you know that. It'd be giving Scratch exactly what he wants: to be you.
[ She sighs and shakes her head. ] Something does cancel out the Darkness. Fights it. It's the Light. Come on, Alan. You KNOW this. How do I know you know? You were the one that taught it to me. Weren't you? When you sent me after Hartman.
[ The whole parade of events is horrifying for her to see. It's different from talking to Dylan possessed by the Hiss. Instead, she's sitting there just watching as the Dark Presence takes over his words little by little. She knows Alan. Understands how he writes, how he talks, how he thinks. The words are in his voice but they aren't his. His voice changes to match the cadence of the words. A duller tone, lacking of anything that makes him Alan Wake.
« No, he's wrong. There is light. It's not bright, but it's not smoldering either. But it's still HERE. He's still here. That's why he brought us here. Why else would he relate the color of my hair to fire, and refer to you as a guiding star? Other than my name for you. They both give off light. Those two things make things brighter. It's just not letting him see it, because if he does, then it's losing. And it needs someone to dream it free. That's what this Something is... isn't it? This voice in my head that's trying to be me. It's the Dark Presence. The same thing talking through him and making him believe what he's saying. He hasn't realized it's not HIM saying it. »
Jesse lets one of his elbows go and reaches back behind her. The flashlight on the desk vibrates until it sails perfectly into her hand. It clicks off. Now she understands why Polaris had her grab it. She always knows where they're going. The North Star.
Her gaze never leaves Alan's dull eyes. A panic fills her as his eyes darken, but she never lets it show. Sometimes she'll let her guard down and show him everything, but this isnt' one of those times. Not when he isn't himself. She won't give the Dark Presence, Scratch, whoever it is have that much power over her. That much control. There's only two beings she'll ever give that much control of herself over to.
Both are in the room with her right now.
With an unwanted guest.
Not only are his words wrong, but how he's acting is wrong. It's not her Alan at all--the real Alan Wake. It's the Alan Wake that the Dark Presence is trying to carve him into. The one that will give up and let it take over. He always has a particular tone and sound in his voice when he's speaking with her, to her, narrating at her. All of that is gone. Now it's just the man the wave of the Dark Place leave behind when it washes him out.
He probably doesn't even realize who she is.
« Just a fiery guiding star in the night sky. One the drowning man is trying to grasp onto from the small driftwood he's hanging onto.
Fine. That's fine. I can play that role if that's what he really needs--deep down. If the Director and Jesse can't help? Fine. We'll do that. We can't let him drown. »
『 She knew that desperate acts can have grim consequences. It was this, more than the man's despair, that made her follow the call. 』
« He knew me that well even back then. »
She gently slides the flashlight between his hands in her lap. Her own hands clasp around his. Thumbs brush along his to guide them to the switch on the side. She doesn't press in on them just yet.
｟ Alan. ｠
Jesse lets out a shaking exhale. She's never done this before--let Polaris take over this much. But, it's what her best friend tells her to do. She trusts Polaris with everything... but it still scares her to let go this much. She'll do it.
Around one constant they revolve. ]
｟ Alan Wake. ｠ [ Jesse feels the words come from her. Her voice and Polaris's resonance being spoken out loud, not just said in Alan's mind. ] ｟ Darkness only exists where Light does. One makes the other. The other clings to it's maker. Around and around they go. Spiraling down together. Spiraling up together. The Writer existing in the space between both and needing to know both to write his escape. Alan Wake, the Writer. The Writer who needs his words and his light to shape the Darkness. ｠
[ Jesse gently tugs him closer, placing her forehead to his for this brief moment. She's hoping the words reach him and resonate--to finally free him of the ocean in his mind. So he can be Alan Wake again.
« Even if in the end he can't be Alan Wake with me. »
The thought of that hurts as much as losing Dylan did. Straight into her core, and the expression shows in her eyes. She's so afraid of losing him like she lost everyone else. ]
｟ You called me, and here I am. I'm here. The fiery guiding star. The star can point the way, hold out her hand to save the drowning man, tell him what he needs to do. The Writer must decide who he is. ｠ [ Her voice wavers between Polaris' resonance and Jesse's voice at times, but still harmonizes between the two. ]｟ Will Alan Wake be the Champion of Light, or allow the Harold of Darkness to take him? Will he chose the ending written already, or follow the path that revolves under the star he called? ｠
[ Jesse is practically screaming in her own mind. Scared, worried, panicking because she can't control the situation. He has to come home. He promised. She presses against his forehead again as her gaze begs him to pick who she knows he is, but ultimately, she can't make him chose. She can't pick his decision. She can't control it.
And that scares the hell out of her.
She feels herself pull back. Polaris is making her do it. Not away from him entirely, but removing that touch of their foreheads. Her hands remain around his with the flashlight. That gentle resonance that belongs to uniquely them channels into his hands and into the flashlight. The one that rests between his hands and remains off despite how Jesse's fingers overlap his to help him press the switch.
Polaris nor her host can turn on the light for him.
He needs to decide if he'll continue to fight and grasp onto the light and finally free it... or drown away in the waves of the darkness. ]