[ She pauses as he's requested. Her eyes stay on him, watching how his face and eyes move as he tries to recall something. Honestly, she expected a fact about the story or the Dark Place. Not a personal story about his fears as a child. The expression on her face softens as does the look in her eyes.
« He's still afraid of the dark. Except this Dark does have things that come to life in it. People carved out into empty puppets. Faces that shift. Items that can move on their own. This Darkness really is a monster and something to be afraid of. » ]
Maybe it drives the Dark away because you believe it will. There's... items are altered by events around them. Altered Items. Some are so powerful that they can impact and change not only themselves but reality. It's how parautalitarians can access what we can. I... just have more under my belt because I'm the Director. But, whose to say your light switch isn't actually magical because it is?
It changes the room around it by casting shadows away. It changes the reality we see and interact with. [ There is no dismissal in her tone. No denial. Complete and utter belief. ] It happened to me. I was... in the basement of the building Door does his show in. I was stuck. Then, this light came from nowhere and changed it all around me. I found the Light Switch Cord. It led me to your message...
[ « I really am weird. Hopefully he doesn't mind. Hopefully it's the right kind of insane. »
Jesse shakes her head slightly at his question. ] No. I... couldn't open up enough to be in a band. [ Her gaze drops and a sad smile takes her face then. ] I meant more like, leather jacket, jeans, sometimes a band t-shirt.
Nirvana was okay. But, I grew up a fan of the Old Gods of Asgard. Dad had a few of their vinyls and I was instantly hooked. [ Her gaze lowers slightly. ] I found the vinyl covers in the dump. They brought the entire Ordinary Dump to the FBC to study... made a diorama of the town... mapped out how the whole AWE started...
[ She frowns. ] They did the same thing for Hartman. He was in a containment cell next to a mockup of a lodge at Cauldron Lake. They were trying to get him to react to something, I guess. The documents I found didn't really say what they were looking for in him.
[ The frown turns into a slight smile at his words. The implications of the words both used imply some form of ownership, and some people might find it uncomfortable. Oddly enough, not Jesse. She feels ... wanted. Needed. Like she belongs with someone. Maybe it's screwed up, but what about her is normal?
Her eyes close as she presses her face into the crook of his neck. ]
It looks like we're both too stubborn for our own good. Maybe that'll help... now that we're working together, and I'm not just making demands. Even if you agreed? I'm sure how I went about it didn't make any of this easier.
I'm sorry. [ « I'm not sure I could say it enough to actually express it. He's dealing with so much shit. He doesn't need me making more shit for him to deal with. Not when I'm supposed to be here to help. » ] Is... there a way to make it work that won't be difficult on you? It might be a fight either way, if the powers that be are so against it.
[ « If his doppleganger wants to be him so much... why does he hate me? Is it just because of what I am? Or hes a mirror of Alan so he hates me as much as Alan loves me? I don't understand. I don't like not understanding this. »
His other questions haven't gone unheard or unnoticed. She just doesn't want to bring attention to it. Alan seems like he's in a delicate place at the moment. She can't imagine hearing about what she's hearing is going to make him any better in that place. He might topple over. Start to wash out again...
If I just stayed here, then he'd never go away again. I could stay here with him. We could finish the edits together. Find a way for the ending to make everyone happy. Then, just let it play out. We could be happy here together. Just the two of us. It's weird enough for us. Being in another place all together away from the real world. If he can't get out, why can't I stay here?
« STOP. Just stop it! I'm not going to indulge or argue with this. Fuck off! »
Jesse feels another spike of Polaris's resonance shoot through her. It's almost like a battle now. One that the resonance isn't entirely equipped to fight. Polaris cancels the Hiss and amplifies the light, but there's not much of it in the room. Regardless if it's coming from Alan or just being in the Dark Place period. Polaris needs something to make herself stronger to push out whatever this Something is.
Jesse takes a few steps back until she's against the desk in the room. Her hands tug on his, asking him to come with her. Then, she lifts herself to sit on the edge of the desk he's been using for years. Her hands slide from his to his elbows as she presses her forehead to his. ]
Alan. [ Her voice trembles slightly as she tries to figure out how to say it. How to let him know what's going on without being blunt and sending him out on a spiral in his mind. She doesn't know what it is, and she doesn't want it to get to him through her. ] I need you to listen, okay? Stay here and listen.
[ She finally opens her eyes again to meet his gray ones. She's always liked the color. It's unique, like him. ]
Polaris has been trying to reach you. Not just because you asked, but... because she's trying to make herself stronger here. In Bright Falls. She can't cancel out the Darkness because it's not what she does. She cancels the Hiss. The Hiss amplified the Darkness in Hartman, making him the Third Thing. Right? You remember that.
She can do the same for the Light. But, she's a benign resonance. She can change things, but it's harmonious, gradual. She can only make the Light stronger and louder... she can't replace it. [ Jesse presses her forehead to his more. ] That's why she's been trying to help you. You're the Champion of Light--the Torchbearer. If she can reach that part of you, she can help. But, you have to let her--us--in. I don't mean by loving me or agreeing with me.
You have to listen to her and bring yourself to her. [ She brings their hands up to rest in her lap. ] You have to take the light switch, believe it will help, then turn it on. She can help the way you want her to when the lights are on.
[ « Come on, Alan. I know you can. You're smart. You work in metaphors. Your books are laced with them. You know what I mean, but don't be scared and run away from it. Fight it. You can be that man again in some way. The one who jumped in the Lake to save his wife. »
Maybe he doesn't want to. Maybe he just wants to stay in the Dark with his nightmares and bring me in with him. Companionship. Someone to be in the Dark along side him. I could do it. I'm not an artist, it wouldn't try to do the same--
« SHUT UP. »
Her hands clamp around his elbows as Polaris's tries to build her resonance again. ]
Alan, you need to wake up. All the way. I need you to wake up. Please.
