It's fine. [ The answer is quick, slightly defensive, one she's given before. She squeezes his hands again. ] You wouldn't have liked me then. Not many people did... obviously. I figured it out. Eventually made enough to have apartments wherever I moved to. I never stayed long.
[ Jesse could see herself being enamored with Alan as he was those years ago. While she's seen the asshole he was in the media? She knows him well enough to understand he wouldn't have been like that around everyone. Not that any of it matters.
He was living with his wife. Everything she saw said he was entirely devoted to her. He wouldn't have stopped to look at her twice. It hurts, but, she knows it's the truth.
She would have been just another crazy person on the streets.
A frown pulls at the corner of her lips as he continues. She doesn't need thanks--this is part of her job. Part of her. Alan somehow got his way into her life and now she refuses to let him go. She's lost enough people to AWEs. Weirdness. The way the world really is. She won't let Alan be on that list of people.
Now, if only she could express that properly to him.
Jesse lets her eyes open and move upwards to find his again. Her heart pounds from everything. Fear of losing him, loving him, exhaustion. All of it mingles together in one collective ball of... everything.
« Very descriptive, Jesse. You really nailed it. »
A few moments pass and then she pulls herself up. Not away, as her arms are still wrapped around him, refusing to let go of him. What if she does and he drifts away again? ]
I can't leave you here forever. I can't go on as if none or this ever happened. I ... that's not who I am anymore. [ « I ran and left Dylan. I didn't mean to. But look at everything that happened because I did. I can't do that anymore. I'm the Director now. » ] is it that hard to believe I don't want to go back to not knowing you? I ... we're...
[ Her gaze drops and she sighs. Words. He's so good at them and she never will be. He has all these words--doesn't he? No. He said something about the words being wrong... being "gone."
« Is he running out of ideas on how to fix Return? What about this Initiation thing? Could we help with either one? I can't take him back with me... so maybe this is the next thing we can try. »
Her head tilts to brush her cheeks along her shoulder to dry the remaining ones. Just like that, she's pushed everything back inside and entered being the Director again. The hero. The not so ordinary girl isn't what he needs. That's not why he called her here.
Her hands move from his back to gently holding his face between them again. ]
It works if your on a tour for a book... or on a creepy talk show. [ She gives him a half smile. Then, she leans in and presses her forehead to his gently. That quiet determination shows in her green eyes as well as love. ] About that... he mentioned "Initiation." Door, that is. What book is that? You've never mentioned it.
no subject
[ Jesse could see herself being enamored with Alan as he was those years ago. While she's seen the asshole he was in the media? She knows him well enough to understand he wouldn't have been like that around everyone. Not that any of it matters.
He was living with his wife. Everything she saw said he was entirely devoted to her. He wouldn't have stopped to look at her twice. It hurts, but, she knows it's the truth.
She would have been just another crazy person on the streets.
A frown pulls at the corner of her lips as he continues. She doesn't need thanks--this is part of her job. Part of her. Alan somehow got his way into her life and now she refuses to let him go. She's lost enough people to AWEs. Weirdness. The way the world really is. She won't let Alan be on that list of people.
Now, if only she could express that properly to him.
Jesse lets her eyes open and move upwards to find his again. Her heart pounds from everything. Fear of losing him, loving him, exhaustion. All of it mingles together in one collective ball of... everything.
« Very descriptive, Jesse. You really nailed it. »
A few moments pass and then she pulls herself up. Not away, as her arms are still wrapped around him, refusing to let go of him. What if she does and he drifts away again? ]
I can't leave you here forever. I can't go on as if none or this ever happened. I ... that's not who I am anymore. [ « I ran and left Dylan. I didn't mean to. But look at everything that happened because I did. I can't do that anymore. I'm the Director now. » ] is it that hard to believe I don't want to go back to not knowing you? I ... we're...
[ Her gaze drops and she sighs. Words. He's so good at them and she never will be. He has all these words--doesn't he? No. He said something about the words being wrong... being "gone."
« Is he running out of ideas on how to fix Return? What about this Initiation thing? Could we help with either one? I can't take him back with me... so maybe this is the next thing we can try. »
Her head tilts to brush her cheeks along her shoulder to dry the remaining ones. Just like that, she's pushed everything back inside and entered being the Director again. The hero. The not so ordinary girl isn't what he needs. That's not why he called her here.
Her hands move from his back to gently holding his face between them again. ]
It works if your on a tour for a book... or on a creepy talk show. [ She gives him a half smile. Then, she leans in and presses her forehead to his gently. That quiet determination shows in her green eyes as well as love. ] About that... he mentioned "Initiation." Door, that is. What book is that? You've never mentioned it.