[ No. Jesse blames Saga for her own actions. The agent was willingly to listen or to work with her. Instead, she went with an option that set off not only Jesse's internal defenses, but the ones found with the entity she's interwoven with. The ones that dictate what she does--or try to anyways. No one is responsible for Saga's actions other than Saga. Part of her wants to give the agent a piece of her mind.
« If you have these powers you can't just screw around with them like this. They're not TOYS. They're not just TOOLS to use. Using them has consequences for everyone involved. Obviously, she has no idea what these powers can do. I doubt she'd want to hear the lecture from anyone in the Bureau either. Still, we have to work together to stop this. There's no other way to beat this horror story.
Even if part of me just wants to react and make her feel what I did. That won't do any of us good. She won't learn or listen from that. She's stubborn, just like the rest of us. »
Her hand tightens around his in response. ]
People would be caught up in this mess. Estevez has been here longer than I've been the Director. Somehow, someway, we all have ties to this story, Alan. There's no point in apologizing for dragging each of us into it. There's better ways to spend our time.
[ She pauses and a smile tries to find its way to her face. ] I know you are. No one else may realize how hard you're trying to fix this--change it to what it's supposed to be.
[ Her gaze returns to him as she watches the emotions flick across his face. She's not a mindreader and can't tell what he's thinking. All she knows for sure is that his mind is going places and putting something together. Some sort of realization she's not privy to. Maybe it's something in his mind that he puts things together with. A board, a wall, something that puts all his thoughts out in one place.
He is a writer after all.
« He really does blame himself for everything wrong. Doesn't he? »
Jesse pushes herself up with the arm she's laying on. She leans over him, enough so the red hair that frames her face falls over her shoulders to brisk along his. Green eyes latch immediately onto his gray ones as they move back to her. An undercurrent of vulnerability is present in her own gaze, but also that subtle determination to continue guiding him out of the waves when they come for him. ]
How could you know how bad it is? You've been trapped in another dimension for thirteen years. A dimension even I don't really understand.
Hey, [ Jesse presses her forehead to his, demanding his whole attention be on her, ] I don't expect you to know. I don't even expect you to understand, because maybe I'm too crazy for you to understand. That's fine. All I ask is that you listen and you don't run away from it. Okay?
[ « Don't leave and close the door like everyone else. » ]
There's always dark and light. Right? Sometimes it's just harder to see the light when everything seems dark. [ Or... something. Words and writing is his area, not hers. ] I don't think you can have the world be entirely one or the other. It's both.
[ She looks down briefly to center herself before looking back up at him. It doesn't matter to her that he's older than her. It doesn't matter that he's been trapped in a nightmare dimension and isn't even a normal definition of sane. It's not like she is either. At least he doesn't have an alien entity interwoven into his own matter or whatever level it is that she's connected to Polaris at now.
« I need to tell him. It can't wait for another loop or for when he finally does fix this. » ]
I didn't ask that you put us back into the story because I wanted to demand something from you. Or to control where the story is going or what it has to be.
[ She bites the inside of her lip for a moment. What if he jumps away the moment she says it? What if he's out the door? What if he brings up the fact that he's married and it's all been a horrible decision? What if he leaves?
Her shoulders square as that natural defensive wall tries to make itself known. This time, she pushes it down. He needs to know. No matter what his answer or reaction is. This is something he can't be kept in the dark about. ]
I asked because--I wanted to be with the man I love again. Here, in our reality. Home.
no subject
« If you have these powers you can't just screw around with them like this. They're not TOYS. They're not just TOOLS to use. Using them has consequences for everyone involved. Obviously, she has no idea what these powers can do. I doubt she'd want to hear the lecture from anyone in the Bureau either. Still, we have to work together to stop this. There's no other way to beat this horror story.
Even if part of me just wants to react and make her feel what I did. That won't do any of us good. She won't learn or listen from that. She's stubborn, just like the rest of us. »
Her hand tightens around his in response. ]
People would be caught up in this mess. Estevez has been here longer than I've been the Director. Somehow, someway, we all have ties to this story, Alan. There's no point in apologizing for dragging each of us into it. There's better ways to spend our time.
[ She pauses and a smile tries to find its way to her face. ] I know you are. No one else may realize how hard you're trying to fix this--change it to what it's supposed to be.
[ Her gaze returns to him as she watches the emotions flick across his face. She's not a mindreader and can't tell what he's thinking. All she knows for sure is that his mind is going places and putting something together. Some sort of realization she's not privy to. Maybe it's something in his mind that he puts things together with. A board, a wall, something that puts all his thoughts out in one place.
He is a writer after all.
« He really does blame himself for everything wrong. Doesn't he? »
Jesse pushes herself up with the arm she's laying on. She leans over him, enough so the red hair that frames her face falls over her shoulders to brisk along his. Green eyes latch immediately onto his gray ones as they move back to her. An undercurrent of vulnerability is present in her own gaze, but also that subtle determination to continue guiding him out of the waves when they come for him. ]
How could you know how bad it is? You've been trapped in another dimension for thirteen years. A dimension even I don't really understand.
Hey, [ Jesse presses her forehead to his, demanding his whole attention be on her, ] I don't expect you to know. I don't even expect you to understand, because maybe I'm too crazy for you to understand. That's fine. All I ask is that you listen and you don't run away from it. Okay?
[ « Don't leave and close the door like everyone else. » ]
There's always dark and light. Right? Sometimes it's just harder to see the light when everything seems dark. [ Or... something. Words and writing is his area, not hers. ] I don't think you can have the world be entirely one or the other. It's both.
[ She looks down briefly to center herself before looking back up at him. It doesn't matter to her that he's older than her. It doesn't matter that he's been trapped in a nightmare dimension and isn't even a normal definition of sane. It's not like she is either. At least he doesn't have an alien entity interwoven into his own matter or whatever level it is that she's connected to Polaris at now.
« I need to tell him. It can't wait for another loop or for when he finally does fix this. » ]
I didn't ask that you put us back into the story because I wanted to demand something from you. Or to control where the story is going or what it has to be.
[ She bites the inside of her lip for a moment. What if he jumps away the moment she says it? What if he's out the door? What if he brings up the fact that he's married and it's all been a horrible decision? What if he leaves?
Her shoulders square as that natural defensive wall tries to make itself known. This time, she pushes it down. He needs to know. No matter what his answer or reaction is. This is something he can't be kept in the dark about. ]
I asked because--I wanted to be with the man I love again. Here, in our reality. Home.