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« He's still afraid of the dark. Except this Dark does have things that come to life in it. People carved out into empty puppets. Faces that shift. Items that can move on their own. This Darkness really is a monster and something to be afraid of. » ]
Maybe it drives the Dark away because you believe it will. There's... items are altered by events around them. Altered Items. Some are so powerful that they can impact and change not only themselves but reality. It's how parautalitarians can access what we can. I... just have more under my belt because I'm the Director. But, whose to say your light switch isn't actually magical because it is?
It changes the room around it by casting shadows away. It changes the reality we see and interact with. [ There is no dismissal in her tone. No denial. Complete and utter belief. ] It happened to me. I was... in the basement of the building Door does his show in. I was stuck. Then, this light came from nowhere and changed it all around me. I found the Light Switch Cord. It led me to your message...
[ « I really am weird. Hopefully he doesn't mind. Hopefully it's the right kind of insane. »
Jesse shakes her head slightly at his question. ] No. I... couldn't open up enough to be in a band. [ Her gaze drops and a sad smile takes her face then. ] I meant more like, leather jacket, jeans, sometimes a band t-shirt.
Nirvana was okay. But, I grew up a fan of the Old Gods of Asgard. Dad had a few of their vinyls and I was instantly hooked. [ Her gaze lowers slightly. ] I found the vinyl covers in the dump. They brought the entire Ordinary Dump to the FBC to study... made a diorama of the town... mapped out how the whole AWE started...
[ She frowns. ] They did the same thing for Hartman. He was in a containment cell next to a mockup of a lodge at Cauldron Lake. They were trying to get him to react to something, I guess. The documents I found didn't really say what they were looking for in him.
[ The frown turns into a slight smile at his words. The implications of the words both used imply some form of ownership, and some people might find it uncomfortable. Oddly enough, not Jesse. She feels ... wanted. Needed. Like she belongs with someone. Maybe it's screwed up, but what about her is normal?
Her eyes close as she presses her face into the crook of his neck. ]
It looks like we're both too stubborn for our own good. Maybe that'll help... now that we're working together, and I'm not just making demands. Even if you agreed? I'm sure how I went about it didn't make any of this easier.
I'm sorry. [ « I'm not sure I could say it enough to actually express it. He's dealing with so much shit. He doesn't need me making more shit for him to deal with. Not when I'm supposed to be here to help. » ] Is... there a way to make it work that won't be difficult on you? It might be a fight either way, if the powers that be are so against it.
[ « If his doppleganger wants to be him so much... why does he hate me? Is it just because of what I am? Or hes a mirror of Alan so he hates me as much as Alan loves me? I don't understand. I don't like not understanding this. »
His other questions haven't gone unheard or unnoticed. She just doesn't want to bring attention to it. Alan seems like he's in a delicate place at the moment. She can't imagine hearing about what she's hearing is going to make him any better in that place. He might topple over. Start to wash out again...
If I just stayed here, then he'd never go away again. I could stay here with him. We could finish the edits together. Find a way for the ending to make everyone happy. Then, just let it play out. We could be happy here together. Just the two of us. It's weird enough for us. Being in another place all together away from the real world. If he can't get out, why can't I stay here?
« STOP. Just stop it! I'm not going to indulge or argue with this. Fuck off! »
Jesse feels another spike of Polaris's resonance shoot through her. It's almost like a battle now. One that the resonance isn't entirely equipped to fight. Polaris cancels the Hiss and amplifies the light, but there's not much of it in the room. Regardless if it's coming from Alan or just being in the Dark Place period. Polaris needs something to make herself stronger to push out whatever this Something is.
Jesse takes a few steps back until she's against the desk in the room. Her hands tug on his, asking him to come with her. Then, she lifts herself to sit on the edge of the desk he's been using for years. Her hands slide from his to his elbows as she presses her forehead to his. ]
Alan. [ Her voice trembles slightly as she tries to figure out how to say it. How to let him know what's going on without being blunt and sending him out on a spiral in his mind. She doesn't know what it is, and she doesn't want it to get to him through her. ] I need you to listen, okay? Stay here and listen.
[ She finally opens her eyes again to meet his gray ones. She's always liked the color. It's unique, like him. ]
Polaris has been trying to reach you. Not just because you asked, but... because she's trying to make herself stronger here. In Bright Falls. She can't cancel out the Darkness because it's not what she does. She cancels the Hiss. The Hiss amplified the Darkness in Hartman, making him the Third Thing. Right? You remember that.
She can do the same for the Light. But, she's a benign resonance. She can change things, but it's harmonious, gradual. She can only make the Light stronger and louder... she can't replace it. [ Jesse presses her forehead to his more. ] That's why she's been trying to help you. You're the Champion of Light--the Torchbearer. If she can reach that part of you, she can help. But, you have to let her--us--in. I don't mean by loving me or agreeing with me.
You have to listen to her and bring yourself to her. [ She brings their hands up to rest in her lap. ] You have to take the light switch, believe it will help, then turn it on. She can help the way you want her to when the lights are on.
[ « Come on, Alan. I know you can. You're smart. You work in metaphors. Your books are laced with them. You know what I mean, but don't be scared and run away from it. Fight it. You can be that man again in some way. The one who jumped in the Lake to save his wife. »
Maybe he doesn't want to. Maybe he just wants to stay in the Dark with his nightmares and bring me in with him. Companionship. Someone to be in the Dark along side him. I could do it. I'm not an artist, it wouldn't try to do the same--
« SHUT UP. »
Her hands clamp around his elbows as Polaris's tries to build her resonance again. ]
Alan, you need to wake up. All the way. I need you to wake up. Please.