It would be nice... but, most people would say a girl is crazy after insisting that an industrial accident didn't take down her town. That the government covered it up. That the government took her brother and her parents literally disappeared into thin air. [ The tone in her voice suggests how often she heard it. Teachers, foster parents, psychiatrists, partners. She never buckled and wondered if she was wrong. She just... was tired of being alone in the room. ] I wouldn't be surprised if you would have thought I was crazy.
[ Jesse's lips press together to keep herself from laughing at the pun. Her eyes gently roll, but the smile is still in her eyes. She gently hits her hand into his arm--playfully. ] You saw part of it. If you remember meeting me in the Motel.
[ He remembers the Light Switch Cord. Hopefully he remembers the key she gave him to her apartment too--maybe he has it on him or in his desk. Now that she thinks about it? She hasn't seen his messenger bag or the angel lamp. Does he only have those at certain times? ]
My hair's usually up though. So, you may not like that as much. [ Jesse thinks he'd rather dislike having that much of her hair pulled back. At least if he likes seeing her hair hang around her face. ] Maybe I'll change it when you're home.
[ Her fingers wrap around his tightly. He's cast her into the role of hero and lifeline. Normally she'd rail against being put in something like this without permission. But, maybe these roles are so natural that she doesn't think twice of it. All she thinks about is how she can do those roles better. Be more of them. Fulfill them.
She nods at his reasoning. It might be too maddening if he realized how many times they've been through it all.
Her gaze moves from the note her fingers rest on to the rest of the board once again. Then, she sees it. Her name written, sometimes scribbled, in any available place. A weight seems to press on her. If it was anyone else? She'd be horrified. But, she knows Alan, and knows his mind. Seen what the Dark Place has done to him--to his mind. It's not disturbing, or obsessive.
If anything? It hurts.
She had the feeling creeping on her that perhaps she didn't truly understand what it meant to insist he put them into the story. Not that she is apologetic of asking for it--but she is for demanding it in the way she did. There was no way to truly understand the enormity of the task for such a small thing. Now his reactions make all the more sense. She had a feeling that he was never thanked for all that he did... but now everything around it is truly settling down on her.
« He's been doing all of this by himself for how long? How many versions did this all go through before this version of Return? This is all such a mess. One big fucking mess. What can we do to help? Is there really anything we can do here? »
He says her name and it pulls her from the communication with Polaris. Her hand squeezes his tightly before slowly turning to him. Alan's gaze is on the floor, turned away, but he's still present in the room with them. He hasn't washed out.
She takes small step needed to be pressed into his personal space again. Her other hand reaches out to take his. Jesse was never much of a physical person until she met him. Now it's like she can't stop trying to hold his hand, or touch his elbow, or be close to him in some way.
Then, she rests her forehead on his shoulder. ]
I'm sorry. [ She hopes he understands what she's apologizing for. ] I didn't know how hard it would be for you. I shouldn't have demanded the way I did. I just...
no subject
[ Jesse's lips press together to keep herself from laughing at the pun. Her eyes gently roll, but the smile is still in her eyes. She gently hits her hand into his arm--playfully. ] You saw part of it. If you remember meeting me in the Motel.
[ He remembers the Light Switch Cord. Hopefully he remembers the key she gave him to her apartment too--maybe he has it on him or in his desk. Now that she thinks about it? She hasn't seen his messenger bag or the angel lamp. Does he only have those at certain times? ]
My hair's usually up though. So, you may not like that as much. [ Jesse thinks he'd rather dislike having that much of her hair pulled back. At least if he likes seeing her hair hang around her face. ] Maybe I'll change it when you're home.
[ Her fingers wrap around his tightly. He's cast her into the role of hero and lifeline. Normally she'd rail against being put in something like this without permission. But, maybe these roles are so natural that she doesn't think twice of it. All she thinks about is how she can do those roles better. Be more of them. Fulfill them.
She nods at his reasoning. It might be too maddening if he realized how many times they've been through it all.
Her gaze moves from the note her fingers rest on to the rest of the board once again. Then, she sees it. Her name written, sometimes scribbled, in any available place. A weight seems to press on her. If it was anyone else? She'd be horrified. But, she knows Alan, and knows his mind. Seen what the Dark Place has done to him--to his mind. It's not disturbing, or obsessive.
If anything? It hurts.
She had the feeling creeping on her that perhaps she didn't truly understand what it meant to insist he put them into the story. Not that she is apologetic of asking for it--but she is for demanding it in the way she did. There was no way to truly understand the enormity of the task for such a small thing. Now his reactions make all the more sense. She had a feeling that he was never thanked for all that he did... but now everything around it is truly settling down on her.
« He's been doing all of this by himself for how long? How many versions did this all go through before this version of Return? This is all such a mess. One big fucking mess. What can we do to help? Is there really anything we can do here? »
He says her name and it pulls her from the communication with Polaris. Her hand squeezes his tightly before slowly turning to him. Alan's gaze is on the floor, turned away, but he's still present in the room with them. He hasn't washed out.
She takes small step needed to be pressed into his personal space again. Her other hand reaches out to take his. Jesse was never much of a physical person until she met him. Now it's like she can't stop trying to hold his hand, or touch his elbow, or be close to him in some way.
Then, she rests her forehead on his shoulder. ]
I'm sorry. [ She hopes he understands what she's apologizing for. ] I didn't know how hard it would be for you. I shouldn't have demanded the way I did. I just...